[center [size10 to all the people who been adding me on Facebook the past like 3 days wow I'm sorry I'm not ass cool as my lame lay out makes me look. I think that shit out aesthetically and theme wise but my actual content? A mess. It's like no kpop whatsoever half the time it's just shit posting most the time so if that's why you added me oops, you gonna get memes and shit with some kpop, sorry. But also wtf how does this always randomly happen, I ain't that cool but internet me gets all this attention the irl me gets to some degree but only slightly. Oof]]
[Center [size10 Man, it's like I need to either back off for a while or keep my mouth shut and not say anything when I am hanging out with people, even if it's good news. I'll just end up pissing people off anyway right? Then when they wonder why I'm distant I'll be like "oops my bad, I didn't notice I was receiving less attitude lately." Though lets be real I don't deserve a break right? It's just so awful to have someone help us out when we thought we were stuck. Would've been much better for us to have had to go the hard route and end up actually fucking broke for the next month or two right? I'm sure that would have been fun and non stressful. Fuck off with that bs.]]
[center [size10 I guess my inner circle is changing. Can't help it. Some people just have to push people out even when its against what they should do. Can't help everyone I guess especially when you need you look out for yourself first. Oh well.]]
[center [youtube https://youtu.be/8FJhEbhCYo8]]
[center I interrupt your boring day to let you know I am 100% Jenna
[center [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OrgpX-_bFqM]]
[left [pic https://i.imgur.com/eSV7zGC.gif]][center [size10 "if you had it you'd know"]]
[center [size10 turns out my mother was wrong because my lupus screening just came back positive and now they're running more tests because even if I don't have lupus the likelihood I have some kind of autoimmune disease is high. I'm now being set up with a rheumatologist and God knows where that doctor will be because there's only one in this town and we don't know if they take my insurance so I might have to go down south just to see my specialist to get this all figured out. I'm not anemic but my iron is low, my platelet count is high, my immune system is off, and my red blood count is low, but my hemoglobin? It's fine. Everything is just super wonky with my blood and something is wrong and they want to find out what it is and obviously it would explain a lot. It just amazes me it took this long to get anywhere seeing as my platelet count and iron issues aren't a new thing whatsoever.]]
[center [size10 I'd say pray for me but I'm honestly not that freaked out, at least not yet, this is an answer, and confirmation, closure I guess you could say. I just wanted to know and now I know. I was hoping for a negative but I got positive instead and I gotta live with that. It's whatever. Life gives you what it gives you and you just gotta take it as it comes.]]
He's gone... I didn't get to say goodbye. I really can't catch a break with the losses. My heart is heavy and my mind and my body are numb. I really can't handle death very well, especially when it's someone I'm extremely close to...
Yeah... Not looking forward to my birthday now. My mind is preparing itself for another loss that's soon to happen in the family... I'm really close with this person. He's like a second grandfather to me and I guess what hurts the most is this is probably what it would feel like to lose my grandfather. Fuck cancer... Just fuck... Not even 9 months after my grandmother passed away. I can't catch a fucking break, can I?
Work has been going really good
Mhw iceborne has been super fun.
Got paid yesterday.
It's a really nice job.
Joined a Union
Guarantee raises/Job protection and pension too.
Oh and health care with dental that's nice.
It's all really nice and the best part? Not exhausted.
Not a really hard job to be honest but not too easy either if that makes sense? I like it.
But I've been enjoying MHW Iceborne eve more.
For those who know the Pukei Pukei xD
Bout to go get some new armor too woot
Just been super happy lately is all <3
[Center [size10 Es bully turned Spino breeder? More likely than you think. I think i had like 6 spinos earlier tonight now I have 15. I thought i fell in love with this black purple and red one i found and then she had a black red and white baby boy. He's beautiful and when he's full grown I'm gunna use him as my personal spino to use. This is what I needed in ark. Its also become a coping I think. Helps give me a break from WoW but still getting that good coping shit. Relaxing me and all that. So if anyone wants a mediocre spino hit me up. But don't, they're all mine thnx.]]
[left [pic https://i.imgur.com/LxUYzVe.gif]]
[center [size10 so yeah, I had to get worse before I had a chance to get better, but hopefully things will get better and by things I mean my stability. Not financially, cause that's going to take a while and its going to take me working more hours again, but that won't be until I know I'm stable. I'm on meds again and I don't feel horrible on them. I'm sleeping decently and I don't feel like a fucking zombie and that's a plus. I really don't want to lose my 3rd day off simply cause i like having the option of a day to myself but if I have to lose it I will. In the long run I know where I want to get and fuck it, I'm going to try. Let's do it, that little boy doesn't have to hide and cry anymore, he can hold his own now. Mama ain't raise no bitch, she ain't raise you at all, honey. She just thought she did, her mother raised you more than she ever did and you have that woman's spirit more than anyone else's, remember that. She's with you, watching you and guiding you, you've got this.]]
Well I hope everyone else is doing well
I stepped in a place expecting a kennel tech job
I JUST WALKED OUT A DOG GROOMING APPRENTICE
I START TOMORROW
I. AM. EXCITED.
So, I'm sick. We don't know if it's the flu or that virus that mimics a sinus infection. All I know is that everything hurts and ribs are taking most of the damage from my coughing fits.
[size10 i feel like i'm losing sight of who i am again. i want to solve it, i [i need] to solve this, because i can't afford to start from scratch again.]
[size10 i'll figure it out. i have to figure this out.]
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