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Everyone is tired of you bringing up shit.
Leave it alone.
Nobody fucking cares.
Just grow the fuck up and leave people alone.

How many protective orders, block buttons, and literal "do not care to associate with you" do you need?

You're a victim. Great. You got the title, go throw yourself a party and leave the people I love alone.

We're tired of hearing about you needing something to be upset about. We're tired of you needing to be right. And for the most part pretty fucking tired of your incoherent babbles. Take nap. I fucking miss people who I never contact. Time to put your big people pants on. Get that money and mind your mother fucking business.
  Rin Kurokawa / EileenTheCrow / 45d 17h 30m 0s
Hello suicidal thoughts my old friend. Yeah, these thoughts are getting worse and I can't afford to see my psychiatrist anymore... I'm just mentally worn out and trying my best not to be snappy with people today. This week isn't going to be a good one and I'm sick too, so not being to leave the house is kinda making me feel like I'm trapped.
  002 / LiterallyPluto / 46d 3h 26m 26s
[center [size10 whoever stole that hat I hope they enjoy it and I hope they know if I find out who it is they're on my shit list. I can't even buy him a new one and I feel like shit even though I know he wouldn't really care. I just know he liked it because he actually wore it. He even admitted to putting it somewhere and tbh it was nice to hear that even if it didn't really mean anything THAT special. The fact that he appreciated it was enough for me. Then some asshat goes and steals it from work when it even has his name tag on it. Part of me suspects I know who took it and if they did just another thing to add to the list of why they're sketchy as fuck. Warn me away from him and act jealous over stupid shit definitely wouldn't put it past you to fucking take his hat too. Like I may still have one of his shirts but it's not like I purposely took that.]]
[center [size10 maybe I can track down something to replace it with but for now I guess I'll just continue to feel pissed at myself for shit I can't control]]
  ooc / Jooheon / 46d 15h 39m 12s
  Jeremy / _JeremyHapHap / 47d 4h 2m 5s
[center [size10 I mean I guess I'm just gonna get accused of being obsessed because oh boy I just could not let this go. We wanna talk about screenshots? Oh bby you gotta learn that anyone can make screenshots of anything especially something that contradicts you're whole "the evidence was for me" Bullshit. I present exhibit a and exhibit b. While yes I'm sure you could argue you only sent this for yourself it still stands to reason why you wouldn't have idk emailed to yourself or some other bullshit instead of sending it in a group chat that wasn't even made by you to begin with. Hmm strange. Exhibit b is to show who is in said group chat. Two of those are me, the other is coco and well voldemort. Regardless you can argue until you're blue in the face that this was just for you but you obviously didn't think anything through. Try to do that next time and maybe there won't be any need to drag you back into relevancy. As you said about a certain situation you made this decision. It's not anyone's fault but your own. You're an adult no one forced you to message a group chat that's been dead over a year.]]
[center [pic]][center [pic]]
  read me / Jooheon / 49d 14h 57m 8s
What a world we must live in.

I sent photos to one person. I was seeing this person at the time and it was fine, I had photos from him also.

When we stopped seeing each other, I immediately deleted all of his photos that he sent me. I no longer had a right to have them. You would have thought that he'd have done the same for me.

But he gave them to someone who's supposed to be my best friend. Someone with a girlfriend and a baby.

What. The. Fuck.

And don't you DARE say I shouldn't send photos; they were a consensual agreement between me and one other person. They were intended for that ONE person. It's his fault for sending them to someone else, and I can't take them back.

But I'll be more careful next time. No one will do this to me again.

No one.

  Jeremy / _JeremyHapHap / 49d 23h 37m 45s
[Center You never know where's it gonna go.
Because the night I bawled and the only one there was you,
But everyone knew it was gonna be you leaving me
Used up, burned up, torn down-
It's over now.
The love is gone.
Time to move the fuck on.
I'll never tell you that I always miss you
And that every time I catch myself smiling
I think of how much better life would have been with you.
In the end I gotta pretend it's okay
Because baby girl didn't break her own heart,
You did all of the tearing us apart.
Nothing ever felt right before we met.
How the fuck am I supposed to go back to all of it?
All of the loneliness in the night, all the empty spaces
That you filled with white lies.
Was it really lying if you just failed to mention,
Every bit of information because you were so selfishly
Consumed in the unreasonable sadness I told you
I'd save you from?
It was us against the world, bitch,
You were my rock, my biggest fan, and my protector.
Yeah, you played me a fool more than once or twice.
But that was all voluntary, I would have pulled triggers for you.
I've bought dinner for you when I couldn't afford my own,
I've given you love that I didn't even know I could muster.
Who the hell is ever going to love us like we did?
No one understands when I'm upset to just be upset with me.
Granted I'll never get what we had again from nobody else,
There isn't a body who could make me laugh
Make me feel okay to be sad, teach me to be glad,
But we were just a fad.
What ever it took to get you by,
Like the drugs you got yourself fucked with.
In the end we could never die, together,
No matter what weather we withstood.
Can't even die alone, we both gave that shit up long ago.
How you even get caught up in the mess the ended our reign,
Will never make sense to me. How'd I even become the better adult?
Out of the two of us, you held us together.
I was your blind dog. Taking all the hits to shield you from the pain.
Maybe I missed a stab or two and it got to you.
Nothing gives me closure, it's been so long.
I want you to be happy and I could never give you that.
Nobody could, nobody can. Your mom told me only you can.
But I can't keep burning myself out for you
If you couldn't even bother to open your eyes and take a look around.
I'd illuminate the world for you,
But your illness swallowed you. Sorry I can't be anyone else
But another goodbye.
I don't know how many goodbyes I have to give to let you go.
  Luella Beaumont / EileenTheCrow / 50d 7h 57m 39s
[i [+blue [b October 28, 2018 3:23 A.M.]]]

I should really be asleep right now...

You know...I never post here....but something posessed me to spill my fricken guts out.

I finally unleashed some inner demons and I talked about it... I never knew this side of myself...I'm not sure yet how things are going to turn out...but I am going to take it one day at a time like I always do.

It's time I let that me that has been hiding take control.

Is it possible to have more than one version of yourself inside? Sometimes I feel like that...

What is wrong with me?

Am I crazy?...

This is a side of Lizzy no one has seen before..

I normally don't whine about how I feel... but right now....I feel the need to...

Ugggh...I wish I could fix all the crap going on inside of me...

I seriously am tired of going to therapist after therapist though...just when I start to wanna talk about all the shit I went through they leave. I'm done. Simply done.

I really didn't expect to write much... I guess that is what happens when you write here huh?

I might do this more often....

Never know...
  {Serenity} / LizzyBear / 51d 12h 34m 16s
Grandma passed away and I was on this trip.
I know everyone tells me she wanted me to have this job.
To be happy and to be productive.
But... I wish I was there I thought I'd make it back for Christmas. She passed away so soon. Mid 60s...
Breast cancer and just being sick in general can do that huh?
God I miss her already she... I remember living with her.

This is the time of year we normally spend most over there...
Idk what to do what to say to my mom except it's okay mom.
I just... Wow
  Kirishima / Knight- / 51d 13h 6m 11s
[Center okay universe I get it
People can be unbelievably stupid
You can stop showing me now pls thank you
I've had enough explaining to grown ass people not tf knowing science proves 100x over that mother fucking intersex people exist lmao

I'm fuckin scared to see how people react fucking knowing theres actual microscopic life outside of earth
They'd probs deny that too lmao end my life
People are too goddamn much for me to handle
  Luella Beaumont / EileenTheCrow / 52d 5h 43m 53s
They say a name,
Is all it takes..
To grab your soul's attention.
You'd do all that I mention.
Could it get any more vain?
My imagination is,
The only way I can make you mine.

I always write to [i you.]
Never waiting for a reply,
Just waiting for these shitty emotions
To go fucking die.

The rain is calling, Hli,
So don't trying to find me.
The rain is calling, I'll see you again.


I fucking had it here I'm going any where else lmao
  Lady Maria / EileenTheCrow / 52d 22h 45m 11s
My birthday is coming up. I'm getting lit af. Even in a cast. Nothing can stop me now! Well, except my intolerance of being in a crowded place.
  002 / LiterallyPluto / 53d 6h 6m 54s
[Kodchasan [Center [size12 October 26th, 2018

Today is the day when I stop caring about everybody who cares for me. Maybe they'd stop caring about me and to be honest, that exactly what I want. I don't want them to care anymore and I wish I could stop caring but I'm too clingy for my own good.

I'm lost for now, lost in what to do with my life. Lost in what to do with my friends. At least my boyfriend cares at least because he's always doing something special with me everyday. The things we do are never the same thing either, like yesterday, he took me to go get one of those air brush t-shirts.

But my social life is dying and it's really affecting me because now I only really have one person to talk to and that's my boyfriend Juko. Yeah, I have sociopathic tendencies but I'm still a human and I make mistakes. Some mistakes must be huge but I've changed from it and people are just too blind with rage to see the new me.

Yesterday, I was in theatre class and reacting Scene 5 Act 1 of Shakespeare's "Midsummer Mid-night Dream." when I was pushed off stage because blocking was bad. When I landed on the house floor, my whole foot went sideways to the right. Since Juko and I go to the same school, instead of the school calling an ambulance, Juko picked me up and carried me to his car. He did it because he knows I don't like ambulances and that I'm afraid of the hospital.

He made sure I was comfortable in the backseat before driving me to the hospital and really, it didn't seem so bad. When I got into there, it took me about an hour to get a room and 30 minutes to get doctors finally in with us. Juko spoke up for me and let the doctors know that I was afraid and they decided to knock me out with some gas.

The next time I woke up was when I was being unhooked from the EKG machine and I was happy. I had a little purple cast around my dislocated foot and I was in a wheelchair with Juko's phone in my hands. He was wheeling me out and it was at that moment when I decided, I wasn't alone and not all that wonder are lost.

I love him.
He'll stay by me.
Through thick and thin,
This is for you hunny. ]]]
  |ᴍʏ ʙʟᴏᴏᴅ| / Catharsis- / 53d 6h 13m 34s
Morte back at it again to put neon in their place because where has the adult supervision been? Why the hell wasn't I woke up sooner? Why the hell did you let yourself get this fucked up? Your black outs are your fault. Not that you shouldn't be concerned but I can tell you right now you're going to wind up hurting yourself physically and mentally. That woman fucked us over. I hope she burns, she's broken you so horribly I know that it's the root of everything you're feeling. You've admitted being homesick for a place that no longer exists. It hasn't existed for years, Ace, you've been broken and homesick for years but you never had it confirmed until about a year ago. Don't ever contact her, she did this to you, it's not your fault you're like this. Shit happens and you'll be okay. Stop fucking coping in ways that are physically harmful or I will take over and I will make people think you finally snapped I don't fucking care. I trust that moron with you as far as you could throw him but he's 100% right to threaten to admit you to a mental hospital. Do I believe he would actually do it? Oh fuck no, I do however agree with the sentiment.
  Morte / Aka / 53d 15h 2m 28s
[Kodchasan [Center [i I'm losing people, friends, even my family... Please... Don't go... ]

I was raised in the valley.
There was shadows of death.
Got out alive with scars
I can’t forget.

This kid back in school,
Subdued and shy.
An orphan and a brother and unseen by most eyes.
I don’t know what is was that made a piece of him die.
Took a boy to the forest,
Slaughtered him with a scythe.

Stamped on his face,
An impression in the dirt.
Do you think the silence,
Makes a good boy convert?

We all have our horrors,
And our demons to fight.
But how can I win when,
I’m paralyzed?
They crawl up on my bed,
Wrap their fingers around my throat.
Is this what I get for
The choices that I made?

God, forgive me for all my sins.
God, forgive me for everything.
God, forgive me for all my sins.
God forgive me.
God forgive us.

Don’t go.
I can’t do this on my own.
Don’t go.
I can’t do this on my own.
Save me from the ones,
That haunt me in the night.
I can’t live with myself tonight,
So stay with me tonight.
Don’t go…
[b …Don’t go! ]

If I let you in,
You’d just want out.
If I tell you the truth
You’d vie for a lie.
If I spilt my guts,
It would make a mess
We can’t clean up.

If you follow me
You’ll only get lost.
If you try to get closer
We’ll only lose touch.
Yes, you already know too much
And you’re not going anywhere.

Don't go.
  |ᴍʏ ʙʟᴏᴏᴅ| / DontGo- / 54d 5h 59m 48s

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