[size10 I haven't felt this way in a while.
The amount of stress, I guess it's only to be expected.
Sometimes you just need to let it out.
I'm just waiting on COD:WW2 to finish downloading but with my sister gaming in the house as well, it'll be awhile.
It frustrates me to be this way at the moment.
Feeling this down but hey, no flower blooms all year long.
Yesterday's conversation with my aunt made me realize..
I don't want my family to ever isolate themselves from each other, I don't want my mom to ever feel alone.. or my dad-- especially my sister.
But we eat together at the table almost every dinner.
I'm grateful for that.
We're actually a lot closer than I realized and I wish my cousins could have that. I wish they'd open up to us. They're family too but they're do distant. I get really happy when they come over-- I wish they'd do it more often.
I just want everyone to be happy..
[size09 I think I'm going to pretend I live in a world where sao had good characterization. it's ... a bit disappointing. I love some of the characters a lot, but hate how the story turned. and how they changed some of the characters. I dunno . I just wish it was ... Less like a harem anime, I guess. I wish Kirito was less like a gary stu. I loved tf out of it when it first came out , but the second half of the first season was meh to me . I liked bits of it , but the first half of the first season was the best to me . I just don't care for Alfheim like I did SAO. And GGO. Maybe it's because there's an element of danger and drama in those, and Alfheim is just kinda ... Bland to me. I know there was the whole arc where Kirito was trying to save Asuna, but it was still just meh. It wasn't as interesting as the concept of "oh hey they can die."
I dunno . Maybe I'm just weird .
I was so excited when it came out though, because it reminded me of .hack . Granted people in .hack don't die , they just go into a coma, but still. They're a bit similar. Mmm ... I'll have to watch Ordinal Scale. Maybe it'll be nice . Maybe they'll fix a bit of stuff that bugs me .
also , johnny yong bosch and yuri lowenthal pls
why you gotta voice all of my hubbies
[center Had a blast with Clair and Eugenio last night. Got props for my make up as well which was actually nice cause I thought it was half assed and not done up enough. Got to see some cool costumes that kids were wearing. Got to make a kids night just by recognizing his costume as homestuck. Had a small doggo get frightened of me when I started to pet him cause my face. All in all I didn't do anything too crazy for Halloween but I had a blast and got to get dressed up for something and I loved it.]
[center Also we found Waldo]
[youtube https://youtu.be/fxQHi1QXboo] all dead all dead all dead and gone.
Its the last day of spooky month... I don't know how I feel. This is normally a good day. Hope everyone else is doing better than I am today.
Well, I smell like doughnuts. No matter how many showser I took last night, the smell just sticks to my hair. I love this job so far and I’m happy to be here, but the smell of this sickly sweet shit is going to take some getting use to.
[center [Saira+Extra+Condensed [size14 [b The one time I could have used autocorrect and it's like nah m8, I'mma let you look like a fucking idiot.
[center [Saira+Extra+Condensed [size14 [b Did up my profile a bit. Had Shadow of the Colossus music playing for over an hour now. Technically been in a call but really I'm not all that there. Just feeling kinda weird and off today. Will probably shower soon and start settling down for the night. Am finding myself exceptionally uninterested in pretty much everything I can play, which is a bit annoying.
Watched some game trailers today. Ghost of Tsushima looks amazing. I was pretty much instantly hooked on the concept. The new Shadow of the Colossus trailer was just the intro on updated graphics, but that was super hype too. It's funny, cause in my head, that's exactly how the game looked, but revisiting it via an emulator sure showed me. Detroit Become Human appears to be a glorified walking simulator, but it still looks awesome. New God of War is based around Norse mythology, and even though the game play is definitely different - even a little slower seeming - I'm still really excited to see what the game has in store. What gods and creatures will appear, I wonder. Will Kratos fuck everything up again? Probably.]]]
[center [size15 [font "didot" •[u D E P R E S S I O N] •]]][center [size8 [font "didot" [i /listening to "Gravity" /
[center [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbn7Tdknbos]]
[center [size10 I'm honestly disgusted. There were 3 legendary Halloween skins I wanted, 1 I'd be happy with and I only have enough currency for one of them. Like 800 away from being able to get two. And I literally got every legendary for this event EXCEPT the 4 I wanted. Wtf? Junkrat Roadhog Mei Torb fuckin... I got 2 of Reins normal legos. I'm just so done. I got like 10 more loot boxes not to mention the 25 that Rami's side got us both. And still not one of them dropped. And we wanted the McCree alot but if we don't get the Sym one, someone's gunna pitch a fit. So we can't even get the one most of us wanted most. Fml. I need an OW sugar daddy.]]
[coming+soon [center [size15 [#859ecc [b Was gonna rant about some bitches but I decided I didn't need that. Wow. How adult of me. I'm proud tbh.
Wow. I put in a lot of hours guys! It's why I've been so inactive because... well.. I have a job. I'm really such a good adult. I'm doing good. I don't know what it's like to be miserable like a lot of people out there.
I know it's awful of me to hope but I hope my dad fights for custody so I can see my family. I mean, fuck the guy he's a real nut case. But my sister? Its been years. My depressionngot so bad I never cared to remember her birthdays but I promise that this birthday I will make it special.
I really love my boyfriend. What did I do to deserve such a wonderful man? Oh right all the trauma I lived through lol. Anyways I love him and it's a beautiful thing we have.
Also, , I really care about you. More than you know. I think about you all the time. And I feel bad because I never say a thing to you but.. I care. And I.. yeah. An unspoken thing should remain unspoken.
[center [size10 [#7B77A5 I set my sail
Fly the wind, it will take me
Back to my home, sweet home
Lie on my back
Clouds are making way for me
I'm coming home, sweet home
I see your star
You left it burning for me
Mother, I'm here
Eyes open wide
Feel your heart and it's glowing
I'm welcome home, sweet home
I take your hand
Now you'll never be lonely
Not when I'm home, sweet home
I see your star
You left it burning for me
Mother, I'm here
[center [pic http://i.imgur.com/VQMIXbR.gif]]
[size10 [center I really don't understand what your problem with me is, or why you treat me like I'm stupid and don't know what I'm doing. I've been working here for nearly four months . I know what I'm doing . I knew the fucking trash needed taken out. Didn't need your bitchy ass telling me . Or getting all pissy when I said I needed help taking it out and that's all I was trying to do . I'm not fucking stupid so quit treating me like I am. Quit treating me like shit. Quit expecting me to do everything by myself, and help others when you don't expect anyone to help me. Or ask anyone to . I'm sick of you treating me like shit and I'm sick of your fucking double standard. You always expect me to drop what I'm doing and help everyone else because "we're a team." yet you never ask anyone else to help me . I'm sick of it and I'm not letting it happen anymore.
I don't give a fuck if you want me to drop what I'm doing and help someone else . It isn't happening . I don't care if you're a supervisor, and I don't care if you whine to the managers or the owners. If they need help, they can ask me and I will help . But if they don't, I'm not going to do it. Unless I want to. I'm sick of not getting my shit done because you tell me to stop what I'm doing and help other people. This isn't a fucking team. You just wanna torture me and make me break my back for everyone else and you only expect it of [i me]. Never anyone else. I'm just so fed up. I don't get paid enough to put up with your shit , and I've been working so many fucking extra hours that I'm just fucking tired at this point.
[center When your claim for disability gets turned down because you haven't worked enough and you just sit there and go "wtf" cause that's the whole reason you even applied is cause you can't work. They didn't even look into my case because of that. Like okay but you gonna get real sick of seeing my name guys cause I ain't gonna stop I'm going to appeal and now that I'm on appeal status it's gonna make getting a lawyer so much easier. I knew I would prolly get turned down the first time but didn't figure it would happen this fast. Oh well, just gotta keep trying and trying.]
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