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[center [size10 I get why I'm approachable to people in real life. I act like a decent, fun to be around human being. I talk the talk and walk the walk to have people feel comfortable and trusting towards me. And no one really knows no better that I'm nothing like that and that I hate pretty much everyone. But on es, I think people typically know well enough that I'm not how I act in person. I don't feel the need to act nicer than I am cause it's online. I use, I don't make strong connections, I speak my mind and I typically make more enemies than I do acquaintances on here with my opinions. Yet somehow, even with me usually being a dick to people, I still get some who message me and my question end up just being, "Why?" I don't like you. I don't give a fuck about you. And if my curiosity and eagerness to know as much as I can about people didn't trump my hatred for people, then I wouldn't even respond to anyone that messaged me. But I still get these randos that message me for whatever reason. Or people who think just cause I talk to them or give them advice, they're something of a friend to me. And it's just.. sad? In a pathetic sort of way. There are a couple people I find worth talking to. A couple of people that are held higher than the general population. But if you aren't one of those people who I've had contact with outside of es, don't think anything special of yourself. Really. You're only doing yourself a disservice.]]
  -ɢᴜɪᴅᴏ- / Mista / 59d 14m 42s
[size10 getting called a sociopath has really fucked w/ my personal view of self.]
[size10 i think if it had come from anyone else, it would have rolled off me - but it came from a close friend, who I've 10 odd years.]
[size10 it's just totally fucked me and i ain't stoked w/ that feeling.]
[size10 i'm doing my best to not let it get me down, but damn.]

[size10 -Nin.]
  Ninja / ImprobusNinja / 59d 4h 58m 0s
[center [size9 So Ibis broke her fucking ankle in two places because of ME.
Her Christmas is ruined, she was supposed to play for us at the local Sheffield Christmas Talent Show.
Now she can't do shit.
She can't sing in a wheelchair, her lungs won't inflate to produce the noise that she needs.

Nice job me, you just made it worse.
Your ruined one Christmas, let's see if you can ruin the other eight-
Because it's like Raven needs that, her and YOUR fucking most favorite sister is in the ER because of me.
Go me.

[youtube ]

[pic ]
  『OOK』 / Wings- / 59d 5h 16m 28s
[Center ɪ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ɪ ᴡᴀs ɢᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ... ʙᴜᴛ ᴛᴏᴅᴀʏ ᴀғᴛᴇʀ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴀ ғᴇᴡ ʜᴏᴜʀs ᴏғ ᴡᴏʀᴋɪɴɢ ɪ ᴊᴜsᴛ sᴛᴀʀᴛᴇᴅ ғᴇᴇʟɪɴɢ sᴏ ᴠᴇʀʏ ᴜɴᴡᴇʟʟ. ɪ ᴛʜʀᴇᴡ ᴜᴘ, ᴍʏ sᴛᴏᴍᴀᴄʜ ɪs ᴜᴘsᴇᴛ, ɪ ᴄᴀɴ ғᴇᴇʟ ᴍʏ ᴀɴxɪᴇᴛʏ ғᴜᴄᴋɪɴɢ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍᴇ. ᴍʏ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ʜᴜʀᴛs ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ғᴏᴄᴜs. ɪ'ᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴛᴀᴋɪɴɢ ᴍʏ ᴍᴇᴅɪᴄᴀᴛɪᴏɴs ʙᴜᴛ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀᴡɪsᴇ ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴀᴛ ᴀ ʟᴏss. ᴍʏ ʙᴏᴅʏ ᴡᴀs ғɪɴᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴀsᴛ ғᴇᴡ ᴅᴀʏs ᴅᴏɪɴɢ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴇʟsᴇ. ᴅᴀᴍɴ...
  / ArthurMorgan / 59d 13h 47m 13s
[left [pic]]
[center [size10 I'm just so exhausted. I'm so stressed. It's only been a few weeks I shouldn't be like this already. I don't mean to hurt anyone's feelings. I either work or sleep or get distracted. I run myself ragged I wear my body down. I have people why I limp or why I randomly puke or gag and I'm just so used to all of it now I just tell them that's normal even though I know it's not. I'm trying so fucking hard and it's so fucking hard. I just want to rest again but I'm not allowed. I'm ready to give up again but I can't. I'm not allowed to but god damn it's so fucking tempting but no one would let me have the materials to do it. Not now and probably not even 50 years from now and I appreciate it. I wish mental days from jobs were a thing.]]
  admin / Kihyun / 60d 2h 1m 59s
Well, now I can get my CBD vape pen. They finally legalized CBD oil here. Literally, it was si hard to find places that would ship it here due to the law... Now, if medicinal marijuana could be made legal here, that would be splendid because this chronic illness shit in my legs hurts.
  Himiko / LiterallyPluto / 60d 6h 19m 43s
[center [size10 Every time I find something I don't like about Let's Go Eevee, I find something I like. I see your game, Nintendo. First time I ran into a Pokemon, I immediately cringed when it was just the Pokemon Go catching mechanic. Like I knew that was a part of it but I guess I assumed that part was JUST when you wanted to catch them.. not the.. WHOLE damn thing. What do you mean I can't kill innocent creatures along my journey to kill other peoples pet creatures?? I enjoy leaving a trail of corpses behind me. How disappointing. But then I see you can change out your party at any time without being in a PokeCenter... Mm.. I'm listening Nintendo. I'm listening. For now I'm going back to WoW cause I'm going to restart Pokemon tomorrow. Don't feel like restarting right now. Also missed tonight's episode of JoJo. Much sad.]]
  -ɢᴜɪᴅᴏ- / Mista / 60d 23h 5m 44s
[Center [size9 "Oh loverboy,
Don't you know we're just like toys?
Don't you feel bad?
Don't you feel bad?"

I'm getting on the plane now to go home, sweet home.
I can't wait until I get to see their faces, I have their presents and now I gotta hide them in my old room-
God, that room is still covered in You Me At Six posters.
Seems like Heaven.

The smell of cookies, the feeling of the fire through the house. The laughter.
I can't wait.
I'll be gone for two week roughly and it'll be the best shit ever.

[youtube ]

[pic ]
  Wings- / 61d 8h 11m 23s
[center [size9 I'm going to be gone for Christmas to see my family in Sheffield.
I can't wait to see Raven and D and the rest of my brothers and sisters.
I can't wait to give them the ukeleles and guitars that they want.
But Raven wants a piano so I'm still figuring that out.

We're all named after birds.
Which is nice because I think Ibis got the best name.

[pic ]
  Wings- / 61d 19h 52m 38s
[center [size10 See my problem right now is that my life pretty much just revolves around Mista at this point. He's a babe and I'm pretty sure I'd leave Setka and Caleb for him. I mean- Bruno and Kira or Mista? Obviously Mista 9 times out of 10. And that's only cause I wont count the 4th time.
I'm just wanting to edit all these pictures I have of him and my ghoul bf, Nero. But my hand is killing me from editing for so long with a mouse instead of a tablet.
Speaking of mice, Mr. Cowboah, if mice are something you get into, I currently have 3. If you'd like to know everything you need to know without worrying about if the online info you're getting is "petsmart grade" info or "been breeding pet mice for years" info, feel free to ask about it. Believe me when I say we spent ALOT of time reading and reading and reading about them. Then after we got them, reading some more. Sometimes its easier to get info from one set place than to pick and choose what sounds right from what sources.

I guess all I have left to say is Hibachi and Aquaman tomorrow with Desmond is gunna be great and a good distraction from Rami dying our hair to look like fucking [size7 Sage.]

P.S. Setka let me get a full sleeve tattoo of Mista pls and thanks.

edit: had to change my pic to this. This is my new favorite now. Fuck me.]
  -ɴᴇʀᴏ- / Mista / 62d 19h 34m 35s
[Center ɪ ᴡᴀs ᴛᴏʟᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ'ᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ᴡᴇʟʟ. ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪs ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴɪɴɢ ɪs ᴀ ᴠɪʀᴜs ғʟᴀʀɪɴɢ ᴜᴘ. ɪᴛ ᴄᴀɴ ʙᴇ ᴛʀɪɢɢᴇʀᴇᴅ ᴠɪᴀ sᴛʀᴇss, ᴏʀ ᴇxᴘᴏsᴜʀᴇ ᴛᴏ sᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ᴇʟsᴇ ᴡʜᴏ ʜᴀs ᴄʜɪᴄᴋᴇɴ ᴘᴏx/ᴇᴛᴄ. ʟᴇᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴊᴜsᴛ sᴀʏ ɪ ᴀᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏɪɴɢ ᴍʏsᴇʟғ. ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴠᴇʀʏ ᴘᴀɪɴғᴜʟ, ɪ ᴄᴀɴᴛ ᴇxɪsᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ᴡᴀɴᴛɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴊᴜsᴛ sᴀᴡ ᴏғғ ᴍʏ ʟᴇɢ. ɪᴛ ʜᴜʀᴛs ᴛᴏ ᴡᴇᴀʀ ᴄʟᴏᴛʜᴇs ᴏʀ ʙᴇ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀ ᴀ ʙʟᴀɴᴋᴇᴛ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏᴜᴄʜɪɴɢ ɪᴛ sᴇᴛs ᴏғғ ᴍʏ ɴᴇʀᴠᴇs. ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʙʀɪɢʜᴛ sɪᴅᴇ ɪ ɢᴇᴛ ᴀ ᴠᴇʀʏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ɴᴇᴇᴅᴇᴅ ʙʀᴇᴀᴋ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴡᴏʀᴋ. ɪ'ᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ sᴏ ᴍɪsᴇʀᴀʙʟᴇ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ. sᴏ ɪᴛ ᴡᴏʀᴋᴇᴅ ᴏᴜᴛ ɪɴ ᴍʏ ғᴀᴠᴏʀ. ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴏᴄᴛᴏʀs ʙᴀsɪᴄᴀʟʟʏ ғᴜᴄᴋᴇᴅ ᴍʏ ᴛʜʀᴏᴀᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴇ ᴡᴀs ᴀʟʟ "ʏᴇᴀʜ ɪᴛ's ᴘʀᴇᴛᴛʏ ʀᴀᴡ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ", ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ? ᴍᴀɴ. ᴀʟʟ ɪ ᴛᴀsᴛᴇ ɴᴏᴡ ɪs ᴛʜᴀᴛ sʜɪᴛᴛʏ ᴡᴏᴏᴅᴇɴ sᴛɪᴄᴋ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴀɪɴ ᴏғ ᴍʏ ᴛʜʀᴏᴀᴛ ғʀᴏᴍ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴘʀᴏᴅᴅᴇᴅ. ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴀʟsᴏ ᴅʀᴇᴡ ʙʟᴏᴏᴅ-ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ɢᴏᴅ ɪᴛ ᴡᴀsɴ'ᴛ ᴀ ғɪɴɢᴇʀ ᴘʀɪᴄᴋ ᴀɴᴅ ɪᴛ ᴡᴀs ᴅʀᴀᴡɪɴɢ ʙʟᴏᴏᴅ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴍʏ ᴀʀᴍ. ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴏᴄᴛᴏʀ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴍʏ ᴀʀᴍ ɴᴜᴍʙ ᴀs sʜɪᴛ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜ. ᴀɴʏᴡʜᴏ. ɴᴏᴛ sᴜʀᴇ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴛᴏᴅᴀʏ ᴡɪʟʟ ʙʀɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ. ɪ'ᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴍᴇᴀʟ ʀᴇᴘʟᴀᴄᴇᴍᴇɴᴛs ᴛᴏ ᴀᴠᴏɪᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟᴇ ᴏғ ᴄᴏᴏᴋɪɴɢ, ᴡᴀʟᴋɪɴɢ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴄʟᴇᴀɴɪɴɢ. ɴᴏᴛ sᴜʀᴇ ɪғ ɪᴛ's ʙᴇᴇɴ ʜᴇʟᴘɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ ʟᴏsᴇ ᴡᴇɪɢʜᴛ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪᴛ's ᴅᴇғɪɴɪᴛᴇʟʏ ᴅᴇʟɪᴄɪᴏᴜs. ʏᴇsᴛᴇʀᴅᴀʏ ɪ ᴅɪᴅ ᴀ ᴠᴇʀʏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ɴᴇᴇᴅᴇᴅ ᴅᴇᴇᴘ ᴄʟᴇᴀɴɪɴɢ ᴏғ ᴍʏ ʜᴇʀᴍɪᴛ ᴄʀᴀʙ ʙᴏᴡʟ ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴏᴏʟs. ɪ ᴏғғᴇʀᴇᴅ ʙᴇᴅ ғʀᴇsʜ ғᴏᴏᴅ ʙᴜᴛ ᴀʟᴀs ɪ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ sʜᴇ ɪs ʟᴏɴᴇʟʏ. ʜᴇʀ ғʀɪᴇɴᴅ ʜᴀs ʙᴇᴇɴ sᴜʙᴍᴇʀɢᴇᴅ ғᴏʀ ᴏᴠᴇʀ 4 ᴍᴏɴᴛʜs. ɴᴏᴛ ᴜɴᴄᴏᴍᴍᴏɴ ғᴏʀ ʜᴇʀᴍᴍɪᴇs ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ. sʜᴇ's ʙᴇᴇɴ ʟᴇᴛʜᴀʀɢɪᴄ sᴏ ɪ'ᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴋᴇᴇɴ ᴏɴ sᴘʀᴀʏɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴀɴᴋ ᴛᴏ ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ɪᴛ ʜᴜᴍɪᴅ, ɪɴ ᴄᴀsᴇ ɪᴛ's ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ sʜᴇ ᴄᴀɴᴛ ʙʀᴇᴀᴛʜᴇ. ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴢᴄᴄᴜʀᴀᴛᴇ ᴡᴏʀᴋɪɴɢ ʜʏᴅʀᴏᴍᴇᴛᴇʀ/ᴛʜᴇʀᴍᴏsᴛᴀᴛ. sᴏ I ᴀᴍᴘᴇᴅ ᴜᴘ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴇᴀᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴜᴍᴘᴇᴅ ʜᴇʀ ɪɴ ᴡᴀᴛᴇʀ ᴛᴏ ɢᴇᴛ ʜᴇʀ ʜʏᴅʀᴀᴛᴇᴅ ᴊᴜsᴛ ɪɴ ᴄᴀsᴇ. ɪ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ʜᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ'ᴍ ᴅᴏɪɴɢ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴍʏ ᴅᴇᴘʀᴇssᴇᴅ ᴀss ᴄᴀɴ ᴍᴜsᴛᴇʀ ғᴏʀ ʜᴇʀ. ɪ ᴀᴅᴏʀᴇ ʜᴇʀ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ. ɪғ sʜᴇ ᴘᴀssᴇs ɪ ᴅᴏɴᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪ'ᴅ ᴅᴏ. ʜᴇ ʜᴀs ʜɪs ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ sᴇᴛ ᴏɴ ᴀ ᴍᴏᴜsᴇ, ʏᴇs, ʙᴜᴛ ɴᴇᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴇᴜɢᴇɴᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴍʏ ʙᴀʙɪᴇs. ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ɪ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴡᴏʀʀʏ ᴛᴏᴏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴛᴇʟʟ ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴀ ᴄʀᴀʙ ɪs ᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ᴛʜᴇʏ ɴɪʙʙʟᴇ sᴏ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ... ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ sᴛʀᴇssᴇs ᴍᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ, ɪᴛ ɪs ɴᴏᴛ ʜᴇʟᴘɪɴɢ ᴛʜɪs ᴠɪʀᴀʟ sʜɪᴛ. ᴛʜᴀᴛ's ᴀʟʟ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜɪs ᴍᴏʀɴɪɴɢ, ᴊᴏᴜʀɴᴀʟ.
  / ArthurMorgan / 62d 20h 21m 9s
[center [size9 Maybe I was too hard on her...
It's been three years since everything...
Maybe she doesn't know how to help me-
I need her back.
in my life.

If she backstabs me again,
Then it's over-
I don't know if I'm doing the right thing
But for once,
I regret my decision.
I need to find her.

[pic ]
  Wings- / 62d 21h 31m 25s
I can start taking my photography hobby again. I may be getting a camera and even if I don't, I'll still be able to take stunning close ups of my flowers with my phone. I miss being in school for photography and cinematography... I just can't look at the computer long enough to edit photos and videos anymore. Hell, I can only play LOL for like 30 minutes every other day.

I also go to get my kidneys checked out tomorrow. This should be fun... I'm really anxious about this appointment too.

Can we please stop pointing out my under eye bags too and saying it's because I'm on drugs?! That's fucked that you would even say that after I literally ran to the hospital to see you. For the record, if sleep deprivation due to leg pains is a drug, then shit, I'm guilty as charged.
  Himiko / LiterallyPluto / 63d 7h 33m 13s
[center [size9 Today I kinda hit that rock bottom I was talking about.
Today was the day someone got out of jail.
The day where someone turned up to my apartment after being bailed out of prison in England.
For half a million pounds.
Oh, and her words were venom but I was her child.

"Oh, I'm sorry I birthed you if that makes you feel better."
What a waste of air.

"What did I do to deserve this?"
You know what you did.
Now take your punishment from me.
Because I'm not helping you.

[pic ]
  Wings- / 63d 7h 39m 40s
[center [pic]]
[Center [size10 I miss the ocean. The sand between my feet. The sound the waves made. Smoking a cigarette at night out there kept me sane.]]

[Center [size10 or maybe it was you?]]

[Center [size10 Guess we will never know.]]
  SaltyPretzel / 63d 12h 56m 57s

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