[size10 [b he] is recovering from overdosing and facing jail charges for drug dealing
[b she] are recovering from an abusive relationship and facing your eating disorder
[b both] of you end up in rehab; one to escape prison time and another to escape the hands of her abuser. not knowing what it's like to face sobriety, you somehow find comfort in each other.
[b this] at first seemed like torture, a place you both were forced into, but as months pass and you are able to control your demons - a love blooms. you start to think there's some hope for turnaround in what initially seemed like a gloomy situation.
-so this is basically a rehab rp. my character is male and has already been there for a few months and is basically like your character's mentor. your character just arrived. im hoping this will be a pretty slow roleplay - a lot of character development
[tab] [b *this means this wont be first come first served. I want you to think about your character; where they come from, etc. capiche?]
-doesnt matter how much you write, just give me [i something] to work with and please dont write more than you have to, i get [s bored] easily
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It was true that Damien hadn’t really told much of his past or life to Roslyn. His world was chaotic and Damien didn’t want to toss Roslyn into it when she already had her own demons to face. However, Damien knew that in order for them to both become close enough for him to help her, it would only make sense for Damien to invite Roslyn into his world and trust her enough to tell her tidbits about his life. He had always had a guard up and it was hard for the male to actually let people in, but with Roslyn it came easy and maybe because he knew she wouldn’t judge him and to some degree they understood everything about each other despite only knowing each other for a small period. He could tell from the smile she would give him that she was a sincere and kind woman and Damien still had a pain in his heart at knowing that someone could be so cruel enough to try and dim her light. Someone was so willing to cause her pain and make her unhappy.
“Yeah, talking – not one of my strongest attributes I guess.” He said with a sheepish smile. Damien sighed out in relief then when he felt the weight of Roslyn’s hand in his. Just a second, the longest second of his life and he had to fight everything inside him not to interlace their fingers together. Damien looked into Roslyn’s eyes then, only turning away with red cheeks, his hand finally tugging from hers though everything in his face clearly indicates he wished it had been longer.
“I’m no good at this,” Damien said with chuckle. “This whole uh – feeling thing?” Damien had never been a zombie or just some cold hearted man, but he wasn’t really one to build relationships and maybe it had something to do with his upbringing as he rarely saw what would be considered a proper functional relationship. It was even rarer for him to see his father act kindly toward his mother – a kiss or I love you, save for random days when the liquor didn’t make him angry – just a sad sap that cried and would finally seem human begging for forgiveness. Damien could never really understand why his mother would comfort him at those times despite all the pain he brought. Possibly that was when he first discovered love was a complex subject, but Damien still was unsure if that was really love. Damien just knew that as sudden as these emotions about Roslyn hit him, he could tell they wouldn’t flee, but a part of him wondered if Roslyn would. He didn’t want to come off overbearing and yet there was some fear in him that there was a possibility that maybe Roslyn would deny him should he try to push his advances with her even further.
Roslyn didn’t know much about Damian’s past besides what he had talked about in group. She supposed that part of being her mentor meant that he had to listen to her problems rather than divulge his own but she would have liked to have thought that they had developed a friendship way he could speak to her about those things if he so wished. Perhaps one day he would open up to her in the way that she had opened up to him and she would be able to offer him something in return for all the help and support that he had given her over the last month.
For now, she couldn’t help but notice how nervous the two seem to be around each other after the kiss they had shared the night before. It was obvious that neither of them really knew what it meant or where it left them both but part of being in rehab meant that sometimes you couldn’t necessarily think about the future you just have to think about getting through the day and yesterday both of them needed that kiss to get through it. Maybe it would be a one time thing or maybe it would be a common occurrence while they were both still on here but it was obvious that neither of them really knew what to say about it.
Damian spoke then, mentioning his mother. [b “Oh wow. Damien...I know that must be really difficult for you but I want you to know that you have me as well as Justin should you choose to talk about it.”] She smiled and looked at his hand, unable to ignore it. [b “No, I don’t suppose a second would hurt.”] Roslyn smiled and place her hand on his and glanced up into his eyes, that unfamiliar feeling tugging at her heart once more. She would have to remind herself that this might only be temporary when she had a moment alone later.
The table acted as a barrier between the two, the only thing separating them and had there not been anyone in the hall, Damien possibly would’ve moved his chair so as to sit even closer to her. Damien couldn’t believe all those weeks they were together and so close. He couldn’t tell if he had chosen to ignore his feelings he had for Roslyn then or if possible he just didn’t notice how he was beginning to feel about her because it just seemed natural.
Now he couldn’t deal with his emotions. Damien was caught between being nervous while being close to Roslyn and yet not bothering to fight the urge to be as close to her as possible.
He was glad to hear that she slept well, Damien knew how hard her night had been and he hoped he was able to help her through it in any way. He replayed the memory of the night when they were in the garden. His lips tingled some then just at the memory of their kiss. Damien smiled to himself before turning to his food, trying to tackle the massive amount he had given himself. “A little later today yes.” He responded. A part of him really wanted to confess to Justin about the kiss and his feelings, but Damien knew that wouldn’t really do much of good. He needed someone to talk to about this as Damien was a bit confused as to what to do about him and Roslyn. Should he pursue her romantically? Or should he just leave them as they were – kisses here and there. He knew what they had was purely organic, but Damien didn’t know if this was something that could last outside the walls of the rehab. What if he relapsed? He didn’t want Roslyn to see the side of him that was high on drugs. Though when Damien did finish treatment, he would be on a strict probation and subject to random drug tests his first year. By then he expected the trial to be over and who knows – maybe they could have a [I future] together.
“I’m planning to have my mother visit for the first time,” Damien finally said. He didn’t really share a lot about his mother other than things he said in their group sessions. He was nervous and yet excited. H hadn’t even heard his mother’s voice since being here at the rehab. This was definitely going to be something Damien expected to share with Justin.
Damien looked around then, incredibly agitated not being close to Roslyn. He opened his hand for hers to place in his own. “Just for a second won’t hurt right?” He asked with a smile.
Roslyn was more than elated to see Damien but she was cautious and careful when it came to getting close to him, knowing that if they gave away their closeness there could be consequences and she wasn’t able or ready to deal with the consequences and she doubted that she would be any time soon. They tried to remain as close as possible as they walked to the dining hall. Roslyn noticed how he would ‘accidentally’ brush against her and she couldn’t help but smile to herself as they got closer to the cafeteria. [b “I slept really well. I hope you did too.”] She said as she approached the counter where they would get their breakfast. As always Roslyn’s breakfast was put aside for her. Some fresh fruit and some pancakes. She smiled towards the woman behind the counter.
[b “Would you mind if I got some bacon too?”] Roslyn was on a strict meal plan and she was allowed to deviate but asking for more food wasn’t exactly frowned upon when it came to a woman with an eating disorder.
[i “Of course you can Roslyn. It’s nice to see you getting a good amount of food in you. You look really good.”] Roslyn smiled towards the woman, thanking her for the compliment and look towards Damien when she heard his compliment under her breath. She blushed and made her way over to the table sitting opposite Damien, trying to keep her feet close to his so that a part of her was in contact with him. It was weird to feel like this after spending so long avoiding it.
[b “Have you got a session with Justin today?”]
Damien met the female at the lobby area of the woman’s dorm and couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face when he saw her. Last night was almost like a dream and it was a bit surreal to see Roslyn and how she looked at him – they shared a secret together one that he hoped would remain just between them and wouldn’t harm or hinder their healing. He was nervous and shoved his hands in his pockets then. There was a bit more pep to her step and her hair was down which was rare if not unusual when it came to Roslyn. Damien cleared his throat then. “Good morning,” he said. Not sure how to act casual around her now. Truthfully he wanted to just take her in his arms.
Damien was used to feeling pain, to hating everyone and everything – happiness didn’t necessarily come that easy for him. He was closed off and often didn’t trust anyone or feel the need to allow himself to be vulnerable. He always had his guard up, years of a wall built around him and even Justin still had trouble chiseling through when speaking to the male. Though with Roslyn it was different. He didn’t have to fake anything, fake like he was anyone else. She had accepted him as he was and to some degree had managed to see another side of the male that not many got to see.
“I’m starved too. Bacon does sound good.” He tried to stand as close as possible to her as they began to walk toward the dining hall. His arm every now and then brushing against hers, Damien staring ahead so as not to make it so obvious how close they were and so as not to freak her out as he couldn’t stop looking at her as though she were this ethereal angel that was dropped into his lap. “How’d you sleep?” He asked as they finally reached the dining hall, it was pretty early so not much of a crowd but pretty packed and their small corner table still remained untouched – a staple of their [I friendship]. He grabbed a tray for himself and for Roslyn, bacon definitely on the me bu which was a plus and Damien wasn’t lying when he said he was starving as he eagerly began to pack his plate. “You look beautiful by the way,” he said under his breath, cheeks blushing red as he quickly looked away. He finished gathering his meal: eggs, bacon, ham, bagels with cream cheese and some orange juice on the side. He headed toward their table and sat across from Roslyn.
The next morning Roslyn woke up feeling well rested and although the trial had taken its toll on her, she was able to gather herself back together with Damien. He had helped her realise that Michael wouldn’t be able to control her forever and that she was stronger than she realised and for that she was smiling as she made her way to the showers and got herself ready for the day. Breakfast would be soon and then they would find themselves in group and she felt as though she was ready to finally start talking about some of the things she had been avoiding. The trial would be good for her even if she hadn’t seen it before. It would make her open up and face some of the things she had been pushing away.
When she came out of the bathroom she got changed and looked at herself in the mirror. Maybe when she got out of here she would experiment a little with make-up for the first time. Since putting weight back on she was beginning to notice that she had a good bone structure and her eyes had a sparkle in them that she hadn’t noticed before. She smiled at her reflection and then pulled her hair back behind her shoulders, deciding to leave her hair down today.
Roslyn left the room and saw Damien coming towards her. Her heart skipped a beat and she smiled towards him. [b “Good morning.”] She said with a wide smile as she stopped in front of him. [b “I’m starving! I’m hoping there is bacon. I’m really craving bacon.”]
Damien could feel his heart tug just watching as Roslyn disappeared into her room and when he headed to his side he tried his hardest not to think of her, though it was incredibly hard. Damien could already sense he cared a lot for Roslyn and this night only further improved those thoughts and feelings he had for Roslyn. She certainly made his day better after learning news of his father and he hoped he offered some sense of comfort to Roslyn. He didn’t want her to think he was pitying her or that this was just some ploy to get with her or something to pass the time while he was here. He truly did care and have feelings for Roslyn. This too was new for him and he just hoped with time she could trust him. Damien was not going to pressure her into it though.
Removing his shirt, he climbed into the bed, arms behind his head where his fingers interlaced. Damien looked up at the ceiling, trying to reel in all the emotions he went through that day. He couldn’t believe the tyrant he called father was officially dead and gone. Damien was confused though, because some part of him wanted to grieve for the man. Though he knew that his father didn’t really deserve it. At one point in his life though there were good times. When he was younger it was trips to the beach, playing baseball in the park, and getting ice cream after school. Once he and his brother reached their teen years that all changed and Damien didn’t know why. He was angry then, wishing he could see the man on his death bed just to get some inkling of understanding as to why he treated them the way he did.
Not wanting to dwell on the dark side of his past too much, Damien decided to put his energy to his art, eventually he began to tire and climbed into bed then. When he awoke, he showered and tried to remove as much paint from his hands as possible, changing into his clothes before leaving his room to head to see Roslyn and walk toward breakfast.
Having him tell her that he would be there to make her feel normal anytime. It wasn’t something he could promise knowing that neither of them would be here forever. Roslyn happily walked with him hand-in-hand until they reached the clearing and they both instinctively let go of each other’s hand because they didn’t want to be seen being that close, that would make for a very difficult conversation with Justin and neither of them were ready for that conversation because they were not about to define what they had between them.
She was happy to allow him to walk her towards her dorm though, especially since that would have been part of their normal routine. Once they arrived at her dorm he took hold of her pinky just so that there was some contact between them. She smiled and nodded. [b “I will see you tomorrow.”] She watched him leave and then retired to her room. She felt different then, somehow a little more confident and all the stress of the trial had melted away from her.
Roslyn lay down on the bed and she smiled as she looked up at the ceiling and before long she drifted off to sleep. For the first time in a month, her night was not filled with images of Michael and her experiences with him but of Damien and their moment shared in the secret garden.
Damien admitted to himself that it made him happy to see her blush and even happier to see that she was smiling. He was more than proud of himself to make Roslyn’s night much better and to make her feel normal again. The feeling of her body against his, flush made Damien blush again himself. “Anytime,” he whispered and he did mean that. He knew that he didn’t want to just have this one night of kisses with Roslyn and he doubted with the spark that was clearly between them that this would be the last time the two would be in this predicament. Especially if they found themselves here in this secluded world of flowers and foliage – their own secret garden in a sense.
His hand pressed gently against her back, begging to hold her against him forever as she placed a gentle kiss against his lip and Damien was surprised to find that it was Roslyn this time who had instigated the kiss. He eagerly took her hand and followed her out of their piece of heaven. Eventually they had returned to the facility and Damien hated to do it, but he had to release his hold on her hand. Already it felt cold and a bit light, too light for his body and honestly for a man his age his age, Damien couldn’t help the frown that crossed his face.
“I can walk you to your dorm?” he asked her, hoping she would say yes as Damien just wasn’t ready to let her go and it kind of worried him then. He knew he would have to restrain himself from giving her too much attention as that would become too obvious. The goal was to keep this on the down low. They had finally managed to get to the woman’s dormitory and Damien managed to get a grip of her pinky with his own, giving a small squeeze before releasing. “See you at group tomorrow.” He said with a smile before turning on his heel and heading to his room.
Roslyn was not sure what would come to pass after today but it seemed as though both of them were mostly concerned with the here and now rather than what would happen in a few weeks or months from now. She also didn’t want to overthink things and assume that this was something that it wasn’t. They had shared a kiss...or two. He had not proclaimed to have anything more that a crush for her and she didn’t want to assume anything and embarrass herself.
She sighed softly and nodded her head when he suggested that they should keep things a secret. Not that she knew whether they would share another kiss or whether there was anything between them. Damien ticked some hair behind her ear and she blushed once more as she looked down at the ground. She couldn’t help but feel shy, almost like she was a teenager all over again. [b “We should.”] For now she wanted to take advantage of their seclusion and she leaned into him slightly. [b “Thank you... for making me feel normal again.”]
She needed to kiss him again, one more time like it might be the last time. She leaned forward and pressed her lips against his softly, lingering a little bit before taking a deep breath and moving away from him, keeping his hand in hers as they started to make their way back to the facility. She would not be able to stop thinking about him after this.
Damien thought then. What would Justin think if he found out. He suspected that the male would be mad but not for the reasons him and Roslyn thought. He figured maybe Justin would hate to have to split the two from one another considering how well they were doing and how good they were for each other. It was proven from how well they were doing in their treatment and Damien had no doubt that after a visit from his mom it would be one last thing ticked off for the completion of his testament. This meant that soon he would be leaving the facility and no doubt would move to live with his mother.
This was something he felt like was important to talk about with Roslyn as this could mean that of course he would be away. He didn’t want her to think that meant that he had no intentions to still remain in contact with her.
Not wanting it bring this up and ruin the moment, Damien figured that was a conversation they were to have in the future. Besides he didn’t want to get ahead of himself as it wasn’t necessarily spoken that they were a couple or anything. For the moment they were just two adults trying to get their lives together who had feelings for one another. At this moment they had just shared a kiss and that’s all it could be – for now at least. They couldn’t even really be together by themselves for too long and certainly couldn’t visit each others rooms regularly. For the most part they had to act like this night hadn’t happened. Though it would forever live in Damien’s mind.
“I think Justin would understand, but we should try to keep this as secret as possible.” Damien sighed out and reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind her hair. “It’s getting late. We should get going back.” Though Damien loved having her there in his arms and knew he would be thinking about her while in bed, staring up at the ceiling.
Everything about the kiss was gentle and full of emotion. It was almost as though they were trying to convey their feelings to each other without actually saying anything, maybe because it was too hard to admit or maybe because it simply wasn’t allowed, she wasn’t entirely sure but she didn’t want it to feel as though they shouldn’t have been doing it. Even though it was against the rules she couldn’t say that it felt wrong or that she was worried about the consequences in that moment but she knew that they would probably need to keep this to themselves because Justin would not be happy if he found out about this. He could easily transfer one of them and that was the last thing she wanted.
Roslyn knew that Damien was coming to the end of his treatment and that he would be discharged soon and when that day came, she didn’t know how she would manage without him or whether she would be assigned with a new mentor but she didn’t want anyone else and she couldn’t imagine being here without him, not that she wanted him to stay here longer than he needed too. He had worked hard to get to where he was now and if he was almost ready to be discharged she would not hold him back selfishly.
Maybe she would never see him again after that. He might have only sought comfort in her kiss and her company because he had been alone her for so long and she figured that if he left he would realise that there were so many other people out there who would be right for him and she would be forgotten. There were so many reasons why they shouldn’t do this, yet when he brought himself closer to her for another kiss, she could not resist him.
[b “If we get caught...Justin would be so angry.”] A part of her wondering if Justin knew something like this would develop between them. Perhaps he had orchestrated this all along, knowing that they have each other what they needed and what they had been missing all these years.
Damien was glad that Roslyn hadn’t pulled away from him, her arms looping around him and her body pressing close. She was returning his kiss and Damien was surprised but he wasn’t opposed to it. He was trying his hardest not to apply too much pressure to the kiss despite how excited and elated he was to find that she wasn’t pulling away. She had grown to like him and to trust him. Damien eventually drew her in and when she pulled away, he found himself holding her loose by the waist. The blush against her cheeks, the soft and sweet way she said his name made him smile.
“I take it this kiss went better than the last?” He asked in a low teasing voice. He knew earlier the kiss had come out of nowhere and she probably thought he did it out of sympathy. In reality Damien just didn’t know how else to express the emotions he felt and certainly hated how Roslyn was talking down in herself. If there was one thing that he expected of her through her treatment was to finally get a hold of her confidence once more. He didn’t want her thinking down on herself and he certainly didn’t want her to think her value lied in a mans word or that of anyone else’s opinion. Roslyn was the only one who could bring herself up or down and she had to realize never to give anyone else that sense of power over her. His hand reached up to gently caress her face, filtering slightly through dark strands of hair as he stared into her eyes. “Guess what I was trying to say is – I have a bit of a crush on you.” He chuckled lightly, biting his lip then in nervousness, feeling like he was back in high school.
He cleared his throat then, leaning forward to kiss her once more. “Is it wrong I dont feel an ounce bad about doing this?” He took her hands gently then, interlacing their fingers together.
Roslyn couldn’t deny that she had started to feel something for Damien any longer. At first he had offered her friendship when she needed it and he would talk her down from those moments where she felt like she was about to lose everything she had worked so hard for. However, somewhere along the way, the care he had shown for her had clearly wormed its way into her, blossoming feelings that she didn’t yet understand, nor could she explain if she was asked to articulate how she felt about Damien.
She had thought that she knew what I’d felt like to love someone and be loved by someone before but the longer she spent away from Michael, the more she realised how deluded she had become by his manipulation. She loved him one, maybe right at the beginning but that had faded very quickly and she was realising that through her treatment and it was clear that he never loved her, hell he didn’t even care about her. Damien was different though. She [i knew] that he cared about her and she was positive that he would continue to protect her in the same way he had been in the last month.
Her heart seemed to be racing in that moment, the way he was looking at her told her that there was about to be a moment between them. He stepped closer and voiced her name, that in itself seemed to be enough to make her heart race even more. Before she knew what to say or how to say it, his arms had wrapped around her waist and he drew her closer. This kiss felt different to the once they had shared earlier that day. A part of her thought that his kiss was one that was out of sympathy, trying to make her feel better about the herself but this...he [i wanted] to kiss her and she wanted it too.
Her arms wrapped around his neck and she melted into his kiss, never having experienced something that seemed to hold so much emotion. After a minute she pulled away from him and looked into her eyes, her cheeks reddened from the heat between them. [b “Damien...”]
Damien looked into her eyes, the same eyes he had called beautiful within just the first day of meeting her and he wondered then; was that when his feelings for her first developed ? His eyes then fell to her lips, full and rose in color. He knew he was lying to Roslyn earlier when he told her that he wanted to keep things as a friendship. He already admitted to her that the kiss hadn’t been a mistake but he had tried to brush off the incident so as not to make her feel uncomfortable as she was fresh from crying after her devastating trial. Maybe he was being selfish. But the way she looked there in his own special world, took his breath away.
Damien looked down then to see how Roslyn had took his hand. His eyes widened some in surprise as it was rare that Roslyn instigated any sense of contact and while she had gotten better being close to men, touching still seemed to be a little off her radar. “Roslyn,” Damien said softly as he closed the space between the two. He swallowed thickly, his face burning some as he got that same feeling of nervousness once more. His stomach felt like a hundred butterflies had been released inside him. He tightened his grip on her hand, not wanting her to walk away. He was scared though that he was coming off a bit too strong.
“I know we shouldn’t do this. All I ask is, you just – I feel so strongly –“ Damien couldn’t find the words and instead drew her in by the waist, his lips pressing against hers gently so as not to come off too brash or dominating. This was wrong only because it was against the rules. But if Roslyn felt an ounce of what he felt when together or even now in such an embrace – what was the worst thing about that could happen? It was just a matter of not getting caught. He cared about Roslyn and he didn’t know where this would lead, but he didn’t want to ever have to think what if.
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