[size10 [+silver Sigh. I didn't get to see you today... Perhaps that would of made things better... Today sucked, work just took things over the edge! It was just the small things... The small things really do matter. -_-' Whatever right? I hope tonight will be better. I hope this depressing phase will pass...It seem like my happiness just like the slips away in heart beat.... Maybe it's just because I have been feel hollow inside lately... I hope I will one day feel whole again but it seem like that is far off in the distance...
[right [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZkI3ASz8Lg [size10 [+silver I feel like I am living in this song...]]]
[google-font https://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Croissant+One] [croissant+one [center [#79a07c Me before meeting neon: dont fucking shit talk my boy, not even jokingly.
Me after meeting him: do You want to be stabbed because this is how you get stabbed
[i eh i wrote a whole post in the wrong section. that’s what i get for trying to vent while i’m still sleepy... forget it then.]
[center [size10 Oh look, the girl who cried abuse only to take it back in true abusee fashion is now returning to saying said same abuser does indeed abuse and that she is tired of it. Seems like it is, has and was an actual thing. I see alot of talk about you saying other people lie but- you seem to do a good bit of it yourself as well. Don't be so quick to call kettle black, pot.]]
Anyone like being accused of raceface in an anonymous app? 'Cause I don't! I didn't know working outside, tanning easily, looking like toasted bread, and having the genetics that I do counted as raceface.
Yep. Big ass elephant.
No shame. Fuck outta here with "cyber with me or I'll kill myself"
[center [size9 Sick of being in my head and thinkin' about my fate and worried about my health.
Wanna waste away my days with a pretty young thing and blow through all my wealth.
I made some mistakes, not so good with planning,
But I got some skills in easy living.
Cut my ties with desperation,
And learned to live with a little sensation.
[center [size10 "GET OUTTA MAH ASS PLS IM TRYING TO BE A NICE PERSOn"
"I never even knew you but I FUCKING HATE YOU and I hope the worst of you."
Anyone see the elephant in the room? And the problem with these two statements?
Anywho, been meaning to post in here anyway but been so tired from moving shit for 3 days straight. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't already have carpal tunnel and a neck that likes to feel broken but oops I do. So I've been in alot of pain, no position feels right cause my whole self is just hurtin. So since tomorrow I'll finally finish unpacking my shit, I'll go ahead and post now.
Back in Rome and it's alot better here now. Their new car is hella rad and knowing that everyone seems so excited for Davey's side to move here soon is great. Kasvah got his new huge ass tank set up today and he didn't appreciate it one bit, but I know he secretly will love it. The dogs all get along so whenever I leave the room now, Pippy and Misha come out there with me. Shit's going so much smoother now, it's fantastic.
Don't like being away from Setka and Desmond but y'know.. Just tryin not to think about it. Don't have time to, kek.
Also, oof. When other people do the asking someone out when you're already with someone and it doesn't work. Meanwhile Aleks' mom knows I'm with Davey's side and Caleb and is trying to think of a way to eventually get him here too. But bad bf alert, I have no idea how long we've been going out, I'm terrible with periods of time. Oh well. Long enough that Setka is just completely used to it and doesn't even think twice about it now.
Fuck you Desmond, get off my dick. You just mad you can hear me typing but you can't watch my journal entries over my shoulder while I'm making em now.]]
I clicked a link that was "Mercy-" and was lead to that profile and i thought it was the chick who was all "CYBER WITH ME OR ILL KILL MYSELF"
but apparently I've got the wrong account
Fuck you Mercy and your emotional manipulation. Wherever you are.
That was a message for you not that poor person
Fucking big whoops but I know what I said
[center [pic http://i.imgur.com/Smh7kxM.jpg]][center [size10 gonna ask James tomorrow if I paid him if he'd give me deer antlers and deer blood. I wanna make proper runes but I don't want to take as long as wood would and I think I've sort of missed the window to get the wood I'd need. But also there's really no trees around here that call out to me. I also want to mix my own blood in with the deer blood but I'd have to first research the safest way to get my blood with out harming myself horribly. I want to mix me essence with that of nature's. I don't know what my life is turning into but that's perfectly okay. Should have bought a bag for the runes I bought but that's okay. This is just a learn set anyways.]][center [s [size10 I spent so much money today but at least rent got paid and I still got money for what few bills I do have.]]]
[center Will someone please collect their angry child please? I think she got lost in my pms.]
[center [pic https://imgur.com/nCe2xRq.png]]
I'm glad I got the job and all, I just wish people wouldn't see that as "oh, you'll be making money, no buy me stuff". That's not how that works. I have vet bills and and soon I'll have car insurance to pay. I won't have enough to just spend on people that think they can push me around.
[center [#FF0000 [b Teenage Drama Alert ]]
[size8 [#FF0000 Don't fucking read it if you don't want to be annoyed. ]]
[size9 I've done something so stupid, it almost ruined my WHOLE relationship. I had the balls to pull a fucking 16-year-old and ask someone else out whilst still dating Rix. Amazing right? How could I possibly fuck up anymore with my love? Rix just reassured me it was fine, how in the FUCK could she forgive me? It was a huge surprise not gonna lie, I'm not afraid of my mate but when you do something to him, he can get pretty intense.
I guess I worship that intenseness. Anyways, Rix reassured me it's because currently, I'm off my Adderal or whatever and that I'm going through a depressive withdraw and that I felt hopeless in love. It's weird when Rix get's me right. Anyways, gotta live through this week without it and it already seems really bad.
[size10 [+silver Sigh. I just really need to vent a let it all out... part of me just want to keep it all bottle up...
Look I don't want to be here either... I know pretty sad I still live with mommy and daddy right? Well I've been saving for a house they're pretty fucking expensive... Maybe by the end of the summer if I am lucky...Then again luck doesn't seem to be on my side.
Another thing....You act like I don't do much of anything around the house. I take care of your dogs when you are away... I guess that don't mean much... you probably miss your dog sitter when I move out. Once I hopefully have my place, I'll be busy with my own animals. So sorry I won't be able to take care of yours....
[right -Monster ]
[google-font https://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Croissant+One] [croissant+one [center [#79a07c I just need to survive a few more days and by a few more days I mean one more week and I get a shit ton of days off to recover from this bullshit job. After December and me getting crazy sick I have just been stupid exhausted. I can’t even get myself to enjoy anything. It’s hard. Oh well lmao. Such is life. It feels like I’m starting to disassociate again so peace lmaoooo
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