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Kai looked around, the bed. No! Not here, please not here! He silently begged, but didn't say anything. He couldn't say anything, it would only make things worse. He knew that. He felt Nates body over his, and thoughts of his dad burrowed into his mind. "no!" he exclaimed finally, pushing his hands to Nates chest. "n...not here. Please not here" he nearly begged, his eyes searching Nates for some kind of emotion.
He moved and gently picked Kai up, carrying him to his bedroom. HE layed Kai down and kissed him passioantly. He smield into the kiss. He was happy to be with Kai. He smield as his ahnds explored Kais body smiling.
Kai felt the hands and kept his eyes on Nate. If he closed his eyes all hebwould see would be his dad, and he didn't want him here. Despite Nate saying that talking was okay, he wasn't comfortable with it. He had nothing to say. He just wanted to feel something different.
He saw Kai pull bakc and stopped. "I'm sorry. I won't do that again." He siad knowing he didn't like it. HE leaned forward and kissed him. "You can tell me anything, I promise I won't get mad." EH siad holding him close. HE kissed him passioantly and sweetly, his hands roaming Kai's body.
Kai still didn't say anything. He didn't know what he would say anyways. Feeling the second hickey he pulled back. He didn't know what they were, but they felt weird. He felt more comfortable with just the kissing, but hendidnt tell Nate that. He didn't want to run the risk of uPetting him or getting him angry.
He smilled gnetly. "You've never had a hickey before have you?" He asked and laugehd gnetly. he then began to kiss his neck again, leavign another on. He held Kai close and sigehd agians't his neck as he kissed.
"Kai..i want to hear you.."He murmered between kissed. "You don't ahve to be silent, bno matter what you say you wno't get hurt." He murmered between kisses. H emoved slipping both his and kai's jeans off, leaving them just in bozers.
He hickey was new, and he felt the throbbing patch as his eyes went wide. It wasn't a bruise, and it felt nice. "what?" he felt it, his voice quiet.
He had learned it was best to remain quiet during the act, or run the risk of getting hurt even more.
He knew Nate could neverhurt him. And he took a little comfort in that. He didn't say anything else the whole time. He looked at where they were, and imagined his bed under him, or the automan, the worst was the carpet. He didn't want to be in any ofthose places, and he clutched Nates arm a bit, letting go right after he realized his mistake. He was to never input suggestions or critisksm. He just had to keep his mouth shut. Wherever Natedecided, he would do it. He would do anything for his freedom
He moved down and began to slide Kai's pants off. He wanted to be carefull to not touch him. He saw that Kai was silent, and it worried him alot. He wanted to fix it. He begna to kiss Kai's neck leavign a hickey, but not a bruise. He wanted ot make sure that Kai wasn'tin any pain."tell me if I hurt you..I don't want to hurt you." HE siad his arms pressign their bodies together. He was movign forward but slowly. he wanted to make Kai truly happy. He wanted ot please him, he knew tha tkai had never been given rela pleause. Tonight was aobut him, he was sure, he wnated otnight ot be about him and only him. He actualy cared for Kai alot.
Kai felt all the kisses, but stayed silent. How could he respond to the constant declarations of love. No such thing existed. All that was was this, hands touching an sensations. That's all that was real in this world.
He shivered as his shirt was removed, and felt the hands on his back. It was like people were coming from all sides, all he felt was Nates body, enveloping him. He was only putting off the enevitable, the light feathery touches only making him more anxious. He said he wasn't backing out, but he wasn't moving forward either.
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