[size10 "My hair is in the process of the making.!!! Super duper happy right now, like my self image is getting more and more complete with every step I make! Life is going my way right now, I love my decision right now! It's so worth it! I love my life, my friends, my body!!" ]
[center [size10 it's talents like this that make me love my friends, especially when i can gender bend them XD!]]
[center [https://m.twitch.tv/maomiaou [size10 Celebatory second son live stream]]][center [size10 I'm all honestly this is my 3rd save file attempt cause I keep losing it so I gotta start from the beginning again, but as they say third time's a charm]][center [s [size10 Also this is legit my face game guys okay bye]]]
[center [size10 this new animal crossing for adroids and ios is fuvking life right now. I dont mind buying this expensive ass phone to do so. Lets just take a moment]]
[center [size10 Anyway i know I am ALWAYS talking about my drawings but until I can start my real hobby and making some side cash , I finally got hair down pact! Yes bitch yes]]
These past few weeks have been hectic, to say the least.
A friend tells me that she thinks I spend all day thinking about her naked and it makes her feel uncomfortable. All in the meanwhile whenever I would see her, she would flash me or make dirty jokes.
But you want to know the biggest kicker?
[i I think she's nasty].
As a friend she's okay, I suppose. But her hygiene is horrible. Who only showers once a week?
Then a few days later, I accidentally burn my oven. It lit on fire, and it was gone. So I had to go buy a new oven.
And then, I decided I would stop hanging out with the friend from earlier, so now I have an extra ticket to go see the special double feature of star wars, come opening day.
So while I'm out asking friends if they want to go, this girl tells me yes. But then she tells me that she isn't sure because her friends think I look like a rapist.
[b a fucking rapist]
Perhaps this bothers me more than it should. But I'm definitely not a rapist. But what does a rapist even look like? This is the second time in a year that I've heard this. So it's made me wonder if age, me being heavier and balder are what make people think I'm a bad person.
And then finally....
[i Her boyfriend left to join the navy.] And she's waiting for him. So freaking cute right? All she does now is post on snapchat about how much she misses him and how much she loves him.
But I don't hate the guy. ya know?
He makes her happy. Whenever I saw them on snapchat they would have that tinkle in their eyes that people have when theyre in love. Sure it would make me sad that it wasn't me, but she's happy.
I just went to a concert and one of the songs got me thinking about all my relationships. The song was about loving someone completely, everything they do. And I can tell you, I've never in my life experienced that.
I mean I'm a weird guy. I know, but there have been two constant things in my life. I've known that if I ever have to go away, no one would wait for me. No one would love me like she loves Tyrell. And the second is that I inevitably will do something weird and unusual when dating someone that's going to completely ruin it for them and theyll leave.
Just life I guess.
[left [pic https://i.imgur.com/lsqHwkV.gif]][center [size10 I lied I'm back. Really just to add that maybe I should try having more breakdowns over shit. Like I guess I'm so used to just holding myself together so well no one can believe I've got fucking issues it's fucking stupid I shouldn't need to have a Fucking breakdown every 5 minutes for people to fucking believe me. Carrying off that I also need to stop trying to hold myself together so well right now. If I need to breakdown I should. Right now is the perfect time for it. Also at this rate I might not fucking sleep even though I seriously need to so hey at least I'll be more likely to break down and get sympathy points like my mom does all the fucking time with her fucking crocodile tears.]][center [size10 it's kind of hard not to hate myself through all of this and kind of hard not to blame myself. Obviously I fucked up somewhere. But whatever I should worry about these feelings when I wake. It'll be a new day to cry over everything thars fucking wrong with my life and prolly make a fool of myself cause I hate emotions and I hate crying that shit is so ingrained in me it's not even funny. Like thanks Sharon you raised me so great look at me I'm a Fucking broken human being I can't even function right.]]
[size10 I know you're trying to be calm about it, but man. I just can't. I'm so mad. So mad that she'd do that to someone that is supposed to be her fucking family. You don't deserve this. I'm so mad because that was your place to live, and you were working hard to get better, and now this is going to fuck everything up. It's been a while since I've wanted to scream about how unfair the world is being.
It all makes me so mad that I want to cry. I want Hoosier and Joffrey to go with you. I know you love tf outta them and I'm so fucking sure they make things a bit more bearable for you. And the fact that you gotta be away from them makes me so mad. It probably seems that I only care about the cat aspect of it all but I don't. It's just, I'm super passionate about cats lol ... Last time I had to part with a cat because my landlords were dicks, I cried for days. If I lost the cat I have now, I'd be a fucking mess. He's my esa, and I feel like that's what your cats are to you, and idk ...
I'm so upset and mad and I don't even know your egg donor but I wanna scream at her that it's fucked up to abandon your child to live out on the streets. That's not what fucking family does.
I'm just gonna stop there before I get so worked up I'm crying lmao ...
also >.> [i emotions are prohibited]]
[left [pic https://i.imgur.com/lsqHwkV.gif]][center [size10 After this post i'm mostly likely going to go sit outside for a few and let the smaller children pester me, then I'll prolly go to bed and sleep in my own bed for the last time and be pestered by my child while trying to fall asleep for the last time. It's okay tho, I seriously just trying to not let all this get to me to the extreme. One seizure was enough for today.]][center [size10 All in all this all has been stressful but I also had some good points. My mother may not care about what happens to me, obvious from the eviction notice, but the support from people who actually care is uplifing. Hell being told by two people to never change who I am because I seem like a nice cool person was kind of unexpected but needed. Oh and someone's dog got out and wandered into my yard so that was a thing that me, delores, and a neighbor kid dealt with tonight and delores fed me??? So like I guess I know who has me back more than so called "family" since Ali prolly won't be back until sometime next week so she doesn't have to be here for whatever might come of all this [s [size10 which is nothing because i'm still 100% going ghost like danny phantom on them like byeeeee]] I even told delores if they come asking where I am not to tell them and she agreed she wouldn't because "why would i tell them they don't care anyways"]][center [size10 So yeah here's hoping neon don't die guys, not cause i'mma like off myself even tho i was hella tempted this morning, but like because idk what comes for me next and i'm already having issues with my kidney so? so hey if I wind up having to go to the er sometimes this week guys don't be shocked, also if after friday I appear dead to the world the same goes there cause that means I'm on the streets or at lakeside cause lolololol stress will be the death of me i fucking swear to god.]]
A little birdy told me that yes it was flirting
The other birdy told me to say
AYE MAMA CMERE LEMME SHOW YOU-
JK I'M NOT GOOD WITH EMOTIONS STAY AWAY
[size10 "Are they flirting or just being friendly?"
- A documentary by me
also better known as the story of my life lmao
I'm oblivious af
[+white why are feelings a thing
I'm scared jfc
just kill me already]]
Man, just when I thought I couldn't hate a person anymore than I do now... She fucking does this shit. "You have 7 days get your shit and leave." Is basically what his mom is saying by doing this shit. Fuck you bitch and hope you die from kidney failure. My bestie will be with me til Friday which helps a lot but I still wish there was more I could do and I feel horrible tbh. I'm probably gonna cry later because no one especially my best friend should have to deal with a mother so foul and evil that the kick out their "baby" and not care what happens to them next. So fuck you, fuck your existence, and go fuck yourself with a metal pole you 2 faced evil ass cunt!
I feel better now lol
[size10 I don't usually regret taking naps, but I do this time. I've had such bad anxiety since waking up. I dreamt. About my former roommate. She was at my stepbrother's memorial party, only because she wanted to party. Not because she knew him or was upset. Only because she wanted to party. This dream fucked me up so bad. I was fighting with her for the eternity that my dream lasted.
I still can barely breath right now. My anxiety is so bad.
Then my dumbass made it worse by going on Facebook... Feelings are dumb. I'm not sure why I even have them.
Kinda just wanna smack them outta myself tbh, but. I'll just pretend they don't exist from now on. Usually better that way ... Than addressing them.
anyways .... need to write two papers and listen to an audio clip.
Guess. Bye for now.
Its so hard to not open up this gift. Ahhhhh give me the strength to leave it be. But hey on another note I look hella fine today dressed like the princess I am. Cant wait to spend time with babe after I spend time with the rest of the fam.
[center [pic https://i.imgur.com/kpnSg9P.gif]][center [size10 You've made your position clear, and if anything is going to help me with my issues with you right now it's that. You don't even introduce me as your child because I'm not, well guess what? That means you're not my mother. I don't owe you anything anymore. I have 7 days to get what shit I want to take with me and then I get to live the life of a statistic. It doesn't matter to you what happens to me and that's fine, makes it easier for me. I would call you and I would fight this but I'm exhausted and I don't have the mental and or emotional energy to fight you. I know now you prolly lied about my shit being gone and that's okay, I'd come to terms that the only childhood possession i had left was my hat.]]
[center [size10 Just think, after friday you won't see or hear from me ever again, I won't be a burden on you, I'll be out on my own 100% officially. I don't 100% know what I'm going to do but at least I know I get to spend some time with clair and bro until Friday when I legit need to find a place. I don't know what's wrong with you but I need to just let it go. This hurts but I will survive. I've got this, I just need to do what's best for me right now and not what's best for everyone else. I still gonna worry about my friends tho don't you worry but when it comes to my "family" fuck them. They've decided to do this and I will just let it happen. I do really want to try and reach out to my dad's side of the family but I don't even know where to start tbvh. I gotta try tho. I gotta cancel my appointment for monday so I don't get billed for it and then I gotta cancel my therapist appointment, and maybe see if I can call her and let her know what's going on. I have been doing all this work and unfortunately I'm going to have to stop where I am until I get on better footing.]]
[center [size10 Happy fucking thanksgiving to me I guess, I'm spending it at my besties and tbh that was what i wanted anyways. Who needs family who is just going fucking throw you away like you're trash and not willing to work with you anyways. Good fucking riddance, I will miss what we were but I'll know that now we'll never be there again. And unlike how it was with my sister I won't come back to you just because I had a kid and forgot all your sins. Fuck you and fuck this town, and most importantly fuck this state. As much as I'd just like to fucking kill myself and put myself out of my misery I refuse to give you that in any way shape or form. I hope I make an amazing life for myself and one day I will think back on all of this and realize that I clung to someone for far too long and yearned for unrealistic ideas. I won't even know when you die at this point because all of y'all are pretty much blocked on every form of social media I am on and once I get over to clair's I'll delete that stupid app you use to text me and I'll never hear from anyone of you. So peace the fuck out I hope you know how much I hate you at this point.]]
You must be Vee from OitNB because you just won't fucking let anyone have goddamn nice things and leave us the hell alone you big old saggy manipulative lying desperate for anyone to speak to you piece of crap.
Why can't your name just die out it's been two seasons already.
All posts are either in parody or to be taken as literature. This is a roleplay site. Sexual content is forbidden.