ɪ ʀᴜɪɴ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ɪ ᴛᴏᴜᴄʜ. ɪᴍ ᴀ ᴘᴀᴛʜᴇᴛɪᴄ ᴀɴxɪᴏᴜs ᴍᴇss. ɴᴏ ᴏɴᴇ ᴅᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇs ᴛᴏ ᴅᴇᴀʟ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍᴇ. ɪ ʜᴀᴛᴇ ᴍʏsᴇʟғ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴛʜᴀɴ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴇʟsᴇ ɪ ʜᴀᴛᴇ... ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ғ*ᴄᴋɪɴɢ ʜᴀᴛᴇ ᴀ ʟᴏᴛ ᴏғ sʜ*ᴛ.
ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴡʜʏ ɪ ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ᴀᴄᴛɪɴɢ ᴏᴜᴛ ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ʜᴀᴛᴇ ɪᴛ... ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴀ ʙᴜʀᴅᴇɴ... ɪ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ sᴛʀᴏɴɢ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴏɴᴇ ʙᴇʟɪᴇᴠᴇs ɪ ᴀᴍ... ʙᴜᴛ ɪ'ᴍ ɴᴏᴛ sᴛʀᴏɴɢ, ɪ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ, ɪ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴡɪʟʟ ʙᴇ.
ɪ ᴀᴍ sᴏ sᴏʀʀʏ. ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴡʜʏ ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ᴀᴍ.
ɪ'ᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀsᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴊᴜsᴛ... ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴡʜᴀᴛ's ᴡʀᴏɴɢ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍᴇ... ɪ'ᴍ ʟᴏsɪɴɢ ᴍʏsᴇʟғ. ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ sᴀᴠᴇ ᴍʏsᴇʟғ... ɪ ᴘʀᴏᴍɪsᴇᴅ ᴍʏsᴇʟғ ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ʙᴇɢ ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ ʙᴜᴛ ʜᴇʀᴇ ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ғ*ᴄᴋɪɴɢ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ... ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴡ...
ᴡʜʏ ᴀᴍ ɪ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜɪs... ᴡʜʏ ᴀᴍ ɪ ʜᴇʀᴇ... ᴡʜʏ ᴅᴏ ɪ ᴇxɪsᴛ... ʟɪғᴇ ɪs ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴀ ᴄʀᴜᴇʟ ғ*ᴄᴋɪɴɢ ᴊᴏᴋᴇ. ɪ'ᴍ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴀʟʟᴏᴡᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪ ʙᴇᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ ɪ ᴘᴀɴɪᴄ ᴀɴᴅ ʀᴜɪɴ ɪᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ᴄᴏᴘᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴡɪʟʟ ʙᴇ ɴᴏʀᴍᴀʟ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴊᴜsᴛ... ɪ ᴊᴜsᴛ... ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴀɴʏᴍᴏʀᴇ... ᴍʏ ғʀɪᴇɴᴅs... ᴍʏ ғʀɪᴇɴᴅs... ᴡʜʏ ᴅᴏ ɪ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ɪғ ɪ ᴀᴍ sᴏ ᴍᴇᴀɴ... ᴡʜʏ ᴅᴏ ɪ ᴅᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ɪ'ᴍ ᴅᴏɪɴɢ... ɪ'ᴍ ʟᴏsɪɴɢ...
ɪ'ᴍ ʟᴏsɪɴɢ ᴍʏsᴇʟғ... ɪ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ᴋᴇᴇᴘ sᴛʀᴜɢɢʟɪɴɢ... ɪ'ᴍ ʟᴏsɪɴɢ sᴏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ... ʜᴇʟᴘ... ɪ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴍᴀᴄʜɪɴᴇs ᴛᴏ ᴘʀᴇᴠᴇɴᴛ ᴍʏsᴇʟғ ғʀᴏᴍ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴅᴜᴍʙ ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ... ɪ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴅᴏ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʀɪɢʜᴛ...
ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪs ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴɪɴɢ ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ's ᴍʏ ғʀɪᴇɴᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ʜᴜʀᴛ ᴍʏ ғʀɪᴇɴᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ʟᴏsᴇ ᴍʏ ғʀɪᴇɴᴅ ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴇᴀʟ ᴡɪᴛʜ sᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴍᴇ ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ɢᴏɴᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ'ᴍ sᴏ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇx ɪ ғ*ᴄᴋɪɴɢ...
ʜᴇʟᴘ... ʜᴇʟᴘ... ʜᴇʟᴘ... sᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ sᴀᴠᴇ ᴍᴇ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴍʏsᴇʟғ...
ʙ-ᴇ-ғ-ᴏ-ʀ-ᴇ - ɪ-ᴛ-s - ᴛ-ᴏ-ᴏ - ʟ-ᴀ-ᴛ-ᴇ
ɪ ᴅᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ sɪɴɢʟᴇ ʙᴀᴅ ᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴀᴛ's ᴇᴠᴇʀ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴏʀᴇ...
[center [size11 [i hush,] don't speak]]
[center [size11 when you spit your venom, keep it shut i hate it]][center [size11 when you hiss and preach]]
[center [size11 about your new messiah 'cause your theories catch fire]]
[center [size11 i can't find your silver lining]][center [size11 i don't mean to judge]][center [size11 but when you read your speech, it's tiring]]
[center [size11 [i enough is enough]]]
[center [size11 i'm covering my ears like a kid]][center [size11 when your words mean nothing, i go [i la la la]]][center [size11 i'm turning up the volume when you speak]][center [size11 'cause if my heart can't stop it,]][center [size11 i find a way to block it, i go]]
[center [size11 [i la la,] la la la la [i la] na na na na na]][center [size11 [i la la na na,] la la la la [i la na na] na na na,]]
[center [size11 i find a way to block it, i go]]
[center [size11 [i la la] na na, la la la la [i la] na na na na na]][center [size11 [i la la na na,] la la la [i la la na na] na na na]]
/ 7d 11h 31m 19s
I hate my heart, it needs to stop hurting so much.
[center [size10 Kung Fu Kenny back at it again with D.N.A <3 Man I love Kendrick Lamar's Soul.]]
[center [size10 I am [b not] looking forward to tomorrow, not sure how I'll get around campus with this fucked foot. I really just-- want my it to heal already. Man, you don't appreciate your body till some shit happens, hah. After this, come July, I'm going to be extra careful and get some boots too.]]
[center [size10 I'm not trying to test my luck every single time. Thank you, god, for having my back always. I must be a pain to look after lol.]]
On that note I need start playing Persona 5 again.
[center [size10 OMG..Sonic's kingsofsilver are to die for omg, I'm so excited about those characters and using my ideas...I'm in love someone pleaseshootmeandmyfangirling #GOT7]]
[center [size11 everywhere i read about my personality descriptors or whatever you call them, they say that i'll put more effort into relationships than others, and quote on quote "shouldn't expect the same" because it's "naive"]]
[center [size11 that. bothers me. a fucking lot.]]
[center [size11 i don't even expect the same. i expect [i something]. but i still don't even get that much in return. no one is willing to reciprocate my kindness and dedication, and i shouldn't have to be called "naive" for feeling like shit about it.]] [center [size11 idk. i'm tired of this.]]
/ 8d 17h 12m 38s
[center [size11 who cares how i feel. i'm just a burden, i have too much baggage for anyone to handle.]]
[center [size11 if only i could be emotionless]]
[center Day 1 of fasting! I got this !
[center [size11 even with the new dress, the makeup, the wig, the angles, the filters, i can't make myself like my appearance. i'm not anything special, the only thing i have going for me are my large eyes.]][center [size11 my body prohibits me from ever looking masculine, and that... really bugs me. a binder wouldn't help at all. my body shape and my height and my face are clear giveaways.]]
[center [size11 the truth is, i don't like myself much at all.]]
[center [size11 even though i tirelessly work on making myself someone i could be proud of, i never end up happy. i can't ever find a medium.]]
[center [size11 i wish i was never born.]]
Can't go anywhere on this site without multiple people being dicks >_>
[paprika [center [#a47f82 I'm just sitting, resting. Lingering in the ashes of the fire that caught up to me.
[size11 i'm so scared to love you, and let you in.]
[size11 it's just so hard to trust other people, when the last time i did, i got really hurt.]
[size11 i just don't want a repeat.]
[size11 i really hope we can both be open & honest, i always hope for free communication. i don't want secrets, i don't want lies or fear, or misunderstandings. some times we may have issues, or disagreements, and i hope we can talk them through.]
[size11 i want so badly for things to go right, i've been so scared. i've had very self-damaging thoughts that've almost led me back to die-hard habits of self-sabotage.]
[size11 i don't want to jeopardise what i have with you, i only want to see it bloom.]
[size11 i wish i wasn't so wound up.]
[size11 i miss you.]
[size11 - Nin.]
You know, I feel like if you are going to block someone out of your life they should at least have done something directly to you to garner that.
...Maybe I just its unfair to get hate from people who weren't even there. I understand people got their own bias and emotions over things and ties and I get that.
I do, I really do.
[center but I don't hate any of you]
I barely bothered anyone.
I'm not some good person and I can usually accept someone pushing me out when its something face to face but something like this? I feel like I should get some sort of fair trial but that would be in a perfect life.
We all look at this world in our own way, we see it differently, I'm no different. There have been a few times I've lost some good people in my life due to my distaste for something that was related around them but not them directly.
I regret those moments and wish I had handled myself better.
I hope, I do truly hope, you don't end up feeling that same regret.
At first I was full with frustration and confused but now just a thrust for understanding between people.
All posts are either in parody or to be taken as literature. This is a roleplay site. Sexual content is forbidden.