[center [pic http://profilepicturequotes.com/wp-content/uploads/10001sd15000/12737/ptg_confident_inspiring.jpg]]
[size10 I just feel sorry for people that are so ashamed of being themselves, that they gotta hide parts of who they are. I legit can only feel sorry for them. It's gotta suck , to be so unhappy with yourself that you can't 100% be yourself.
Guess that's just part of life tho. It's not easy, accepting who you are. Especially when society's all, "oh you gotta be this way and like these things." And then shames you and makes fun of you when you don't like those things.
But after being shamed 99% of my life I'm just kinda like fuck it lmao, and I'm glad that most of my friends aren't afraid to be themselves.
[center [size10 idk man I'm surprised that how I am about my kpop/k hiphop I haven't drove everyone I know nuts. But I guess since I come out of the gates running at the mouth about all these boys/men it let's people know what I'm like so I don't have to hide my interests and I'm 100% accepted by my friends and they seem to at least enjoy how happy my interests make me. Same to them tho, I may not know much about some of their interests but I think of them when I see stuff from said interests.]][center [size10 idk why anyone would ever be ashamed of something they're passionate about and make excuses to hide said shame.]][center [size10 Regardless I adore everyone who tolerates me obsessive fanboying. God bless y'all, y'all deserve some god damn medals lol]][center [size10 In other news I need to track down more gifs of my smol birb boy because god bless. [s [size10 and maybe some pictures of sleepy would be nice asking for pictures of black nine is obviously asking for too much far too quickly]]][center [size10 Oh I'm also prolly gonna die so I just want to let all you children know I won't fucking miss y'all and y'all on your own. God Bless Irma.]]
[size10 Honestly though, I'm still pretty mad about that ... That I attract the kind of people that take credit for who I am, lol. Or well. Only had one person try that shit and it still just makes me angry. There's a reason I barely talk to that friend anymore. Well, a lot of reasons actually. I attract a lot of bad people for friends, it seems. And exes. But I'm starting to find good friends, and I'm happy.
I've got Heichou, Mochi, Koneko, Xochi, Megs, and a lot of others. I'm really learning what good friends are, and I'm happy that I am. I'd beat up anyone that tried to hurt them. Maybe my real life friends are lacking a bit right now, but it's improving. There's a girl in one of my classes that's pretty cool. We've bonded over anime. She likes Studio Ghibli.
I've gotten a bit closer to an old friend. She's a stoner, which is something I'm not, but she's super into Wonder Woman and other nerdy things. I've got friends that I play Magic with. I've got a friend that's super into DnD, to the extent that she bought pink dice because her DnD character loves pink, and I dunno.
I've made friends with some really awesome people and I'm happy about it. It's so so nice, being in a place where my friends like the same things that I do, and don't have ulterior motives for pursuing friendship with me.
You guys really don't know how happy I am to be friends with you.
Honestly ... Thank you.
I find it increasingly alarming that I have no idea how to talk to you, and I can't really figure out why that is bothering me so much.
[size10 To add to my 1st post, mostly because I matured and my own definition of maturing that applies only to myself is that it's just not my style anymore. I also do not speak to strangers, I speak when spoken to.
Explains why I don't have many friends in college, I just come to classes, do work, study and go home.
Enough of that though, I don't think I got an A on my test, typical since I did it weeks early :( I'm waiting impatiently to see my grade.. sigh. This semester sucks.
But I'm trying to speed up the process of things.
Gotta graduate and get the big checks~
[size10 I wasted too much time in high school and part of college pretending to be things I wasn't, and hiding aspects of myself as to not piss people off. And honestly, I'll be damned if I do that again. I'll be damned if I let someone push me away from things I enjoy. I'm just sick of it, lmao. Sick of caring. I mean ;; I quit caring months ago, but the fact that I used to let people dictate what I like makes me a bit mad at myself. I'm just glad I'm not that much of a pushover anymore, and I'm glad that I don't hide aspects of myself. So what if I'm a nerd? I'll wear that title with pride.
I'll feel no shame, like I did in high school. I'm me and I'm sick of the guilt people have tried to make me feel over being myself. My feelings are mine, my likes are mine, and while people aren't trying to claim credit for me being me
gotten sick of some of the stuff people put me through
and while it's said and done, I just don't ever want it to happen again
I'm me and no one gets to take credit for that.
[size10 My cafeteria is the weeb spot.. I see anime shirts everywhere and I'm sitting here trying to math but this group is like debating Naruto. I'm listening super closely like ya'll really triggered me. I'm aware I'm not a part of the conversation but I'm mentally inserting my opinions like.. fuck boruto.
A part of me wishes I could say something but I'm starting to get 2nd hand embarrassment just listening to them, they are so loud.
Ah, it brings back memories from middle school.
I used to be like that lmao
Now I'm just.. like.. that part of me buried inside and won't come out anymore. I still like all that shit, don't get me wrong. I just don't make it obvious anymore ; ;
I'll only wear my D.VA jacket and that's it these days.
You're a total sweetheart
Is that why you have affairs behind your lovers back and pray that no one else knows and try to drag me into it? Aha ha, so silly
On a much lighter note, I have water polo tournament at 7pm tonight and then another one about an hour away from 8am-5:30pm
I'm going to buuuurn
[center [size10 You know what's rad about not self diagnosing yourself or assuming you have some disease or disorder? It makes it that much more valid and eye opening when you are or aren't diagnosed with it. It can be a weight lifted or something that helps explain wtf has been going on.]]
[center [size10 Regardless I'm glad my therapist is taking her time to talk to me more before deciding if I have PTSD or not because I'd rather her rule out everything else and tbh do I really want that shit added to my shit list anyways? I really don't of I'm being honest. If it happens tho it's not like I can do much about it lol.]]
[center [size10 Life is rad but also super shitty. I kind of love being alive but also wouldn't mind being put out of my misery. Tbh this impending storm doesn't help nor the sleep deprivation. I hope I don't get the nasty part of this storm not that it matters, Matthew knocked out my power last year and that's honestly my main concern cause once that happens my anxiety is gonna take full hold of me and it won't be fun.]][center [s [size10 I should try downloading some music on my back up phone just so I maybe have that but lol that prolly won't help]]]
[https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1Qgnqz5UEdg What does it matter no one can handle someone that can't feel]
[google-font https://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Josefin+Slab][Josefin+Slab [#9F81F7 [b [size16 Dunno what I did to deserve the brunt of your foul mood. The snappy comments and constant exasperated sighs with a follow up of "nothing" when I ask what's wrong are really bothersome.
Anytime you do something sweet that makes me feel for you, you manage to do some shit that reminds me why I'm unhappy. No wonder I need to drink so much.]]]]
[size10 should be doing homework but fuck it. almost all of it isn't due until later tomorrow, lol. so I'm in no rush. I need to go bed soon. still gotta be up at a decent time, even if my homework isn't due right away.
but man, I can't stop listening to this song on repeat. I'm a sucker for these guys. oh well. I'll probably work on my homework and listen to this. not much else for me to do.]
honestly the thought I have to fight over and over is that there is no point
but the thought is winning out right now
I just got out of FL in July, so I'm praying for y'all who're still there. <3 =< I'll save up more to donate. I managed to get some together for Houston and I'll do it again, cause I know Irma is gonna hit hard and it's better to have some set aside just in case, you just never know with big storms like this.
Btw you fine af but I am SO mfkn sick so touch me less, okay precious? I don't feel well, and I don't feel right. Until I GET right, focus on a haircut. That shit is DEAD, fam, you need coconut oil or like some shea butter or both. You got dandruff the size of church windows, fix it or I'mma lop it all off when you ain't looking. Cheers, bitch.
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