[coming+soon [center [size15 [#859ecc [b Bluuurrrgghhh today was A DAY
Neon got to see how crazy I am at work LOL I like to get shit DONE'T. Hanging out with them again tonight because I got a problem. Need to always be with faith and neon now. They are my safe place. uwu I should probs eat soon, huh? Feeling lazy though... eh I'll do it. Probs for the best.
I guess there isn't much for me to say. I just have felt very broken in the social aspect up until neon came in. Granted I still do, it just never is the same without a platonic mate that is just as in sync with me as I them. It's strange. I don't feel whole.
[center [size10 I got dragged down the rabbit hole and now the universe has told me 3 whooping times to be cautious of someone because they aren't what they seem. I get it universe he's probably just like all the other guys I've managed to wind up with. Even worse he's a virgo and dear god please no why? Why am I still attracting Virgos? We aren't even god damn compatible??? I mean I've willingly let myself be dragged down this rabbit hole and it was only a matter of time but good god it's completely different than I thought and it's nice being around people who are open to it and accepting of all this stuff. I found my peoples]][center [size10 in other news I move into my place Friday. It's decent sized and I'll have not only my own room this whole time but my own place. It's basically an apartment and it's beautiful. I'll have to invest in some things for myself but that's okay I'll slowly acquire them. I'll hopefully be there for a year unless something unforseen happens and let me tell you I refuse to get myself into another situation where I have to run again. Which means good sir in Sandusky I ain't gonna play any games and let myself get overly attached from the get go especially after all these god damn warnings.]]
[center [size10 all in all life is good and suga is a joy to be around and I don't know what I'd do without her if I'm being honest.]]
[coming+soon [center [size15 [#859ecc [b Alas, good things must come to an end. I can't stand being away from Neon because I'm having so much fun being around him and Faith. They're truly my soul searching friends. I... might accept the gift Faith said I had. I want to help the people I love, I want to help others. Even at the cost of myself. You can't just find out that this exists and.... walk away. You can't. I can't walk away. I have always dreamt of a normal life. But I've always known I was never meant for that. I was meant for something more. Even if it is guiding others. That's my purpose. That's what I'm here for.
Anyway people are gonna start thinking I'm crazy now, but it's none of their business I like what I like. And that I have what I have.
I'm truly curious if the universe wants to keep giving me good things? I'm not ungrateful. I will keep looking for good things in this world. Because if you only look for the bad, it's obviously only gonna be bad things you see.
GIVE ME MY BLOODBORNE CARDS GODDAMMIT
[center [size10 That feeling when someone from the old hosts past comes back wanting some kind of- idk acquaintanceship with you? But you have no interest other than to see if they really have "changed" yet.. mmm it just isn't doing it for me. The entertainment wears off fast and I'm honestly just left wishing it were Blake or Shannon. What a shame. Seems like they didn't much care to try much either so to that end, what's the point of even coming to me?? It's a shame I've been pretty absent of late on es to where my name isn't quite what it used to be. Someone should have told them I'm not interested in anything past it's usefulness to me. Oh well, it was interesting for all of about.. 5 or 6 pms?
On that note, where IS Blake? Where's Shannon? Hell, Coco even? Where's some old shitlords that are fun to fuck with. Dammit es, are you actually becoming a more decent site??
Edit: Also here, have my current fav video/meme/person to ever exist.]]
[coming+soon [center [size15 [#859ecc [b My son and I spent all day together today. <3 My life is so wonderful introducing my friends to each other... Making a life here is such a fucking change... urgh it really is something beautiful to watch.
Talked about spiritual stuff today. Talked about what the universe had planned for me. My gut is turning. But... The universe will always do me good. So. What happens, happens. It may or may not hurt like a mother fucker. But I have friends who will love and support me. And I will grow. And mature. <3 Thank you, universe.
[center [size10 Everything is falling into place. Officially started work with Suga today. It was just paperwork but she's training me Wednesday.]]
[center [size10 also I hate being that person but if I have to I'll steal your job. I'll take your hours. I will be you but better. I've done it before I can do it again. Difference is this time I would be trying to. Last time it was complete accident that I replaced that person. No one will miss you I can know that simply because of your attitude. You know damn well you're not better than anyone else. You work at the same place as the rest of them. I will take your job and your hours and I'll enjoy it. Saying suga is heartless to me was a big no no after everything she's done for me. You done fucked up. You lost your shot at the basement and now you're gonna lose your hours even though apparently you don't get enough as is. Pro tip if you want more hours don't call in all the time.]]
Photography is therapeutic. I love taking pictures of birds and flowers and whatever little critter I find when I'm blocking out the grief. Two weeks now and things feel weird and they will for a long time, I know this... However, my mind is still telling me that I need to be home so she won't be left alone when my papa needs to leave the house for groceries or other important matters. She's not going to be there when I get home, not anymore. I still expect to walk through door and see her at her computer desk, that's the closest thing to the outside world that she could get to with her limited time on portable oxygen tanks. Not seeing her oxygen tanks and her machines here, it's weird. It's all just strange...
The grief counselor is sending in her information in the mail. I guess "not eating again" has my family in tizzy. I eat, just what I can what I can stomach. At this point, I just need someone to talk to.
[center [size10 Thank fuck Victor finally got his computer so we can all play shit together again. WoW is fun as shit with all of us, especially since we have a group of 4 night elf babes that fuCKIN. They're just all one big traveling orgy. Funnily enough, Caleb's night elf seems to be everyones favorite. She's so "Fuck off I'll fucking stab you" it's beautiful and shes also sexy as fuck. Rami's side has been obsessed with wanting to draw all of our elves together and wanting to draw some raunchy shit too.
We're all possibly going to be making them into DnD characters as well so that'll be interesting. Side note, I really hope that warriors will be more fun with a group and if I'm tanking while Victor heals. Otherwise, I can never stick to warriors above level 50.
Speaking of leveling, holy shit, I actually got Gedrek and Mileggy to level 110. Which means all of the ones I wanted to level up before the 2 new allied races came out are done now.. so what do I do? Commit to leveling up my DK and a new mage I just made. Oops. My high level bois are so sad kek. I haven't played them in fucking forever.
I'll leave with a parting gift. Here's a picture of Caleb's sexy night elf rogue that Rami's side drew. Sorry Rami, it's good. Get over it. Let others enjoy your work you beautiful child you.
[coming+soon [center [size15 [#859ecc [b Fuck my anxiety is fucking with me. Nobody fucks with my baby boy without my wrath. Not only is this bitch is living proof that a fucking gnat is more intelligent than her, but she said something that upset my boy???? Listen here, fucking raisin vagina, THIS BOY GONNA TAKE THE JOB YOU DO NOT APPRECIATE.
Also, my dude, stressing me out. Like chill the fuck out. I'm getting sosick of all these people not seeking therapy. There are low budget sliding scale therapists btw unless you live in a shit in the sticks town. Then shit. GO FUCKING GET THERAPY. I'm sick of all of these hoes waltzing around wearing their damn baggage on them sleeves. I'm about to fucking see one. You can do it, too. Some fucking people just don't listen or comprehend things happen beyond them. :^)c
Side note: I'm concerned about you. Why have you been slowly disconnecting? I know you're busy, but it hurts me seeing you becoming less..... here. Maybe I'm just clingy. Idk. I'm sorry if I spoke out of place. I just hope you're well.
Finally getting out of the house. It was nice. My little sister loves the flea market and she got another dream catcher and some arrowheads. She told my papa that she wants to learn more about Native American cultures and want to go the flea market as a family again.
I may get a job soon too. Fingers crossed. Mrs. Selina said she'd take care of the application that I put inand hold onto it for me. I'm getting there. One step at a time.
[coming+soon [center [size15 [#859ecc [b Neon is finally in Traverse Town yaaaaallll. My drunk ass tried to help but we all know how fucking useless drunk people are... nonetheless he found his way to a hotel without my help. such a big boy. Doin me a very proud. Look at em go. Nothing can stop him now. AND HE GETS TO WORK DAY SHIFT WITH ME FUCK YESSSSS suck a fat cock, humanity. My boy and I gonna fuck up this town.
[center [size10 I guess old school poorly done cringey pda never goes out of style on this site. Oh well. Back to just sticking to intro when it's alive or just journal entries when I need to actually vent anything. I honestly will only try so much to converse with people who honestly hold zero interest in me. But then again I did go ghost for a short while before reappearing so I guess I might as well expect no one to care what I share. Actually nah it's probably because I'm self centered and only care to talk about myself. Shame on me.]]
[center [size11 Can't you figure it out? Or do I have to write it down for you? I know what you're about and I'm not afraid to shut it down. Your vanity is so cold in my heart, in my soul, please let go. I guess anything goes while you're waiting for the one that you love. It's not ready. And I've searched my soul again for you today, but this feeling is getting old and it won't go away. I've tried but I will try again, yeah your my friend. This is not the end.
[pic http://orig01.deviantart.net/9538/f/2015/261/7/e/ruefeather_by_mothbone-d9a0xkb.gif ]
[Center [size10 Happy Valentine's day fuckers. While yall are out having fun and getting nasty, catch me probably just gunna be sitting there when Rami goes to his first day back at his permanent position at work just seething over how their side's mom is just at this point tryna fuckin kill them. Or their step sister inviting a drunk fucking pedophile lookin ass "cousin" of hers to stay the night on the couch last night without yknow.. asking if we were chill with it? This dude looked like the kind of fucking cousin that would fuck his cousin and he looked fucking inbred himself. So you give him alcohol and let him stay over with your younger sibling in the house? If I had known he was staying I would have had them go back to their moms for the night. Also p.s. bitch, you and your cousins smell like literal ass. No wonder you're lonely, single and no one fucking likes you. Their mom better fix their car fucking fast cause I'm not happy about having to drive their lemon ass death trap to Rami's work and back every day.]]
All posts are either in parody or to be taken as literature. This is a roleplay site. Sexual content is forbidden.