[size10 "Well here I go, I'm so tired lately and Alex shares the same feelings. But I find it hard to fall asleep at night, lying awake until the early morning, until my vision fades. Everything is black when I dream. Then the same thing happens every morning, I feel drained but I still walk, I still run, I still smile and giggle. This isn't meaning to be depressing. I'm just really tired."
"When I'm like this, it's really hard to get back into the swing of things, and I end up editing random shit that doesn't matter. I need to have a list or some shit like that. Because I have so many profiles to make but so less time to do it. "
"I guess I'll work on my profile for my bro/friends, because they matter so much to me right owo. I need to come up with a name for it, I'll be working on that.."
[size10 I want your attention very badly, and not getting it frustrates me. The fact that I even want your attention frustrates me. I'm just so frustrated about it, haha. It's silly though.
I'm cold. This house is cold. My mind is everywhere at the moment.
Claymore is life at the moment. It's so good, ahah ... Made me cry a few times already.
I guess .. that's all. A lot of thoughts, but not many I want to share at the moment. I just ... Wanna keep to myself for a bit.
First they brought Hellboy into injustice 2, now holy fucking shit..,it's my cowabunga dudes, the mean green, the FUCKING NINJA TURTLES HOLY SHIT
[left [pic https://i.imgur.com/uk3UUjK.gif]][center [size10 I've been horribly reminded as to why I dislike doing yardsales with my neighbor. It's not the waking up early or the physical activity involved in setting up or putting shit away it's that I do 90% of the fucking work when it comes time to close up the yard sale. And I don't mean it as in she makes me do the heavy lifting literally, but she takes a whole hour to put away one rack of clothes while resting almost every 5 minutes and then leaves me alone to pack up 7 whole tables of shit into boxes and then wonders why I take longer than she does. Then while waiting on me to finish, she goes inside in the a.c to sit and watch tv with out even offering to help. I mean I would say no anyways, but honestly it's the point behind it. It's even worse when the whole time you're being told to hurry up cause she wants to get over to her boyfriend's to eat dinner. Like yeah ali, I don't wanna be here either but you ain't helping to get either of us tf outta here any sooner.]]
[center [size10 I mentioned having lost some weight in my face and was told I "still had a double chin" like okay thanks i guess. Then was told I had sunken cheeks??? Idk with this woman. Also anytime I mentioned me trying to learn korean or something I'd learned while trying to learn korean she'd roll her eyes and idk why??? she also made some stupid comment about how i could then go to north korea, seduce the leader in charge there and then when i'd gotten super close to him i could murder him. like okay or I might just go to south korea and you'll never see me or hear from me again cause fuck you guys.]]
[center [size10 In other news I got some money and got a chance to go bug bro at his job and even got some freebie stuff from one of my old managers. I also get to bug him tomorrow on his day off and give him the dumb pun gifts I've acquired for him. [s [size10 a little pot and some shrooms from the 70's]]][center [size10 Honestly tho I guess today hasn't been super shitty outside of the yardsale, but still wouldn't mind bashing my face in tbvh lol]][center [size10 Now to go finish this lesson and then go smoke a cigarette and ponder doing some cleaning before bed cause holy fuuuuuck I feel like i got run over.]]
I honestly think I need to move out and soon. My friend offered me a room and I may take them up on their offer. They said rent free. Well, too bad, I’ll do the cooking, cleaning, and put gas in their car until I get the van put into my name.
I just can’t take the stress of being a caretaker and my sister thinking she owns everything I buy for myself. My sister even told me that once I get paid, that I have to buy her things. Nope. Sorry, not sorry. My paychecks go to part of the car insurance, to pay off my missing appointment fees, and get something for my niece for her first Christmas with us.
Feels nice to be on a computer again I'll be able to be more active to everything now!
I wish I could ever make you understand how much you mean to me.
But I deserve to be ignored
[size10 [i "Monday, I was asked "Why do I not have a boyfriend?"
"I'm going to be honest. I find every gender hot as fuck! And as I've said millions of times, I will not date anyone if I can't love myself, what makes people think I can love them? It's true, the world will still turn without you. I'm not rude, I'm just blunt. I have failure written on my body, like many other words. I've never actually liked myself even at a very young age. Can you blame me? I was going through my gender dysphoria. Still am at the moment, because people like this person who asked me why I was single, still does this as "jokes."
"My gender dysphoria is not something to laugh and point at, it's pretty simple. I want to be called a man, then I should be called as such since I want to be one, since I feel like one. Soon to look and be one. Don't misgender me as a "joke", because it's not. It's not even close of being funny. People hurt themselves because of words like that, people get upset, I have depression and anxiety, so I can't stand up for myself, but I can write it down, where you are not.. so it's kinda pointless. But hey I'm proving a point, okay, not really. I just really wanted to rant and rave about this topic, so hints my ado for the night. "
How could you do that to someone? How could you sleep with someone and then not talk to them again, we still get along well when we hang out but now that you have what you wanted you're not going to say a fucking word to me! Really??? For Christ sakes fuckinh grow a pair. Not to mention We both found out that you're step son is in hospital and yet you don't even bother to tell me if he is okay, you jsut look at the message that's just bullshit... Why, why do I still fucking love you?? If this is how is it going to be, you get what you want not talk to me for a month, I then become the fool and think things will change but it only jsut repeats itself over and over. I've tried cutting you out of my life and I can't, I just can't. I keep looking for answers on how to get you back and I can't even fucking do that right.. I want to ask for another chance but at the same time I don't think I could handle the rejection.
[center [size10 got through my processing, so happy, the military makes ya wait. it's not over yet but i am ready to go. oh pat on ya back me. i need to fill my time with missed kdramas and my beautiful bias Daniel <3. welp forward and onward.]]
[center [size10 I feel like a horrible person, neglecting parts of block b and not even trying to figure out their names. Also not realizing one of the members is covered in more tattoos than Zico and then freaking the fuck out because how the fuck do you miss THAT many Fucking tattoos and why was it the Fucking neck tattoo that finally made you search too see what all he had for tattoos. He has tattoos on his hands you Fucking moron how tf you that blind. If it were Zico and a tattoo that was tiny af on like his knee cap you woulda been all over that shit but nah we over here neglecting Taeil. Fucking disgrace is what you are. Now we gotta apologize to Taeil if we ever met him good thing were starting to try and learn korean.]]
I'm so frustrated I feel like I'm gonna puke. I'm so upset.
Today wasn't even a good day either everyone at school were terrible, I found out I freaking need glasses, and my family is just breaking down and now this. I don't need this fucking stress okay? We don't need this. Stop putting it on us! You are being freaking psychotic again. Hes always saying how you've been so good lately then you do shit like this. Please just stop. For the love of god.
[size10 I love this picture. It's so cute, I was wondering when I was going to get it, I didn't wait that long, she was pretty quick and it's so fucking cute.
Thank you, Khaleesi.
[Center [pic https://78.media.tumblr.com/46c219de73450a0f5ae1e354adf4463e/tumblr_ouwpcv57RX1w4zse0o1_1280.gif]
[Patrick+Hand [#73545e I guess if I just say it nicely, I can finally make it right. I like you so much. I absolutely like you. It's nothing I've experienced before, I am so caught up with working my poor booty off that I simply can't make time for you. Time to speak or think of you. But those spare moments that I do - it's like a first kiss. Sweet and warm. I like you to bits and to pieces and by God I haven't the slightest idea what to do about it. I like you and it frustrates me. I know my words mean nothing because we don't ever be something but I've never actually liked someone of the same gender who wasn't straight. So straight that it hurt to see myself fall again for some cute quirky laugh of theirs. I was going to say harsh words but instead I decided to post about you. Because even if it seems like people who have far too much "spare" time say bothersome things - I'll be here with love for you. Blurgh. I said it. It's such a gross word. Puppy love. Something not too serious. Of sorts. Don't take my words serious. I can't stand the fact I want to be with you. And that things just don't work like that.
Sincerely, Stupidly admiring you.
Here I am... thinking about you again, my sweetest Angel. I will never know your face, your laugh. Your tiny hand I will never hold. You would've been beautiful, or maybe handsome. Your great, great grandmother is there, and I am certain she hasn't let you go since she made it there and met you. I hope heaven is as lovely a place as I would paint it for you. I wish I could've protected you from him. Protected myself better too. I miss your kicks, lord knows they were strong. I was so close to seeing you... I am so happy you were mine. I love you sweet Angel, and I always will....
All posts are either in parody or to be taken as literature. This is a roleplay site. Sexual content is forbidden.