[Center [#d2cee9 I was enjoying the weather today after work, [s nearly fainted while my dumb-dumb was at it,] by some stroke of luck I came across a smol jumper! She was enjoying the sunshine when I captured her. She's named Wuye. I made a clear deli cup enclosure, that my hoader self saved-thank the lord, and sanitized a cut off loofah. She got a small meal thankfully. She is just a delight? Looked at me slowly approach her. She tilted her head to look under her and at me. I'm so excited to start our bond together. She's actually my secret friend. Heh heh.
[Center [youtube https://youtu.be/j1rHpUENpaU]]
[center [size14 [font "Courier New" [#696969 ~ ]]]] [i [size8 [font "Courier New" [#696969 "I want you to hate me, but in the end I think you already did..."
[center [size14 [font "Courier New" [#696969 ~ ]]]]
[size10 I am free from the hell that is finals week.
Now, to barely get any sleep before working an eight hour shift tomorrow.
At least I can come home and relax for once.]
[center [size14 [font "Courier New" [#696969 ~ ]]]] [i [size8 [font "Courier New" [#696969 "I’ll always treasure the naïvety of the past we've shared. Our bodies grew much faster than our minds, but together we got good at stopping time. My teen angst drove me to hurt myself, and I made you watch; God, the pain I must have caused, but by staying around you saved my life.."
"Watching my parents, made me look for something broken.. And there you were. I wanted to try to help you pick up the pieces.. With all the characteristics of a mom; a familiarity of home. You made me smile when deep down I felt like crying, you calm me down, you must hate me.. I was the worst to you. But I want you to know your never alone and me and the guys love you! Even Tz he still and we'll ALWAYS love you."
"Sorry I felt like writing about you today to brighter up your day or at least calm me of this anxiety of people hating me.. I just felt terrible about how I ever treated you.."
"I love you, we all love you.. please don't forget that.."
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[Center [size10 Shits been pretty good lately. Better than usual I'd say. Went out with their friend Ren, ate alot, got a pretty rad smelling Loki cologne thats got his helmet as a cap. Kinda cool having something with a smell for his altar, especially since whoever was in charge of making the scent did their research and actually put many of Loki's associated smells in it. Also got a long, rainbow dream catcher thats really nice though Mio still wants a more traditionally colored one. Loki pulled pranks on us at the mall so that was nice and Ren almost drove us off the road in laughter at hearing about how Loki killed Baldr. Always nice talking to Ren especially since he knows about all of us and is fine talking to whoever is out and isn't judgey about beliefs and stuff. Ren's also gunna be giving us a buzzcut soon which we're stoked about. Kasvah is still stanky but doing better. Seems like most everything is falling into place. Aside from Davey's mom.. even his dad was supportive of him moving in and yet she's still being a massive cunt about it. His dad suggested just spending every weekend here or even like a month until he can move in and I just fucking laughed. Cause like fuck, Davey's mom knows he's gunna move here in the next few months and it's literally only ten minutes away from her house but pitches a fucking fit over him wanting to spend a weekend over here if he spent the last one already. And gets pissed off if he asks for an extra day, even for something important. And you think she's gunna be okay with every weekend or a fucking month? Lol right. Okay. So as per usual, everything else is working out. Everything else can be figured out. Except for Davey's selfish fucking prick of a bitch mother who "loves him" so much and just wants the best for him. Yet doesn't care enough to take him to get therapy or a doctor when he needs it. Some fucking mothers shouldn't be mothers. I hate that woman.]]
I got a job. I start tomorrow and it pays okay. I'll be able to save up for my trip to see my sister-friend and a new pair of glasses. That and I can finish paying off my missed appointment fees for my therapist.
I'm just happy. Now if I can get that job at the botanical gardens. I would be ecstatic.
[center [pic https://i.imgur.com/l2KOJOy.gif]][center [size10 Tell me how someone who talks themselves up so big can't work at a job more than ONE day because he feels people are putting him down for his heritage? Do you know the only two jobs I've legitimately had as an adult were such shit, but some how I managed to stay at both of them much longer than I should have because I needed money. First one I was constantly under stress and worrying about if this was the day I was going to come in and get fired, or I would be reminded that I should have been fired when the owner had wanted me to be. I stayed at that job for a whole fucking year before they finally let me go because of a confusing schedule. The second job, I had a manager who would yell at me and tell me how me doing this or do that would get me fired. He would even yell at me when we had customers and I would walk back home after work having a fucking panic attack, but again I stayed there 6 months. I'll give him credit he worked there too, so he knows exactly what that place was like, but regardless there were obvious things that I shouldn't have tolerated but I did because that is how I work. I don't argue with authority, and I don't try to upset anyone, I just let them walk all over me when I need a job. But he isn't like that, he argues with authority, he raises his voice, the times I raise my voice are few it's kind of pathetic when I do raise my voice because I legit just wind up sounding like a child.]]
[center [size10 But at least I can admit being a child, and immature and all those things. I know I can be lazy and yeah sometimes I say it's my depression but at least I see it. I don't complain when I wake up and clean something because tbh it needed to be done. I don't say "I'm always doing this" or "I'm always doing that" because it might bother me in the moment but once it's done and over I'm past it. I don't hold onto things for very long unless they are worth holding onto.]]
[center [size10 Case and point, I can let small misunderstanding go, or even small fights, but when I'm in the living room with both of you and you're "smacking her ass" and I can feel she's uncomfortable and is not enjoying it I'm not okay with that. You think that shit is funny but you're the only one laughing and then turn around all lovey dovey trying to apologize. I don't think you understand that unwarranted physical contact of that degree can still be considered abuse. Your gaslighting her with threats that you'll just go back home or break up with her any time shit doesn't go your way or just to get her to shut up is a childish fucking tactic. She doesn't have to tolerate that from you. She doesn't have to tolerate that from anyone. So whatever happens happens, but at this point I hope you grow the fuck up.]]
[center [size10 Side note, punching someone to pay them back for punching you after they apologized and continuously say "no" when you ask them where do they want it and you still fucking punch them that's not okay. I may have laughed when it happened but the second i was alone in my bed room while everyone was asleep i fucking broke down into tears and hated myself because that's the kind of shit I let myself take from others if they so much as wanna do that shit. I like rough shit don't get me wrong, but sometimes I'm just not mentally or emotionally in the mood for it and if I'm saying no that means you should stop and just like find some other way to go about it. idc if you see me as a brother, you don't hit a brother like that, you left a fucking mark on my arm. and if you'll hit me like that you could hit anyone like that tbh.]]
[center [size10 Honestly that's not even everything I wanted to say but it's what's at the front of my mind right now.]]
AdminSWAGistrator / Yukhei
/ 26d 22m 48s
[center [pic https://i.imgur.com/kDvKGeK.gif]]
[center [size10 I really fucking hate my gut tbh. Like I knew that shit about not having to work was shady af, but I just figured I'd leave it be. Seriously tho this shit is tiring and it's not even my relationship. I'd say I'd fight him but lol nah I ain't about to get fucked up and stress you out more than you already are. He wonders why we always get cranky but then he's over here being cranky about shit too. Apparently when we do it tho we need to chill or it's cause our periods. News flash sometimes emotions radiate and if you're in a foul mood it puts us in a foul mood. That how both our signs pretty much work. Like there are many things I could complain about but I don't because I hold that shit in more often than not. All I can say is I'm honestly disappointed cause you seemed so good for her but now it's just devolving and she doesn't deserve to be threatened with you leaving her. She needs some one who can support her and back her up but also heal her not damage her further.]]
[center [size10 at this point if you leave I might be able to just motivate myself to go find a job so I can support myself and get shit me and Clair need and maybe use it to save up money to move but honestly, this could be easily solved by you stepping up to the plate. If you love her fucking act like it. She ain't got time for games and lies and just all around stress and drama. Miss me with that shit and miss her with that shit.]]
Okay... My chest is hurting so like all day I've been distracting myself with my goats or youtube. It started this morning, my fiance's alarm goes off and he just rolls over and turns it off and so I tell him good morning in the sweetest way I can and he just ignored me. I shrug it off since he just woke up but then I try to get him to get up and get ready for work and he just goes off. "I'm not going back to that fucking place, they kept talking about my heritage and talking down" Okay? Well I respond with "Just ignore them and report them to your boss". "You don't understand you weren't there." Yeah you're right I wasn't but that still doesn't mean that you just quit on YOUR SECOND FUCKING DAY! So at this point I'm yelling at him telling him to get up and go to work but also trying to be nice. "I'm not gonna kill myself riding my bike half a mile to work" He kept repeating this and every time it got on my nerves and made me more and more frustrated and pissed. I worked at a shitty ass childcare for 3 months as an intern but I still showed up every fucking day. I made that point and he ignored it and was just all like "I'm tired of Florida and want to go home already" I told him fine go home then and stormed out of the room to watch tv just so I could cool off. Before I left the room he is all like "Fine, I'll just go home and we can break up." I just responded with "I don't care." Then left. Now he's acting like none of this ever happened and that everything is okay. I'm not sure what to do or if I'm the one in the wrong. Oh btw they changed his schedule for 12 pm today and he texted his boss back with "Sorry have a family situation but can come in Sunday". At this point if he ends up getting fired I won't be surprised. Honestly it seems like he doesn't wanna work and just wants to play on his ps4. This honestly seriously bothers but idk what to do. I guess if he does get fired I'm just gonna break up with him or just maybe tell him to go home.
Also one more thing I thought I should add, today while shopping for food he comes with me and is rushing me the whole time and telling me I'm going to go over budget when I have a calculator right in the cart adding shit but he keeps on like "Are you sure you have the right numbers?" Yesss I've done this with Neon 100 times and we were fine. SO like honestly he was just stressing me out and I kinda felt like I didn't get everything I needed but whatever I guess.
[Center [size10 What amazes me is when people keep messaging their pregnant and still obviously taken ex like they want anything to do with them still. Go find some single woman looking for a fucking lazy, stank ass pig to date yeah? She doesn't want you. Would you like your clue in cash or a fucking check lol]]
[center [pic https://i.imgur.com/DgYPzFj.gif]]
[center [size10 My depression is def acting up so i'mma just sleep like i have been and then tryna keep myself distracted with my Chinese and the courses I'm taking on that one site because those are useful things for me to use as distractions. Anything that actually gives me something out of it. Also another good distraction is goatlings cause the wife is on there but also I got flary into it. I should also keep paying attention to my dragons cause I got some nice dragons.]]
[center [size10 Regardless tho I hope everyone is feeling okay and is eating well and just taking care of themselves in general. also if someone is being a little bitch to you make sure you just punch em in the face cause that tends to be a good deterrent. If you're not into violence just invest in some hairspray and spray in the eyes.]]
[center [size10 idk where this post was going but i'm getting off this is my stop lol.]][center 再见。我爱你~]
It amazes me that this site is still active.
Keep on truckin', peeps. It's been one hell of a show.
That ‘T’ shape block in Tetris is so incredibly beautiful.
I hate doctors. Seriously, I go to a dermatologist yesterday, she tells me it's a cyst like growth and it should go away in a few days to a weak. I wake up this morning and the pain in my face has spread to my mouth. I go to my normal doctor. I had to have the thing on my cheek lanced because it was an infection from a bug bite. I didn't even know I was bitten!
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[#d8b0c1 I guess it's safe to say that these feelings are durable. It's apparent that when my heart aches, you come to mind. Something along the lines of finding peace in you. I don't get it. I've certainly have loved before, but for you it's soft. It's warm. And for you it's also lamenting. Over what couldn't be. Never even happened. I miss you with every hour drifting through me. I won't let this die, I refuse. What I have for you has been keeping me straight. It repels me. Ha. I'm so scared of everything. I don't really know what I'm doing. I never have. I'm sorry. For being me.
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