For the first time in a long time,I have considered writing again.
I have been so caught up with work and stressing out over bills, I have almost completely given it up.
But I want to try it again..I actually want to enjoy writing again.
It's about to be a very long road ahead of me.
Well. Back to work.
[center [size10 Wow how funny is it that my neighbor reacted to what I told her exactly how I thought she would. Here's another grand reason for why I never tell the "adults" in my life shit. She also reacted to me shaving my head the way I thought she would which is the entire reason I wore a hat over here. I fucking hate this, I wish people would listen to me with out thinking I'm over reacting, because really I'm not, I shouldn't be doing this shit to myself, I shouldn't be experiencing these things, but somehow they keep reacting like it's not as bad as I'm saying. Fuck them and fuck this just fucking listen to me for fucks sake, I can't leave this up to people that are too far away from me to do shit. Maybe if I get my bitch ass Baker acted they'll fucking listen lol]]
Build that damn tower too high and there it comes.
Comes crashing down, down as slow as the days are long.
Takes one little blow from a little someone to have it tumble down.
Then again that blow has the winds of a thousand bad storms from a far blowing it to bring this tower I build tumbling down.
Whatever shall I do?
Pick the pieces up and travel upon my way.
Stumble upon some other lonely desolate place far along the trail.
Go about again building this tower.
Only for it to tumble on down again.
the mistakes of the past are meant to teach, not meant to repeat.
[center [size11 tired tired tired. always tired. always always tired. always hungry. always tired. always sad. always tired.]]
[center [size11 maybe the medicine giving me energy will help improve my mood. being tired take a toll on my mental state pretty easily, unfortunately ;]]
[center [size11 playing ib with you was soooo fun ♡ i hope we can start the witch's house tonight, too. that game's a bit scarier but they're both pretty equally hard. still like ib better tho fite me]]
[center [size11 i'm going to rest.. and hopefully wake up in a better mood than what i'm feeling like now. if we go out, i hope it helps a little.]]
[center [size11 sweet dreams ♡]]
[center [size10 No one is one gonna stop me from loving you.]]
[center [size10 Some of the "beliefs" my neighbor has confuses me. She does believe that men can be the victims of abuse, that really anyone one can be, and that's great because sometimes people forget that. The problem though is that she doesn't believe men can be raped, it doesn't make any sense to me. Is it because anatomy and how a man's body works says it can't happen??? It doesn't matter what a person's body says it matter what they say. The difference between rape and consenual sex is so simple, if they consent it's consensual and you're fine, but once it's turns into them saying no that's when you gotta stop. Tbh I love ali, she feeds me and makes sure I'm not dead but his understanding of things is just... Off. She is pro trump so you can imagine some of the things that come out of her mouth but she'll still tell you she's tolerant. She's okay of someone is trans or gay or whatever but she doesn't understand asexuality she just thinks it's because I haven't found the right person or been in a serious enough relationship, which is a lie. I have my soulmate, it's just not a traditional love. To be honest she's like a less horrible version of my mom, because at least I can talk about my depression and anxiety and worries with her, unlike my mom who cringes or tries to change the subject.]]
[center [size10 he replies:my humble princessa, I wouldn't let any other man touch you even if you are drunk. you may need more drinks but I need you to only look at me, think about me and watch me. All I can reply is:Your Princessa will obey...lit night with drinks and a cute guy. oh Lord I never been so drunk before]]
My favorite uncle of all time has no idea I'm bisexual. Since we were on topic of gays, I asked him about his baby, what if scenarios and his response, I approved of. His wife, my aunt had a good response too, better than expected.
Then we got into the topic of bisexuals. He had nothing to say of it but she did. I was not impressed. If anything I took offense but I poker faced it. I had an inner frown.. she thinks bis are confused.. or it's just something people do or claim to look "cool" or be "different". I've heard this before.. she said she thinks there is only black and white. Can't like both, so she said she thinks it is mostly confusion. These are people not part of my generation so I wasn't entirely surprised but since she supports gays and lesbians, I thought we were in the clear.
I left it alone after that. I was pretty bummed..
I told you. I'd do whatever it took to get you away from me.
[paprika [center [#a47f82
You'll get tired of me too....
[center [size11 i waited for you]] [center [size11 i waited for you]][center [size11 i had so many chances i could never go through]]
[center [size11 i pause and look back]] [center [size11 and then i lose track]] [center [size11 i spent so much time i can never get back]]
[center [size11 could wait forever]] [center [size11 but then i won't learn]] [center [size11 that memories fade no matter how much it hurts]]
[center [size11 and on the inside]] [center [size11 i feel my heart cry]] [center [size11 i'm tearing at the walls in the corners of my mind]]
[center [size11 wanna tell you just to hold on]] [center [size11 to nights we spent so long]] [center [size11 hold on]] [center
[size11 i still regret]] [center [size11 every word]] [center [size11 that day]] [center [size11 i never said]]
[center [size11 i waited for you]] [center [size11 i waited for you]] [center [size11 i had so many chances i could never go through]]
[center [size11 i pause and look back]] [center [size11 and then i lose track]] [center [size11 i spent so much time that [i i'm can never getting back...]]] [center [size11 now i will never get the chance to tell]] [center [size11 y o u]]
Why does literally everyone have to be such jerks..
I'm not okay
And that's okay
I'm not insane
There is an explanation for all this
Its just something that was ignored
Youlk be okay
They can't get you
They aren't real
No matter how much you think they are
We survived this in high school
We can survive this now
We are stronger than them
It'll all be okay when we wake up
You'll be exhausted but that's understandable
Just breathe and live
[center [size10 So, today was a successful day, pretty okay. Didn't get any homework done, that's not good. Overwatch was trash overall today. Terrible night.]]
[center [size10 You know what else was terrible? The amount of perverts who cat called me today. One asshole in a car literally made smoochy sounds at me.. I was like, did I just hear right? Look over to my mom and she's shaking her head. Then at the dmv too.. I got a lot of attention today and it was gross... I don't care if you find me attractive, I can handle those OBVIOUS stares but bothering me, fuck off.]]
[center [size10 Can a girl go out without fuck bois making things uncomfortable.]]
All posts are either in parody or to be taken as literature. This is a roleplay site. Sexual content is forbidden.