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Milli watched him and raised an eyebrow. It felt strange to know that she was enough, like it was the biggest news she had received all her life. She watched as he pulled away and smiled a little at him. Milli did however tidy up a little and move her cluttered stacks of books out the way, finding them each a home in the shelf. She cast an apologetic smile to Nathan. It at least cleared some space and made the apartment appear slightly bigger.
“Yeah- I was going to start work on the cottage, with the money I have saved up. I figure at least by the time I work round everything I should be able to pay the full amount.” She commented. She didn’t mention Egypt, it would be unfair to ask him right now. His kisses were promises dotted upon her.
Milli looked over when Michael came in and looked to Nathan when she was mentioned as “the girl on the train”. She smiled a bit at that and eyed the television in the corner of the lounge as the news came on and she sighed a little as they reported on Nathan’s blowout. She fumbled with the remote and turned it off.
“It’ll blow over.” She said to Nathan quietly as she started the kettle and looked to Michael.
“Nice to meet you.” She murmured to him politely. It was nice to think Nathan had spoke about her before, all that time around.
“Would you like to stay for lunch?” She asked him and she was curious because Nathan had never really mentioned his roommate all that often. Then again, Nathan wasn’t exactly an extrovert in these things. She gave a small yawn and stretched, adding a boom to the shelf as she plucked one up from the counter. She really had to start clearing away the books. And she would need to get back to work soon too. She was worried about Nathan’s exhibition. Julia life’s drama and given she has fallen in love with alcohol, it was bound to be a fireworks show. She hoped not, for Nathan’s sake.
Nathan was surprised and happy to find Milli welcoming the kiss, her lean in welcoming and warming him. Her hands were wrapped around his waist and they were drawn together. He didn’t want them to part, enjoying how free she was with him now – still a bit wary of her feelings, but opening up more to be with him and allow herself to feel freely with him. Nathan hadn’t been this happy in a while and it further made him question if he had ever been happy with Julia. He knew he cared for her as he would anyone in his life, but was it more convenience? He tried not to focus on that. Nathan knew that was a talk for later and that was something he and Julia would have to discuss. Whether that would go well, he wouldn’t know, but he hoped that he and Julia for once could have an honest conversation.
His hands looped around her waist and he refused to let them go. He had been away from Milli and had no intentions of breaking that connection ever again. “That sounds like a good idea.” He murmured as he nuzzled her neck, catching her chaste kiss on his cheek which made his cheeks turn red from joy. “And what a woman you are,” he said. He couldn’t help but roll his eyes at her. “Stop selling yourself short. This, anything with you can be enough. But it’s temporary you know, you’ve got that cottage.” He said as he kissed her again with a smile. He pulled away with disappoint, only due to texting Michael who was grumpy at being awakened this early, but had heard about Michael’s blowout and wanted to see him to get some tea.
Nathan had been unaware of the recent flux of social media news broadcasting his rampage on Julia. Of course as a high profile model, it wasn’t surprising that this would come to the news eventually and Michael loved drama. It wasn’t long before he eventually arrived with his materials. He was surprised to find out that Nathan was with Milli and he wasn’t arriving at Julia’s apartment, but was even more excited.
“So you’re the girl on the train?” He asked with a raised brow. Moving pass Nathan to head toward Milli. He looked at her apologetically, forgetting to mention how Michael was very extroverted. Michael was a muscular and brown skinned male, dreads pulled back into a ponytail and always casually dressed in a sweat suit on his days off. Nathan had started placing his things where he could in the living room.
His closeness bridged the gap both physically and mentally, a better bond growing in the chaos. Milli watched him as he spoke and eyed her apartment. She figured it wasn’t nearly as grand as Julia’s place and he wouldn’t have a private studio for a while. She guessed he was okay with it though. He didn’t want to fight for love and she could understand that, she would never ask him to choose between what he loved. Even asking that of him churned her stomach because where was the love then? No one should be made to choose and she didn’t want him to ever feel like he had to. She wouldn’t do that to him. He could have freedom if he wanted it.
His hand on her cheek brought her back to reality as she heard his words and then saw his smile. How long had it been since he had genuinely smiled like that? His lips were on hers and she couldn’t deny him. She leaned up into the kiss and rested her hands on his shoulders, enjoying the peace. She parted from him and eyed him over, looking a little dazed from the kiss and still unable to grasp the reality. She smiled a little at his suggestion.
“How about, your roommate drops some stuff off, and if you want to paint then you can? Don’t feel you have to push it.” She pointed out to him with a wry and knowing smile. Milli was no artist but she did no he couldn’t force himself.
Milli wound her arms around him and watched him.
“What a man you are, Nathan.” She murmured softly and pressed a kiss to his cheek,
“I’m sorry it’s not a lavish place. But I can clear some space so if inspiration kicks in, you’ll have enough room and enough peace and quiet to paint.” She said to him with a fond smile. It wasn’t fondness anymore though, was it? It was love and regardless of her fear, Milli was hopelessly in love with the man before her.
“You can stay, as long as you want to.” She assured him. She was worried his temper would kick in another time and it would be her to bare the brunt of it but she figured everyone had those moments. His exhibition could prove tricky with Julia being on the warpath but Milli figured everything would be sorted by then, one way or another.
Nathan gave her a small smile. Julia was vicious and had he not [I calmed her down] he was sure she could have done worse. As Milli tended to his wound, he couldn’t help but place his hand to her cheek, still red from Julia’s slap. He sighed out, Milli wasn’t that fragile, he had no place to consider anyone that, but to him she was like a rare piece that he feared would be the saddest day should she ever fall and shatter. Today could have been that day and he hated thinking that.
The small moment of being close passed, bloodied towel discarded and Milli trying to distract herself by making breakfast, much like how she was detracting from the situation by mentioning his art. The toast went down dry, making it hard to swallow and it was a physical interpretation of how Nathan dealt with what he had done to his pieces the previous night. He was glad for the coffee, with his eyes averted from Milli it made it easy for him to compose himself. She wasn’t pushing him out, but he could tell as usual Milli wasn’t putting herself first. This was a tough battle against Julia and they both knew that someone would win and someone would lose . He looked up to find her looking completely exhausted and stressed from all that had happened. The past few hours had taken both a physical and mental toll on both of them.
Nathan didn’t know what to do, to which everyone was happy in the end. He did care for Julia, but he knew that she wouldn’t take it so well when he told her that he didn’t have any intentions of going to Paris with her. She had helped him in his career and there was the possibility that she could do some damage. Still, he did care for the woman and their good times were their best. Was it outside circumstances preventing their relationship from actually blossoming into something great? “Of course I want to stay,” he finally said. He walked over to her, closing the gap to prevent any further distance. It was a sign of comfort as art had been Nathan’s form of escape. Though, there was no need or desire to escape from Milli. His passion, his skill – it would always be in his life, but would Milli if he walked out that door?
“I admit I care for Julia, I want her to get help and I wish I could love her the way she [I loves] me, but I don’t believe I fighting for love. I feel as though it should just come easy, like breathing. “ His hand reached out to cup Milli’s face. “You inspired me to create, the first day I saw you.” He smiled and kissed her gently. In a sense though he knew he was avoiding the studio, Julia would have most likely dealt with him there and he didn’t want to risk the very few pieces he had left. “I can have my roommate drop off some supplies, maybe . . . actually paint that portrait of you? Or just – a day to just be with you.” He had no care as long as he was with Milli, but he couldn’t hide from Julia forever he knew.
Milli turned when Julia exited and she looked away, not wanting to face the glare as she ran a hand through her hair. For a split second she though Nathan might exit the apartment with her but he didn’t. Milli watched him and eyed the scratch on his cheek just below his eye. She dampened a towel and eyed him when he apologised, unsure of what to do or say.
“It’s not your fault.” She finally managed and gently pressed the damp towel to the cut to stop the thin beads of blood. She knew this wasn’t the last of Julia, Julia did just let things go so easily and she had to wonder then, had Nathan given her a promise too? She eyed the scratch and gave him a small smile,
“You’ll live.” She murmured as she put the towel in the laundry and rubbed her eyes again. Still, Julia’s behaviour was not okay and she was angry the woman had marked Nathan.
“I’ll uh, make some breakfast.” She said and everything felt horribly awkward again after Julia. Guilt engulfed her at her actions and she put the kettle on and some toast. She was silent for a while as she made up a small breakfast. She wasn’t exactly hungry, but she knew she had to eat. She placed the coffee down for Nathan and some toast. She had blackberry tea and half a piece of toast as she sank into a chair.
“You’ll need to work today, at the studio right?” She said, pushing any form of conversation. His paintings... She rubbed her temples at the memory of how he had shredded them.
Milli was doing her best to cope with the situation but she also didn’t want him to feel obliged to stay with her like this. She glanced over to him and bit her lip as she finished her tea.
“Nathan you don’t have to stay, if it’s Julia then I’ll be alright. I want you to stay but only if you want to, completely.” She assured him. She wouldn’t be alright but she would tell him she would be to soothe any guilt.
“I don’t want you to have choose, Nathan. You’ve seen her like that before, haven’t you?” It was a terrible predicament to be in and she really didn’t want him to have to choose between two woman. Making anyone choose in such a situation was awful and Milli figured he shouldn’t have to but wanted to spare him that pain at least,
She was tired, that much evident in her face. Luckily she didn’t have anything planned for today so she wouldn’t be too taxed with physio sessions or visitors.
“Milli and I haven’t done anything Julia.” He said, though it was a half truth. He’d kissed her and wasn’t emotionally involving yourself with someone an even worse form of cheating? Julia wasn’t having it and talking over him, hands hitting where they could, and she’d got him pretty good in near the eye. He could feel the sting of the scratch, but like many wounds eventually the pain would be over, and it would heal. His main concern at this moment was getting Julia out of Milli’s apartment. He’d hate to leave her after what was happening, knowing she was more than likely off guard and shocked by her [I friend]. Honestly, he was afraid of going home with Julia.
“You were in her bed Nathan! Her bed!” He saw the shock and the look of pain in her eyes and he felt ashamed, though he knew when he kissed Milli and when he whispered those three words – there was no going back. He thought Julia didn’t want him and from what she said about him only furthered those thoughts. This was how it always was; the pulling back and forth, the confusion of whether her feelings or genuine or was this just a manipulative ploy.
“Look, we can talk about this, but you need to be sober up. I’m not going back to your place like this.”
She reached out for him, cradling his face in her hands before placing a kiss on his lips. He didn’t push her away, though made no actual attempt to lean into it. This moment would pass, but could he leave Milli after what he had promised her? Julia pulled away then, walking out of the bedroom to only glare at Milli as she left. Nathan sighed out as he watched her slam the door behind her. He found Milli in the kitchen, to which he walked over, grabbing a towel to take care of the wound on his cheek. “Milli,” he said softly. “I’m sorry – she – this is all my fault.”
Milli was in total shock at seeing Julia like this, she had known Julia could party but drunk at this time in the morning? What the Hell had happened to her? She watched Nathan and Shuddered a little at the words but didn’t interject. Julia always had a way of getting to Milli but she wouldn’t fight back, she guessed she was technically in the wrong after all. She looked to Nathan and Julia and it was reality crashing in on her like tsunami.
“Sure- I’ll be in the kitchen.” She murmured quietly and eyed Julia but couldn’t come up with the words. She looked them over, she had to admit
“Sorry.” She apologised and then shut the door, heading into the kitchen and biting down on her lip, leaning against the counter. This was bound to happen. She knew that. She just didn’t expect Julia to be rip roaring drunk. Milli washed her face in the sink with some cold water, soothing the site of Julia’s fury. Her hands were shaking and she wasn’t sure if it was from the shock of the events or if it was from nerves that Nathan might leave with Julia.
Her heart was hammering as she gave Julia and Nathan some time, figuring they had some stuff to figure out. If Nathan left with her then she had prepared herself, right? She figured she could start work on the cottage, maybe take that trip to Egypt after all. She was trying to reason with her own emotions, her own niggling sense of panic in case the worst happened.
Nathan could feel the tension melting away and his body finally relaxing completely. Falling asleep had been easy then and he held her tighter, her kiss still lingering behind his ear. He had been accustomed to sleeping by himself and while him and Julia would cuddle, there were times she would push him away or claim he was hogging the space. Still he lived for those moments she lingered on him, usually after they made love before showering and insisting, he do the same. There were plenty nights he stared up at the ceiling, her back to him and mornings where she didn’t seem to stir when he left the bed. He’d think one night away after all that had happened, she’d be able to deal with.
He was wrong and it only took a moment of the grogginess to wear off before he came to from the brash yelling disrupting the peaceful slumber. His head was ringing, from the loud noise and the thousands of thoughts that he’d dealt with the night before. Julia had burst through the entry then, Milli right behind her barely, hand against her cheek. Nathan was still trying to catch up to what was going on. Julia had come at him then, hand pointed.
“You’re out here playing crazy so you have an excuse to lay up with this?” She pointed at Milli then. Nathan slowly got out of bed. Julia was drunk and maybe this side was a shock to Milli, but it wasn’t uncommon for Nathan to deal with these binges.
“Let’s just calm –“
“Don’t fucking tell me to calm down!” He didn’t like what she had to say and Nathan didn’t want things to escalate. It would certainly be a bad time to stick up for Milli, but he couldn’t bear Julia tearing down someone he loved. He looked toward her to assure not to intervene. He didn’t want both women involved in a fight especially since Milli technically was still recovering.
“Why don’t we just – can you give us a minute?” He asked Milli, though was distracted some. “Did you hit her?” He asked in shock.
“[I Did you hit her],” she mimicked. “Honestly Nathan – you rather be laid up with this plain whore who’d sleep with anyone I gave away?” She’d hit his chest then. “You’re pathetic! Honestly, I have to do everything – wish I let those cops drag your ass away! Had this slag not jumped in!” She turned her attention to Milli then and Nathan grabbed her around the waist in hopes to help.
The silence was stifling between them but not in a negative fashion. There was a contentment between them, something comfortable where they didn’t need to speak to fill it up. She felt his lips on hers as he answered her question and it was like someone had turned on a tap of hot water, trickling into her like relief as she wrapped her arms around him, clinging to him despite her sleepy state. He was serious.
“And I’ll love you the same.” She murmured as she kissed right below his ear, burying her face in his neck and closing her eyes.
Sleep must have occurred somewhere, too tired to fulfil desires, drained. But there was a thudding that roused Milli. She stirred and narrowed her eyes against the damning light from the window. She unravelled herself from the blankets, realising the thudding was the door being hammered on relentlessly. She eyed the clock and groaned in frustration. It was 10AM, and Milli was pretty sure she could have slept until 1pm easily. She shuffled to the front door and opened it, a little shocked as Julia entered like a hurricane.
“Where is he?! Where the fuck is he?!” Julia was seething and Milli stared at her in complete silence.
“He’s- Well, he’s in bed.” She remarked and she did not expect the sharp slap that almost took her off her feet had she not caught her balance.
“You little slut!” Julia was practically screaming now.
“Nothing happened. You kicked him out.” Milli pointed out and rubbed her sore cheek. Julia was upset, she understood.
“No! We are going to Paris and we are going to leave this place behind and have a fresh start!” Julia sounded desperate, almost and Milli felt a pang of pity for her despite the burning sensation on her cheek from the slap.
Julia smelled like booze, which would explain a lot and she looked completely wild. Milli sighed a little and moved her hair out her face,
“Julia I don’t think you should be seeing anyone like this, maybe you need to calm down-“
“Don’t you speak to me like that! You’ve always been like this, chasing my coattails and wanting my scraps.”
Milli had turned to face him, her hand on his chest then and so warm that it only seemed to make his heart race quicker. He closed his eyes, leaning in close to nuzzle in nose in her hair. She drew in close to Nathan and it felt like earlier before everything went bad. This time she was fighting her feelings or desires. Her touch alone gave him the thought that she was trusting his feelings weren’t out of desperation or like she was someone to toy with. Nathan truly did love her. Though slow, he drew her in closer with his arm looped around her waist. His face was close to hers, but he dare not move an inch, somewhat nervous to move any closer and kiss her. This all felt so surreal to him, a moment he had been waiting for – a moment he would have had a million times before. What would have been of them if he hadn’t stopped himself from asking her out that night?
He loved to feel how gentle she was, his lips instinctively kissing her palm, a chaste kiss as she moved his hair out of his face. Nathan opened his eyes then, though dark he could tell that she was searching for an answer in his – a promise that this wasn’t just a one night experiment. That he wouldn’t go running off to Julia and while he couldn’t tell the future, Nathan knew that these feelings couldn’t be ignored and it was unfair to both women to not come to a decision. He knew though, that his love for Milli was as real as his love for Charlotte. Charlotte was his past though. His future had so much more potential and he was staring right at her.
“Tomorrow, yes.” He said leaning in to brush his lips just against hers. “And tomorrow, and the next day and next year and forever if I can.” He confessed, his love for Milli being so much more intense and for the [I right] reasons.
Milli had almost expected him to turn away, maybe fumble an excuse that he needed to leave. But he didn’t. He joined her in the bed, waylaying his shirt and Milli watched him. Part of her had to wonder if she had fallen asleep by the window and this was a dream but his skin was warm against hers and he was very real beside her. She heard his words and for the first time her heart didn’t sink, it didn’t plummet. It soared and she felt safe.
Milli watched him, resting a hand on his chest, hesitantly almost. It didn’t feel real, none of it did. She shifted closer to him, feeling his heart racing beneath his chest and her fingers. He could leave tomorrow, or Julia would catch them together. She didn’t know how she would explain any of this. She thought in the quiet for a short time.
“Will you still love me in the morning?” She asked him, glancing up at his face. She moved some of his messy hair, what a night he had endured. She wasn’t sure what would happen if Julia was in the picture, she just hoped her friend gave it some time. What if he just left in the morning? Part of her steeled her emotions for that, as if readying for the floodgate that would open tomorrow when he left. It was a stupid question to have asked, but she didn’t move away from him, instead welcoming his warmth and close proximity.
She had cradled against his chest, still holding on as he laid her down. His hand gently pressed against hers and he supposed that was one of the reasons she came to; though that was a light statement considering she still looked half asleep as though he were a dream. She became a little more alert then, wrapping the blanket around her frame. Though she had released her grip on his shirt, her eyes had much more of a hold of him, even in such dim lighting. Morning would soon come and Nathan wondered then just how beautiful it would be to see the sun’s light grace her face. He’d no intention of leaving, though some part of him wanted to disappear – wanted to go anywhere. He was much too ashamed of going to Julia’s and didn’t want anything to lead into an argument, as he knew she hated his friendship with Milli in the first place.
Her turning away almost made him think that she was already expecting him to return to her best friend, but her words told different and that gentle plead of hers was enough to convince him that she wanted him here. Nathan wanted to be here with Milli more than anything. “I’ll stay,” and he hoped she didn’t think of herself as begging when he knew very well he had longed to hear those words from her. How badly he had wanted to be with her that afternoon had awakened a darkened past, but had shown Nathan just how much he loved Milli despite knowing how wrong it was.
He’d removed his shirt then, climbing into the bed on the other side and drawing her in close. He could feel his body relaxing, despite his heart beating so fast. It was a risk and he knew that she could very well turn him away, but it didn’t stop Nathan from pressing against her neck. “I love you.” He said to her then, soft and flowing like the wind blowing away the wishes from a dandelion.
Despite the rushing thought and emotions coursing through her, Milli had succumbed to a light sleep, stirring slightly as she placed down on the bed and for a moment she forgot Nathan was present. She rubbed her eyes and looked up at him. He still looked haunted, with a deep rooted sadness lingering behind those dark eyes of his.
“Hey,” her voice was quiet and heavy with sleep as she came round a little more. She didn’t let go of his shirt, fingers curled into the fabric.
“Are you leaving?” She asked him, she wouldn’t judge him either way. But she wanted him to stay. She pushed herself up to sit, pulling a blanket around her frame as she watched him in the dim light.
“Don’t go.” The words left her lips before she could process what she was saying and she immediately looked away from Nathan, as if feeling embarrassed. She was asking him to stay but that wasn’t right was it? He could go back to Julia if he wanted.
“Please?” She whispered quietly and finally looked back at him. He had exposed his heart to her that night and she desperately wanted to know him better, the good and the bad, the happiness and the torment. All of it.
She was offering him the bed and he wasn’t even fully thinking until he headed into the bedroom, laying down only to realize he couldn’t fall asleep. He was in pain, but Milli was too and it wasn’t right for her to give up more than she already had for him or for anyone. Eyes staring at the ceiling, he allowed himself a moment though to rest and try to relax. He was not going to fall asleep though and his conscience would not let Milli sleep on a couch, not when he knew how much her injury pained her. He hadn’t really known the time until he checked his phone which was on the verge of dying. Julia had been texting him. At first her messages crude and volatile.
He’d be a washed up artist, no one would remember him, and he had no talent even to begin with. Though he final messages were her begging him to come back, apologizing for letting him leave. He heaved out a sigh, not wanting to reply and knowing she was probably asleep by that point.
Out of the bed, he began toward the living room. It was nearly four in the morning and he found her cuddled up there. It appeared as though she had fallen asleep. He didn’t want to question it or make a move, wanting her to get her rest and not wanting to disturb her. He wasn’t exactly sure if she was asleep and yet he still walked over to gently lift her to carry her to her bed. Nathan knew he wasn’t going to get any sleep anyway and if he passed out on the couch then so be it. She looked beautiful in her sleep. He felt bad for how he had troubled her and knew she had only come because she cared and was worried – much the same as why he had made such an effort to see her in the hospital.
Nathan’s story was one of heartbreak and disaster. It was gut wrenching to listen to and she felt awful for him as he went on. Not only was it bad enough he had been involved with a much older woman which brought problems itself, to know she had terminated his child must have been truly devastating. She watched him, patient and gentle as always as she simply waited for him to finish his horror story. Her heart broke for him and everything made sense in a way.
“You don’t have to apologise.” She mumbled quietly to him, he really didn’t have to apologise. He had done his very best. And keeping such a thing bottled so tightly up would have truly ground down on everything. She sighed out quietly and gave his hand a soft squeeze.
“You shouldn’t have gone through that, I’m sorry.” She mumbled. He shouldn’t have but he had. And she couldn’t change his past.
“Go on, go get some sleep, alright?” She gestured to her bedroom as she stood slowly, bracing slightly on the table. Part of it angered her, and she wasn’t sure why it made her angry to think of Nathan being treated so poorly and having his emotions torn into like that. But she supposed part of her also felt sorry for him.
She went to find her painkillers and washed them down with some water, sighing out. Nathan was broken and she hadn’t even realised it until it was too late. Her mismatched eyes searched the apartment lazily and she understood if Nathan didn’t want her around. She checked the time, Nathan’s story playing over in her mind and she had to admit it was harrowing to know what he had been through. It was four AM. She groaned a little then and ran a hand through her messy hair.
Milli finished the water and stiffly made her way to the lounge. She looked out the window at the dark streets and thought for a while. Nathan might have let her down the past few weeks but he had been there at the hospital, the train rides... He had done his best despite his overpowering girlfriend at the time. And to know he had gone through such turmoil in his young years was upsetting.
Milli glanced to the time and sighed softly, rubbing her eyes. Julia was going to calm down and realise what was happening and Milli wasn’t looking forwards to that. Julia would want Nathan back because she loved taking something she couldn’t have. It was a thrill for her.
All posts are either in parody or to be taken as literature. This is a roleplay site. Sexual content is forbidden.