As long as the people I care about are happy, it doesn't matter if I'm miserable. I'll always be fucked.
All I can do is try my best to provide for you and ignore my unyielding loneliness.
[size10 for the record, I'm not drunk lol.
just gotta say. you're adorable. you make me feel ... happy ? I think that's the word for it. I dunno. I can only describe it as feeling light -- like I'm not feeling weighed down by all of my stresses and worries.
I wish I had more money because I honestly want to spoil you. I think I'll try and save some money so I can send you something small ... It'll be a start, at least.
Ahh, I don't know. I'm bad with words.
You became really important to me in such a short time. I don't regret it at all.
When you said the thing you wish you didn't but you did and now you're dying because you only did it because you're not sober and didn't think it through
[size10 Yeah yeah. I get it. I don't mean [i shit].
I'm exhausted. Worked five days this week so far. Have two more. aka ... 7 days in a row with no break. :D I'm going to be dead.
It's just been shitty day after shitty day. I'm so tired. I need a break, but I probably won't get an actual one. Go figure, right ?
I don't really have much to say. I'm super depressed and just hurting.
Not that it matters.
I'm just gonna keep to myself anyways.
I guess that's it.
[Milonga [center [size15 [#da8d71 I'm so ready to fucking leave this godforsaken job. It's given me that good shit and by good shit I mean money but man working with fake ass bitches really takes a toll on your health.
Also bless my lover. He's the greatest. Held my hand and watched me heal, kisses my pain and showered me with love. Even if I'm just a bitch. He treats me right and it melts away all the mean in me.
I am extremely worried about you, mom. I know you’re hurting. I saw you breakdown today and you just needed someone to talk to... My stepdad is being an idiot for not taking this job. If he can’t see and comprehend how much this is killing you, don’t force yourself to stay in this position... Mom, I love you and hearing you say you want to give up on living hurts.
[center [size10 you're nothing but a heart breaker and I live with the pain you've caused me constantly.
[size10 Turkey day. Should be happy but I worked, haha. And I'm working 7 days in a row. c: fun shit this week.
I'm dead tired. Hopefully I'll get a nice paycheck though.
Not gonna be here long. Gotta head to my dad's. Wish I could see my mom but she lives so far away.
Found out that there are Fairy Tail children and just -- man where have I been ?? I'm so far behind.
Sighhh. I just wanna buy some books but I should save my money. It's almost Christmas time and I should spoil my family, rather than myself. I just want books though ... Ah well.
We'll see what happens. I still need to pay the electricity bill. Probably when I get back from my dad's.
Really miss babe...I wanna show off my fort. But like I cant be mad he's with family. I mean sure I'm lonely because we postponed our thanksgiving but I will live. ill just stay in my fort and have some fun. Watch some youtube.
[center [size10 This all feels kind of surreal. I'm still waiting on me to wake up and it to all been some fucked up dream cause I've had em, but it's not going to happen. I wonder if she's thinking about me today on this day of Turkey and family drama and anger and if she's just swirling words of distaste or hatred about around in that head of hers. I thought i was okay Tbh but this is why I can't even trust myself. I wind up just pushing this all down so.much it's so fucking stupid. Its whatever tho Sharon can enjoy her happy little family, I didn't lose my family, I didn't lose my home. Like Bro said last night I'm home. I lost my child, but he'll be okay. We'll both be okay. I had some ugly ass shit thrown at me but right now it's all working out pretty well for me it's just having to cope with my emotions that's the biggest part of all of this]]
[center [size10 anyways I get to overeat today. Awyisss]]
Honestly, as the days go by my mental state is declining due to lack of sleep and stress. I just want to be able to wake up and not feel this heaviness on my chest anymore. Being told that your mom is going to be out of town for a job and that you’re going to responsibile for the animals while she’s gone is freaking me out. My grandmother is getting worse, she said that the oxygen isn’t working for her anymore. My grandfather is stressing out and depressed because of how close he is to losing his wife. My aunt is still bitching at me about her stupid makeup sales declining because more people are having issues like I did when wearing the stupid lipstick. I just want to crawl under a rock and disappear for a while...
I had everything going so well, and the this icident happened.
Is it wrong for someone to seek answers from the person they love?
Are their no meanings or reason to it at all?
I have so many questions, and not enough answers, it really is hard to understand these type of people.
I always thought there is a motive to others actions, and that i want answers to the reason to why they did it, you know after you said that you were gonna do it, and then you didn't, and that person told me it was nothing, i still didn't believe him.
And appereantly I'm stupid and a dumbass for trying to seek that from him.
I don't know if i am wrong or right, he has no motives at all.
I pushed and pushed..i completely create a mistake, and i don't know how am i suppose to feel...
It's frustrating, it's confusing..am i the jerk or him?
I don't have anyone. Karma for taking the one who matters for granted...
"Oh I know you're a kitty, but they don't have a goth cat ://///"
Listen here, papa frita, fight me.
[center I'm back?
yes sir! ;))
Probably not for long,, I poof way too often
I miss everyone~~
A few nights ago I went out with some cuties and got really baked, I laughed so hard at the fact they say "we're getting lit" and apparently that's the correct terminology but you won't catch me saying that :-9
On the other hand, I have a French oral final to study for and I'm so confident, easiest A.]
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