Friend is taking me to the movies for a belated birthday celebration. She wants to see a romance but I couldn't care less... Also wearing a dress for the first time in almost three years
I've always told people I'm
Angry, selfish, and just stupid mean
But you know what
All the caution tape just piques their curiosity
If you stick your head deeper in the jaws
Maybe it'll just snap
Call me up when you figured this shit out
Because I'm done with telling people
"I told you so"
And I hate when you think you can censor me out
These harsh profanities stay with me
So if you can't step in and learn it
Maybe you oughta stop induldging in your
Want to fix somebody as broken as me
Because eventually I'mma curve it
I'm not some pet you can pick up and snuggle
Wait even pets have boundries
And they aren't entirely docile
So why do you think I'm your doll
You can't love me and leave me out
I'm not some companion you rub and run from
Once you've fed me I'll always come around
But it doesn't mean I'm declawed
I'm certainly not rational but it's rational
That what you're doing to me makes me
I guess all I can say is I've always warned strangers
About what it's like to love me
It's become tiring when they realize
I was the person I claimed to be
Yet they were someone I never thought I'd meet
So fucking ugly
But i love you
Sorry I am always so mean
I never thought you'd be tired of me
When you said you're fine with all of me
When the little in you awakens when hearing "good job, kitten" even though it wasn't directed towards you. Gotdamn. Rip in pepperoni.
Also probs didnt help he got a deep voice and accent. I love me some accents. Not that it was lile a nasty english one buuuut yeahhhh
[center [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6v-oVPROexw]]
[center [size14 [font "Courier New" [#696969 ~ ]]]] [i [size8 [font "Courier New" [#696969 "This song is about a young girl who trades her virginity for immortality without knowing the price she would pay for becoming eternal. It's really beautiful, I love this song so very much. The meaning is pretty deep, but I do love it for the tugging lyrics."
[center [size14 [font "Courier New" [#696969 ~ ]]]]
Yesterday just put me in a mood of wanting to step out into busy traffic. Yesterday I wanted nothing more than to just disappear because nothing I do will ever be enough because everyone holds that “why can’t you just be more like your sister” card over my head. Yet, my sister was the one who wouldn’t unlock the doors to the car so I could get my purse and my wallet out of it. She drove off with my hand still on the handle, then demanded that I get in the car from the sunroof. Yesterday was the day that broke down in the middle of my mom’s yard after my sister finally unlocked the doors and I was able to get my purse and my wallet. Everything I did to make her happy was literally thrown out the window and I just felt helpless. I felt used and stolen from. I finally got to my grandfather’s house and I get to my room to find that she stole my cosplay and food money that I put up from my last paychecks. I’m just done.
Please, Just leave me alone.
Someone wouldn't go as far as doing that to me.
At least I tell myself that.
With each passing day I try to move on.
How do people do it?
They never tell you of these kind of heart breaks.
They never tell you about these kinds of feelings.
[s Maybe because people make everything about romance and shit like it's the best thing to ever happen to you.]
They never told me about people like you.
Who listen and make you feel special. No, they only warn about the boys who do that to get in your pants.
They never said you'd cry over people who would listen.
They never said this heartbreak would seem almost impossible to mend.
But still I float through every day like it didn't happen. I even forget, sometimes. But then in the quiet moments I remember.
Someone touched my soul and decided it wasn't something they liked. They muttered something and then, I saw, I revealed my core to someone who I didn't know. And didn't want to know. Selfish was I to have fooled myself into thinking they were someone else.
[center [size10 okay but i legit did my research wrong and found out this might not take nearly as long but at the same time like do y'all realize how much of a pain getting $105 bucks actually might be? And even if I get the $105 for the ticket I might wind up taking forever to get the money to ship my shit tho tbh idek how much shipping my stuff would cost I don't even have that much and prolly the two heaviest things to ship would be tabitha and my weird gas tank. And honestly at this point i don't even care if I don't have everything of mine so long as I have the majority of it and can get it up there and get my ass up there and get tf outta this place.]]
[center [size10 I'mma do this one way or another mother fucker]][center [size9 Seriously tho guys, donate, I need a fresh start and a job and shit]]
[size10 going to surround myself with fictional waifus and call it a day.
also, if ya can, donate money to Mochi/Ace . cuz y'know. He doesn't deserve to be homeless, or miserable, or anything bad really. He deserves good things and any small amount of money helps.]
[center [https://www.youcaring.com/nikolasokolov-1141064?utm_campaign=buttonshare&utm_medium=url&utm_source=copy&utm_content=cf_cp_01 Hey, people of ES, take like 5 minutes out of your day to give me like a dollar or two or however much to get my bitch ass out of fucking florida.]][center Thank you in advance yo][center [size10 Also like I'll be moving in with Xephy/Repo, like help reunite some hella rad soulmates while you're at it.]][center [size10 Or don't and make xephy cry cause you let Neon wind up on the streets and never to be heard from again]][center [size10 That actually might sound dramatic but that's legit what might happen folks. I'm in one hell of a predicament.]][center [size10 That Sharon bitch really is a piece of work y'all, so glad I don't have her name attached to me.]][center [size10 "Who's this sharon bitch???"]][center [size10 Idk man, some bitch that thinks she's a human I guess, what a joke.]][center [size10 Okay I'm done I swear it.]]
Like a puppet on string. All feels like its strangling me at last. There isn't many words left to write. There isn't any thoughts left to process. I'm just a puppet on string. String of my choices. Nothing left but get strung up. This puppet is fed up. Yet this puppet ain't Pinocchio, this puppet is Geppetto. Crafting away with words endlessly. Yet there ain't many words left for him to say. His words turn choices turn string. Tie him up, wrap him up, hang him up. Now you hang a mirror up to his face. Make him realize there ain't no such thing as fate. Whats there left to say, in this digital age? Where the words we choose aren't our own. There's nothing left here in this wasteland of junk, masquerading as punk.
[Center [YouTube https://youtu.be/liQ8K8fRMIA]]
[Center [Size10 ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ]]
Patting myself on the back for all this hard work.
I have set aside now 550$ for this move. It's 250 on wednesday, 200 on the first, and then the apartment is #Mine. Cheaper than anything. I get paid twice before then, too. Yes, this is going to be a good couple of weeks. Finally getting out of here and living life again. WITH INTERNET HOLY HELL I CANT WAIT TO USE MY $3000 GAMING RIG AGAINNNN
Ugh it's gonna have so many updates though Dx
[size12 I realize I'm not the best at communicating my own emotions, and people only seen to fathom that something is wrong after I'm finally broken down and sobbing. I never smiled much and I'm a burnout. My stress levels are always through the stratosphere now. I thought I had escaped everyone's expectations when I moved miles away. Of course it's never that simple and I'm drowning again. I've tried and I'm tired.]
[size12 Guess I'll just go and bake a cake.]
GUYS MY BOYFRIEND ISN'T A FAN OF DINOSAUR CHICKEN NUGGETS AND HONESTLY THIS IS DEVASTATING.
That's all I have, peace.
I've had quite the anount of emotional break downs and fights, but regardless I've been actually doing really good. Like Life legit feels nice. It's weird....
All posts are either in parody or to be taken as literature. This is a roleplay site. Sexual content is forbidden.