Written Dreams...Hopeful Hearts

/ By WrittenDreams [+Watch]

Replies: 481 / 7 years 4 days 4 hours 35 minutes 10 seconds

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I'm going to follow suit I suppose and make a journal of sorts. I'm horrible at keeping a journal, but maybe this will help.

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Today is weird for me. First the first time in almost thirteen years I'm not saying happy birthday. In fact I have no contact on social media because seeing you makes me see red. Seeing you makes me think how you told me to pursue what would make me happy and tried to take it away. Seeing you makes me think of looking at his computer and phone and my world crumbling down to my feet. I can't forgive you and I've tried. I can't forgive the fact that you this isn't the first, that you said you were lonely as why, that you knew how in love I am and how much I gave away for him and still tried to ruin everything.
I'm mad today and sad. I just can't anymore.
  Alysia Shardae / WrittenDreams / 14d 15h 50m 27s
I feel lost and angry a lot anymore. I'm so happy yet so broken in the same moment, and then I'm ever more isolated from people I thought where my friends. It's not like anyone checks on me or cares. Most of the people in my life only care about one person and I'm not her.
I can just feel myself getting bad again. Like I'm slipping away and not myself anymore.
I should be happy. I'm engaged and planning a wedding. I really like my job. Yet all I feel is crushing sadness and loneliness.
  Tanis Drakon / WrittenDreams / 225d 21h 20m 12s
It's strange that now not only do we have a house but have been living together for over a month. I start work this coming Tuesday and am starting to feel at home
  Gwyen Connor / WrittenDreams / 1y 264d 12h 57m 53s
We may have a house. I just gotta keep positive
We both seem really sure about this property, the landlord is very sweet, and I won't have to pay a pet deposit. It means I'll be able to live with my dear giant like he asked me to so long ago. I really need this to work out...
  Tanis Drakon / WrittenDreams / 1y 346d 15h 5m 42s
I'm so fucking tired of being sick! All I want is to finally be well again
  Tanis Drakon / WrittenDreams / 2y 38d 11h 42m 15s
I'm getting to the point in my life where if someone wants to treat me like I don't matter that I could care less about them too. Don't tell me I'm so important to you but treat me like dirt and then wonder why I start getting salty with you. I'm just done depending on others
  Tanis Drakon / WrittenDreams / 2y 156d 2m 40s
Spent two hours in the clinic just to be sent to the er. Eleven hours later I finally get seen by the doctor
  Tanis Drakon / WrittenDreams / 2y 204d 5h 24m 57s
Who am I? What am I? What’s inside?
That’s causing this Malfunction

Mislabeled, unable, To repair this Mal-

Functioning just fine, I’m alive

At this junction of dysfunction, We arrive


What’s your Malfunction?
Don’t be scare, It don’t matter how you wear your hair

What’s your Malfunction?
Find its mirth, perfect’s a bore for what it’s worth


Gold, silver, copper, bronze

The dullest metal can still be strong


Well we might have our share of ticks

But honey that’s how we get our kicks


Mah-ah-ah-ah-ahl function away

Mah-ah-ah-ah-ahl function away
Malfunction! Malfunction! Malfunction!

My function’s desire
Climb higher than a spider on the wire
You function in mirth
But that sector might need rebirth

I’m about to pick you up

get you back up on your feet

you don’t need to worry love

Even if we’re incomplete

Come on baby open up
Pull out the wires and trim the fluff
Be yourself sounds so cliche

But hey let's do it anyway


We’re functioning just fine, we’re alive

At this junction of dysfunction we are arrive


What’s your Malfunction?

Don’t be scare, It don’t matter how you wear your hair

What’s your Malfunction?

Bring it forth perfect’s a bore for what it’s worth


Curvy, skinny, or bizarre

The best shape is who you are


Raise your hand if you’re not from a mold

Varied strings are worth more than gold


Mah-ah-ah-ah-ahl function away
Mah-ah-ah-ah-ahl function away
Malfunction! Malfunction! Malfunction!

Feel the fires as they tickle your face
Watch and learn as they make you feel disgrace
Ones and zeroes left over, left out to haunt

Comb them in and let them want

I want more from this stupid life
Do you want more from this stupid life?
Ones and zeroes, ones and zeroes, ones and zeroes

Add them up, take them up, show them


I’m functioning just fine I’m alive
At my junction of dysfunction we arrive

What’s their Malfunction?
It’s a start; Can we teach them not to fall apart?
Their Malfunction isn’t us, it’s all the clamor and the fuss


When I say that I love you, dammit Janet, take it as truth
Everything’s a little broken

To be pristine well you must be jokin’


Mah-ah-ah-ah-ahl-function away
Mah-ah-ah-ah-ahl-function away
  Tanis Drakon / WrittenDreams / 2y 233d 19h 19m 10s
You would seriously think I would have learned my lesson by now
  Tanis Drakon / WrittenDreams / 2y 327d 5h 16m 3s
My brain is wired all wrong
And they'll agree because it's easier to say I am gone
It's time to face the truth in a song
I've always told myself that it was never true
was never true
was never ever ever true
it can't be true
it can't be true
it must not be true

Someday I might tire
Having walked through these fires
because I am wired wrong

Maybe someday I'll be
In a place where I can see
that I'm not wired wrong

My brain is all wired wrong
but that's how it's been all along

My brain is all wired wrong
but that's how it's been all along

Sometimes I think that I am the only one
Who's been built poor in the way that he runs
But how can that be? Am I really that flawed?
I am not the only one
and it'll never be true

will never be true
never ever ever be true
it can't be true
it can't be true
it must not be true

Someday we might tire
Having walked through these fires
because we are wired wrong

Maybe someday we'll be
In a place where we can see
that we're not wired wrong

Our brains are all wired wrong
but that's how they've been all along

Our brains are all wired wrong
but that's how they've been all along

We are wired wrong (x4)
La la. La la la la (x2)

Our brains are all wired wrong
but that's how we've been all along
Wired wrong...
  Katrina Mackenzie / WrittenDreams / 2y 345d 10h 51m 8s
A lot has happened since I last posted in here

This last two weeks has been such a blur and it seems like a cruel joke at times
It's hard to believe their both gone

I struggle a lot with finding him
I feel completely alone and insecure about everything and even borderline suicidal a lot
I'm trying to move on but it's beyond difficult
I just want to cry and constantly feel tired
But I can't allow myself to talk to anyone about it because I don't want to be a bother

Having to pick up his ashes alone today was the most difficult thing
I'm just ready to be anywhere but where I am
I know this dark place won't last forever but I'm so stressed and it's all so difficult...
  Katrina Mackenzie / WrittenDreams / 2y 351d 8h 37m 58s
I'm excited to get out of Lubbock for awhile this weekend and get to see my boyfriend graduate from college and most importantly road trip with Holo
Three days of work between now and then, and then I'm on the road :)

I'm also very excited for Holo's birthday despite us not really having plans

Just in a really good mood and place here lately

I can't wait for A-Kon. I registered finally and will have Katrina Mackenzie on my badge this year :)
  Katrina Mackenzie / WrittenDreams / 3y 17d 11h 48m 31s
You were at an end, breaking at the bend
Heaven was an awful lot to lose
What if I'd have prayed, if I would've stayed
If I would've thought about you

I just covered your eyes
And let you crumble down, down, down on the inside
All this trouble is mine
I let you crumble down, down, down on the inside

I can't lie, love
I'm sort of Delilah
And I know that I let you down
I let you down, oh, I let you down

Once you were a tower, and given the power
How did I become the wrecking ball?
Didn't want to hurt you, didn't deserve you
I'm usually the victim, after all

I just covered your eyes
And let you crumble down, down, down on the inside
All this trouble is mine
I let you crumble down, down, down on the inside

I can't lie, love
I'm sort of Delilah
And I know that I let you down
I let you down, I let you down

And I might not have started
If I knew that I would break your heart
And if I tell you I'm sorry
Would I build you back to where you started
And I became the bad guy when I broke your heart
And you just let me
I don't want to be the bad guy

I just covered your eyes
And let you crumble down, down, down on the inside
All this trouble is mine
I let you crumble down, down, down on the inside

I can't lie, love
I'm sort of Delilah
And I know that I let you down
I let you down, I let you down

I let you down, I let you down, I let you down
Ooh, let you down, I let you down, I let you down
I let you down, I let you down, I let you down
  Ella / WrittenDreams / 3y 25d 13h 40m 27s
Bills are paid, RWBY is a thing, I'm saving for Akon, and I get to see my boyfriend soon
Life is good
  Ella / WrittenDreams / 3y 37d 12h 59m 23s
Up late crafting
I'm hoping to take commissions so that I can raise money to go to Albuquerque in May for John's graduation as well as A-Kon
Hopefully I can raise some

Not looking forward to working 2pm-12am Friday and then needing to come back in 6 hours later to work 6am-12pm
I'll get through it though
  Ella / WrittenDreams / 3y 49d 6h 1m 9s
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