DOUBLE POST BUT I WAS JUST GOING ON ABOUT HOW I DIDN'T WANT TO TELL HIM I LOVED HIM UNTIL HE GOT HERE BUT IT'S FUCKING LATE AND NIGHT AND MY MENTAL STATE DIED AND I FULL BLOWN SAID THAT I LOVED HIM AND AS SOON AS HE CAUGHT IT HE FUCKING SMILED SO HARD AND I DIED ON THE INSIDE AND HE SAID HE WON'T COMMENT ON IT UNTIL HE GETS HERE I'M NOT OKAY SOMEONE CALL 911 PLSU
[center [pic https://78.media.tumblr.com/fd9858c0e378f607cad664b8bc0fa219/tumblr_oqcfk7bbjo1uprh6zo1_500.gif]]
[right [b 10:27 PM, May 24th, 2018.]]
So, I have officially become a cheesy romantic. I'm not sure how to feel about it yet, but so far so good. I had to write a love letter to my soft boy because I don't have the balls to actually say that I love him yet. The next time he comes over I'm gonna give it to him, and at the end of the letter he'll see it. I'm so fucking excited, I'm honestly counting down the days until he gets here.
Talking to him about having kids still sends my heart fluttering, I'm not used to someone being so.. serious about it as I am. I do love him, I really fucking do. The amount of shit we've been through together has proved that to me, especially just this last week when I was with him. I almost missed my flight to Michigan.. and he essentially cleared out his account just to get me to my parents so I could meet my mother's side of the family. I cried the whole time, and he held my hand while we walked the entirety of LAX going to each terminal to see who had a last minute flight. He was my rock, and didn't even think twice about doing it. "Money comes and goes," that's what he always says to me when I bring it up, I feel like shit that he had to do it but it's not like I can do anything about it now.
I really hope you don't see this post yet, because I know you occasionally check my journal on here, heck you even made an account just to see it. You're my honey bee, my lil soft boy, and I love you.
[center Te amo desde el fondo de mi corazón y quiero estar contigo para siempre]
[coming+soon [center [size15 [#859ecc [b Well, la dee da.
Who would have thought little miss saint who cares and loves everyone got bored of her life again and wanted to stir trouble up. Well hey, I'm glad I know who to call my friend because obviously the more mature one one knew what they should do. Instead of.... I dunno what to call this anymore.
Blasting the other person and once again trying to slander their name. Maybe it's just me but I'm getting awful tired of you using your old friends as a way to amuse yourself. It's kinda sick, actually. I can't believe I've ever loved someone who would go this far to prove... I don't even know what anymore. That she's a person. With feelings. Man. Because that wasn't something she mentioned like.... ten times.
Goddamn it's James all over again. Speaking of said Dick head liked something I shared awhile ago. He unblocked me. Which is great! Because that finally gave ME the opportunity to block him. He's so thoughtful, honestly. <3
I guess even though it's all said and done, even resolved, I just wanted to say that we still don't care. We're good. We've done canceled our subscriptions, we long over done with your issues. [Size9 Shout out to them old movies for this gold line.]
Also if anyone cares,
DARK SOULS REMASTER IS TOMORROW CAN YOU FEEL MY HYPE???
I'm too much of a pussy to play it tho so yeah.
I'll watch from afar.
Wow that's quite a ramble I've got there. Not that bad though. I just thought I'd let it all out instead of letting it boil inside me and piss me off more lol. I'm really good at making it seem like I care about you but truth is I haven't checked up on you in so long I just figured maybe you hopefully got help and found something better to do with your life.
Tks tsk. Never hold your breath with anyone on ES lol.
Edit: Also I didn't realize you had a miscarriage. No one deserves that. Granted I don't think you are suited to be a mother, no woman who wants a child deserves to go through that. It's something not everyone gets to experience. A life in you is special. And I'm sorry. But again stay the hell in your lane and leave us alone.
[center [pic https://i.imgur.com/6UeD4X1.gif]][center [size10 Be careful what you wish for~]][center [size10 Cause in the end you might very well get it]][center [size10 Rest in onions]]
[center I hope both sides reach a peaceful conclusion. It looks to have been a misunderstanding and I pray for the losses this person Grimoire endures]
[center On similar news my mom's turning 50 this year. She's not weak or sickly or anything like that. She's actually pretty tough but it got me thinking I need to treasure her and the time I have left. Been taking care of her asking her to do less. I love her and want her to be happy in her old age not full of physical pain. Monique and her advice has been very helpful. ]
[center For as savage as she claims to be she brings the best out of me. I don't think she realizes the arguments and such I've avoided and how much I've gotten done and been happy with her around. Being friends with Alexandra again is nice I was afraid she wouldn't forgive everything my ex had done. ]
[center I probably shouldve listened to everyone when they said reign that one in a bit. Even if they didn't like me they weren't wrong about her. I had realized though I was getting along with everyone till she caused that drama and I took her side like a moron. She was wrong dating her or not she was attacking everybody outta the blue. I still feel guilty for that one honestly. I know I sent apologies to the group involved and most said it was okay or they didn't care. I still feel honestly terrible about it. ]
[center On a happier note gonna get internet back soon no more typing on the phone! God I hate typing on the phone writing is always so WTF. I thought about posting in my rps on the phone. Hahaha yeah right it'd be a mess xD]
Smo got a new baby brother. His name is Bo, well, his name Bokuto and I call him Bo. He’s really vocal, ironically so. Cat named after an owl-like character, yeah, but if he were black, his name would have been Tetsu.
My baby sis graduating from the 8th grade, man I feel old. I’m proud of her though. I’ll just be cool with avoiding some people though...
[http://rp.eliteskills.com/r.php?r=150276 click me]
[left [pic https://i.imgur.com/vxEtgTz.gif]]
[center [size10 It's crazy, it's almost like karma exists and just smacked someone in the face. Cause remember how Alex donated money to the youcaring fundraiser that Suga made for me and then there was that whole thing where supposedly they got ripped off and shit and then I was made to feel like absolute shit cause I never asked for any money from anyone??? Oh yeah, I remember that. I mean I do hate to bring up the past but I mean if you wanna go digging up dead bodies then hey, why let you have all the fun.]][center [size10 They legit do nothing but keep to themselves, no one even talks to them about you, but you're still gonna cry about "abuse". Miss me with that shit. I try not to comment on anything that you post that I could solely cause I don't wanna be involved in any kind of mess like that again, but honestly? I would just like to inform you that no matter how much you try and throw a tantrum and defend yourself karma is outing you like fucking crazy.]]
[Size10 [center You act like them leaving was some kind of eighth wonder of the world with no answer but one of the biggest reasons, you're completely fucking blind to. That little bitch of a man who likes to hit people and kick dogs? Yeah there's your answer. Maybe they felt like you completely fucking replaced EVERYTHING in your mistake of a life with him because, OOPS. You did. They probably realized that they'd never be as important as them and guess what? They were right cause who are you still with? Exactly. Get the picture? They were right for leaving cause you're a slut for his love. But he'll never love anyone more than himself. So close your legs and for the sake of any child that would have to be raised up with him as a father and a manic fucking on the edge mother who will never stop screaming about something only she cares about , DON'T try for another freak of a child. Hate to be the one to say what probably many people thought but didn't say, oh wait I'm not, your miscarriage was the best thing that baby could have ever gotten. Children don't ask to be born and you willingly bringing a child into this world with the worlds worst parents is gunna lead to a kids fucking death. I'd fucking kill myself if I had to live in you guys bs everyday.
And as for the gofund me, you twat. If Asher made the gofund me and Asher doesnt live there with you anymore then Alex SHOULD have taken the money because it was ASHERS money. Especially if what the gofund me cause isn't relevant anymore. If HE made the go fund me and the cause isn't needed anymore then its HIS decision to use the money as he sees fit, not for YOU to decide to use it for food and gas cause your sorry ass lost a job. Go figure on that one. Your nasty ass eyeliner is enough for me to fire you. The money wasn't for you to fucking do whatever you wanted with it and if it is true that Asher made the go fund me, maybe next time be smarter and have it put in your name where this shit wont happen. You got the check, great. Good for you. But Alex lives with the person whos fund it was. So cry me a fucking river, bitch.]]
[google-font https://fonts.google.com/?selection.family=Raleway] [Raleway [center [size11 I sent another email...
I dont know what to do. Everyone says I'm a perfect canidate for this program, but I haven't heard anything from this program in months. It's going to break my soul if I don't get in.
I sent an email to that rude admissions lady hoping for the best. I come recommended by their top and most famous alumni! How are they finding something wrong with my packet? It all has to be a mistake right? What if it isnt?
[b ... ]
What If I have to go back to another engineering job? What if I just bring bad luck with me wherever I go and that one closes down too? What happened... this has been my passion since I was 16. What am I going to do if I dont get in. I fear depression will just corrupt my heart if I don't get in. This is going to break me. I feel lt in my bones that this isnt going to go my way.
I need my karma or energy to change, I just need something to go my way again. Why is my path being filled with boundaries, fires and destruction? It all used to be so clear in my head.... ]]]
[center [Inconsolata You should just stay in your lane, and keep your thoughts behind close doors. Because the truth is, none of us care what you have to say. You burned your bridges with practically everyone on this site, so we couldn't care less about you.
Vent if you want, I don't care, but if you're going to use someone's real name without their permission to reveal it, you should at least keep it private.
You're honestly just plain rude and I really can't bring myself to care about a thing you've said. You've said it all out of malice and its a pathetic attempt to save your reputation. A reputation you destroyed yourself, mind you.
Just stay where you belong, lurking in the shadows, where none of us can be bothered to acknowledge your bullshit. Or call you out. You're just exhausting at this point.
[center [size10 It's so easy to say, "don't hate cause it's an ugly emotion" and then it's like the world challenges you by having you interact with the most god awful people that feel like they were made to be hated. I wish I never met either of you. I wish I never cared about you, you selfish prick. Thinking casually admitting on the sides you know what you were doing makes anything better - spoiler alert, it doesn't. Ain't nothing that can be said or brought up that's gonna change my mind about you or the leech I had the misfortune of ever defending or thinking was a good person. Fucking acting like you were backed in a corner with no choice but to be cruel to your friends. Cause ya know, I've been really depressed and angry before, and lashed out at people. But you know what I [i didn't] do? Act like my depression was some catch all excuse. I apologized and tried actively catching myself doing the same as before and trying to change it. Cause that's what being sorry means. Instead you're just a sad excuse of a pity party in human form. I hate remembering you exist.]]
Tomorrow is con day. My friend invited me to go. I’m thankful, but at the same time I don’t even go anywhere. I jus want to sleep. It’s going to be raining too. What fun is a convention when the humidity is going to ruin all your wigs and craft foam props?
Excuse me but Alex is a cunt who uses peoples puppies for charity and then pockets the fucking money [pic https://i.imgur.com/74iKFnT.png]
[http://rp.eliteskills.com/r.php?r=150103 more details]
I think too much. It fucks me up. I think so much it's doing me zero good. I wanted to tell you more than anything. I did. But what's the point? You're there. I'm here. You've got that. I've got this. What I've got for you is nothing like I've ever felt. It's sweet. It's warm. It's wanting more. Always wanting more. It's wanting to be with you but instead not saying a thing.
I cried today on the bus, I was so happy before. I'm back to just being broken. And trying cope.
All posts are either in parody or to be taken as literature. This is a roleplay site. Sexual content is forbidden.