[center [size10 take a fucking song cause I'm too tired to share my actual thoughts]]
[center [youtube https://youtu.be/dNLy42cjwv4]]
what the fuck would possess you to put teens in your roleplay about pregnancy? it doesn't matter if you timeskip the naughty bits, its still implied that those [b children] have had/are having sex. I get that it happens irl, but shit dude. it just squicks me in general when people put kids in roleplays. squicks me even more when those roleplays are centered around one of those kids getting pregnant. its just gross. play an adult if you wanna do that shit. get outta here with your nasty, child-fetishizing ass.
I keep trying to break this door down, only to be greeted by it when I come back.
Thus I gladly walk back into it just for it to lock behind me.
Security? Safety? Suffocation?
What I do know is simple: The more free I become, the more I feel something grow tighter around me. Caught in a limbo-like state that mutates into something worse the further in life I go.
[Kodchasan [Center [b The pain never ends. It Never Ends. ]
Stared off as a one-night stand,
Lingered to a fling.
The sirens and sergeants didn't seem to mean a thing.
Hide your fangs all you want,
You still need the blood.
Tell us that it's different now,
You're up to no good!
One more nail in the coffin,
One more foot in the grave.
One more time, I'm on my knees as I try to walk away.
How has it come to this?
I've said it once a thousand fucking times.
You say this is suicide.
[i I say this is a war! ]
And I'm losing the battle.
Man down, man down...
Is this what you call love?
This is a war I can't win.
I've said it once,
I've said it twice,
I've said it a thousand fucking times!
That I'm okay,
That I'm fine,
That it's all just in my mind.
But this has got the best of me,
And I can't seem to sleep.
It's not 'cause you're not with me,
It's 'cause you never leave.
Every second, every minute, every hour, every day.
[s It never ends,
It never ends. ]
I am an ocean, I am the sea.
There is a world inside of me.
Lost in the abyss, drowned in the deep.
No set of rules salvage me.
Only a shipwreck, only a ghost.
Merely a graveyard of your former self.
We just watched the waves crash over.
I've been cast astray.
[i There is a Hell, believe me I've seen it.
There is a Heaven, let's keep it a secret. ]
[s [i No one needs to know. ]]
If we make it through the night, if we make it out alive.
Lord have mercy and pray for the dead.
And you say that you can save me.
Don't hope to ever find me.
I fear I'm too far gone.
[i [s Pray for the dead ]]
[Center It's honestly so cute to see people try to change. But they're the same piece of shit I always seen them to be. Layer up your clothes, cover up your curses, you're still the asshole everyone has said you are. You may have others buy into it because you seem "chill asf" but the time will come around and I won't be telling them "I told you so" because I'm not like those other folks who think they're so clever.
Speaking of shitty people, is it just me, or is every Tiffany I know just a bit of a cunt? Tiffany: who screwed her ex husband over, got knocked up, fucked herself out of a fucking great roof over her head, fucked over her family more than anyone can count..
Tiffany: spazz.. cant focus on more than one thing, attracts perverts who message her coworkers, doesn't like anyone that isnt in her clique, gives drugs and alcohol to minors...
Tiffany: fucks her boyfriend anywhere anytime, eyebrows can be washed off if water was thrown at her, cant take a joke, constantly talking about her boyfriend, thinks shes better.
Tiffany: hates everyone and everything opposing of her, always the victim, is the crazy manipulative ex, actually learned to finally mind her business after too long..
Feel free to provide some mother bitches named tiffany.
It’s been kinda chill.
Five horses to work and train before Christmas plus one to ride and one to lunge but it’s a good thing I like them.
Balancing that with work and University and I’m pretty busy, although I have annual leave this week which makes it all a wee bit more bearable!
[size10 [center That first part down there is exactly why I find it hard to believe when people say they've changed. Cause too many people wanna say they've moved on but then get WAY too excited when they find something that could help their case in any way or to help redeem their already crippled reputation.
When in reality. At this point. You've already done so much damage. It doesn't matter who did what. They can smoke a joint, smoke a bowl, do whatever the hell they wanted. You. Were. Still. The. Adult. In. Charge. I don't care what fall back you were trying to prevent or how upset they may have been, you were the one that gave it to them. Period. I don't care how or when, or if they willingly did it and you didn't force them. They were young and smoking that shit can fuck up your brain development at that age, not even considering the mental issues that they already had.
Stop trying to prove shit. As I've said before. No one cares who was right and who was wrong. No one cares what's disproved. Cause how you handled things after is what really turned everyone away. What was once shit. Will always be shit. You and me both included, baby. So fuckin get over it, bitch and lay in the bed you made for yourself. Stop showing that ugly head of desperation.]]
[center [size10 This part of this delayed but honestly had better shit to do tbh but when someone wanna dig shit up again and try to prove themselves right when no one cares anymore. Then uses a piece of evidence that's irrelevant cause oh boy let me tell you how I cannot watch that video no matter how many times I've tried. Doesn't wanna post it in public, will send it over a group chat that hasn't been used since last year. Literally have better shit to do than sit here while you try to prove some shit that's done and over with.]][center [size10 Also it's hilarious when someone is trying so hard to act like a concerned caring person and trying to find any means to contact you directly and you know damn well it's because they want to be able to get a hold of you so they can ask you to cover their shifts. It's even funnier when I show matt the note she had her boyfriend come in that said "if you ever need a place to stay over night for one night call or text me" and he takes it, crumples it up, shoves it in the sink for a few, and then throws it out. Shady offer is shady considering she lives in a hotel. She's gonna get real sick of this real fast but bless matt for that shit and for letting me know i'm not over reacting for thinking that shit shady af. I've got the coworkers i'm okay with having means to contact me on my facebook already, if I wanted anymore I'd let you know.]][center [size10 tbh some people tho. just leave shit be, whether it means shit that's past dead or tryna be my friend when i know damn well it's fake as shit. Not to be that bitch but sorry not sorry he still likes me more than he'll ever like you. And tbh that's enough for me.]]
[center [pic http://i.imgur.com/XzJu4BO.gif]
[size10 hoo boy. finished bnha season 3. loved it. the end to the exams was great.
fell in love with 2 outta 3 of "The Big 3."
In love with Tamaki already. he's so my type. Dunno why my type seems to be the emo kids but here I am. I have a history of it. Sasuke. Noctis. Kayn. like fack. I have such a type it's awful. Someone call me out on my shit pls. but tho , I was a little surprised by Bakugo. He seemed like an asshole, tryna beat up Deku, but then showed he has feelings. Like, just when I think he's nothing but an asshole, he does something that shows he's got a big heart. What a tsundere lol.
I was gonna try and hoard Nejire's name , but of course someone beat me to it. And hoarded both of her last names too lmao. I'd fight a bitch , but nah . It's not worth it, considering I'm barely on this site as it is.
All I do is work at this point and man , and I'm tired. I have a hard af time staying awake when I get home from work. Can't wait until Saturday, so I'll have a day off. Also, getting my Path of Radiance soon. c: Got to see it today. So blessed that the owner of the store is going to hold it for me. ♡ anyway. got things to do . or well, things I wanna do before going to bed. gotta try and finish wondrous tails before next Tuesday. Wish I could watch more bnha but there's no more. :c might find the SAO movie and watch that. Maybe Alicization too.
anyways. that's all on my mind for now lol. goodnight , to no one in particular.]]
[Kodchasan [Center [b Throne // Doomed // Wonderful Life ]
Remember the moment you left me alone.
And broke every promise you ever made.
I was an ocean,
Lost in the open.
Nothing could take the pain away.
So you can throw me to the wolves.
Tomorrow, I will come back.
Leader of the whole pack.
Beat me black and blue.
Every wound will shape me.
Every scar will build my throne.
Cut off my wings and come lock me up.
Just pull the plug,
I've had enough.
Tear me to pieces,
Sell me for parts.
You're all vampires so here.
You can have my heart.
[i you can have my heart... ]
The walls are a funeral,
I run with ghosts.
No hint of movement,
No sign of pulse.
Only an echo,
Just skin and bone.
Then kick the chair but we,
We help tie the rope.
So come rain on my parade.
‘Cause I want to feel it.
Come shove me over the edge.
‘Cause my head is in overdrive.
I’m sorry but it’s too late,
And it’s not worth saving.
So come rain on my parade.
I think we’re doomed.
And there is no way back.
You must of made some kind of mistake.
I asked for death, but instead I’m awake.
The devil told me “No room for cheats.”
I thought I sold my soul.
But he kept the receipt.
So leave the lights on!
I’m coming home!
It’s getting darker but I carry on.
The sun won’t shine here,
It never did.
And when it rains,
[b It fucking pours. ]
But I think I like it,
And you know I’m in love with the rain.
[i ...Silence... ]
Looked on the brightside, got keratitis
And you can't sit there,
Unless you're righteous.
I wear a happy face like I'm Ed Gein.
I feel all numb now,
Is that a feeling?
Like a plastic boxed orange with no peel on-
[s I wanna waste, ]
[s I wanna waste, ]
[S [b I wanna waste away ]]
Alone getting high on a Saturday night.
I'm on the edge of a knife.
Nobody cares if I'm dead or alive.
[i Oh, what a wonderful life. ]
I got a type 2 kinda thirstiness.
A far out other worldiness,
And one day this might hurt me less.
But everybody still knows I'm down.
Don't tell me what the butcher does.
There's no need for the obvious.
So ugly, still it's kinda lush.
But everybody knows I made vows.
Left foot on the podium.
Can't think of an alternate.
And hell yeah I'm the awkwardest.
But everybody knows I still got bounce.
[Kodchasan [Center I've got a secret.
It's on the tip of my tongue,
It's on the back of my lungs.
And I'm gonna keep it.
[b I KNOW SOMETHING YOU DON'T KNOW! ]
It sits in silence, eats away at me.
It feeds like cancer, this guilt could fill a fucking sea.
Pulling teeth, wolves at the door.
Now falling and failing is all I know.
This disease is getting worse.
I counted my blessings, now I'll count this curse.
The only thing I really know,
I can't sleep at night!
I'm buried and breathing in regret.
[b YEAH! ]
I may seem happy, but honestly dear.
The only way I'll really smile,
Is if you cut me ear to ear.
I see the vultures,
They watch me bleed.
They lick their lips,
As all the shame spills out of me.
[B Repent! Repent! ]
[s THE END IS NEIGH! ]
[b Repent! Repent! ]
[s WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! ]
[B Repent! Repent!! ]
[s [b So get on your knees and pray for forgiveness! ]]
We all carry these things inside that no one else can see.
They hold us down like anchors.
They drown us out at sea.
I look up to the sky, there may be nothing to see.
But if I don't believe in him,
Why would he believe in me?!
[i why would he believe in me...?
why would he believe in me...?
why would he believe in me...?
Because I've got a secret,
And I'm gonna keep it. ]
Can you hear the silence?
Can you see the dark?
Can you fix the broken?
Can you feel, can you feel my heart?
Can you help the hopeless?
Well, I'm begging on my knees.
Can you save my bastard soul?
Will you ache for me?
[s I'm sorry brother.
So sorry lover.
Forgive me father.
I love you mother. ]
I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone.
I long for that feeling to not feel at all.
The higher I get, the lower I'll sink.
I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim.
The deeper you dig, the darker it gets.
There's nowhere else for us to go.
We live while we learn,
And then we forget.
We'll never find our way back home.
The wolves are at my door.
But I can see the writing on the wall.
[i The wolves are at my door. ]
Waiting for my empire to fall.
[center [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFoBBVmsgcc]
[size10 I think about you a lot. But I doubt you realize.
Whenever you have a day off, assuming your days off haven't changed - I find myself wondering if you're playing games. And what you're playing. I could find out easily, but I choose not to. I'm not sure why.
I'm tired so I'm not going to say much more just know that I ---
think about you a lot .]]
I feel strongly.
Or that's what I'm told.
My emotions are intense.
See my brainstorming flicks
Like a fire, it is so immense.
But as soon as it's gone up,
The wood goes and folds.
Suffocating the creativity that once lit-
What a treasure trove.
So tell me all your sweet words and whisper my name
Because I scream the song that you shared that day.
The one that only makes me ache because it proves you're so far away.
Untouchable, it's unreasonable these words could pluck my heart strings.
The melody really hits to maim.
They're starting to say I drink too much.
Well fuck it, I told them from the get that I loved to go high.
I always did what I could to blow my mind away to bits and pieces.
Acting like they never saw me step out that door walking the fuck away
My eyes in a blur, my head spinning.
Last time I walked until my hair was soaked with the rain,
Until my boots were caked from the dirt road I followed.
My Jean jacket couldn't break the wind through all the water it drank.
I knew that love was only ever capable of making me feel other than the same.
You're just a feeling in my brain.
You're just someone I can't see.
My love doesn't change what I have here.
I can pretend I'll be okay with this,
But I'm only fooling myself.
We shouldn't change. We should stay.
I should stay in my solitude, my empty mind is echoing.
I'm happy here. I'm happy where I am.
With my company.
It's okay to not be okay.
[Kodchasan [center [i You guys seriously don't know the trouble I go through to make the shit like this just to vent and tell people of what I'm going through... ]
Eyes like a car crash.
I know I shouldn't look but I can't turn away.
Body like a whiplash,
Salt my wounds but I can't heal the way I feel about you.
I watch you like a hawk.
I watch you like I'm gonna tear you limb from limb.
Will the hunger ever stop?
Can we simply starve this sin?
And then I found out how hard it is to really change.
Even Hell can get comfy once you settled in.
I just wanted the numb inside of me to leave.
No matter how fucked you get,
The sun will return and you come back down.
The funny thing is all I ever wanted,
I already had.
There's glimpses of Heaven in everyday.
In the friends I have,
In the music I make,
In the love I feel,
I just had to start again.
The days are a death wish.
A witch hunt for an exit.
I am powerless...
The fragile, the broken.
Sit in circles and stay unspoken.
We are powerless...
Can you tell from the look in our eyes?
We're going nowhere.
We live our lives like we're ready to die!
[Center [youtube https://youtu.be/qzhMO2sStKs]]
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