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Watching Raizel in tears by the door made him reach that breaking point. He lost it…and when he saw the fear in her eyes – it didn’t sit well with him. He backed up and told her to go, knowing that would be what’s best, to go himself some space and give her a chance to step away. He was surprised by hear helping him even when he refused to. He didn’t understand why she would still help him. It was clear to him that he could only cause damage being with anyone.
Caine stepped away, doing some work and spending time with a friend. It helped bring his mind away from the situation. He went for food and end up buying something along the way.
He drove himself to restaurant to meet Killian & Sage. They got a booth by the window. The two of them were already there. Caine was wearing his usual jeans, black t-shirt and this time he wore his dark green overcoat.
“Where’s Raizel?” Killian asked.
Caine drew out his phone [b “She’s supposed to be here soon.” ] He said. He texted messaged her [i ‘Where are you?’] The more time passed, the more concerned he became. He kept checking his phone and decided to check her location through GPS, and saw she was just coming in.
She came in, looking like her heart was racing. Sage hugged Rai back “Really? Usually you come in with Caine.” Sage slowly looked at Caine.
[b “You could have at least asked me to pick you up.” ] Caine said. He ordered a drink for himself, they started talking about missions and a few other things. Caine noticed how Rai downing those drinks fast.
“When did you say you’re leaving for Switzerland?” Killian asked since Caine mentioned it earlier.
[b “Next week.” ] Caine said [b “We won’t be gone for long.”]
“Bring me some souvenirs like last time,” Sage mentioned. She looked back at Rai and Caine. There was just something off about them today, “Are you two okay?”
[b “Yea, we’re fine.” ] Caine quickly said and ate, not wanting them to get involved or dig deep.
“Yea? Just…seems off.” Sage mumbled.
“Hey, how come we haven’t seen April in a while?” Killian mentioned.
Caine shrugged, wondering what’s with the many questions, [b “Don’t hang out with her that much lately. Why? You wanted to bone her?” ]
“No…come on man,” Killian snickered.
Sage shot him a look.
“I wouldn’t.” Killian said firmly, “I’m not the fuckboy – Caine is, incase you don’t remember.”
Caine frowned and just kept eating. Sage could sense there was something odd about Caine and Rai still. He looked at Killian “I forgot something your car. I need your help finding it.”
“What? Why? I can just give…got it.” Killian said once he realized the look she was giving. He got up with Sage to ‘check’ the car.
Caine sighed, realizing pretty obviously what they were trying to do. He looked over Rai [b “Are you okay?” ] He asked her. He brought a bag he left underneath the table, it was a small one, but it had really nice packaging. [b “I know material objects aren’t a great apology, but I still like it if you’d take it. It’s not much, but I hope it keeps you warmer then I can.” ] He said. It was a scarf that matched her eyes. He looked at her eyes [b “I’m sorry, I didn’t make you feel loved or…not sure what better word to use for it, and I lost my temper. I can’t show you affection they you want it, it’s not because I don’t feel anything…it’s history. Like I told you, I’m not right for you, you deserve much better. I don’t know if I can change into what you want.” ] He said since he thought about it.
She shook his head. [b "You always said that. Assumed that....I always wanted to go with you"] she spoke softly, hearing him scoff. It wasn't fair. He was yelling at her like she did something wrong, but she didn't mean to make him this upset. She just wanted his attention, for him to treat her as a normal person he was dating. She clearly forgot he hadn't dated anyone since his fiancee, so Rai felt defeated. What was she supposed to do to fix this so that she could help him take a step forward and try to be happy again.
She ended up getting startled on the ground, looking at him with some fear her in eyes. She was used to it. How scary he was. What he could do to her. He could wring out her life in his hands if he wanted to. She held her breath and would slowly get up. She went to bandage his arm even when he refused and she would hear him. Even she knew he kept trying to get that thought in her mind that he wasn't good. She's seen a lot of good sides to him though. He just was stuck in that mentality.
She kept quiet and would head outside after she patched him up. Rai went on a run with the dogs and when she came back, she had calmed down. When she called out in the house, she heard him and knew he couldn't give her that time of day. SHe wanted to cry again. He was making it so hard for her and she wanted nothing more than a bit more of his attention on her.
When he stepped out, she took in a deep breath and would let it out. She wanted what she wanted, but if he couldn't give that to her, maybe it was for the best they separate for now. It hurt, but if he wasn't even going to try to change, maybe her being accepting of all of this just wasn't even enough.
Rai grabbed her jacket and would head out the door. Whether he wanted to come or not, she was going to Switzerland. She made the decision to go, so she went to the mall. Rai spent a good amount of time, picking up winter jackets, sweaters, and boots. She even got a few beanies since it would be cold.
She carried her bags back home and would see the text. Rai didn't really want to go. She wanted to just disappear. There was no way she could even talk about it at all to anyone. Still, it was a chance to see Sage and Killian, so she wouldn't miss it.
After she dropped off her bags at home, she dressed in a white turntleneck and put a black coat on top. She wore some jeans and black boots before putting on a matching beanie as she headed out. Rai would wander around the streets for a while, trying to find the place and she was even being followed at one point. She quickly took a few turns at an alleyway and was able to make it to the restaurant a half hour late.
When she saw them, she walked over, her heart racing against her chest as she gave Sage a hug. [b "Sorry, I couldn't find the place"] she told them, taking a seat beside Caine. She tried to calm down, but she was still a little antsy from being followed. Rai ended up ordering a drink and then downing it pretty quickly. Her eyes went to the menu and she would look at the two, hearing them talk about a recent mission they had. Sage would ask her about joining her team for an upcoming competition in one of the games they played, but she was distracted. "Rai. You gonna join us?" she asked and tapped her hand.
[b "Huh, oh yeah. Of course. I still have to practice a bit, but I'd love to join your team"] she shoved those feelings away for now and just focused on having a good time with them, not wanting to Sage to find out something was wrong. She ended up getting some garlic parmesan wings and fries, taking a bite and trying to eat as much as she could. She didn't have much of an appetite, but the wings were good.
Caine scoffed and shook his head slowly, narrowing his eyes [b “You’ve said it before.”] He lost his temper, and got physical. It clicked a few seconds in that he lost it. Before Rai came wondering in his life, he didn’t have to comfort any of those problems anymore and it sucked. He didn’t want to comfort any of it, because it all fucking sucked.
He saw her frozen, rubbing those tears away. It ate him up that all he could do was make her miserable. Caine differed his eyes from her, and began cleaning up. He threw it out in the garbage. The dogs looked very startled. Fang was very alert, while there puppy was hiding in Fang. He opened the tap to clean out the cut. It wasn’t bad, nothing a week or so couldn’t fix.
Rai approached him, and he still didn’t look at her. [b “I’m fine. I can take care of it” ] He said to her, and felt her take hold of his arm. She went onto removing the shards anyway. He let her and remained quiet. He didn’t react to any of that pain. Why would she help him after losing his temper? He’d watch how she’d bandage it up. He took comfort in not having anyone to help him or being around him because it was less painful. There was no one he could hurt that way. He noticed her trying to look at his eyes. Of course she took it in that way.
[b “It’s not… Can’t see it already? I’m not any good.” ]
She left with the dogs. He double-checked if he left glass around. He got a call for a job. He dealt with that, and it was a good distraction. He was till on call when Rai came back. He heard her but he finished his call first. He didn’t feel like speaking to her yet. [b “I’m going to meet a client. Think on it…if dating is something you should really be doing. Because you know I won’t be able to change so easily.” ] He said and would grab his jacket to go. He’d meet up with someone at a restaurant. He’d end up taking a long time and then end up spending time with one of his other friends she hasn’t met yet. He sent her a text message that Sage & Killian wanted to have dinner - the four of them at a wing place if she wanted to go that. He knew it would be a bit tense but at least he didn't have to talk to her too much. He needed space to think and calm down too.
She had been feeling down ever since they came back from the stars. In all truth, it wasn't all terrible. It was just during the moments that mattered most to her, she felt a distance that she didn't want to feel. She wanted to be close to him and she thought she was getting there, but when they got home, she could feel how upsetting it was.
It continued through the morning and when he ended up lying to her, she felt like if he was going to do this, then why would he even offer up a relationship on the table. She held her breath and was going to leave, but when he called out to her, she listened. IT wasn't all lies, she knew he was trying in the only way he could, but it still hurt. Her blue eyes looked up at him, listening and couldn't help but raise her voice once more.
She couldn't believe he was phrasing it like it was her fault. If it weren't for him treating her like that, she would calm down if she could. She sat back against the door and felt exhausted. When he spoke, it struck a nerve in her. She felt how much those words hurt. [b "I-....never said you ruined my life. I never said anything like that"] she heard the lamp shatter and she held her breath. She gasped and would see the shards on his hand. IT startled her and she could see how angry he was.
Was he going to give up on her again? Was he going to leave her? She froze and then she rub her tears away, realizing that this relationship wasn't working. Rai slowly got up. She went into her room and she grabbed the first aid kit and some tools. As she approached him, she looked up at his eyes and would take a deep breath [b "Let me fix your hand before I go"] she took hold of his arm and would slowly remove the shards of glass. She'd look over the wounds and clean them up with disinfectant. THey weren't deep enough to need stitches, so she wrapped his hand in bandages and then she would glance up at him [b "If you don't want to be with me, that's fine. I'll accept it. I just....wanted to make us work"] she set the first aid kit away and she went to grab the dog's leashes.
She went out with them for a run, but couldn't help but feel the pain in her chest. To have someone she liked so much tell her that he didn't even want to be around her. It hurt so much. She tried to clear her head, but it was hard. She walked to the park and let the dogs play for a while, tossing a ball around. When she calmed down, she headed back home. Rai would set some food out for Onyx and Fang and then she noticed the lamp was all cleaned up. She went into the kitchen and grabbed herself some water before taking a seat at the counter. She brought out her laptop, researching the temperatures in Switzerland for the next week and would make a list of the clothing she needed. SHe wanted to ask Caine if he still wanted to go.....she did. She was so excited to travel, but now she wasn't even sure if they were still going. She made a list anyway and planned to go shopping.
When she looked around the house, she'd call out [b "Caine? I'm going to go shopping....did you want to come.....or...did you still want to go on this trip?"]
. He came down the stairs and gave it a try. IT’s been so long since he had been in a relationship and he wasn’t recovered from it either. He asked what she wanted and all she got was a glare and another question. He wished he knew. [b “I can’t read your mind Rai. You know I’m doing what I can already.” ] He shrugged, opening himself up, wondering what more she wanted. He suggested frozen yogurt and recalled too late that it may make her more angry.
She looked mad. He sighed, stroking through his hair wondering what the hell to od. [b “No but…it’ll calm you down. Will you just calm down?” ] He said and saw her filled up with tears. He grew quiet and watched her. He kissed his teeth and took a deep breath. It was upsetting him and he felt a surge or rage all the sudden seeing her always look miserable being around him, in tears. It struck something.
[b “Honesty? I gave you fucking honesty and then you act surprised that I can’t be what you want me to be. Frankly who the fuck would want to be around someone that looks like they’re miserable being around them? Or tells you that they ruined their life?” ] He end up shoving a glass lamp that was next to him, letting it shatter. He felt some of those shards go in his hand. He ignored it.
He quieted again and realized that he lost control of his anger. He stood still and looked down at the ground. [b “Fuck…” ] He stroked through his hair with his slightly bloody hand now. He knew he was the problem, which was why he didn’t want to be with her. There was too many rooted problems and he couldn’t do any good. [b “You should…go walk the dogs. I’ll clean up. I lost my temper. I’m sorry.” ] He said, bending down and collecting the pieces to toss them out. That anger was still burning but more so for himself. Everything people or his mom told him he was, he knew it was true. He suspected Rai to come back and finally realize what a piece of shit it was to be with him.
When he started mentioning that he would be find in the afternoon, she could already tell that he was faking it. He sure sucked at trying to lie and hide it from her. IT made her sad because it was clear he was trying to spend his 'twenty four' hours trying to avoid her like [i she] was the issue. Then what he said tipped her over the edge. She got so upset and raised her voice at him.
Then he mentioned making her miserable and she just slammed the door. She knew that. He didn't have to say it. He made it clear the kind of relationship they were going to have, but she thought he'd also give it a shot. Try to put some effort in and make it work with her. Guess not.
Rai headed downstairs and was about to leave with the dogs. She was putting on her shoes when she heard him. As she fixed up the leash on the dogs, she glared back at him for a second. [b "What do you think I want?"] she sneered and would feel how heavy her chest was. It wasn't fair and it wasn't right for her to feel this way either. The more he spoke, the more upset she got, realizing how he really wasn't getting it.
She put her foot down and would face him, hearing his bribes and hearing he was trying. She'd meet his eyes and hear him continue. [b "So you want me to drown myself in frozen yogurt until I'm not sad? That's what you want to do?"] she asked, looking to see how lost he looked. It must have been really hard for him. IT was hard for her too. She stood there looking so defeated, tears now rolling down her cheeks. [b "Can you just be honest with me and not try to avoid me today?"] she asked, nearly begging. She'd wipe her eyes and would take in a deep breath. Rai set the leashes down and would just sit on the ground, her back sliding down against the front door. Arguing with him was getting her so worked up and tired that she didn't feel like she could fight with him anymore.
It slipped out of his mind that they were supposed to go shopping today. He tried to assure her that he should be fine by the afternoon. [b “Really, we can go in the afternoon.” ] He said again. He felt bad and he decided to give up on avoiding her. He was rather blunt, so he said it, that it bothered him to see her upset like that. He knew he wasn’t good to be with but he didn’t like being reminded.
He was surprised when she got more upset. HE frowned, knowing it was his fault for not being able to treat her in the way she wanted to. He ruffled his hair, [b “I told you I’d make you miserable…” ] He mumbled. He dared to lift his eyes again hearing her talk about fixing the issue. He didn’t know what to fix. He was taken back how she raised her voice at him. He couldn’t get another word out because she slammed the door and left.
[b “Fuck.” ] He said. Guess they wouldn’t last long afterall. He predicted she’d come back and declare that they wouldn’t work. Would be no surprise in that. He sighed, really puzzled at what he could even do to fix the issue considering fixing the issue would be fixing his fucked up mind and PTSD. Yea that – wasn’t so easily fixable. But he knew a ice cream and frozen yogurt made her happy. He got up and head downstairs and saw Rai at the door with the dogs. [b “Rai come on,” ] He called to her [b “Look, I’ll do whatever you want me to do. What do you want? You look so fucking miserable all the time around me, what am I supposed to do? You tell me to be close and don’t tell me how.” ] He told her, feeling frustrated with that. [b “I’ll order you a bunch of frozen yogurt and buy you whatever the fuck you want – so stop being so mad. Trust me, I’m fucking trying.” ] He said. He got the feeling of déjà vu. He remembered how that worked on Brook-it didn’t.
[b “I mean…not that…” ] He continued [b “Frozen yogurt and stuff won't fix everything but hey, It’ll make you feel way better and not make you look so sad for now. What do you want me to do?” ] He asked, just trying to get her to calm down but he wasn’t sure how successful he was at it.
She laid in bed beside him and would feel pretty upset because he pushed her away. She understood that he didn't like it when she got really close. Rai would just back up and soon fall asleep, feeling really upset about this, but she couldn't be mad. He warned her about all of this before hand.
Rai didn't know if he'd understand what she was saying, but when he spoke, it didn't sound like it. How were they supposed to connect when he didn't understand?
In the morning, Rai got up and was spacing out making breakfast. She went upstairs and when she saw Caine, she felt bad. She wondered if he was sick from being outside int he cold with her....or if it was because of what she said last night. SHe frowned and would bring him food and check on his temperature. He wasn't warm at all and he felt fine. Was he lying? Why?
Rai looked back at his eyes and when he said he would probably feel better in the afternoon, she just nodded, watching him sit up to eat. She was glad he enjoyed the food, but he was clearly trying to play this off as him trying to avoid the issue. [i Twenty four hour thing huh] she thought to herself, but played along with it.
[b "Yeah I can do the shopping and walk the dogs. I just want you to be better for the trip"] she told him, feeling him take her hand. When she looked at the TV, she heard him mention that she looked miserable. It made her even more upset. [b "Miserable around you? Who do you think is making me look this way?"] she felt so mad, her eyes warmed up and she would look at him patting the empty space beside him. [b "Are you even going to try and fix the issue? Or are you going to continue faking this sickness thing and avoid me. There's a way to not see me upset. It's not lying and trying to avoid me all day and then telling me that the look on my face makes you depressed!"] she raised her voice and would just slam his door closed.
Rai headed down the stairs and quickly rubbed her eyes, going into her room and then changing into some leggings and a hoodie. She put her hair up into a bun and would head back into the living room to look at the two dogs. [b "Do you guys want to go for a run?"] she asked, setting them up with a leash and then heading out the door.
It didn’t do so well in his ego to hear that she didn’t like how he was in the bedroom. It was how he’s always done it. Sure sometimes he would be more loving but that was…years ago, and even than it wasn’t a consistent thing. [b “Right…” ] He said, not even sure what to do about that. It was the way he did it.
The were in bed. He heard her but wasn’t sure he could change in that sense and even if he could it would be a long while. [b “Sure...connect.” ] He wasn’t entirely certain how to reply to it. Hold her by her ass? That sounded good to him but…he felt still quite bad.
He slept. In the morning he felt down with how it went and having her look so upset. He kept picturing it and he wanted to avoid the situation entirely. He heard noise coming in from outside of his room. He could guess it was Rai. He faked it. Caine nodded [b “No, no, that’s okay.” ] He assured. He forgot that they were supposed to go shopping. Right… Maybe he shouldn’t have faked being sick.
Rai came back up with food for him. He felt a bit guilty that he faked it. [b “Thank you.” ] He said and watched her reach out to feel his forehead. Ah shit. He heard her sigh and could figure that she knew he was lying.
[b “Rai… Actually, why don’t we wait till we see if I’m feeling better by the afternoon to go shopping?” ] He said. She looked upset again and he didn’t like it. It seemed like he could only make her feel one mood = upset. He’d sit up and would at least feed himself, [b “This is really good. I think this will make me feel much better.” ] He said, going along with the lie since it was too late now. He watched her and he didn’t think he needed to ask her to know she wasn’t happy.
He reached out and took her hand, feeling like he may regret this since he felt guilty, [b “Stay and watch Tv with me, ] He suggested. [b “Just…stop looking so miserable around me. It’s depressing, I don't want to see you upset” ] He said and patted next to him so that she’d sit. So much for avoiding the situation. He felt bad for fucking it up so much.
She was doing her best to be honest with him and she knew that going into a relationship with him was going to be hard to begin with. She held her breath and would just let him know how she felt at that moment since he asked. She knew on the surface he thought of her as someone special, but in the bedroom, sometimes she felt like another girl. [b "I know. I feel it in your gestures and the way you protect me. It's mostly in the bedroom, but I get it. I never expected it to be easy....and I know your history"] she understood that.
She was laying snuggled up to him but when she saw him frown, she knew he was having a rough time understanding what she meant and trying to give that to her. [b "I don't need any immediate change Caine. I just want to connect more with you"] she told him, taking in his warmth and when he touched her, she didn't mind. [b "I don't mind that at all. You can touch, and hold me"] she didn't want him to think he couldn't hold her.
But when he told her to pull away, she bit down on her lip and she would back up. Rai rolled the other way and would close her eyes. She soon fell asleep from the exhaustion.
In the morning, she saw Caine still asleep beside her so she went to make breakfast. She cooked some fried rice, her mind still on a few things, but she managed to make it. Once she finished, she'd sit at the table and realized Caine wasn't up yet. SHe went to his room and when noticed that he was still in bed, she walked over and would frowned. [b "Are you sure? You're sick....at least let me take care of you"] she asked, shaking her head [b "We were supposed to go shopping today.....for the trip"] she held her breath and would go downstairs.
Rai would grab a plate of fried rice and bring up some orange juice as she headed back to his room. [b "I'm going to leave these here then"] she felt his forehead and would sigh a bit as she pulled his sheets up. [b "Is there anything you need me to buy? I'm going to get some warm clothes....and whatever else I need I guess. Then I'll take the dogs out for a walk"] she mentioned, feeling like she did this to him.
[b "Just rest and get better. We need to be healthy for this trip"] she frowned.
Caine took a spoon and heard her on what she felt. It always had been hard expressing those emotions, even before the whole thing went. He sighed hearing her talk about being really important. [b “Rai…uh look…I do think of you as the girl I’m interested in. If you ask Sage or Killian they can tell you that you’re important and special to me. I can’t be someone different then I am. I show my affection in a different way, and I haven’t been…you know my history by now.” ] He explained. He already could tell that she was starting to see the faults he was telling her about. At least, she’d know.
They were in his bed. She leaned into him more, snuggling in tight. He frowned hearing her talk about it, knowing he couldn’t give that to her. It was hard to break out of his history and the person he was trained to be. [b “I’m not…sure… I don’t know if I can make you feel that way, but I do feel an emotional connection to you.” ] He said, feeling her nuzzle in. He felt guilty for not being able to do that for her. He tried to be close, to stroke her back. It helped to touch her ass but he worried if she felt used. He wasn’t sure even if she said he could that she would still be bothered.
[b “Touching your ass probably wouldn’t help my case though would it?” He said. He told her and knew it would hurt her, but he felt that she’d get upset more if she noticed she was causing him pain and he didn’t say anything. [b “It’s not your fault.” ] He said, and saw her expression, the sadness. He knew he definitely wasn’t good for her because he couldn’t be this close yet.
He saw her turn around and sleep. Caine took a deep breath. This sucked. What good was this idea? What if she wouldn’t leave even if he kept hurting her without intending to? It frustrated him, and his mind kept lurking into those dark corners. “Fuck me.” He mumbled, and would get up to grab a pill downstairs. He made it upstairs back and did his best to drown it out. He fell asleep. He continued to sleep past Rai getting up.
When he woke up, he could smell some food and hear some nice. He looked at the side and assumed Rai was cooking. He didn’t want to get up. He refused to get up. The guilt still weighed on him and he wasn’t sure what the hell to do about it. Last thing he wanted was to her look so sad again. He debated on the three options he gave himself.
He decided after he washed up, he’d stay in bed and stare at the TV. Rai would be forced to come upstairs. When she did he’d just say, “Hey morning, I’m not feeling great, so I’m going to stay in bed. You can go on with your day, don’t worry about me.” He’d fake a cough and then said "Probably those twenty-four hour things, little warm but I'll be good. Maybe go out with Sage today so you don't get locked up here."
She saw him frowning after she rolled off to his side. She felt that maybe she was being too much and she didn't want to drown him in affection if that wasn't what he wanted. The last thing Rai wanted to do was scare him away. She thought that she initiated that pain, so she figured it was because of her. WHen he said it wasn't, it did lighten her up a little.
[b "I can. Of course I want to"] she admitted, hoping to cheer him up in any way she could. IT did surprise her that he touched her lip. She thought her closeness was the reason that would drive him away, but it seemed like he really did like being close to her. She felt bad, but when he took her hand, she would just nod her head. She felt insecure because he has left her a few times and she just didn't want to see him go again.
Rai felt his lips and she'd kiss him back slowly. [b "Mmm, okay"] she felt his hands explore beneath her shift and she would see him look much better, winking at her. She'd turn a bit red when he spoke that way so casually. [b "Yeah. You can"] she felt his lips moving up her neck, making her shift a bit beneath him. SHe heard his voice and it made her shiver, getting excited. [b "Mmm, I give in"] she nodded and would run her fingers around him, trailing down his back and sides, slowly letting her fingers stroke his skin beneath his shirt, climbing up to his chest.
Rai would look up at him and press her lips against his once more, wrapping her arms around him, pulling him in closer.
Caine frowned, resting on his side, and brushed her hair back. [b “It’s not you that makes me feel that way. Do you want to help me ease it?” ] Caine asked her, touching her lip. Talking about his past always did bring sadness and pain but he didn’t want to let it cloud his head right now.
He wondered where she got that idea. [b “Why? I am…I’m into you.” ] Caine said, seeing her bite down her lip. Caine rested closer to her, seeing her lean into him more too. Caine held his eyes on her, and listened to her. He sighed and took hold of her hand.
[b “Listen, if you are smothering me I will tell you. I’m rather blunt.” ] He told her and tilted her chin and kissed her deeply, [b “I was turned on with you on top touching me.” ] He smirked and slid his hand underneath her shirt, feeling over her waist and side. [b “Mmm, how about I eat you up a bit?” ] He winked at her, and caress her inner thigh, [b “Can we do that?” ] He kissed her neck, lips raising to her ear [b “Are you willing to give me what I want?” ]
They were talking about some heavy thoughts and she felt glad that Caine was opening up to her. She felt him caress her cheek and where his hands went, making her feel warm inside. SHe'd kiss his fingers and would moan softly to his touch. She could see that he looked visibly in pain sometimes when he spoke and when she kissed and hugged him, it didn't look that pleasant. SHe thought she was only making things worse than better when she was trying to comfort him.
Rai would ask him if she was being too much. She thought she was, so she would roll to his side, feeling it was better for her to distance herself. She wanted to help him, but it looked like she was adding more pain and bringing back more sad memories the more she spoke. Then came the fact that he still loved Brook. IT didn't make her feel so comfortable.
[b "I am? You don't look fine though. YOu look sad and in pain. I don't want to make you feel that way"] she spoke softly and would just look up at the sky. [b "No, it's not that. It just doesn't....seem you like you're very into me right now. I don't blame you, we talked about some heavy things..."] she spoke and would bite down on her bottom lip. She felt his hand rub her arm and she'd lean in since it was a bit chilly. [b "If you....want me, then we can. I want you, but sometimes it's hard for me to gauge....If I'm smothering you. I don't want to mess up or make a mistake"] she admitted, feeling like maybe she should let him make the first moves so she doesn't go overboard.
Caine wanted those thoughts to drift away from him, teasing her on what would make him happy. He kissed her and was letting dark thoughts go. Caine chuckled a bit and nodded. He caressed her cheek until she took his hand kissed his fingers. It was cute. He moaned at her touch, feeling up her ass more, and then sliding his hand to feel her inner thigh. He looked up at her and wondered why she was asking if he was sure. [b “Yea, I’m sure. I’d push you away if I didn’t want to.” ] He reminded, because she’s been pretty up front with her with everything.
Caine saw her smiling a bit and he saw her look sad. He felt her kiss his forehead and wondered what happened between then and now. Maybe because…he said he still loved Brook. She rolled off, [b “Rai…I wouldn’t push myself. You’re fine.” ] He assured and saw her looking to the stars and it sounded like she was giving up on it.
Caine sighed [b “What’s wrong? What I said, it upset you?” ] He asked her, not even sure if she would be honest with him about it. He reached out and rubbed her arm, [b “I wanted to…get busy here –with you but, if you’re not feeling well. We can go.” ] He said, not wanting to upset her by trying to get into her pants anyway – since he was sure that might make things worse.
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