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Who knew she’d be sleeping with him in a hideout in the wilderness. If couples were getting away to do something, they’d got to a hotel or random public areas. This was different and much better. There weren’t city noises bothering them. It was purely the sound of nature. It felt like a dream, something out of a book or movie. It was a real moment that she won’t ever forget. No matter happened; she’d never be able to let him go. Waking up to him besides her smiling, she wished something like this could happen every day. She kissed him softly back and he pulled her so close. She was slightly afraid of losing each other again. If she had to leave again after this memory, she wouldn’t able to handle it. She had enough of the depression. His words made her sure that it couldn’t happen. His hands ran through her hair, hearing him whisper he loved her. It was perfect. It was a fairy tale. She never wanted this moment to end and then-here came Mason panicking. She didn’t want that to end either.
She was forced to hide a smile of amusement at his wide eyes. He froze up. She couldn’t blame him. If she thought she would be prego, she would freeze in spot and go insane and then... Oh god, there really was a chance. They really did have sex, and they went full on last night. She was pretty sure they taught her in health class that if a person did have intercourse-there was a chance. Hell if she did, it would be seriously bad. A kid in the middle of their issues would be so crazy bad that it was just not possible. Her dad would murder Mason. And that was a statement. It wasn’t too funny anymore but it couldn’t happen, right? Nah... As much as the world hate her, they wouldn’t do that to her. Meanwhile, she’ll just watch Mason freak out.
“Hmm, good thing I kicked you in the balls a good enough strength then,” She frowned. That would stop it. She wasn’t sure if it was a good thing he was making these medicine and pills up on his own. What if he by accident made a mistake and it killed her? What was she? An experiment? She relaxed her thoughts knowing that he was smart; he knew his stuff and wouldn’t make a mistake. He rushed out in panic. That pill probably would fix the problem if there ever was one but she’ll still go through with the prank. Watching him panic knows made her smile. Once she was make sure he couldn’t hear. She just laughed and sat up. She got out of bed and then just put on her long hoodie on and lay back on the bed, resting her head against edge. He came back and looked up at him and decided to be safe and take it.
“It’s fine Mase. I forgot too. Calm down, if anything happens it would be my fault too. And I won’t kill you but my dad will if he ever found out,” She honestly said. It was funny. As long as it still remained untrue. She’d go insane if it weren’t. She got up from the bed and then hugged him.
“If I didn’t get it last time, than I won’t this time. So, don’t worry too much,” She comforted. Then he’ll be really hit when she takes this to another level in a good amount of weeks. She’ll buy a pregnancy tester and then change it into positive and put it somewhere where he could see. It would be funny and then she’ll tell him the truth. She took a back step hiding her hands into the hoodie long sleeves.
“So, can we please have breakfast now?” She asked smiling.
It was such a calm morning. The sun was seeping through the windows of the tree house and shining down on their naked skin. It was quiet, peaceful. Only the sound of chirping birds around. No one knew of this place. It was deep in the forest, there wasnt even a trail. Mason had put in a tracking device in the tree house so he'd never lose it. Only Dale was away of it's whereabouts. He just hoped that no one did anything to him. Heath knew that Mason always gave Charrie a ride in Dale's car. Hopefully he didnt harm the man. But either way, Dale wouldnt tell a soul, even if his life depended on it.
His eyes just calmly watched hers as her and touched his cheek. He closed his eyes and smiled as he leaned forward, kissing her lips softly. His arms wrapped around her, wanting to feel her warmth, to still be beside her. It was as if he didnt want her to go. Ever. "I promise. I wont let them take you away from me. No one knows of this place. We're safe here" he told her, running his fingers down her beautiful red hair gently. "I love you too Char. So much" he whispered softly, brushing his lips against her cheek before he heard her speak.
WHen she mentioned no protection, his eyes widened and then he froze suddenly. "I-I....I forgot! W-We need to get you a contraceptive....I know how to make one...but then again the chances are low. They're even lower since you kicked me in the balls...but still. I need to make one. Y-You stay here. I need to make a pill just in case!" he turned onto his side, slipping on his boxers before going a little crazy. He couldnt of gotten her pregnant. That would be bad, especially if they were in a state like this.
Mason was hurrying around the tree house, he pranced around to his lab, quickly using his chemicals to make a contraceptive. It wasnt too late to take it. It was prescribed to be taken the morning after anyways. THey could make it on time if she was. Once he finished making the pill, he rushed over with a glass of water. "Here Char, drink this....Im so sorry. Last night was so sudden...I forgot....but this should work. Dont kill me" he mumbled softly.
As soon as he promised he would, she gave her brain the okay. Even if he didn’t, she’d find a way to encourage him. He would because he knew he had to get healthy and not do it for her but for himself. If everything were going to be fixed than it should be fine to do this now. He found herself being shut up by his kiss. It was much different than last time. Last time they were in her room, blasting up the movie volume so that Heath couldn’t here. They had to bother to lock up the doors and made sure no one could come in. There was no need to worry about it now. When they were tired enough that they couldn’t do more she felt as if her life was fulfilled. Of course it wasn’t yet. They had to get better, they had to know each other to the core and continue their life. She didn’t regret it. She won’t regret it, not unless... Shit, no protection. I better not get... She thought to herself. Chances of that were low. Although, it did give her an idea to prank Mason later on. A small one that would be nothing harmful and amusing.
Her eyes fluttered open again when his arm went around her. She gazes up at him not making a sound and then he gazed down at her. She smiled a little as he spoke “Morning.” This actually happened. Last night wasn’t a dream and they didn’t have to separate after this unlike last time. She couldn’t bear to be separated by him. She brushed her hand on his cheek and then his arm.
“I don’t want us to separate like last time again,” She mentioned “Last time, the next day after we slept with each other, we were pulled apart.” He seemed so happy. He seemed the most happiest when they slept with each other. She knew it wasn’t for the pervert reasons he’d have when they were at war. It was different. She opened her mouth going to say she was sort of hungry. But he spoke out first and she just smiled.
“Good, I was just going to mention that,” She laughed and watched him grin. Today couldn’t possibly go wrong. She just couldn’t possibly be in a bad mood today. Not after this. If something ruined this day, she’ll goes insane. If somebody interrupts, she’ll show them exactly how her skills improved.
“I love you, Mase,” She declared. Then wanted to scare him a little... She wanted to see his reaction.
“We went pretty far last night, with no protection. You better hope nothing comes from this,” She forewarned of her future prank. She always wanted to get her boyfriends scared to death that she was going to be prego. It just really hit her that he was her boyfriend. She always wanted to pull something like this. To see their reaction... It would be funny-unless it was real. Then it was not funny at all.
“We can stay here all day if we want. No one is going to bother us,” She reminded. That was a great feeling. Not being bothered. She had to eventually change though. At least put one article of clothing because she couldn’t stay in bed all day.
Mason had been such a loner the past three years. It really changed him into the mature male he was today. Sure he didnt have many friends, but he was able to live on his own for three years. His parents still sent him an allowance, but when he became an alcoholic, his mother stopped giving him money. It wasnt until he was able to live without his parents money did he figure out that it took hard work to get what he wanted. So through those months he had to keep searching for a job, but when he finally landed one, he was able to appreciate hardwork and what money could buy. So he wasnt as spoiled as Charrie, but he now had to work for his money. Fortunately for him, his job had a very high salary. SO he was slowly getting to that spoiled part again.
Charrie was very demanding, but he was sure that she wouldnt yell or hurt him if he didnt get her what she wanted. Besides the food or helping her up, that took a little effort like screaming his name, or saying please. But if it was something material that she wanted, Mason would usually just grab it for her. He was usually happy when she was, so if he bought her something she wanted, she would be happy and then he would be one happy boyfriend as well.
This makeout session led to something so much more. Not only were the both of them happy, they were back to normal, their minds only focused on each other, just like it should be. WHen they loved each other like this, no problems mattered. Alcohol was definitely something Mason didnt care for at this moment. When she begged him to sleep with her, he didnt care how fast they were going. Three years was long enough and he was going to make sure that nothing got in their way. He was going to love her like he wanted.
As he laid over her on the bed, he nodded his head "Ill work out Char. I promise. Just....shhh" he pressed his lips back against hers, shutting her up so he could just help her out of all of her clothes. It was perfect. It was so much better than their first time. It was so sexy, intense, and rough. There were no distractions at all. No one to stop them, no loud sounds of a comedy in the background, just him loving her. After catching his breath, he laid beside her, tangled with her beneath the sheets. He managed to fall asleep within a matter of seconds, being so exhausted, but completely satisfied. Only Charrie could ever make him feel so loved and happy.
In the morning, Mason was feeling so relaxed. His eyes opened and he just felt Charrie beside him, snuggling. It was like everything was perfect, even for just a moment. His arm draped over and around her bare back as he held her close. No interruptions, no jumping out of buildings. He could relax here with her safely. "Morning my love" he glanced down at her, seeing how beautiful she looked beside him. She was all for him and that just put a smile on his lips. "Dont worry. You dont have to demand anything. Ill make you breakfast as soon as I stop feeling so good!" he sighed in happiness as he grinned.
Being treated like a spoiled brat by Heath for the first year really got her thinking she was one and started attacking like one. She was so demanding. She had to have everything she wanted or she’d loose her temper. Her personality shifted so much during those three years and it started to fade into someone a lot brighter than before. That little demanding side of her wasn’t gone; it was always there with her but Mason didn’t deserve it. He didn’t have to do what she said, even though she’d probably just glare. It was lucky for her Mason wasn’t demanding like her. She didn’t like that about her. She would change it.
They really one of those couples who got into a huge fought and started to make out... She didn’t want to be one of those typical couples but they weren’t typical. They were more special than that. It wasn’t a hate and love relationship. She didn’t hate him. It just they happened to fight. She loved it that he played right back. Each touch would send electricity through her, made her heart beat so fast and loud that she was afraid that he could hear it. She wasn’t thinking about anything else but being so close. It got rid of her depressive thoughts and cutting. Nothing mattered but the two of them. She was being careless doing this. She knew it. They were moving too fast again, and they shouldn’t being doing this while they still have problems. But right now, that didn’t even matter. She wanted him, that’s it. It didn’t seem like he was going to stop this. She didn’t expect him.
“Okay, then please sleep with me,” She spoke between the break. Her shirt came off and she knew that once that was done, there was no going back. It was going to happen and they wouldn’t be able to stop themselves. She made a promise to only sleep with him if he got at top health state too. It was too bad. She was just as weak as him when it came down to this. Mason did have some strength at least. He wasn’t weak as a child. Then she dropped on the bed and that’s when the fun started.
“You still have to work out...” She reminded him. She couldn’t believe she was going to let this happen all over again but just like the last night they did this, she wouldn’t regret it. It would be impossible for her to regret it. She helped him take of his pants. Then all the clothes came off. It got passionate, rough, better than the last time. She fell asleep eventually, comfortably lying near him, feeling his body heat and breathe. This was something she felt comfortable doing with him. She wouldn’t be able to do it with anyone else.
She woke up in the morning tangled in the bed sheets. She stared at him right beside her for a couple of minutes before just snuggling close to him. She would fall asleep for just a little longer. Then they’d have to get up, or not. No one could bother them here. Not like when her father came unexpectedly to talk to her. Last time, Mason sprained his ankle and then they had to split... At least they didn’t have to split now. They would never find them here.
Mason meant every word he said. He would try and behave like a good boyfriend would. Yes he doubted her before but that was because she couldnt tell him what she and Heath did together. THen he doubted her again because when he spoke to Heath, he just made it sound even worse. And the fact that he said he liked her, really made him so angry and jealous. He was selfish when it came to Charrie, he wanted her only for himself. And he still believed that she belonged to him since their mother's stories. But when she spoke about Heath today, that's when he lost it. The doubt was flying everywhere, but she also told him that it was nothing. That she wasnt going to do anything. And when she said that to him today, he knew she was doing her best and he believed her.
But he was also glad she realized that she was ordering him around like some puppy dog, which he didnt mind if she would say please and thank you more often and not demand. "Good, that way I dont feel like I have to do it. Instead, I know Im doing it for you which makes me happy" he smiled and kissed her lips.
He couldnt believe they were kissing and making out right now. It didnt seem like they were fighting to the point of breaking up just a few moments ago. They looked like a couple that had been in love and only in love. Like a couple that never fought. Her kisses were so inviting, so warm like a blanket against his lips. They were so soft as he felt them travel down the skin of his neck. Leaning his head back, he could feel the attraction for her, he could feel his heart racing against his chest, the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. He loved this girl so much and when they were like this, he couldnt care about anything else in the world right now, which was a good thing for both of them.
His lips traced hers as his tongue swept in and danced with hers. He could feel her hot breath against his skin and he was just feeling so many chills, so many exciting feelings. He just couldnt stop either. This was why he was chasing after her for three years. For this feeling. This amazing love that was only with her. His hands ran down her sides and then he felt her pulling his shirt off. "Mmm, I-I want to take....it....slow, but....I miss this Charrie" he whispered against her lips, unable to control himself. It's been three years since they last did this. He wanted her to know that he loved her no matter what. If she nearly slept with Heath, if she was cutting herself, if she killed people, he still loved her. His hands slowly lifted, pulling off her shirt as well, soon using his strength to lift her up into his arms, making his way towards the bedroom. He was too weak to stop himself. They both knew what this felt like and thy both needed it after three years apart.
“I really hope you meant that this time,” She replied. She didn’t know how much she could take of him keep doubting her. Unlike last time, the way he sounded made it believe him. There was only a very tiny percent that she didn’t believe that he meant it. It was still going to be there but just not as much. At least she hoped. Please let it stay in this state. Just so they could enjoy each other and not feel so miserable. She didn’t want to wake up next morning to fight again because that was just one of the worst things that could happen. It was worse than her cutting. If they solved each other’s problems maybe their issues would die off too. They reason they both gained issues were because of the separation of three years.
“No, I should. I shouldn’t have ordered you around. I’m used to doing that when I’m sick and I have bipolar reactions. It’s okay... You meant nothing by it. I did say thank you...at times,” She strolled and then remembered she didn’t say please, she just demanded “Okay, I’ll say please. I promise.” She loved it when they were in touch with each other or when he was so close. Long ago she’d hate it, she’d claim he was a pervert, now she just enjoyed cuddling and being in contact.
As she kissed him, he kissed her back making her feel those feelings of her favourite night. He was always such a good kisser and just knew the right places. That’s not what her mind was mainly focused off. She just wanted to make things up to him and make him know she really loved him and would be with him through thick and thin. It didn’t matter what trouble he got into, what mistakes, his strength or appearance. She never understood that feeling until she really felt like she loved him. His arm pulled them even closer. She could feel the hot heat between them. It was growing hotter and hotter. The more they kissed the deeper she was sunk in into him. Her kisses trailed down his collarbone to his neck. Even though she didn’t need more she still went on. She shouldn’t be going farther. Her mind was telling her to stop before it got far. They were supposed to take it slow. But her heart and body thought otherwise. Stop Charrie... Her mind suggested. When she heard that with Heath, she instantly pulled away in shock. Now, she was starting to ignore it. It was up to Mason to pull her away. Her hands went under his shirt, starting to take it off for him.
“Mase, you should stop me before this goes far,” She whispered into his ear before planting anther kiss. It was up to him. She couldn’t help it. Which was odd because it was usually the other way around. After spending three years apart, fighting and yelling at each other, guess it ran into this.
The fact that she cleared up the air made Mason feel so much better. He thought she trying to tell him those things about Heath on purpose. To make him feel bad, and that he was nothing compared to him. But she took so much time, she kept repeating the fact that Heath was nothing compered to him. That she wouldnt go with him even if she wasnt with Mason. That part really had him sold. Still, it made him feel much more relieved to know that she was just saying it to prove he didnt trust her. Mason trusted her now. The two had fought over Heath so many times already. Heath didnt deserve all that attention. Their focused needed to be on each other, and not the past, or what could have been, but now. Right now Charrie loved him and he wanted to love her for as long as he could.
"It's okay Char. I understand. I trust you. I really do. I know now that you wont leave me. Im glad you wont" he felt his emotions slowly building. All the nervousness, the hate, the anger that was bringing him down so much was slowly lifting up and out of him. Its what usually happened when he fought with Charrie. They fought hard to the point of hurting each other so much, but at night, the fight would end and they would just snuggle up to each other like a normal couple would. He wanted that end part to last. He wished that they didnt need to fight to get there.
"Dont worry about treating me like that. I didnt know what you are like when you are sick. But now I know and Im sorry if I was grumpy. You're sick and I should be taking care of you without questions asked. Maybe a little please and thank you wouldnt hurt?" he nuzzled his nose into her neck, burying his face into her as he sighed. They were finally over the hard part, and right now meant they were going to make up and hopefully this time be happy so they could fix their problems.
"Thanks Char. I want to be happy with you too" he felt her hand stroke his cheek and her lips followed. He gazed down at her and leaned in, kissing her back with so much passion and tenderness. The fights brought them closer together. They learned something new each time. And the closer he was to Charrie, the less afraid he was of Heath. He trusted her more and he knew she wouldnt just leave him. He could feel it in her kiss and her touch. She loved him as much as he loved her. His arms slowly wrapped around her waist as he occupied her lips, held her close to his chest. Right now they needed this. To feel the love spread from head to toe, to get those harmful thoughts out of their minds. When they were in love like this, the last thing he thought about was alcohol, he had what he needed.
“I didn’t mean to actually go to him. I wouldn’t go to him. I brought him up because it upset me,” She admitted. She didn’t want to lower his confidence or give doubt. It got on her nerves that there was doubt in her. Doubting that she’d just go running to him really made her feel like a cheating bitch. She didn’t see it as cheating because she never had the intention to and when she got that close to him, she stopped it right away. She felt bad for the state they were in. Neither of them was right or wrong.
“No it isn’t clear! Stop believing I want to go to him. I don’t. I only said those things just to prove how much you didn’t trust me. Because if you trusted me, you wouldn’t believe what I just told you about going to him. There’s no competition between the two of you,” She managed the words out and barely could say the rest “I don’t want to leave you. I want you to know that I never will. “He finally opened his eyes and she was glad that he wasn’t so upset that she told him the truth. It felt like the right thing to do. She didn’t like to hear how unconfident he was about them. Normally, you should break a relationship like this especially if they’re both screwed up with issues. But she just couldn’t.
“I didn’t mean to treat you like. When I’m sick I’m more demanding than ever and I’m sorry I make you seem weak. I blurt things out of anger. You’re not pathetic and you’re not a jerk. I didn’t mean it. He moved right beside her and she leaned more into him. Was this going to happen again? Making up then fighting, making up and then fighting... Couldn’t they just make up and leave it like that?
“Okay... I won’t. I won’t mention him,” She promised. It seemed every time he was mentioned things started but she was afraid that he’ll still feel like Heath was ahead. Here came the time where they stood so close to each other. The better feeling of ending a fight, yet it still ached. It made her want to get closer to him, even though they just fought. She knew how most relationships like this ended up. They usually broke apart. She didn’t want to break apart, ever. She wanted to with him as long as she could. She moved slightly and touched his cheek with her right hand.
“I really hope we fix this because I want to be happy with you,” She stated and leaned him to kiss him deeply. The longing for him was so huge. It wasn’t a lustful way either, just wanting him to love her and her to love him and just be together. If things could go right, then that’s all she’ll ever ask for. Now that the fight died, her muscles started to loosen and her headache was starting to die off. They were both in tears and in a mess. She didn’t want to get help though. She wanted to fix things up on her own.
Not only was the world crashing and burning the two of them alive, they were all the other had, and they put everything they could into their relationship. Was it always right, no. BUt the two of them always tried to work it out, even if it led to more fighting. THe other just had to be right and when they spoke, the other was hurt even more. Everything they did to each other wasnt helping their relationship. They had some good moments, but overall, it was the yelling and the screaming and the anger that took a large portion of their relationship and it was obvious the two were tired of it all. Maybe Heath was right, they just needed to separate for a while. He would go into rehab and she would go into therapy. Maybe that would be a much better plan than always fighting each other.
"Well how can I not say he's better. You just had a whole speech about how he appreciates you way more than I do. That Im just some jerk. How can I gain any confidence when the girl I love is telling me that Im a jerk and how Heath never made her feel terrible about herself. It's pretty degrading....no matter how much confidence you have. And you were the one that said you should just go to him....Maybe we shouldnt talk about him at all. You brought him up" he spoke weakly. THe sound of his voice was muffled by his face in the couch, but loud enough for her to hear. "I just said you could go, because it was pretty clear that you wanted to go back to Heath just a moment ago. I wont leave your side unless you want me to, or if you want to leave me..." he told her. How could he. His whole life he had been attached to Charrie. It took years of being together. It wasnt just going to take a second for him to leave her.
He shifted to turn and face her, regaining his composure as he opened his eyes. "No. Im glad you told me. Our relationship on its own is hanging by a thread. Lies would make it worse. I didnt mean to make you feel like shit. I just felt like the other guy. The guy you treated like a slave, the one who is a weak, pathetic jerk. I was just hurt because of everything you said about Heath. THat's all" he rubbed his irritated eyes and he sank down to the floor beside her, his head facing the ground. "I dont want to fight you either. You're the only person I have left. And you mean everything to me despite what you're feeling. All I know is that if we know that we love each other, then we shouldnt have a problem. If I mean everything to you, can you just never mention Heath. I know you love me....I just dont want to hear his name" he asked her, leaning his head on her shoulder hesitantly. THe fighting was getting them nowhere. It wasnt helping their problems at all. Only they could make the other feel at their best and it was time to do that.
All hell broke loose. During the day they fought near the nights they made up. How long was this going to keep going? They were such a mess that they couldn’t stop letting out angry, jealousy, or any other emotion toward each other. They were screwed up. Two screwed up people living by each other and either fixing or feeding into their emotions. It was a fight back and forth to how this could end up. It could end up terribly or it could end up great. He wasn’t going to leave but she didn’t like that he had put so much up with her. Yes, he did help her many times and was trying but sometimes, sometimes she just lost it. It wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t going to turn normal after those many years. She just wanted them to stop fighting, yelling and feeling these negative emotions. But she kept on forgetting she didn’t want to fight and let her emotion out anyway.
“Well, you should have said that you needed a few more minutes,” She declared. The more he talked the more he was right but she still felt upset that he was so grumpy from it. She shouldn’t expect him to be happy the fact he had to do all of these stuff but she did anyway. Charrie was really just thinking of herself for a couple of minutes, being selfish. She was so used to being treated like a queen when she was sick and expected exactly that. It was wrong. She didn’t know what overcame her, it just all came out. Maybe it was the time of the month...but it could just be because she was sick. He was trying and was doing well but she just failed to notice. Handling her wasn’t easy, she knew that.
“See, you’re doing it again! Saying that Heath is better than you! God damn it Mason, get some fucking confidence! Stop comparing yourself to him! You’re not him! You are never going to be him and you’re never going to be like him. He can’t be you either! You’re the one that keeps pointing out he’s better and I might go to him! I kept on telling you that he’s not for me! And yea I kind of do being around with you right now. You’re being a hypocrite, I told you to leave and you said ‘no I can’t’ and then tell me to go? The fuck? Come on, even if you did find me, than what? Would it fix things? You’d be in danger and drag us down to find the people after me. Oh yea, sorry I tried so hard to come back here, and told you the truth. I could have not just told you at all about Heath and left you in the dark!” She yelled right back. She couldn’t do this. There was just too much anger and they were so both miserable.
“Oh my god! You asked me what happened, and I didn’t lie to you. I really should have just kept my mouth shut about him. Sorry I made you feel pathetic but it’s not like you don’t make me feel like utter shit. And stop telling me to go back to Heath or thinking I would! And fuck you! I didn’t do everything just to hear that you think you meant nothing to me. Because you meant everything...” She finished and cried. She just cried and cried until she couldn’t cry anymore. They were fighting, again. They were both upset and they couldn’t help each other because they were the cause. He went into the couch. She could barely breathe.
“Why do we keep doing this...? I don’t want to fight,” She muttered weakly “I hate fighting with you.” She crawled near him and just sat there. She didn’t know how to fix it. Was there even a fix?
Mason simply sat on the other edge of the couch, mentally trying to fight his little battle with alcohol. He knew he could do it. He just needed, much more practice and control over this. He had been doing so great if it wasnt for the tv. He wrapped his arms around his knees and he buried his face into them. He took a few deep breaths and he just tried to think of something else. The need for alcohol could be blocked with...with.....Charrie. Anything Charrie did to him intimately or physically could get him to stop thinking about it even if it was just for an hour. He didnt want to feel this way all thanks to a damn commercial. At first he tried thinking about the day he slept with her, and then when he heard her speaking, that got it going. Not only did he forget about alcohol, he was upset.
"Im not going to just get up and leave! You think it's easy to just stop loving you. Even after what you did, it hurts alot yes. But I cant just leave so suddenly. Im not leaving. I dont want to. Im going to put up with this all until we're better here" he knew she'd been through so much and he knew he wasnt helping her that much, but seriously. He tried his best to help her. Make her food, give her medicine. He just couldnt make everything else right! He made her feel worse because he blurted out how he felt and now she just felt like shit. Ever since he woke up it was nothing but a big mess. "Look! Im sorry okay. I didnt mean to be grumpy. You know how I am in the mornings when I dont get enough sleep! I just needed a few more minutes....some time to wake up. Instead Im forced to get this and that, I need to make breakfast all of a sudden. I was still half asleep. You're not a bother, I just need to get used to all of this. Like you said, you never allowed me to see when you're sick. How was I supposed to know it was going to be like this! Im managing okay. Im doing the best I can here!" he was wondering why in the world she was getting so upset for. Shouldnt she be happy he made her breakfast? Made her medicine? Couldnt she see he was trying. That he wanted to help her out when she was sick. Yes he was a little grumpy, but he didnt just leave her there and not help her. He was proving he could handle her when she was sick.
He was already starting to feel terrible for upsetting her even more, but now he just hit rock bottom when she started poking at his insecurities. "Okay! I get it! Ya Heath is better than me! I already know that. He loves you, he makes you so happy, and he just doesnt upset you the way I do. If you really hate being around me than just go back to him. He's shown you more love than I have right? I dont need you to make me feel bad either! I know what's wrong with me. WHy I dont compare to him. Stop pointing it out! I should be grateful right! I should feel so privileged that you came all the way back here for me. Well if I knew where the fuck you were I would of came in a heartbeat. Not in three years when everything was screwed up! And Im sorry if I dont show it, but I am very thankful you love me. Im feeling soooo loved right now! Ever since you came back I've been feeling overjoyed with so much love" he said sarcastically knowing that she had an odd way of showing love. He felt so little, barely even at all. "What have you done for me besides come back and expose the truth? Im glad you're beside me, I just wish you could do more than make me feel so fucking pathetic! If you think I dont appreciate you, then go back to Heath since he does more than I do. Obviously everything I did for you when you came back here wasnt appreciating you. Not one bit. Im just a jerk that is insecure and has alcoholic problems. I dont mean much to you at all do I?" his voice died down realizing everything between them. She had really opened his eyes to see that Heath has down an overall better job than he's been doing. She made him feel worse about the situation with her and Heath, just when he was getting over it.
He felt like a terrible person. Charrie's plan worked. SHe pinpointed his biggest fear and now he broke down. No wonder everyone left him. He didnt deserve Charrie, or his friends. Apparently he did nothing right and was just a weakling that couldnt amount to anything. And Charrie made it quite clear that Heath was a much better person that appreciated her for all her worth. Well duh he tried to sleep with her. Now he truly felt alone. No one was there anymore. He rubbed the tears he tried to hide from his face, what was the point? Everyone knew he was weak. He didnt know what to do anymore. THe only plus was that he wasnt thinking about alcohol anymore, but he was thinking about everything else. Taking in a deep breath, he didnt want to move. He turned to face the back of the couch, lying on his side as he buried his face into the cushions, not moving an inch. THe world could move on around him, he didnt have the strength anymore to fight back. All of the directions were telling him to just give it up now. There was nothing left to hold onto.
“Yea I know I shouldn’t... I’m sorry, Everyone wants payback on me and they don’t really have to worry because they’re already getting it by my depression and cutting. You know Mase; you can leave me if you want. It’s getting payback for what I did. You don’t have to stay even if I want you to. I’m scared that you’ll go but it’s only fair. I’m not ever going to Heath even if you do leave me... You’re not the only one that’s upset of what I did. It’s hard to do everything I did and then watch the people suffer because of me. I guess it makes me human and not cold hearted because I do care. I got so lonely and lost my mind. Not to mention all the shooting, death and threatening plus trying so hard to come back but end up finding nothing... Something in me snapped that day... I didn’t mean to, I had no intention but it did happen. So... You can go. I know you love me but you can still go, I deserve it after all,” She weakly spoke and just let tears run down her eyes. She closed her eyes and then released him. She was feeling better in matter of feeling sick but not everything else. She shouldn’t lean on him, not after that. She moved farther into the couch and rested her head on her knees and stared at the TV.
Always causing problems... This seemed to go back and forth. They switched their moods into being so happy into being so miserable. She was putting so much on him and she just expected him to just leave her or kick her out. He seemed really upset doing what she said. She was just about to lose her temper. She knew this was all her fault but she really didn’t need this right now. She gave him the channel and she got more frustrated. His eyes were on the TV and he seemed to be bothered by her. She felt like shit. Then he started ream about getting himself drunk.
“Stop right there. You’re not! I know you’re mad at me Mase but that doesn’t mean you have to be so grumpy! If I’m such a fucking bother than just leave me the fuck alone! If you can’t handle me when I’m sick than we really shouldn’t be together. And you know what; while I’m yelling, let’s talk about your fucking insecurities. I should go to Heath! He doesn’t complain when I’m sick! He doesn’t fucking remind me it’s all my goddamn fault that I broke his heart that I got so close to him and told him that it was nothing and I saw him as you! He’s tormented just as much as you but he doesn’t make me feel like I don’t deserve him. And yea, I don’t deserve you or him, I know that but he doesn’t imply it. If you’re not thankful that I love you and still so into thinking I was so goddamn happy in with Heath in Paradise and probably go back to him, than I should just fucking be with him. And if it weren’t for me, we would have never met each other again. If I didn’t try to get back than I wouldn’t have been cutting, just depressed! What did you do here? Not much. You just drowned yourself in your depression and look for me when it was pointless. So I’m so fucking sorry for going through so much and snapping and almost sleeping with him. At least he appreciates me, jerk!.” She let lose so much anger. Her head was pounding again and she burst into tears. She had another moment where she just snapped.
She wanted be somewhere, anywhere just as long as it was a complete new place where no one knew her. Where no one knows what she did and who she was. Just leave everything behind and also get rid of these emotions. She got up and took a couple of steps before almost falling to the ground. She just sat there and sat there not knowing what to do. She couldn’t call anyone. Heath told her parents, and she couldn’t face him for doing that and couldn’t face her parents for knowing. The whole world was against her and she may deserve it but she was just so tired of being upset. She was letting so much out right now and it was probably because she couldn’t think with being sick and having an unclear mind.
Mason made it back to the couch with the tray of food. He managed to feed her until she was able to do it on her own. At first he felt really irritated, but he couldnt do a thing about it. He loved Charrie. But it was times like this that he hated the most. Times like this where he would be completely ignored and only seen as a slave. But as she spoke, he sighed and rubbed his fingers against his temples. Not only was she so stupid to be sitting out in the rain. He knew that he was the cause of this. He was angry with her for giving Heath everything. She just willingly gave herself to him. How could she? That made him so angry that he just had to leave her there. This was sort of like a punishment for her. He didnt like her suffering, but she should know better to sit in the rain or to just expose herself to Heath. "You know you shouldnt do that. Dont get yourself sick again. You're suffering. And Im suffering along with you" he sighed, hating to just be a personal assistant.
"Dont thank me and then just ask me to do something else. Just tell me it all now so I can rest" he reached over and grabbed the remote, "What channel do you want?" he asked, trying not to sound so irritated, but he was. It was like babysitting a whiny little brat. No wonder he's never seen her being sick before. She usually just disappeared if she was in high school. Thank goodness for that. But now he knew it was bad if she was. He would do the same when he was sick too. Or if he was in the hospital from one of her physical attacks. He would try and surround himself with locked doors so she could never get to him.
WHen he turned on the television, he frowned at her comment. Why did everyone think he was such a weakling. "Shut up. You talk like that to me, you're doing the dishes" he smirked and looked up at the screen. It was an advertisement for beer. His eyes just went straight to the screen and he froze in place. At first it was like he was hypnotized all of the sudden. A bunch of teens ran across the beach having fun, and drinking. He remembered it all too well. He didnt feel too lonely. The buzzing, the times where you'd forget what happened the night before. He was so carefree when he drank and honestly, happier than he's been in a long time. Right now was one of those time. Yes he had Charrie clinging onto him, but he didnt feel too happy at the moment. What he wanted was alcohol. He could feel himself getting excited inside. He reached his hand out to the tv as if he was trying to grab it. BUt when it didnt appear in his hands, he sighed and began to shiver slightly. "Mmm, an ice, cold beer. Soo smooth....down my throat..." he leaned his head against the armrest and just imagined himself being part of that commercial. "Soo...happy....cant have just one!" he grinned and was lost in his daydream.
She held onto the edge of the door and frowned not getting any response. She bit her bottom lip and felt slightly angry but also in the verge of bursting into tears. She hated being sick. Couldn’t she have been injured instead or even something else, anything just not sick! She was normally in a good healthy condition-except for the fact she cut. Then he finally responded and he didn’t sound too happy. Maybe she should have just crawled her way to the living room instead. It seemed like a better idea then messing with someone grumpy and having him mad at her. At least she got help to stand up but he was so weak! What in the world did she see in him again? She was going to die if someone came charging into the place. It was a good thing no one knew about this place and hopefully no one would bump into it and decided to go serial killing or something.
Well, at least she made it to the couch. She sat there, opening and closing her eyes every couple of seconds. She then fell sideways on it and lay down her head. She could lie there all day, do nothing and not even fall asleep. She might as well be dead. The dead do nothing but lay down. She felt bad for people who were sick everyday or even had cancer. She can’t last a couple of hours without becoming so emotional.
“I stood in the rain for hours...” She muttered quietly. The rest he knew it was also because of a little blood loss. He watched him walk away and she just stared at a wall. She was bored but didn’t want to move around either. He was doing something else and she just got lonely. She wanted to turn on the TV but that involved getting up and actually reaching for the remote. She’d just embarrass herself and fall on the ground again. Then she sat up when Mason again, lightly smiling. He brought food. It reminded her of what her parents did. Her mom would cook and her dad practically had to be her slave for the day. She always felt guilty for doing that but her mom normally loved it because it was like having her as a child again. She didn’t like it so much.
“Thank you Mase. I’m sorry I got sick... And can you turn on the TV?” She frowned. She was sorry for herself that she got sick. The feeling of being helpless and weak was unbearable. How did Mason deal with everyday that he’s so weak? Maybe not this weak but still weak. Now, she felt weaker than him and it wasn’t any fun. She didn’t like being weaker than him. Hell, she felt like a toddler who could barely walk and needed attention. She hoped that she would never get sick around him. Even high school when she got sick she made sure to lock her room very well and not let Mason take advantage of her when she was sick. He fed her the first bite. She ate it and then finished everything by herself. Then he called her a little girl. She frowned and narrowed her eyes at him.
“I’m not. And even if I act like this. At least unlike you I’m not a little girl every day,” She retorted. Although, the way she was talking so quietly and the way she talked sounded like a kid. She couldn’t help herself.
“This is why I never wanted you to see me sick,” She mentioned and leaned into him “I’m bored. I don’t like being sick.” She slowly closed her eyes knowing that she wouldn’t fall asleep but it felt comfortable to have him. She gripped on to him really tightly. If he tried to get up, she’d hold him down. She did this all the time to her parents. They got no sleep at all and were more tired than they would be running around the whole country.
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