[left [pic http://i.imgur.com/WwodPSQ.jpg]][center [size10 "here's an invite to my church's Easter service"]][center [size10 okay first of all I'm pagan so no thanks. Literally no one you gave those cards to is going to go. Three of us threw them out the window, and Easter isn't something I've celebrated since I actually had a "family" and I've already been reminded of it thanks to Facebook so I think I'll just spend Easter Sunday doing tarot stuff, but I guess thanks anyways for inviting me to a service for a holiday y'all stole from us anyways. Gotta come into work one night with my emo looking ass and prove a point to you I guess cause boi I was hoping my Facebook woulda scared you by now but I guess that shit too tame.]][center [size10 also I got make up again so guess who can doll themselves tf up. This bitch.]]
I know this isnt a journal, but I've made a discord server for those who are wanting to reconnect! ^~^
Just let me know who you are when you join.
[google-font https://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Croissant+One] [croissant+one [center [#79a07c We. Are. Getting. A. KITTY! Alas, Spring is here, and kitty kitty kitty. I really fell in love with Willy... grey cat. And his bud Zach. But they don’t want two cats uuuurrrgghh.
Nothing too crazy eventful happened the past two days. I mean Neon and I got matching necklaces and I made mine into a choker because am smol. I had a dream Faith bought a set of cards that were beautiful.
Also cannot put on false lashes for the life of me. Rip.
I’ve been hella slacking on my Pokémon go. Ugh. I keep forgetting though. Kinda wish our work place was a pokestop or SOMETHING.
This year is gonna be my year. Yup. Last year was too tho lol. This life is mine now. Think positive the universe shits positive.
[croissant+one [center [#79a07c It turns out Luke Combs is coming to Saginaw next Saturday. Which is some booty. I wanna see him so fucking bad.
Also I’ve been thinking a lot about how Faith said Neon and I are Twin Flames..... twin flames. It just never occurred to me I would be twin flames with neon. From the day I first met him I believed I was never good enough to be his friend. I love watching him exist and grow and honestly helping him has brought a lot of joy in my life. It kind of agitates me that everyone doesn’t quite use male pronouns, but, he doesn’t mind. It just bothers me. I don’t think I’m really notable of the universe to have a twin flame or a soul mate of any kind. Although we know my Karmic soulmate will always keep me fucked up. I don’t know what to say about them anymore. Nothing good or bad. Just a stranger to me and it hurts to see it that way. But it’s probably for the better.
A lot of things have been affecting me but I’m trying to not let it get to me. Example, a certain Virgo Unfriended me. We seem cool? We still talk so it just confuses me. Makes me feel especially annoying and.... idk. My depression has been really getting the better of me the past few days. I’m trying to be positive. But I’m not a positive person.
Things have been very nice with the fiancé. He hasn’t been totally aggravating for once. Maybe it’s because I’ve just decided to let things go because I’ve got no energy to be stubborn.
Brandon has his last shit day today. Good riddance you swollen crack head. Don’t catch a bullet on your way out.
My dreams the past few weeks have been sticking to my brain the past few weeks. I remember them as I wake up and after. Typically I don’t. Or st least in recent years I haven’t remembered them. Today I dreamt I was at a pet store. And I dealt with an obnoxious kid. Whose parent couldn’t even be bothered to try to correct his misbehavior. Something unsettling about the fish tanks really scared me. I avoided looking at them at all cost. Behind the murky water was some curtains and a room that looked like a hospital room? I just couldn’t look. I was scared. I then found myself looking at all of the other fish and aquatic creatures. I loved it. Surrounded by fish. Then I saw a family who’s wanted turtles. I informed them a bit about the hardships of keeping turtles and they seemed very intrigued and committed. I woke up right in the middle of conversation though.
I’ve been having a lot of dreams about fish. Not quite sure what that means.
[center [size8 Forgive my jealously.
You swallowed the demons on your own.
There's nothing left for me,
I keep thinking back to when you said,
"We own the night."
Stomp that feeling, your puke is a mutant.
Can’t think of who did this, well I grew stupid.
Say accidents happen, it’s admirable acting.
Flicking the back of your ear with my finger.
Separate is the way through, no second is the place though.
Just fake it through the day and the night is your god.
See you in battle, your boat is my paddle.
Your life is my business, your plaque on my wall.
Where did I go wrong?
There's nothing I can do the thrill is gone.
So I play these nervous songs,
Pretend that I’m not barely hanging on.
I run quickly out of air, by the way, I hate your celebration.
I run quickly out of air, by the way, I hate our ageing faces.
[left [pic http://i.imgur.com/F1Xuf9b.jpg]][center [size10 I'm sorry that you're on a month to month probationary lease and dont realize that due to that you can easily be evicted simply due to that. I'm sorry that you're going to be kicked out and not only that but so is your daughter. I'm sorry you feel the world is against you, because honestly it's not. It's nice to finally only worry about supporting myself with out being made to feel like I gotta carry other people and be constantly stressed by money. I know you're going to add this to some sob story, but hopefully you can grow from this, but I know that's hoping for a lot ]]
[center [size10 shit happens and sometimes you just gotta take account for your own actions and be an adult about it. I ain't fucking perfect and never claimed to be. I've fucked up, and yes I run from problems, but I still blame myself more for my own pitfalls in life before anyone else. Even with my mom I blame me bring a burden and helpless for her getting sick and tired of me. But alas, no time to feel bad for myself, only for you. I apologise if you blame me, that's your choice.]]
I decided to watch Kung Fu Hustle to battle my bad feelings and it worked. But I’m still tired and nothing seems to be helping with that so meeeeerrrrr.
I work my crappy three days and then I get to be a bum. I’m just v tired. And I keep dreaming about weird stuff.
I'm ready to yeet myself off of a cliff or a bridge.
Hmmmm might just fucking bleach all of my hair. I’m in the mood. When someone tells me, “you can’t” it makes me want to spite them. And I’ve been DYING to have the blue hair I’ve always needed.
Fire does not follow anyone but its own hunger.
Second post, no ragerts. B]
FLOKI BBY NO
I JUST GOT OVER THIS SHOW NOT TOO LONG AGO AND NOW THAT POOR MAN'S FACE HAS SHOWN UP AGAIN AND AAAAAH MY FELS
I'm so glad that B4-HR doesn't get carsick like Loki does because now I can have him in the car with me all day while I do uhhh.. Well whatever really!! We passed through several towns taking all their Pokémon Gyms before he ends up going to work with me as well, not to mention when you call for him or Loki either one of them will start screaming back in return. x3
Although, last night I left him home due to rushing and was like super upset but there he was waiting for me when I came baaaack!!~
Also, these people in this town keep mistaking me for a girl, this poor dude was hitting on me for a couple minutes before I could finally cut in as politely as I could to inform him otherwise, poor guy ended up breaking off into speaking Jamaican he was so astounded. I feel bad for it but omg I just can't stop laughing.
Hope everyone else's days go by just as quick and easily, tear the bad ones a new one!! ùwú
[center [size10 did past life regression hypnosis last night before bed and thought that my coughing fit ruined it but turns out I still retained what I saw. Pale freckled arms akin to my own, with out my tattoos though. I kept scratching at them at one point and picking and at one point I'd dug into them so horribly I had lesions and was bleeding. There was snow, like a fuck ton, more than I've seen in both Maine and where I live now. I talked it over with suga and another and it possibly might have to do with me having had the plague. Suga was the one who questioned I might have been a viking in my past life and the snow, and the parts of my appearance I saw only make me wonder more. I wanna do it again tonight and see if I see the same thing or more ]]
[center [size10 regardless Tuesday can't come sooner I wanna spend time with suga that isn't work related. Even if we have to stay at my place we can still do tarot stuff or we can watch more vikings if i manage to catch up to her. Regardless it gonna be a rad time indeed.]]
[center [size11 It's weird when your fry chords don't agree with your voice and instead of doing a metalcore high scream, it's just an aggressive whisper.
[center On my way to see my child fuccckkk yessss...
I cuddled my dog this morning and he was shivering either because he was cold or because he was scared. Last night he had a nightmare. And he gets them pretty often. I’ve noticed that since I’m not home often he’s been really affectionate and disobedient lol. I’ll get that boi back into shape.
Sometimes when I think about life I feel numb. Like I’m just stuck in static. Perhaps the meaning of my existence is minuscule, but at least it has a purpose. The rest of my life is blandness.
I had a dream about you. And that you said you gave up your feelings. Because it is better to give them up. It was useless to have them and you were going to dive deeper into your relationship. It broke my heart but it felt true. And it felt like it was the right thing for you to do.
I also had a dream we threw cards for specific days of the month. Forewarning what lies ahead for us. Pretty interesting. I didn’t get time to throroughly examine this months but maybe it’s just my brains recycling information so I can finally learn something.
All posts are either in parody or to be taken as literature. This is a roleplay site. Sexual content is forbidden.