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Ryan laughed a little and shrugged. He felt the same with the girls he had dated. They all never really got close to what he had with Autumn. He was into Autumn and felt like he could do anything and everything for her. He was infatuated with her and he had been for years. He felt like his feelings had been amplified since they had gotten back together. He was so confused as to how only a few days had been so amazing but he wasn't surprised. They had amazing chemistry and it all came so natural to them. Their feelings, their conversations, their actions. It felt like they had been doing this all their lives. He felt like there was no one in the world that had the same connection.
"Hm.. I'll tell you anything you want to know." he smiled at her and leaned back when the waitress brought them their food. He looked up and gave her a smile, thanking her as well before looking down at his food. He looked up as she ate hers and chuckled at her happy food dance. Shaking his head at her, he looked down. "A quesadilla and a salad.." he smiled, looking at his own food. "I don't know.. we hadn't done anything like this before. It would be nice to come here a little more." he chuckled, taking a bite of his own food.
Autumn sighed. [+purple "Yeah, imagine me trying to do that. I think I was more pressured into it than actually wanted to do it."] she spoke. Autumn clearly wasn't an outdoorsy person, but when her boyfriend asked her to go, she agreed. She was constantly needing to convince herself that the person she was with liked her as well, but she didn't feel that way with Ryan, it was just natural with him.
Autumn honestly wondered what Ryan did for most of his time in school. He had mentioned the extended drug use, but she wanted to know more. She had missed so much of his life while they were away, and she wanted to be the person who knew everything about him once again. He had always been her person, and she was his. She was stupid for letting him slip away when he was so close before, she wasn't going to ever let it happen again.
[+purple "Yeah. But those guys were nothing compared to what you do to me. You made me feel things that I have never felt before. But I will never let you go now."] Autumn smiled at him. [+purple "But, you had a life too. I want to know everything I missed. Nothing is too boring."] she rested her head on her hand, biting on her lower lip. Autumn's heart was still beating faster than usual, but just keeping her eyes locked on Ryan's, she just felt calmer.
The waitress returned with their food, Autumn surprised by how fast the food came back. As simple as she went with a pasta dish, it still was presented as though it cost hundreds of dollars. She looked toward Ryan with an excited expression, before thanking the waitress as well. She twirled some pasta on her fork before bringing the food to her mouth. The taste was amazing. [+purple "My god...why have we never come here before?! This is amazing!"] she smiled, doing a small dance in her chair as she ate. [+purple "How's yours? What did you get anyway?"] she asked.
Ryan chuckled at her explanation. He didn't mind that she kept talking about past guys. He had his fair share of flings through the years.. it was completely normal. He found himself always thinking about Autumn at the end of the day, though. He just figured they wouldn't be getting together anyway and figured she had moved on. He was just happy they were single when they met up again. He wasn't sure how he'd react if she wasn't single when she came back now. He would try his hardest to not do anything but even before they had fooled around, he still had pictured it. He couldn't help it. "Wow... backpacking across the country, hey?" he asked. "Adventurous." he laughed a little bit. It was a big commitment to backpack across the country and you had to be very prepared for it. It was a lot of work. He figured it would be fun, but it would get exhausting after a bit. "Oh well.. his loss." he smiled. He could only imagine how backpacking across the country would be with her. All alone with nothing but time on their hands, he figured it would be a lot of fun. However, he was still a little upset she had to go through another messy breakup before she came here. "At least you're here." he shrugged. "Maybe one day you can go backpacking with someone you'll actually enjoy."
Ryan laughed a little at her nervousness about her talking. "I honestly don't mind... you had a life before you came back. I completely understand. It does make me a little jealous those other guys got you before I did, but I don't mind." he smiled. "I got you now." he chuckled. "I really don't mind you talking so much..." he chuckled.
[+purple "I had tickets in my hand to go backpacking across the country after college with a guy I was dating at the time. A few weeks before school ended, we broke up. It was pretty bad, but I knew I needed to come home. Shortly after I decided to come home, I decided I wanted to move back to our old little town, at least for a while. So, here I am. I had no idea I'd be at your house when I came home, my parents just told me I was going with them. But I am so glad I did."] Autumn explained. She loved that her anxiety was melting away as she continued to talk to Ryan, especially as his thumb rubbed the back of her hand.
Autumn sighed, she hated that she constantly had to bring up ex-boyfriends around Ryan. She honestly thought that if she was dating someone, it might fill the void that Ryan had created. He was her everything their friendship, they talked all the time and had a phone call every night. She needed to fill that hole that was created when they stopped talking, so she dated a lot. It wasn't something she was proud of, but she didn't feel that need anymore now that she was home.
[+purple "Sorry, I'll stop talking about guys. The only guy I care about is you. It's always been you."] Autumn smiled. [+purple "You talk now, I feel like I've taken over this conversation."] she bit her lip, locking her eyes with his, melting into his gaze.
Ryan smiled a little at her speaking about high school an how they pretended they didn't like each other. He tried to keep his feelings tucked deep down so he didn't let it come in the way of their friendship back in the day. He also didn't want to admit anything just in case she didn't feel the same, knowing if she didn't, she'd probably stop talking to him anyway. He felt a little annoyed at himself for not saying something sooner. He shook the thought from his head and sighed a little. "Yeah... everyone thought we would date back in high school." he laughed a little. "I was scared of telling you back in the day but I guess it's all kind of irrelevant now, hey?" he smiled and shook his head at the thought of it. The two kids who never admitted their feelings for each other yet still acted like they were dating at times, besides the physical things. They were always around each other and told each other everything. They were practically dating back then.
Ryan took a drink of his coke and looked across the table at her. "Yeah? Why not?" he asked curiously. He knew if his mother didn't practically beg him to come in this holiday, he wouldn't have bothered coming in either. He had no idea she would be back or even come to his mother's party. He was extremely happy he decided to come in. He'd probably spend another Christmas drunk in his dorm room wearing nothing but a Santa hat and some Christmas PJ pants his mother sent him while watching some crappy Christmas movie. At least he was doing something other than sitting around for the holidays and the fact he was on a date with a girl he's had a crush on for years.
[+purple "I think I can do it, but thanks."] Autumn smiled, directing her attention to the menu. She hadn't even looked at it yet, and she didn't want o make the waitress wait any longer on her order. She settled on a pasta dish, hoping something comforting would help her anxiety calm. The cigarette and Ryan's calming words were already helping, she needed all the help she could get. He was such a kind person, and she could never repay him for being the person she always needed. She was so happy he was back in her life, and she still couldn't believe he felt the same way about her as she did about him.
As the waitress came over, they both put in their orders with the woman who quickly took them back to the kitchen. She turned her direction back to Ryan, [+purple "I can't believe this is actually happening. Who would have thought the two kids in high school who never fit in with anyone except each other and swore for years they didn't like each other would be on a date years later."] she spoke. The fact that all of these things had happened solidified the reason she wanted to come back to their small town. Before she came home, she almost went on a long trip across the country, but she wanted to come home and be where she grew up. She now knows it was because she was meant to be with Ryan. After being around him for only a few days, they had done so many new things. [+purple "Did I tell you I almost didn't come home?"] she asked.
Ryan listened to her speak, biting at his lower lip. He was happy she was going to complete the date at the restaurant, but he was a little worried he was forcing her into this whole thing. She seemed sure, though. Maybe she was trying to overcome some of her anxiety or something, he wasn't sure but he would respect her decision to stay. He took a few more drags of his smoke and nodded his head at her. "If you're okay with it." he commented. "I really don't want to push you into it." he smiled. He finished his smoke before she assured him she would be OK and that she wanted to finish their date. He grabbed her hand when she walked back inside with him. He held onto her hand and walked inside with her, smiling a little bit. He was hoping she would feel a little bit more comfortable in a little bit, but he wouldn't hold it against her.
When she started speaking, he smiled and held onto her hand. "Of course. I'm not a heartless asshole." he chuckled and moved his thumb across the back of her hand, watching her from across the table. "I've been looking forward to this day since high school... I'm not going to run off because you have anxiety. Damn I've got my fair share of stuff going on. I wouldn't hold anything like that against you." he commented. She did have her fair share of shitty relationships.. but most guys didn't care about anything other than getting inside a girls pants. The guys she dated probably couldn't handle something like what she had and assumed it wasn't worth it. "If you feel uncomfortable in any way... let me know. I can plan this another time and I don't care where the hell we are. I'm going to be with you no matter what. I honestly don't mind at all." he smiled.
Autumn jumped a bit when Ryan appeared next to her, but she was happy he was here. She took another drag on her cigarette before answer his question. [+purple "Y-yeah, I'm okay. It was just a lot, but I'm okay. I just needed some air."] she smiled toward him, the smile was a bit forced to hide her anxiety. She didn't want him to think that she wasn't happy to be out with him, her nervousness had nothing to do with him and everything to do with her. [+purple "No, I am so happy to be out with you! I've waited for this for years, the restaurant is just busy. You know me when places get busy."] she spoke, biting the inside of her cheek. She listened as he gave her other options of how to complete their date. He was so good to her, but she wanted to have their proper date, and she was not going to let her anxiety take it away from her. As she finished her smoke, she stood up and took his hand. [+purple "No, please. Let's finish out our date. I'll be okay, as long as your here. I'm sorry."] she spoke. As much as getting into comfy clothes and being at his house sounded amazing, they had all night for that. Their first date could only happen once, and he went through a lot of trouble to plan this for them. [+purple "Let's go back inside."] she smiled, taking his hand in hers.
As they entered the restaurant, she could already hear the number of people that were already in there. She bit her lower lip and took a deep breath. As they sat back down, she took his hand again, giving it a brief squeeze. [+purple "How did I get so lucky with you? As you know, my choice in relationships has been pretty shit. I've had countless dates leave or end due to my attacks. But you. You came and looked for me, you even tried to think of others ways that would help me. That is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me, Ryan. So, thank you."] Autumn smiled, genuine this time.
Ryan smiled at her as she spoke. "I'm assuming that's what was going on." he chuckled. "It was hard when I left." he commented, a small sigh escaping his lips. He leaned himself on the table and watched her get up. He could tell she was becoming uncomfortable in their setting. He looked down at the table and bit his lower lip. Was a date in the public a little too forward? He knew she had serious anxiety and it must have been flaring up now. He felt a little bad that he made her come out now. He didn't mean to have her anxiety strike up right now and he had hoped that she didn't want to end it early. He stood up from the table, grabbing a smoke from his jacket pocket and a lighter before walking outside. He figured she was having a smoke as well to calm herself. The look on her face told him she was highly uncomfortable in the current situation, so he assumed she'd be outside calming herself down. He walked towards their waitress, letting her know the two of them would be right back and that they were just getting some air quickly. He left his jacket at the table so she knew he wasn't ditching out.
He walked out of the restaurant, looking to each side of the restaurant before finding her. He walked up to her slowly, lighting the smoke he placed between his lips. He stood beside the bench, giving her a little space as she might need. "Everything okay?" he asked curiously, keeping is tone quiet and calm. He would leave her alone if she asked but he didn't want to leave her if she wanted him there. "Was this a little too much?" he asked curiously, blowing smoke from his lips. "I can get our food to go if you want." he said softly. He wanted to give her an option of leaving or staying. "I wont be mad if you want to go." he smiled at her. "If you still want to hang out tonight. I can get the food to go, we can go back to my place and watch a movie in some comfy clothes." he commented. He wanted to be with her still, but he would understand if her anxiety was too high. "Or... if you're really not feeling it anymore, I'll pack up your food and take you home."
[+purple "Maybe we were trying to cope with being away from each other, I never had to make other friends because of you."] Autumn teased slightly. Being away from Ryan hit her differently than she expected, and she didn't see any other way to deal with it besides alcohol and bad decisions with people she assumed were her friends. [+purple "I'm glad you like me, you've been the only one I've ever cared about impressing anyone."] she smiled softly toward Ryan.
Autumn was nervous, that was obvious. She didn't know what to say, or what to talk about with Ryan. They usually had a buffer of alcohol or weed in their systems, but being on a date was different. She wanted to be comfortable around him, but it wasn't that easy. Her anxiety was high enough just being out and about but the weight of a date was getting to be too much. She felt her face heat up, the room now almost spinning. [+purple "Uh, I'll be right back."] she said, getting up quickly and headed to the door. She opened her bag, grabbing a cigarette, and lighting it once outside. She felt better as she took a drag and felt the cool air on her face. She didn't want to leave like that, but she didn't know what else to do. She sat on a bench outside the restaurant and sighed. She just needed this minute alone, but she craved his attention at the same time. She almost hoped he'd follow her, but she would go back in soon even if he didn't join her.
Ryan nodded. "Yeah, it was hard. It sucked." he sighed a little bit at the thought of it. The nights he'd miss class because he was up all night hopped up on alcohol and coke and the weekends he slept through. He didn't have a life other than doing that with the friends he had there. "It was a bad time." he commented. "That's actually one of the nights I fooled around with Carmen.." he chuckled. "So I legit wasn't in my right mind. I was drunk as hell and doped on coke." he groaned, putting a hand to his forehead. "I was really dumb then." he rolled his eyes at the memories of himself back then. "I barely ate.. It wasn't a good situation." he sighed. That's pretty much all his so called friends would do. He almost failed out of school because of it and it was a bad time in his life. "It was kind of in the beginning and I think I was just... trying to make friends at that point so my entire life didn't consist of doing homework and studying... but I picked the wrong ones." he laughed. He was glad it was over with. "I'm good now." he smiled, grabbing her hand and holding onto it. "Just alcohol and weed now."
He listened to her speak, leaning his head in his hand as he watched her. She was drunk all the time. He sighed at her own situation. "They made you drunk, huh..?" he frowned. They were in similar situations during school. They both went through a rough patch and made it on the other side. He held onto her hand and rubbed the back of her hand with her thumb. "It's good you're not like that anymore.. and I'm not like I was." he smiled. "And you're definitely not boring sober." he chuckled. "Even if we've just gotten back into hanging out. Drunk, sober, high... I like it all." he chuckled. "You're perfectly fine sober to me. Fuck everyone else." he smiled.
Autumn was surprised by what he said. [+purple "Cocaine huh? Wow..."] she said. She really didn't get into the hard stuff in college, a lot of drinking and weed for her. [+purple "Did you have a hard time making friends in college too?"] she asked. She knew that she had some bad influence friends when she started college, due to the fact that she really only had Ryan and Jake in high school. She never needed friends so it took her a while to find Finn and Emma, the only people who were good friends. [+purple "As long as your safe, babe."] she smiled, pushing some hair behind her ear.
Autumn thought to herself, what was something she could tell him. [+purple "I mean, I was drunk almost every night my first year. The friends I met told me I was only fun when drunk, so they made sure I got drunk all the time. I'd show up to classes still drunk or hungover. It was pretty rough. That was when I met Emma and she liked me for me."] she sighed. She remembered how much she would drink, taking a whole handle of vodka almost every night. She had pictures of her at that time, and she looked sick. Maybe that was one of the reasons she stopped talking to Ryan, she didn't want him to see her like that.
Ryan smiled as she mentioned it was perfect. That's what he wanted for her and for their date. He'd do anything to make her feel like this was the perfect date and that she was the only person in the world. He'd be a romantic guy now and then revert back to his fun loving self after the date, but it was a first date and he wanted to make it feel like one. Of course he couldn't help but crack some jokes and he wouldn't stop doing that but he toned himself down to give her a perfect night anyways. When they sat down, he opened the menu and looked over all of the selections. "Man there's a lot here." he laughed. "I didn't think the menu would be so big." he smiled. When she asked him the question, he looked up at her and tilted his head. He'd have to think about it. What through the years did he not tell her about. They didn't text while they were away so there was a lot that he did that she wouldn't have known about. He'd have to think about it through the duration of dinner. When she ordered the lemonade, he looked down at the drink menu, deciding on a coca cola for the time being. He knew she wanted to go through the date being sober and he'd follow her lead. They should be sober for this time.
"hm.." he mumbled, thinking back to her question. "Uh.. I don't know.." he sighed. "Well.. I almost failed out of school.." he tilted his head. "I got really into partying out there. Met some people I shouldn't have." he started. "Obviously I still party and stuff but I've toned it down. I used to do cocaine a lot." he said, looking across the table at her. "It's not that bad... but It got so bad because of the people I was hanging out with. I spent so much money on it." he rubbed his neck a little. "I haven't done it in a long time, but yeah.. that was a dark time for me for sure." he commented. "I feel like in small doses, it's not that bad... but I went too overboard with that..." he admitted. "I haven't done it in a long time though, so I've gotten myself off of that stuff."
Autumn rolled her eyes as he mentioned the door thing. [+purple "Okay okay! No doors."] she giggled lightly after speaking. She enjoyed this new side of him she didn't see very often. Most of the time, he teased her, but this was a romantic side she never saw. But, she did like it. He did keep his promise and did open all her doors for her, which she appreciated. She was never treated like this, and it was nice to feel special. [+purple "Ryan, this is perfect. Thank you. Our date just started and you have already made me feel like a princess."] she smiled. She opened the menu, everything seemed amazing. [+purple "So, what are we supposed to talk about?"] she spoke, a bit embarrassed. On most first dates, she would learn basics about someone. But with Ryan, she knew those things already. She knew his favorite color and favorite food. She knew his high school life and what he did in college. She knew secrets about him, but there must be something that she didn't know.
[+purple "Tell me something about yourself that I don't know."] Autumn smiled. She continued to look through the menu as he thought about his answer. Their waitress took their drink order, Autumn ordering a lemonade for now. She might order a cocktail later, but she did say she wanted to try and stay sober for their date. They could get blitzed later if they wanted, but she wanted to be sober for their date.
Ryan looked up as she opened the door and his eyes moved up and down her. "wow..." he smiled, looking her over a few more times. She looked like perfection in front of him. When she pulled him inside, he looked around at her parents and laughed a little bit as they snapped some pictures of them. He didn't mind, he looked over at Autumn again, wrapping an arm around her as she came up to kiss him. He kissed her back softly, smiling as he did so. He walked to her door and opened it, letting them both out, saying a quick goodbye to her parents. He grabbed her hand, walking her to the car and opened the door for her to get inside. "Look at you.." he smiled. "Stunning."
Ryan moved around the car to get into it, starting it up to drive to the restaurant, grabbing hold of her hand as he drove. Once they got there, he walked around the car, opening the door again for her. "Tonight you don't get doors." he chuckled. He could be a cheese ball if he wanted to and tonight he wanted her to feel every bit as special as he thought she was. He grabbed her hand and helped her out of the car, walking with her to the restaurant and once again, opened the door for her. He walked up to the desk, wrapping an arm around her as he moved in. "I have a reservation at 6 for Ryan Matthews." he spoke, letting the woman find their table and grab two menus for them. "I hope this is ok. I didn't want to go too fancy.. but I didn't want to take you somewhere where we would be over dressed, either." he smiled, following the hostess to the table with Autumn.
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