When you feel really bad for them but everytime you hear the thing it still makes you laugh and grin
Also gonna make the switch to Instinct tonight, I'm getting tired of seeing all this red despite my love for its many variations, my line of traitourous deeds continues!!
These three towns will be decorated in an electrical haze of glitter and gold by dawn tomorrow.. B]
My interview went surprisingly well. I was nervous, sure, but when she asked me to put an outfit together, I kinda let go of nerves and went with the flow. Like I was shopping for myself. She liked the outfit so much, she took pictures of it. She said I was the only one willing to do that part of the interview.
Deleted that last post because the unvierse called ME a dumb bitch and said I am not tf ready lmaooo. Told me to sit down.
Life has been a little rocky and I’m at a fork in the road once again. My heart says indulge in passions, but we are tried. And my brain says it is best to give it my all before I go off on my lonesome. The cards say, be patient. Things will be what they will.
[center [size11 News flash for me; I now understand how it feels to have someone so close to you almost taken away by death. I do not like to fancy that feeling again, I found a new reason to live among the other two. I don't want him to do that again, he takes a lot of drugs for seizures and I guess he tried to overdose. Scared the shit out of me.
He promised me he was okay and he lied, and it's not that I'm angry or disappointed in him, I'm just plain worried for him despite [i his mother and a worker of some mental institute or something clearing out his room of everything dangerous. ] Still, I'm just flat out worried and I physically feel like shit.
I threw up everywhere yesterday and the had my first ever panic attack, yay me! It honestly felt like the world was coming down on me and that I couldn't breathe and-- I don't know man, it's really weird. Anyways, my parents made me go to school while seriously sick and won't take me out.
I met Rix's dad yesterday and it went pretty well. He even laughed when I called him 'Father-In-Law' and I smiled while curled up into a laundry basket. Haven't got to writing much music after yesterday, I'm gonna take a few day hiatus from songwriting.
[i "I'm sorry, at least I know what those words mean." ]
Yesterday they ran tests. She wasn't sure that was what she thought it was. So, play it safe, she ran tests. The look of uncertainty on her face scared me and it still does.
[center [size11 Today's gonna be hard, shit's getting real in school and at home and I hope that everything works out. Rix wants to call me during her therapist appointment today so she, her therapist and I can talk about what's been happening with us. It's just a really weird thing for a therapist is care for others other than their patient. Maybe because I have a huge impact on Rix.
Maybe a bigger impact than I thought originally. When I told her I wanted to be singing in filled stadiums and that I wanted to be singing to help people and inspire them, she stood behind me and still does. But I don't know what to say, her friends says that ever since she met me, she changed from an angor bean to a sweet bean.
It's really confusing. I-- She wants to come out as a male too, her mom just won't pay for the surgery and makes Rix cry just because [i her mom won't use the 'He,His,Him' pronouns. ]Honestly, It's all bullshit and I don't really care for her mom but in two months, Rix is going to move closer to me than ever .
OH & GA
Whoever realized this? But anyways, Rix wants me to also be on a call with her dad to help her explain that she wants to be a he and that he might snap on her. But her dad is a chill artist so I see nothing that's gonna happen but I'm still worried, just me overthinking.
Anyways, last night it shocked me when Rix told me she told her therapist about me and that her therapist [b indeed ] cared for me. The last time I went to a therapist, I was pushed to think quickly and give explanations for the shit I did when I truly didn't know until later on when I wasn't going to therapy.
And so Rix wants to me to explain my problems to her therapist since she was an extra long appointment but her therapist might not allow that in the first place. And when it comes to other people, mostly adults, I find I can't really confide in them without something bad happening.
Not my fault my step parents treat me like shit and only let me play music because they know how important it is to me. However, they never give me the appropriate attention and I think that's a huge part of my drama shit. I want people to fucking look at me and gasp, I want people to fucking afraid of me when I do care too much
I have some things to work out with myself ad I'm ready to change into a better person for Rix if I have to. I guess it is time to toughen up and stop being a complete bitch and let life be life, maybe that'll help with the repeating lyrics I keep writing. Or maybe I have a lyricist block.
I'm just really nervous for today guys, fingers crossed.
Edit: I forgot to change Rix's pronouns from she to he, fuck I'm just too lazy to deal with it. And last night, [b OUR ] cover of Bring Me The Horizon's 'Antivist' was recorded and as soon as I find it, I'm going to [i abuse ] the link.
Watching a mother argue with her seven year old is literally the funniest shit ever.
“So you don’t wanna play Minecraft with me.... which means you don’t care about me”
I was d y i n g . Anyway I got all dolled up and then I forgot my tarot cards.
Appointment day. It's a scary day for me. I'm not disclosing why. I'm just scared.
[center [size11 Been heading into the studio a lot more recently, it's not like anybody really uses Studio 47 anymore. I mean, it's in the Square so everybody should know it's there but no, it's just inhabited by my band and I. My mate has told me to start focusing my songs on other people's perspectives of things like what is it like to other people to see someone go through something [i so ] dark?
I mean I don't understand what she means yet cos I haven't been able to try it yet. But I have an idea that is worth trying with the idea of someone seeing another person break down and go to the edge. Then this watcher tries to help the suicidal person and barely keeps him alive. That's what the song is gonna be about.
Anyways, today my mate has to do a project with her sleeves rolled up and [i boy does that not terrify me with the pain she inflicts upon herself. ] So I've been trying to make her happier than usual because ya know, wouldn't you do that for your mate? Anyways, I also have a song written for our love, I just haven't broken it down into rhythms and instrumentals yet.
I wish everything goes well today for her and I, we need something good to happen. I can't wait until the day we meet again with you moving to center of the eastern part of America and me being in the Southeast part. I love you lots, I can't understand and even get the words out of my mouth to symbolize our love.
And it's hard for me to be wordless.
[center [size10 Take notes, I'm an easy man to please. Morelia, Wow and Omaha Steak seasoning and I'm happy. Caleb may not love doing achievements or collecting mounts but the glory in each achievement we struggled to get but ended up accomplishing was so fucking satisfying. MMM. Look at these beautiful mounts. Thanks babe, you the sweetest.
[center [size8 Btw the one with the moon is my character and I fucking love him. His name's Lortheral. Stinky ass Death Knight with a terrible personality. The best.]]
Take notes people, this is what you do for your boo.
[center [size10 Name is mentioned to use as an example of people who carry on my banter despite "not caring" or "having too much to do" or "not wanting a fight". Posts just to prove my point. Okay?? Thanks I guess? Coolio.]]
[center [size10 If that website was a scam btw, I'm gunna be pissed. Can't wait to see what their reply to my email will be when I told em I'm two seconds away from filing a case on paypal. Cunts.]]
Bench excuse me I've been drawing and working on my dog psychology classes GET OUTTA MAH ASS PLS IM TRYING TO BE A NICE PERSOn I'm even applying for FAFSA
Why you do this
boo have a nice day
Haha, 102.3 fever. Fu
Maybe it's just the heat from Mun's posts that traveled to my state and caused this sinus problem. Jk jk jk.
Anyways, this person is pulling an old me. Where I'd block and unblock people to see what they were saying in JE and other chats we were in. It's draining and if you wanna block someone. Keep. Them. Blocked. "Being nice", it's a piss poor excuse for being insecure and nosey about what's being said.
All posts are either in parody or to be taken as literature. This is a roleplay site. Sexual content is forbidden.