I'm not surprised at all, frankly. I knew this was coming from the very beginning. The more I think about it, the more I believe you knew, too.
We both did, didn't we?
The sweat and passion, the strong love we shared - it wouldn't have lasted. And it didn't.
"I'm sorry. Things are differet now," you said, that day. I remained silent, knowing arguing was pointless. "I just don't think I can do it anymore."
I wanted to say, "We can talk about this. We can fix the issue." But I didn't.
There was nothing to be fixed.
There were no issues.
And that was the problem.
"I want you to move on," you told me. You were serious. So serious it hurt. "Forget about me... I want you to be happy."
"You're wonderful... but don't depend on me for your smiles, okay...?"
I heard the sweet sadness in your voice, and the sorrow that filled your eyes at that point. Maybe it would have been easier if I weren't so accustome to your company. I needed it to go on.
I still do.
I don't think that will ever change.
Before you left, I remember telling you, "It's not that easy."
But I tried.
I really did. I tried so hard.
I'm still trying.
What a surprise, seeing you here with her. Swinging hands on a bright sunny day like this. You two must be having one hell of a time, So why stop and notice me? As I've now officially become apart of 'what use to be' . Please carry on your day with true smiles while I hide this stinging and burning behind my fake one.
"How are you?" the sound of breaking glass now echoing inside my mind. "Still breathing", wouldn't you agree? Just when I ask for the moment to pass - to be over with already - time ticks slowly. "Whats that suppose to mean?" what does it matter? Its not like I'll explain to you my struggle with recovering. " Guess you can call it my 'Motivation' "
Surrounded by all these people, and still you manage to pick a silent conversation with me. Even in front of your date who is now becoming suspicious. "I don't understand you" My words seem to have enlightened due to that pure and familiar grin that has appeared. Figures. "What is so funny about that?"
"Brings back memories I guess" Force to catch my breath you walk away. And I watch, just like always. My heart almost lifted from the weight of my pain.