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Everything around him was crashing and burning to the ground. Now only did his addiction to alcohol grow to be such a big part of his live, but even Charrie was doubting whether to stay or go. What was he going to do? If he had no alcohol then he would at least suffer for two weeks in this state. He wouldnt be able to think of anything else besides alcohol and his body was surely going to ruin him until everything passed. He knew he had to do this. Not for Charrie, or anyone else, but for himself. He needed to stop being so pathetic and weak. He needed to be tough and know the right thing to do all the time. He needed to be like Heath.
Ever since back then, Heath knew exactly what to do. He was extremely attractive, he was smart, and he wasnt weak. How could Charrie not fall for him in Russia. She made him feel like he was stupid, that he made all these stupid choices and that he was selfish. He just didnt understand what she was tying to tell him. Everything was all jumbled up in anger and spit out at him like a fireball. What did she mean? DId she not want to be together anymore because they were both messed up?
"Im sorry I made stupid decisions. I was upset. Angry that I couldnt do a thing. What else was I supposed to do, face it and move on? I didnt want to. I knew someday you were going to come back. I didnt think I'd ruin my life then, but you came back and that's all that's supposed to matter right? Now we're just not good enough for each other anymore? I dont understand Charrie" he was losing it. He was partly drunk and really emotional at that point. Everyone knew Mason was the emotional drunk. He'd spill anything about what he was feeling right now. "Fine! Everything is fucking my fault okay! I get it! Im selfish, stupid, and everyone is hurting because of me. Well fuck the world. I cant even fix myself" he stayed on the carpet, soon feeling her arms around him. After insulting him so much, he couldnt believe she was hugging him right now. And the fact that she said she loved him was something he was too angry to think about.
"I hate my life Charrie. You were the only thing making it worth while. I dont know what to do anymore" he lifted his knees to his chest and just tried to take in everything. He was the weakling, no one cared about what he did anymore. He felt defeated. The only thing he could do now was try and be like Heath. He needed to fight this so he could prove everyone wrong.
He was right that it wasn’t her fault and no matter how many people said it, she wanted to believe it but she wouldn’t. It’s hard to stop believing what was already set up in her mind. She knew was sick in the head and messed up. She was trying to stop it by time. She thought she was getting better but those thoughts wouldn’t change. She didn’t have a choice to go in hiding but she had a choice not to say those things so that if they were still in war, and she left, he’d just be feeling great.
“Yea, well you made some fucked up choice,” Mase she spat without intention to be so harsh “And Mase, we’re not doing good. I’m the reason you made that choice. It may be nice to kiss each other, be close but in the end we’re both messed up and we both can’t help what we do. We’re tormenting each other from our mistakes.” She was wondering if he even had the mind sense to think. He may have kept his promise not to look at another girl but instead he turned into something worse. Something else replaced her during those three years. He was used to not having her around now. He may be happy that she’s here now but she was sure she was going to be placed second against his addiction.
“Oh, you can’t?” She raised an eyebrow “Than I guess you don’t need me around, do you?” She was just letting bunch of angry thoughts running through her head. She couldn’t control the rate her mouth was going. She wanted him to get better, so bad not for her, but for himself. She was breaking down and she just craved to go in a dark room and use what was her relief. She knew the feeling of not being depressed for the moment was good but while she did that, she made others bad. Once she proved her point, she dropped on the couch and just exclaimed her wrist for a quick second and stood there in silence. This was killing her.
“That’s what you say now,” She muttered “You’ll do it again. As long as you don’t... I won’t.” Then she thought about how screwed up they were. She was trying so hard to stop herself from harming herself these years but Mason on the other hand has done nothing but let it take over him. That’s the difference between her and him. She was a fighter and he let himself be victimized. That’s how she always saw him as. Weak. Those flaws that she had in her head while they were in war were still there.
“You’re selfish,” She stated “You’re probably too drunk and out of your mind to even think of anyone else but yourself right now. Did you ever think of how you’re hurting your parents, my parents and your friends by doing this? You say you love me but you torment me by doing this.” She then realized that he was too out of his mind to care or what she was saying. Her eyes went to him and he was shaking a little. She didn’t know what to do. She moved near him and just embraced him.
“I love you Mason. I’ll protect you. At least remember this,” She spoke softly in his ears and let her tears off. Considering Mason was anti-social nobody would come here to check up the mess. God, what happened to the little boy and girl destined to be happy together?
Mason care about Charrie so much. He didnt care if he ruined himself, he didnt want to move on because he still felt that they were meant to be together. Biting down on his lip, he glanced at Charrie just dumping his entire three years out that window. The only thing that kept him sane, the only thing that kept him from feeling so depressed and sorry for himself. It was all going away. None of it was Charrie's fault really, she was just doing what was right, but he still felt so attached to the alcohol. He couldnt watch all that glory just fall off the side of his apartment building. It was a waste of money, and a waste of his good feeling.
Mason felt defeated, he didnt know what to do. The way she yelled at him, the way she said that she wouldnt stop throwing his alcohol out the window, it was so harsh and angry. He didnt think that they needed to do this, but he knew that meant she cared so much for him. She wouldnt be trying this hard if he was just some guy on the street. Still, he couldnt believe she thought she'd hurt him. In his mind state right now, he thought she was hurting him by getting rid of the alcohol.
"It's not your fault Im like this! It was my choice! Im sick of everyone blaming themselves when all of this is my decision. I chose to bury my depression in alcohol. Okay! None of this was your fault. YOu had no choice, they took you away and now we're both alive. Yes we're doing so great right now! But we're fine!" he yelled up at her, now getting angry that he wasnt going to get any alcohol. How could he live, how could he live his days without alcohol? He was addicted. He needed it in his system. This feeling right now, everything inside, he just didnt want to deal with it. He wanted to run away from it all and leave his problems to the alcohol.
BUt as she spoke, he still listened Even when I love you I am the cause of your misery. He shook his head "I just have to get used to this....b-but I need it Charrie. I cant live without those!" he tried to tell her. But he saw the last of his alcohol smash to the ground and he just laid back against the wall, biting his lips hard. That was it. No more alcohol. Charrie would beat him up and kill if she saw him with another bottle in his hands. He didnt know what to do.
With his eyes gazing up at the wall, he took a deep breath, looking so clueless, so emotionless. He knew the next few days were going to be hell. His body wasnt used to not having alcohol. She might as well strap him down in his room right this second to make sure he didnt go crazy.
But what caught his attention was the knife she was holding. HIs eyes saw her cut her wrist to the point of it bleeding. He didnt want to see her hurting herself. That was the last thing he wanted. "I-I wont drink then" he stated before just sitting on the carpet. He couldnt think anymore. NOw that he was thinking about alcohol, he really wanted some. His body was shaking a little and his face slightly sweaty. He didnt realize how messed up their lives were. Could they even get through it?
“You’re right, there is nothing wrong with remembering it,” She smiled and then reminded him “If you kept on going like that you would have never found me.” She didn’t like the thought of him keep looking for her if there really was no way back. They shouldn’t have made promises to each other. If they didn’t make the promises with each other than maybe he’d move on and not torment himself for this long. Sure, she’d probably be upset if they weren’t together and only harm herself but she didn’t want him messing up his life.
She didn’t feel easy that he was drinking. The negative thoughts were really consuming her and she didn’t want to let them in. If she let them in, not only did she hurt herself but she knew that people around her would feel stressed. All she wanted to get from coming back was being close to him and be happy with each other. She felt better but now that she had to watch what they’ve done to each other it made her feel just as bad.
“Not a fucking chance!” She swore yelling back. As she dropped one by one, Mason attempted to stop her. There was no use and he knew it. She was going to do this weather he liked it or not. She felt destroyed just by him doing all of this. She felt the tears threaten her eyes but like she did before, she covered them up without any difficulty. Only when she was alone would she leak out sadness. She ignored his yelling and complains. She didn’t want to hear it. ‘You’re going to hurt me Charrie! ’ He yelled out. Something snapped in her.
“Yea I know! I already hurt you! This is my entire fucking fault! It’s my entire fault that you’re an alcoholic! I should have never said I loved you or made you promise anything. I was so selfish. Why didn’t you just move on? I’d rather have you move on to see you destroy yourself like this,” She rushed the words out of her with just one single tear. She wiped it off and turned her eyes cold and continued to drop the last of it on the ground “I’m sorry I’m the cause to your misery. Guess even when I love you, I hurt you.” She couldn’t handle the thoughts over her head. The terrible guilt, the hatred for herself... She just wanted to release it so bad but didn’t want to hurt herself. She may know it wasn’t her fault but believing it was different. She could go grab something sharp and release it right now but it wouldn’t be fair to him. Then, she thought how much it would affect him. Maybe it might stop him. She moved onto the kitchen and grabbed a knife.
“Mase, every time you drink like this, I’ll cut,” She regretted the words. She pressed the knife against her wrist and closed her eyes feeling the pain rushing through and it help her relief it for a minute. She then glanced at her bleeding wrist. She knew how to cut it so that she didn’t bleed a lot.
“If you don’t want me to cut, then you’ll stop drinking.” She finished. She put the knife down that her blood at the edges. It wasn’t going to bleed a lot, she knew that. She pressed on her wrist and as much as she wanted to do it again and not feel the agony she was feeling now, she forced herself. Heath said it was all about will power.
Mason shook his head, not wanting to be like their mom's at all. All he remembered were the important events, like his first kiss, or his first time with her. They were special moments that he didnt forget, and part of the reasons why he found her so attractive in the first place. He never lost sight of chasing after her, even when the war started. He never minded some emotional support from her, but like anyone else in those days, she saw it as harassment and being such a pervert.
"I dont mean to sound like them. I just remember it that's all. Nothing's wrong with remembering your first kiss" he shook his head. "But Im also glad you came back to me Char. I dont know where I'd be right now, maybe sitting at the bar, or just fiddling with chemicals in my lab. I would try everything to figure out at least one clue where you were going. BUt nothing led me in the right place" he shook his head.
"But dont Worry, I wont let those zombies come near you. THey will have to go through me first. If I could make bombs outside the house, you can snipe. I could throw chemical gasses at them. They'd never get close with my insta lab beside me" he laughed, watching the movie and trying to put himself in the characters shoes. What would he do? He was weak wasnt he? Maybe Charrie could save him or something. He wouldnt do a very good job of fighting them off.
THe drinking problem started out with just getting CHarrie out of his mind. He didnt think he would eventually become addicted to it. All he wanted was to subside the strong feelings for her, the worry, so he could actually focus on his own life. But now it was terrible. He couldnt tame himself from getting anymore beers. He wanted to finish the fridge if he could. But when Char said he had enough, he growled a little. "BUt Char! I need it. I wont kill myself. Oh come on. Just one more drink!" he begged her. He watched her throw out all of his alcohol one by one.
Running over, he tried to save them, looking over the edge and yelling. "Fuck NO!" he tried to stop her, pulling her arm. But he was too weak since he's hadnt been exercising or eating healthy. And Charrie could beat him to a pulp if he wanted to. "Im not throwing them out! I need them. If I dont get a drink...Ill....I dont even know what to do! But you cant. YOu're going to hurt me Charrie!" he saw another load of bottles go down and he got on his knees, holding her leg. "NOo! Please that's enough!" he begged her.
She couldn’t believe that he remembered that. Those kinds of memories were pushed at the back of her head during the war and it was hard to recollect them after the damage. Because every time she thought of a memory it only made her wish she’d be back and make her worse. It was also embarrassing. Her cheeks instantly lit up. That really was their first kiss.
“You’re starting to sound like our mothers mentioning that,” She stated and he reminded her about the videos. It was nice to think about memoires but now she just wanted to make new memories and good ones. And she wanted the good ones to continue so that they didn’t have to go through hell again. She knew that it may not be exactly over since they had things to get through with but she was confident that they’d figure something out. She assured her that he had nothing to owe but it didn’t change her mind set because of how far they were separated. She kissed him back “I’m glad I found a way back too.”
As the zombie movie came on, she was thinking of ways to shield herself, ways to blow their heads off before they get her. She had a whole strategy of how to get past it. Main issue with zombies is she didn’t want them any closer than fifty meters from her. Snipers would come in handy. If only she was taught how to use that but it wasn’t probably too hard considering she knew how to handle a gun.
“I know it’s not real,” She muttered “But if what if they were? I think I’d set up bombs around the house, and then use a sniper to shoot from the distance. God, I’d rather die than have those things near me,” She shivered. As he complained about the bottles she sends him a threatening glare. The old glares she gave back then.
“I thought you said you were going to try to stop,” She reminded but it didn’t seem to walk. She watched him get up and she could tell he was off. She didn’t like where this was heading. Her being here didn’t do everything after all. Her stomach sank in and she felt the guilt of being away and then having to react like this come in. If she didn’t get close to him than this would have never happened. Maybe, staying in war was what kept them from being in danger because they loved each other. When she hid inside him she just wanted something to cover her eyes because she couldn’t find a pillow. Although, his comfort helped. She scoffed at his joke “With the amount of alcohol you consume I don’t think they’d want to be near us... So I guess we are safe.” And then the worst came. She pulled herself away from him and just couldn’t believe it. But she couldn’t blame him either.
She felt like smacking him in the head a couple of times and hope it would go all the way. It wasn’t his fault. As she felt emotions of anger she also felt worried of how bad it was. She was sure that even if she seduced him into not drinking it wouldn’t for long.
“Mase,” She hardly spoke “No. You’ve had enough. Forget about the morning, I’ll throw it out now. I’m not going to stand here and watch you do this to yourself. I get it because I can barely stop cutting but I try my hardest not to. I try using other things that won’t harm me. What if you drank so much that it killed you? I came here for no fucking reason. I didn’t come here to watch you die! I stayed away to not have you die. I know it’s hard, and believe me I know, but you’ve got to try.” She grabbed the bottle, opened one of the windows and glanced down to make sure it wouldn’t hit some body’s head. She threw the bottle out the window and then was ready to go and throw more out.
“We’re going to have to throw the rest out and instead of drinking it, help me throw them out.” She stated and looked at him sadly “I’m sorry. You probably feel like I betrayed you or something but I’m doing this for your own good.” The amount of guilt holding up in her was large. She couldn’t get rid of all this negative emotion in her.
Those memories filled his mind from their childhood. Those days where he actually thought that he was going to marry Charrie and live happily ever after. THey didnt fight, they only played with each other everyday. They were really close then and it just reminded of him what could be possible right not. They could move closer than they were during the war, and who knows, maybe back to the closeness of when they were kids. "I remember my first kiss. Me and you playing wedding. ANd it was time to kiss the bride. We both wanted to try and see what it felt like. I guess it stuck with me until now" he smiled at the thought and rested his head against hers. "YOu'll be a great film maker. You always were. Even our parents enjoyed the videos" he chuckled softly as he leaned back.
"If you didnt come back Char, I would still be trying to find you. I mean, my life would pretty much be the same before I saw you again. I'd be mute and an ancoholic for who knows how long. So coming back was like saving my life. I guess you dont owe me anything anymore really. A life for a life" he said it simply as he leaned over to kiss her lips when she said she loved him. He always loved her, nothing changed that fact. Ever since she left, he was heartbroken, and now his tired heart was actually mending itself.
As her ice cold eyes glared at him, he really thought that this move was much better for her than the last one considering the people were fake and there were no such things as zombies. He literally thought that Charrie could picture herself as the protagonist and then imagine herself holding a gun. She'd be invincible. How could she not enjoy this movie when all you could think about was blasting zombie heads off. "It's alright. Im here and you dont need to worry. It's not real anyways" he tried comforting her.
"That's not fair.....If you take those bottles away, then I wont be able to....It was so good. Im going to get another one" he stood onto his feet, starting to feel a little jittery from the last one he drank. He was sure he would go have another one and maybe another after. He couldnt stop, not after everything was tasting so good. He just couldnt. When he sat down, he held two beers, opening one and setting the other one down on the table. HIs eyes looked up at the screen, seeing the scary face, followed by zombies eating human parts. He took a deep breath and held her against his chest. "Just make sure you dont squeeze through me. Im already skin on bone. DOnt want to break my bones do you" he nuzzled her cheek with his nose, trying to calm her down. It was a first to see her like this. But it was one of the things that made her a real girl. He loved those things about her. It made him feel like he protect her from those things.
"Okay he's done eating the man's brains" he joked, placing a peck on her cheek before finishing up his second then third bottle. "Aw come on. Dont be scared. Ill have the doors locked and you beside me. Nothing will touch us. I promise" he smiled, glancing to see she hadnt drank her share yet. "Um....are you going to drink that?" he asked, licking his lips excitedly.
From day one they’ve known each other. There were too many memories to keep tram of, not to mention some they couldn’t remember when they were toddlers. It was somehow comforting to know someone since you were born and being beside each other. She could remember filing Mason as kids and almost driving him crazy. She always knew Mason was smart and would go far, unlike her that didn’t focus on that as much. He could have done anything he wanted.
She knew he wouldn’t tell hell her parents about what she did to herself because he understood. His parents probably didn’t know after all. If they was that shocked to hear him talk, she felt slightly worried of things would have been if they didn’t meet each other again. It was just good that he started speaking to her. What would happen, if they really didn’t meant up though? Would she have bled herself to death and Mason drinking until he killed himself? The thoughts scared her more than anything. Maybe it would have end up differently. Maybe they would have moved on but for some reason she doubt she would be able to.
“I know you wouldn’t tell them. I just needed to say it. I can’t imagine if I didn’t back, how bad it would get,” She frowned. She just really hoped they’d get better and have to drop low to self harm. She still remained shocked that he slapped her than apologized. He was right, it did make her forget for a good time.
“Okay, it did work but I don’t know if it’ll work again,,” She sighed. At least she didn’t feel like a loser alone. They both made mistakes. He was right about one thing; she didn’t want to hurt him. It was only thankful that Mason wasn’t those typical alcoholics that threw bottles everywhere. That would be bad because than she’d have to find a way to stop him without injuring him-which would be hard.
“I do love you,” she smiled whispering. She was relieved that he changed it but then heard zombies. Evil hideous creatures with no mindset that just killed whatever they could reach. She held her breath. She really hated horror movies. She’d forced herself to watch some with Prim before and end up warding the house from evil spirits. She turned her head to him slowly with ice cold eyes.
“Then you shouldn’t have bought them in the first place. That’s a terrible excuse, you’re parents are rich.” She snickered “They’re going away Mase, just like the sharp objects. You’re on the same line as me.” It was only fair. Mason suddenly gasped and she noticed that her grip was really hard. It wasn’t her fault he choose a scary movie. She would avert her eyes every few seconds and bit her lip so hard she was sure it was going to bust. She noticed faults in the movie, there was over dramatic with their effects, terrible script and it was just plainly stupid! It was the same story all over again. There was a virus coming on and people start eating people and soon it spread and there are the survivors that have to join up.
“Ugh, this movie is so stupid. They’re doing it all wrong!” She whined and then a scary face popped up, dragging the person by the leg and starting to eat it, pull the leg until it was going to chop it off completely. She made a long whining sound and felt the horror rush into her. She grabbed Mason and held him tightly and just hid her face into his chest.
“Is that person dead yet? Is it gone?” She muttered and heard the sounds of the zombies and shivered. How can a movie be so stupid, yet scare her. It was probably because the faces were so hideous it made her want to go blind.
“Okay... I’m officially scared. We should start arming ourselves before something like that happens,” She suggested. Normally, these movies she made fun off and they’d go away but she’s never seen such hideous undead bodies.
Mason would always believe in what she wanted to do. She aways had good intentions and he knew for a fact that even if she was in Russia nothing could changed her that much to shoot innocent people. He just didnt believe Prim. Charrie was the girl on top of his list, Prim was at the bottom. Way down considering what she said to him the past few minutes.
"Of course I believe in you Char. You always knew I would become a great scientist. I always knew you could direct a movie. Heck, I remember you shooting me wherever I went when we were kids. I didnt have any privacy" he laughed softly and he just sat on the couch beside her, his arm quickly wrapping around her once more. He hoped she didnt find it too annoying. He couldnt help it. He didnt want to see her leave, not even his side anymore.
"WHy on earth would I tell your parents. I mean...you wouldnt tell mine, although I think they know....they've been claiming that I have some illness, but I havent spoken to them in years, that's why they were so surprised to see me talking at that house. But dont worry. I wouldnt say a peep. You already know I wont break a secret. I mean...I didnt even break ours" he smiled, knowing she told the family of their relationship. But he was glad she did. Now they didnt have to hide.
But as he slapped her across the cheek, he wondered if it worked. She was probably distracted from the cutting and focused on wanting to hurt him. He knew he was risking his wellbeing, but he was already so weak and scrawny anyway. And hopefully she loved him enough to not hurt him. "Im sorry Char...I just thought it would work. And I think it did, considering all you're thinking about right now is me slapping you" he said proudly. He knew the consequences of what could of happened, but he also knew that Charrie wouldnt hurt him anymore. She loved him and he loved her. He was just trying to help. He knew she could take a simple slap from such a weak guy. "But you didnt Char. You didnt hurt me because you love me" he told her softly.
He saw her going pale when he changed the channel, knowing that paranormal movies were her weakness. She was always such a tough girl beating up the bad guys, but simple ghosts and demons scared her to death. He found it adorable, but funny at the same time. He debated whether to change it, because if she couldnt sleep for a week alone, he'd gladly fill her side. But then again, he also didnt want her being all paranoid. "Okay okay. Ill just put it to zombies" he flipped the channel and then she said she'd get rid of the alcohol. "NO! I mean...you cant...I bought that with my money....it'd be a waste!" he tried to come up with an excuse to keep it there. He'd wished she didnt tell him about it. Now he was worried.
But when she gripped his arm to the point of nearly crushing it, he gasped "Charrie! Let go. We're not watching paranormal okay. Just zombies. Im not that mean. It would be like when we hated each other" he snuggled into her side, resting his head on her shoulder as they watched the movie. He still wanted her to be closer to him at least. Maybe hide under his arm or something. That was exactly why he wanted a paranormal film. One of these wouldnt scare her. She'd just criticize everything.
She rolled her eyes at his comment with a smirk. She bet he’d find her sexy in anything or in nothing. She never saw herself that way but she wasn’t in a guy’s mind after all. She got what he meant by saying that though. She was glad that he believed in her to be able to do it. If she wanted something done, she’ll get it done. If she got herself back to being here than she can follow her goals much more easily.
“Thanks for believing in me,” She smiled. She knew before she started everything, she should get her life in order first and stop injuring herself. As much as it scared Heath that night, it scared her and it seemed Mason looked scared of it himself. She couldn’t blame him. But she saw his drinking problem as a big threat too. How in the world where they going to solve each other’s problems when they couldn’t handle themselves? Maybe it’ll work.
“I know it’s bad. Just don’t tell my parents. Heath knows and I tried anti-depressants but I got irritated by them,” She admitted. She locked her mouth tight as he spoke. Heath told her it wasn’t her fault either but that didn’t stop her from believing it. Removing all the sharp objects was a good idea but it made her sound like some kind of child. Not that she could complain about it because she knew if she got depressed at a random time she’d cut. It would be bad. He paused for a second and listened to the last part. What in the world was he thinking? She could have just grabbed his hand and twisted it the wrong way before he slapped her but she didn’t. She knew he was just trying to help, yet it angered her. His hand smacking against her cheek fumed her with the rage. She should have mentioned she still wasn’t good with anger.
“You did not just slap me,” She whispered touching her cheek. He didn’t do it hard but she could still feel the small stinging. Honestly, he was so stupid for a guy working with chemicals.
“The issue is self harm, not abuse!” She exclaimed “I didn’t slap you when you I figured out your problem.” Then she claimed herself again remembering he was probably just trying to snap her out of it. It was a first that she let Mase actually inflict her. It wasn’t anything but still the first time. It did kind of shock her he actually had the guts to do it and that he actually slapped her.
“I can’t believe you just slapped me. I could have caught your wrist and sprain it,” She was stating a fact, not a threat. Then he told her he was doing just fine. She didn’t pick anything off about him yet so it so far remained to be true. They moved into the couch and he picked a paranormal film. The color was drained out of her skin. She can handle any movie, even the boring romantic ones than horror, especially paranormal. She wasn’t going to fall asleep-for three days.
“Mase, please don’t put this on. I won’t be able to sleep alone for a whole week. I’m serious. You know I freak out with paranormal stuff. I’ll start crying in the middle of the night and go paranoid that the demon is out to get me,” She admitted the full blown truth of her fear. She really hated these kind of stuff. She didn’t know why she was afraid of the monsters under her bed she was. Men with guns? Sure. Ghosts or Demons out to devour her? She’d rather die. He didn’t seem to be listening and she was already scared. She then saw him opening the bottle and drank it down.
“ For your own good, I’m going to throw out those boxes in the fridge tomorrow. And If I suspect your drinking too much, I’ll give you a wakeup call. Now can you please, for god sakes change the movie?” She half begged. She never begs. Then she was notching that she was gripping onto his arm so tightly that it hurt her muscles.
Going to sleep
"I guess you're right. It has been both ways. Using my body as shield really works doesnt it" he shook his head and had a smirk on his lips as he pictured the thought of the two of them getting married just like their mother's wanted. He could see it all happening. A lovely church, Charrie walking down the aisle to meet him. But there was a small chance of that happening. But at least there was a chance. Now that she was back and well trained, he didnt have to worry about Heath getting in between them. And now she could live with him too. That meant more time for their relationship to grow. Who knew where they would be in ten years at this rate. But when she said she'll change her mind, he grinned. At least there was a possibility of that too.
WHen she started talking about her dreams, he smiled at the thought of her becoming a film maker. He could always see Charrie behind a camera. Even as kids she would pretend to shoot him while he played around in the backyard. "I can see you as a full time director and a part time martial arts teacher. A sexy one at that" he told her, knowing she could do it. She could really set her mind to anything she wanted. She always had so much determination.
But seeing the scratches and cuts on her arms scared him. He didnt know what she was capable of doing to herself. WHy did she have to cut? WHy couldnt she have just become an alcoholic like him. "Charrie. I know that what you did was hard. What else were you supposed to do? I know you dont kill innocent people on purpose and for no reason. You did what you had to do and there was no other choice. It's okay. Just please dont blame yourself. ANd Im keeping all the sharp objects away. If you need to hurt yourself...maybe I can do this" he pulled his hand back and slapped her across the cheek. He didnt do it that hard, and he didnt want to hurt her, but he had to snap her out of it. This was much better than cutting!
"Im alright. Ill do much better if there wasnt boxes of alcohol in the fridge, but now that you mention it. Let's watch the movie" he headed into the kitchen, grabbing two bottles of beer before sitting down. He turned on the tv, looking for a movie, soon stopping at a scary, paranormal film. He then opened his bottle and began drinking in satisfaction.
She’s always known that Mason feared her from beating him down. It was really funny when she thought about it. The things they did were so childish. Now, they were protecting each other. Even if Mason didn’t know how to fight like her, he’s helped out. Hell, he took a bullet for her.
“Well, so far it’s been both ways. You stopped that bullet from hitting me. You protected me,” She reminded. Then she could see his smile change at her teasing. They were both just joking around about it. Their mom’s always pressuring them to grow up and get married since they were born. They were joking about it, right? Could it ever happen? Of course her mother’s dream was a dream so it couldn’t happen. She learned the hard way of what she thought was going to end up like fairytale ending end up that they split up for so long. No need to bring any hope of it. Besides, it made her slightly nervous that it could actually happen.
“Maybe, I’ll change my mind,” She smirked and listened to his suggestion. It sounded like a good idea. She knew that if she wanted to make a movie, she’d have to spend a year on it. She desperately wanted to make her own movie, ever since she was so young. She loved stories and she loved happy endings even if they couldn’t exist in the real world. She also liked the idea of teaching martial arts. She was good at that and it would be fun.
“Both sounds fun... I’ll do both. A movie has a lot of process to go through before it’s actually developed,” She mentioned. Choosing her career was completely out of her mind while she was Heath. She knew she wanted to do film but it slipped away after all that happened. That was her dream. To make a whole story and make it real. Then as the happiness died off to mention what she was doing to herself. She barely could breathe mentioning it. When Heath found out, he scared the shit out of her. He yelled at her and gave some life lessons and it only made things worse. Although, she knew that Heath was deathly worried about her there, he was in panic and cared for her. He eventually did talk to her calmly about it and comforted her instead of yelling. She looked down at her wrists as he began. She felt as if her stomach was gone.
“I know...” She muttered and looked up at him. She was glad that he wasn’t going to react the same way as Heath. She knew it was wrong.
“I still feel like I did something wrong. I threatened this man in front of his kids. I can’t forgive myself and not to mention I shot people. I felt nothing during the day but then it came all back and I started cutting. I didn’t like to hear you were drinking a lot either. I don’t know what’s exactly worse. Me cutting or you drinking...” She spoke. She allowed him hold her arm and touched the healing cuts. Her whole arm was ruined and she didn’t know if she was going to do it again. She almost did today but she had no blade.
“As long as I don’t have something sharp around me, I should be fine. And how about you...? How are you dealing with it?” She asked because she cared about him. He was right about her resting more but she didn’t want to stay around.
“Yea... I guess so. I’ll let you pick the movie this time. I’m sorry I had to show you that,” She sighed.
Mason knew that they were unlike any ordinary couple. He knew that since day one when they were at war. Together they were so different form others, no one would even expect their relationship to work. He was the cook and she wast the fighter? You tell that to someone and when they took a glance at the two of them, it was far from believable. But she wanted to marry him for his cooking, so he didnt mind that at all. For him, he didnt want to depend on his parents anymore. He didnt want to depend on anyone. All he wanted was to be alone ever since Charrie left. No one needed to talk to him or come near him. Even living with Prim was hard enough. She did take him to many bars to cheer him up. Now that he thought about it....she was only making things worse for him. He couldnt believe that she would be so selfish. She was ruining everyone else's lives just because she wasnt happy herself.
When Charrie said she was his damsel in distress, he chuckled and kissed her cheek "I dont mind. I was always scared of you beating me up ever since high school. That's why when I made a plan or tricked you on something, I usually ran away. It's nice to have some protection now" he smiled but that smile faded when she said she was rich and she could simply afford her own cook. His eyes glanced down a little as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Aww, I was looking forward to the marriage" he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her onto his lap as he thought of what she could do. "Well you were majoring in film. You can try to make a movie or you can maybe teach a martial arts class?" he wondered, unsure if she was good with kids or not.
But when he mentioned the beach, he watched her pull away slightly. "What's wrong?" he looked worried. WHy was she afraid of the beach. He was unsure of what she was trying to say. Dressing like it was cold? WHy would she do that? BUt as she revealed her cute, his eyes widened to see her arms covered in them. Why in the world was she hurting herself. Did this have something to do with what Prim was saying? Or was it because she couldnt come home to see him?
"Charrie? WHy in the world...." he began to say. But then he thought of himself. He was killing himself with alcohol. She did the same thing, but in a more physical way. ANd both were considerably addicting. "Charrie. Dont do this anymore. You cant hurt yourself. You didnt do anything wrong. It hurts me to see you like this" he frowned and held her arm in his hands. Taking in a deep breath, he pressed his lips to her healing wounds. "I dont want you to ever punish yourself" he sighed softly. "Maybe we can just stay here. Watch a movie on the couch or something. I dont want to tire you out. Plus you just got off the plane. YOu should rest more"
The way he made it sound seemed as if their roles were supposed to be switched. The woman would cook and the man would go out. Not in her life. She liked to have the upper hand and get out of there. It was still amusing though. She was used to Heath having to save her ass and being the damsel in distress-which she hated. She wasn’t that type of girl but end up being it because Heath happened to be so much more skilled than her.
“Yup, you’re my damsel in distress now,” She joked. She had been noticing that he held her so close like he was afraid of losing her. They weren’t this close back three years ago. Did being apart for so long make them a lot closer? It seemed like it. She didn’t mind it. She liked his hands being there but it also gave her memories of that night when they slept with each other. They moved pretty fast within those days to make up for the years they had war.
“You’re right. I’m rich and could hire a cook. I take back what I said about marrying you. Speaking of money... I should start thinking about what I’m going to do.” She mostly thought to herself. She had no idea. She’ll figure it out eventually. She always came up with something. There wasn’t much limit considering her parents were rich and money did a lot of things. She didn’t just want to live out of her parent’s money though. She wasn’t that spoiled. She shouldn’t have take Prim’s words to heart at all. Listening her was just giving Prim the satisfaction. She was just glad she was going to be gone, for now. It seemed the girl always found her way to annoy them.
She leaned into Mason knowing he was right. She wasn’t worth it. She wasn’t even worth a single breath, yet she let it out like it mattered so much about Prim’s thought. To think that she’d be grateful for Charrie helping her out so much in life. Being near Mason, felt like she was being protected but it was funny because she was the fighter. She liked the idea of being somewhere together but then he mentioned about the beach. She pulled herself away from him slightly and was unsure to say it.
“Mase, I can’t go to the beach if it’s heading out into the water and it would look weird if I dressed like it’s cold,” She slowly dragged her words. She really didn’t want to mention it but she was pretty sure she already knew everything that was going on with him, it was only fair. She rolled up her sleeves to reveal bunch of cuts. It made her sick to see them.
“It’s healing up but I can’t go out like this. I don’t really do it anymore or at least not that it’s deep as the others. Until these ugly things I did, go away I can’t go. It’s embarrassing.” She bit her bottom lip feeling her stomach sink in. She wondered what he thought. It was so wrong for her to do this to herself. She harmed herself like he did with alcohol. Heath only knew beforehand and she couldn’t think if her parents knew. They’d sent her straight to therapy and rehab. She really didn’t like the idea.
Mason had a huge grin on his face the entire time she ate. He was just so thankful that someone like her could appreciate his work. It may have involved his work a few times, but he would never exchange hydrochloric acid for water, or anything like that. That would be bad. He made sure to keep his chemicals buried into the back lab behind his closet. He had to be washed off and cleaned before he could leave the lab. That way, his chemicals wouldnt get anywhere else. And that way, he wouldnt accidentally kill someone with extreme poison.
"Marry me? Well I dont see why not. I mean, I can cook and in return you can protect my life. That would be a great team you know. My food could keep your strength up and if we're ever in danger, you could always protect us" he smiled and kept his arm around her waist. It was sort of like a habit for him now. He didnt ever want to lose Charrie again, so his arm was always wrapped around her waist. He didnt think about it consciously, but it did occur to him a few times that he kept doing it. Either way, it was a boyfriendish thing to do and he was proud to call someone like her, his girlfriend.
Mason knew her pretty well at least the old her. SHe spoke her mind without hesitation. He always got the sentence 'I hate you' so if she said his food was good, then that meant that it was to her. And that put a smile on his face because she even wanted to marry him for it. "But it also doesnt matter too darling. You're rich. If you wanted you could hire a cook? I just didnt want anyone around me. Only Dale" he shrugged and looked up at Prim.
He hated this girl so much. WHy couldnt she just leave he two of them alone. THey had done nothing but made her happy those few years back. And all she did was ruin their lives. "Prim! We havent done anything to you. We only tred to make your life happy. WHy the hell are you ruining our lives! Just get the hell out of here!" he said angrily. He knew that both he and Charrie were suffering inside from their problems. He didnt need someone blurting it out to them. THey knew what they did and they were regretting it. They didnt need her rubbing it into their faces.
But it was too late. Charrie began blowing up in her face and he felt like she deserved more. Charrie didnt need to go all the way. She just needed to get what she wanted to say out. "Hey. Shh, its okay. She's not worth it. SHe's not worth shit. I dont even know why I dated her those years ago" he frowned and pecked another kiss on her cheek. "Come on Char, let's go somewhere just the two of us. Maybe to the beach? Somewhere relaxing and peaceful. I think we both need some time off and together"
All posts are either in parody or to be taken as literature. This is a roleplay site. Sexual content is forbidden.