[youtube https://youtu.be/4Mh4z724ZgY?list=PL9YgSOjN5IOt81mZKPCKvN0GLIqBfDoxB ]
[Kodchasan [center I know most people would ask me this.
"Why do you talk and pray to your parents when they abuse you?"
It's because the answer
Was to forgive the ones that hurt me.
It was the answer and it changed me
In ways that I thought was possible.
Trust me, I didn't think I would be this content in life.
At the age of 15, all I wanted to do was kill myself.
The feeling comes back once in a while but I don't accept it.
People love me for who I am now.
I've got two friends and a boyfriend that lives with me.
I've got a job I love, I'm in a college way earlier than most.
I love my life, trust me.
Everything will get better.
There's light in the dark.
[youtube https://youtu.be/5MaRGCADmDI?list=PL9YgSOjN5IOt81mZKPCKvN0GLIqBfDoxB ]
We need to live life to the fullest
Even if that's going and playing laser tag everyday.
Hell, I drink at least one milkshake per day.
It ain't my fault and I'm not fat,
I do it because it's a lot different from what most people do.
It gives life a new and exciting turn.
For the people who don't have money like most
All I ask is to listen to a new album of a new singer that you've never heard before each day.
Or even hang out with some friends and do some things
Maybe even explore.
Life is an experience for all of us.
We are all gonna have different experiences.
But we're gonna experience it with each other.
Love you guys.
[Center You ever look at someone and just wanna shove your hand on their mouth and maybe down their throat and just be all "sh no one wants to hear you breathe anymore"
Damn I'm cold as fuck lmao.
I asked my coworkers if they wanted to take turned strangling Christy each person gets one minute until shes out. They just laughed. Seriously this girl had that bad shit coming. Couldnt stfu about "omg he gave me his number this week is amazing" hoe jinxed herself and blames everyone else.
Tired of these fucking bitches, man
I had to cut my cast off, it got soaking wet because my cast cover had a hole in it. I have to go to the orthopedic and explain what happened. I'm really just not in a healthy physical state....
Seeing your last message grandma.
I'm glad. It was sweet I wish I saw it sooner and responded while you were alive jobs got me so busy.
Family has been a wreck from what mom tells me.
They need to get along. She wouldn't have wanted them to fight like this
[Center Typical me. I create something beautiful and as soon as it lifts off and I want out.
I have been alright I guess. Still processing the whole "engagement" thing. Still not entirely sure how I feel about it.
Didn't even announce it in fear of people knowing. The thought of people knowing I exist and what goes in my life frightens me. But also because I suppose it frightens me because I'm not comfortable with it fully. We have things to talk about still. Just cold feet. I've always ran from everything.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbbF2exK7X0 ]
[Kodchasan [center I've changed.
I don't need people's pity anymore.
Those pity-parties they threw for me.
Made me more insane for more pity.
I don't know what changed me
But my narcissistic ways are gone.
I feel lighter, happier, hell
I just realized that I'm [b normal weight ] for a short person.
I thought I was fat and I'm really not.
Something from my childhood triggered my narcissistic ways.
The therapist and I figured out it was my dad, my real dad.
He left before my mother did but my mom gave me her love.
I barely even remember him but yesterday when I was taking a tiny hiatus from here, I came across a baby picture of me and him.
I've never cried tears of joy before.
It felt very weird to me.
Love you dad.
We can have lunch soon.
[Center [size10 Been nasty sick the past few days and can barely talk which is a fucking nightmare for me. The sad part is, I could be confirmed to have something 100% killing me unless I get one thing brought over that could save me, and Davey's mom still wouldn't let them come over to take care of me and save my life. Is that a bit over the top? Maybe but I'm legit convinced she's enjoying that I'm sick as a dog and just wants me to ride it out wothout letting them come bring me meds or help me just y'know.. function? Since I've tried to get food twice and am so uncoordinated I dropped the dishes? Probably would just be a bonus for her if I actually died from whatever the fuck this is. Probably the flu but who knows. Here's hoping it's non lethal lol.
But in times like these, as much as he fucks with me or makes jabs at me, it's good to have someone like Caleb who even if it's only cause Mun is on this side, pulls out his wallet and sends me a care package with some soup and meds and other snacks. Fuck he know how to take care of people when he can't be there for em to help in person. I'd say get yoself a Caleb but he's Mun's so.. maybe not the best idea to take Caleb. Anyway, you cool, bro. Thanks for lookin out for us.]]
It's a shame that, when you enter a home that's supposed to feel welcoming, all you feel is barbs surrounding you. My mother has never liked me, and the fact that she pretends when I'm around is just disgusting.
Speaking of disgusting, I do NOT understand how she can live in the filth she lives in.
The downstairs isn't awful, but it's full of dirty, moldy dishes, a bathroom that only half works because they're too lazy to get it fixed, and dogs that tear everything up.
The upstairs is awful. There are four cat litter boxes that never get changed, save for the one in Angel's room, thank god. At least Angel tries to clean, but I hate how it never works out in her favor because my mom and her husband don't pick up anything, and in turn, have raised my youngest sister to be the same way. If only we'd been able to save her sooner. The carpet in the hall is stained with dog pee and needs to be pulled or it's going to get someone seriously sick. The bathroom, like the other one downstairs, only half works. The floors are gross. I just... don't understand how someone can live like that.
I'd rather avoid making phone calls for the unsanitary living conditions, but... I might. There are two children under the age of 14 living in that house, and I can't allow it to continue. I may try cleaning the house for them the next time I'm there, just to try and give Angel some help. But if that doesn't work, then...
I'm sorry, Angel, but I'll call DHS.
I say this with all the love I can possibly muster:
[size30 go fucking vote you degenerates]
have a nice day
If you tricked yourself into thinking I mattered at all, I'm pleased to inform you of what everyone else figured out a long time ago:
I met some of the corporate execs for Northern Light Health during general orientation today, and they're actually pretty funny people. Minus the first guy, who was nice but a bit boring, they were all with the groove and had a generally good vibe to them. The last guy was even telling decent jokes. Hats off to you, Corporate Compliance guy. Hats off to you.
I really think I'll like the new job. I've met a lot of the EVS techs already, and they're super nice. One of the EVS techs is my former coworker's daughter, so I hope we'll get along.
EVS tech - Environmental Services Technician. I'm a housekeeper with a glorified title. Lmfao.
All's well that ends well, I guess. Here's to eventually getting my Certified Nursing Assistant license!
I'd say I less want to kill certain folks, and more that I wish I could wipe their memory from my mind. Its been too frustrating its starting to weigh me down. Though I have no one but myself to blame.
Now that I have the key to unlock my cage I feel less free and more restraint. Its like I opened the door and instead of the endless sky I found a drowning ocean.
I'm starting to suspect I wasn't made for either.
That's alright though its how the saying goes 'you learn to swim you got to go on the deep end'
Now its not an easy swim I know that for sure but where else can I go?
So I'll just keep on swimming in this sea, though part of me things this sea is in a fishbowl ontop of a jenga tower and we all just waiting for the inevitable crash.
Lets just hope it goes in slow motion.
I quit Walmart today. Long story short, it was no longer about the customers, but about corporate greed. Good riddance. At least Elena left before me, so I no longer feel bad about quitting.
But I've got my hospital job; that's all I need. And i have the support of the friends I've made over the past 2.5 years; I'm finally at peace.
[size10 well, I'm sold already. damn McCree short was amazing and I want more lmao. I'm just lame like that though.
Tempted to play it, but I'm tired af right now . On the bright side, bought a hella soft and comfy D.va hat. I'm pretty happy about that. Oh, ended up with some extra money thanks to the owner of where I work. Guess I've been doing a good job so. That was nice.
Bought the doggo and kitty some stuff, along with my hat.
Anyways. Tired. Bye.]
[center [size10 the holiday season starts soon or I guess now that Halloween is over its already begun. I miss it already. I'm not looking forward to these next two months. It's going to take every fiber of my being to make it through them. I hate this time of year. I hate that I love these holidays because now the meaning for them is gone. What it meant just reminds me of everything and how abandoned I feel. I won't get to see them and they probably don't want to see me anyways. I hated these holidays when I still lived there and could see them. Now it just reminds me of how it used to be and how it'll never be like that again. It makes me feel so alone and neglected. I don't even want to exist these next few months I wish that I could just fast forward past all of this. I'm going to hear people making plans with family and I guess just drug myself during them and sleep through them. I probably won't even get to have work to distract me. Everything hurts and I'm not okay. I won't be okay for a few years. I just want to escape this but I'm stuck. We can't always get what we want. All we can do is just try to survive.]]
All posts are either in parody or to be taken as literature. This is a roleplay site. Sexual content is forbidden.