~_χму вℓєє∂ιиg נσυяиαℓχ_~Replies: 3 / 301 days 1 hours 59 minutes 1 seconds
~This Is a place for me to do my own little entries...~
This is my own little piece of Creativity...
This...Is my bleeding journal..
A place for me to express my feelings... Or to say things I think I cant say out loud... If you are willing... Take a peek..
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I remember...the sky, the day when we first met...I remember the feel of your lips against mines...I even remember the first time I broke out crying on the phone with you. Funny, I remember so much...even though...I forget quite a lot...And..you seem alright with this. Should I worry?, Should I warn you?. I wish I knew, because.. I fear that one day Ill forget your voice, Ill forget you...I fear that day..because I know it will destroy us...it ill kill us both... i fear that it would be more you than I..but...I know... I have to remember...Just so that..I don't lose you...I fear...you'll hate me...Truth is..I fear that my world would come crashing down around me once more.. and I wont be able to be caught... I fear...ill never remember you...and you are alright with this... I wish I knew why... Is it love?, Is it you care?...Is it the fact that it would be hard to let go...?...I wish...i just wish I knew...
~Ode.. To the people whom adore ones same sex...I do not disagree...I agree with you, the will and the sheer feelings that one feels shouldn't be denied. Through thick and thin you will defend your rights, but...Does the world... defend them as well? My answer... No~...What they find odd, out of place or queer may be alright with you, me or anyone else..Why should that stop you?... No one knows... ~
"Land.. Of the Free..."
~ I remember this quote like it was yesterday.. To be honest...I don't feel free..Our laws are fine and dandy.. But... to be "Gay" or "Lesbian" Shouldn't be viewed as a bad omen.. The human mind wanders... Simply as it is...Everyone thinks about it..at least once in their lives.My question... To some who think these questions...who fear the worse that will come from their parents..Or someone close to them..~
Would you..Hate me If I was a male, whom loved other males?... Would you hate me If I was a female, whom loved other females?..Would you throw the book at me..would you preach?, would you disown me? would you pretend that I don't Exist.. Or...Would you still love me..But from a distance?
~I've thought it... And..I was nervous to explain to my mother... When I did...she gave me a look of dishonor.. A look that I will never forget... It burned into my memory. I remember telling my older brother..Whom I look up to... and..He cried... Ill never forget his face.. I wish i could...but i cant.When I told my father...He almost crashed the car and kill us both... Honestly...I felt.. as if..he didn't love me... I felt as if.. none of them..wanted me anymore.. That Night..I cried... I felt as though..God wouldn't help me...I prayed... funny...I prayed..I don't do that often..but that night..i felt like i should... After I did.. I felt like even he/she/it/Or whatnot Didn't care..~
Truth is... When it hits...to become reality...Im scared..at what others might think..Do, say, or believe... I just play It off like i don't care... When I do that..Im lying.. But...Does it matter? If im a Guy liking another guy or a girl liking another girl? It shouldn't...
~ Sticks..and Stones..may break,my bones..But.. Words hurt like knives... Listen to this world.. ~If you don't Like the Lifestyle of being"Gay" or "Lesbian" Don't pay attention to it... Just keep on going.. It shouldn't concern you if it doesn't Involve you... Mind your own Damn business, and Let the ones whom choose this lifestyle be happy.~
Falling from the sky,eyes closed as it feels like ive been falling forever...as if ive never felt gravity at its fullest....And the earth continues to hate me,pulling me down more and more only so my mind is ready to hit the earth,and break into pieces....The truth is...i haven?t been falling like this forever...I remember you, i remember your eyes, the feel of your touch and the smooth rhythm of how your words seemed to captivate me...How your Embrace seemed to make me feel..make me feel so weak at the knees,to the point where id fall into your arms only to be held longer...That was until i found you...I found you with another...and It hurted...for i knew the outcome,My heart pounded as you let my hand go,and my world began to crumble...The further you got the faster i tried to run to catch you...to make you return to me, To beg you to come back, and replenish my life with your waterfall of love...To make sure my jar for affection would never be dry again....But as i gripped your hand finally,a smirk hit your face, you spoke harsh words that made me die inside, Screaming for you to return, you regarded my pleads. That look in your eyes as you watched me,a sadistic grin on your smug face,That face i fell in love with... that face I was used to seeing happy...and now that same face you have was showing me utter betrayal,you were so cruel...too cruel as you held my hand tightly and with a swift whisk of your hand you pulled back,and I cried as you walked off...leaving me in the dirt...On my knees holding a hand out to you,I watched you leave my heart slowly beating dying as i watched you continue to walk...gripping anothers hand and walking merrily away... The ground cracking beneath my body as it moved apart from one another. Still the pain and tears stream down my face like a rushing river..I fell...and thats how it all started....Im still falling...waiting to be caught...My hand still out to you,as i feel the pain increase,shaking and screaming out for it to stop...all the pain and all the sadness not even knowing that this isn?t a dream...I continue to wish to wake up...to stop feeling this ...Hoping youll shake me and hold me close..tell me in my ear...
"Its Okay..Im here for you..."Sadly...Im falling and I break as i hit the pavement...hit the earth,blood leaking from my body as the tears still fall...hoping that now...since im free...I can finally be loved....Without feeling pain...
So thats what I thought...I sit now...laying along the earth,broken and dismembered i gaze around...the rain falling from the sky seems to evenly quench my thirst...Dull...brown..saddened eyes gaze upon the sky hoping for redemption, Now i blink, slowly looking to my side i wince, coughing... The look of the rain as it dances around my body mesmerizes me, small spheres of life, dancing in their own lovely tune, their own rhythm..their own music, My eyes focus upon the rain, noticing some of its dance partners are red...faded but red...Its my blood...Still gazing upon the rain drops, i do not focus my ears along the sound of foot steps approaching me,Nor am i phased by the sound of someones soothing sweet...caring voice..The rain that hits my open eyes.. blinds me from view of someone...I never see it coming... As i finally get to see it..Its too late, to let the memory keep me alive...
I drift back..into the shadows of my mind...Outside of this shell...of a corpse..of a capsule..a holder of a soul...I stare..in tears at it...Running up to the body i stand in the rain...it does not hit my skin now...I no longer feel pain...but...as i figure it all out...Im kneeling beside it...the thing that used to be mines...The thing i used to love...Before i used to cherish...the thing that made him fall for me...That very thing...thats broken...and dead before me...
Is my body...And now i cry...living a world..where i constantly envy how you left me for her...how i couldve been living...and she be dead...Though, i still care for you...i do not wish any harm to her nor you...I just watch...in the shadows...With dead eyes...Still wishing...Not wanting to be this..
But..I am A broken girl...Just wanting....to feel that tingle again....that painful....sweet..enjoyable...yet regretful .. disease called ...Love...And if this is my destiny...A world full of pain... a heart that still beats..though broken..And dead...Then so be it...It was written..to be lived... I shall fulfill it..The pages that mark the days of my life..faded...hard to read...torn, written on...burned...Shall forever be a memory..I wish not to remember...A nightmare...That has become reality...~"Memories...From the past..Effect who we are today..." ~ Rika H.
All posts are either in parody or to be taken as literature. This is a roleplay site. Sexual content is forbidden.