Me, exercising absolutely no control and eating all of this weekends snacks in one sitting. Yep. Not surprised.
Yo its Friday and I'm so glad like tbfh I cant take another second of my classmates. Like bitch no I cant help you clean the kitchen, I'm cleaning the fucking dining room. Try me. Oh and thanks everyone for letting me mop the floor at ten to two when we are leaving in ten min and I don't even have my shit with me. Yep nice
[center I felt like it was my duty to give some love to thanksgiving in my own way since everybody just passes over that shit. It's okay tho i got you boo.]
[center i feel like i'm not me right now. In the "wow i'm feeling hella off right now" sense but also in the "i don't feel like i'm in my body doing this stuff i feel like i'm just watching from the outside." hell maybe I am all i know is maybe this is my mind's way of saying I need a break. maybe hanging out with clair and bro is nice and helpful and this is my mind's way of saying "whoa wait you done that too much already take a break" and so i'm in this jumble of feelings idk]
[center Anyways, enjoy my mediocre edit that took me like 10 minutes to do.]
[center [size10 totes living for this chsracter/oc/edit guhhh it's getting there baby, manga skills climbing <3]]
[center [size10 on another note, chopped off my hair, my brothers begged me not to, I did it. I feel less entitled to comb the shit. Curly black girl hair issues, fucking great, I mean now the curls won't look awkward with my hair short, I am just happy i can get pass the lazy look, fuck yes. Oh ya, Turkey day coming, West indies turkey Day YAS BITCH YAS. [b hmu for a custom oc via pm, sorry not sorry I am testing out on your guys varies styles xD]]]
Wiping my eyes of sleep
drinking yesterday morning's coffee
slam my head against the wall
put the same black jeans on
wear a hat so you can't see my hair
[maybe I'll be fine this time...maybe I won't die this time.. https://youtu.be/czEjLM9b6VM]
[google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Permanent+Marker:400] [div [+white [size7 ...]]
when you're so tired that you accidentally post in realtime and it gets eaten by the glitch.] ಥ_ಥ [div
it was really nice to go to a special olympics event with ash that i didn't need to take pictures at. it was a really relaxing break. lol but this was the first time that i have ever been to a gala. it was really amazing! but also really draining.
i got to see the mother of an old friend of mine at the event. she had donated something to the auction, i think. she looks really different. but there was still something about her that made me feel like i had met her before. lol so i'm glad that i can still recognize her aura. she said that my friend had gone to college and wasn't on social media that much. i would've actually enjoyed to talk to her, again.
tbh- i really hope someone offers to babysit instead of me and ash tomorrow. i like the boy that we babysit, and everything. but i'm so exhausted from all the socializing at the gala, that i just wanna sleep all day. lmao
[right here's to hoping that this weekend can be a relaxing one. ✌]
[+white [size7 ...]]
[Center I miss home. Or I guess the idea of it.
I miss the food that warmed my belly while I sat down playing games.
I miss being the last one at the dinner table savoring each bite. Lips red hot from all the pepper I consumed.
I miss staying up at night talking to you. But you're different now. Angry. Thinking everyone is against you. Not wanting anything.
I miss 3 am adventures at Wal-Mart. It seemed like the only time we got along was when we saw the possibilities. I guess that's what we fell in love with. Possibilities.
I miss cuddling with you. Your stupid claws scratched my dry skin. I miss you two. My babies. I'm sorry. I'm so... so sorry.
I miss calling you and getting shit faced. Watching Netflix together. Our nights together were the best. It really seemed like you would show me all of you as I showed all of me. But. I guess that was a lot to ask for.
I miss so many things about so many people and places.
I've only got my memories.
[size10 maybe I shouldn't talk to you often. I don't wanna get too attached. I always fuck things up. And I just feel like a bother. maybe it's my depression and anxiety but still. I just feel like a bother and like I'm better off in isolation.
Ahh smite finally has gotten played. Of course I'm no good yet but I'm gonna get good! I had a lot of fun dying with babe, this game is one of the few good things I feel I got out of that friendship. I'm so happy. We are gonna play every day. <3 I'm a lucky ducky.
[size10 "I love how today was great and my depression still finds ways to make me flustered. Let me breathe okay? I'm not using my depression as a crutch. I would never, I know I rub it in people's faces but truly I don't mean to. It just comes and goes, and it's truly annoying since this week was amazing. Including today, even know I missed my volleyball game, but I got something better out of it. My life to be a whole lot longer."
"I'm just waiting until I get paid so I can buy my hair dye and fucking kill my hair. Anything to be a step closer to be the self image I want. I will love myself more for every inch I get closer to my goals about my body. People say changing yourself isn't healthy, but for the way I want to change my body, it "is" healthy."
"I just want to be the way I see myself, which is more manly and more emo styled based."
"I really hope, I get to see someone tonight and talk to him, maybe hug him? Probably not.. Since he has been depressed lately. I want to be a caring friend, maybe to show something to myself? I don't know. I just know I can't rely on a negative look on everything. He has been one of my longest friends and stayed through the anger in my life. Kinda like Alex and Rudi. "
"I don't know, I have a lot of mix feelings today, but that's okay. Life goes on, and I move on, and I smile through it. I know, that I well have bumps a lot, but it's my choice if I want to let them eat at me or not."
"I'll be heading off for now, probably well sneak on my phone a bit to talk to Ace & Nat on Facebook. Man Ace made me so happy today of what he tagged me on. See ya."
I'm literally going to rip my hair out if I cant get it cut. The panic attacks are just getting worse and it needs to go. Every time someone says they will do it they flake on me or they just have no way to do it. I'm ready to scream. Someone save me from this nasty ass shit.
[center [size10 Let's play "how much can neon cry over this boi's attention"]][center [size10 is2g if I see him on the streets we fighting. 100% if I see him imma just take his ass down. My depression is still lingering for similar reasons as earlier but fuckkkkk good times man good times. Gonna drag someone else into this chaos come Friday. Mmmmyessss bestie better get ready to get rekt]][center [size10 I'm prolly gonna have to fight myself soon as well cause holy Fuck why can't I just have one thing. Stop thinking. Bro said don't overthink shit. There is literally nothing to over think. Leave shit be let us enjoy this newly found attention we love so much. Like God damn this is exactly what we want so fucking chill]]
/ 8d 22h 30m 26s
[size10 I miss you but I'm too terrified to let you know. Don't wanna bother you.
It honestly sucks, being there kind of person that's too scared to initiate talking first and stuff. I'm so lame.
Ugh... Feel like I'm gonna get sick. It sucks. Especially since I have work tomorrow. I don't wanna not go because money and my manager will probably get pissed if I call off. Especially if I don't call off early. Idk ... I just feel like shit right now.
I wish it wasn't such a big deal to call off ... I can't help if I'm sick ....
[left [pic https://i.imgur.com/kAJ4m63.gif]]
[center [size10 next time i see this boi on the streets i'mma fight him. how dare he not know about guzma. boiiiii that is blasphemy even if you were more into digimon if you about them dank memes you gotta know about my boy guzma. like hot damn. also tbh i felt like shit so between suga and now this boi over here insulting all that is me i'm feeling a little less like tearing myself apart piece by piece so bless. [s [size10 tell me one more time how you would fuck me up cause you don't know how to deal with emotions but if you just keep throwin the memes and attention at me you got me hook line and sinker boiii]]]]
[center [size10 Also I get to do nothing but sleep all day tomorrow. she better not have to wake me or let me just say how much i will hate tomorrow. but alas, off to play some tera with the boy and get lost in that shit and the memes and the lolis peace out i will miss like MAYBE 5 of y'all]]
I hate that my birthday always falls along the same week of thanksgiving, its even worse when its on the day of it.
but then when you request the day off and learn you not only have to work the day but work until 10 at fucking night, then oh fucking boy we got some problems here. Its almost like management wants to start trouble at this point. I requested the day off a whole month in advance too so they can't pull any of that bullshit with me. Not my fault upper management is shit at keeping the numbers of our employers high.
Whats worse is its not like I can shrug and say 'oh well we can do things tomorrow, or the following few days'
[I because those days are going to be about the one day where a bunch of white fucks from a boat decided that day not to slaughter, rape, and pillage fucking native lands and instead take their food]
Oh and being thankful or something fuck if I know.
[size10 ya know, i have heard a lot of shit in my years of growing to where i am now, but hear "someone can't possibly change because of what others have done to them, what time has done to them" is complete and the most shit that you will ever produce from your body. people don't change because people do not want to change. people put their past before their future because they [b want] to. as a person you should be ashamed of your soul, and honestly i am against calling people disgusting and vile but my good madam, your soul is complete piss. never have a seen someone so beautiful but something so ugly. tsk.]
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