⥧something like forever⥩

/ By SincerelyLily [+Watch]

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Maybe she was wrong. Maybe Quinn should never have asked Joshua to do this, yet she wanted to find some way for them to move on together and if he went down for murder...and for a cop, she would likely never see him again and the thought of that broke her heart entirely. She couldn't give up on the idea of them having a family together and she certainly wouldn't let anything break them apart if she could help it. If Joshua cooperated with the police, helped them bring Francisco and some of the other players in then they could strike a deal. The law did it all the time so they could do the same for him.

Quinn would have found another way if she thought there was one but she really couldn't imagine there being any other way to put an end to this. She just hoped that she wasn't pushing Joshua into something he didn't want to do. She heard the pain in his voice and she wanted to reach out to him but guilt stopped her. [b "I will if I need to but I really don't think it will come to that."] She sighed and finished up her breakfast, although she didn't exactly have much of an appetite by the end of it.

[B "Joshua, you don't have to do this. If I'm asking too much you say the word. I know...I know he meant a lot to you and helped you out of a lot...I just...Joshua, I don't think I can do this without you."
  Quinn / d1gn17y / 205d 12h 38m 28s
Joshua wished things were different too and certainly didn’t want Quinn to feel like she was at all at fault. This was his mistake and he couldn’t run from it. He couldn’t believe that this was his life now. He thought back to the first time he met Quinn at the nightclub. He had no intentions of starting a relationship with her, his attraction purely physical and yet that night when they had sex he felt entirely different about her. He couldn’t get her off his mind and he sincerely developed feelings for her. Asking her to be his girlfriend, saying I love you – these were not common actions for him. This love was different though now that she was carrying his child. Joshua knew that necklace around her neck meant something and if luckily in the future when they were all settled, this mess would be behind them and there would be a ring on Quinn’s finger.
“Hey I can roll with the punches,” He jested with a smirk toward her. Joshua was incredibly nervous though, he hoped that this would all go well. He didn’t want her father to have some bias against him because of his relationship with Quinn. Though, he trusted Quinn and if she felt like her father could help them out of this mess then he would believe her. “I guess it is best you go back to your father. Don’t want you unprotected at my place. Can you take Charlie – just in case?” Joshua’s hand gripped the fork tight and he couldn’t meet Quinn’s eyes. For some reason he had the feeling to cry, this was all becoming too much for him and yet he was trying to show strength for Quinn. His life had been perfect, everything was going fine – and it wasn’t like Quinn disrupted his world or anything, but she had shown him that happiness wasn’t just about money and certainly trust was more than who would catch a case for you.
They’d finished breakfast then, Joshua full but still feeling more uneasy. So much so, he was definitely willing to down two glasses of champagne before paying the bill.
“Alright, let’s do this.” He headed to the car then, incredibly nervous, and it took some time for him to gather himself before starting the car and heading toward the station.
  joshua / SincerelyLily / 205d 15h 28m 58s
Quinn hoped that he understood her choice to stay at her father's house for the time being but she also figured that his apartment would get too small for them very quickly. It was a beautiful space but there certainly wasn't any space for them to raise and baby and while she didn't want to come across too judgemental, she didn't exactly like the idea of raising a child in that part of town, knowing there was a chance for their son or daughter to get caught up in a gabd themselves. That's not what she wanted for their child. She wanted to give him or her the best life possible. However, she was relieved that they both seemed to be on the same page about moving on.

Quinn smiled as he kissed the back of her hand. [b "Forever."] She repeated but withdrew her hand when food arrived so that the waitress could put their plates down. She thanked her before she walked off and Quinn didn't hesitate to start eating. [b "I think that would be for the best. The sooner we get this over with, the sooner we can move on."] She watched his face carefully and sighed a little. [b "I know...I know I am asking a lot of you! I'm sorry. I wish things were different, I wish there was another way..."]
  Quinn / d1gn17y / 206d 10h 29m 29s
Joshua hated that Quinn felt unsafe at his place, but he could understand why she felt that way considering what he was going through. Eventually, it would be even more dangerous for both of them to be there if he planned on ratting out the gang. A plan that he couldn’t go back on as he had made a promise to Quinn and he wasn’t going to go back on it. He looked down at their hands, both gripped tight and gave her a smile as he squeezed it.
“I love you too,” he said with every bit of the words being true. It did pain him some to know that Quinn wouldn’t be sleeping with him permanently, but he knew this was all temporary. He cared more about her safety than he did of his own. It worried him then the idea of turning himself in. What if he was booked that day? Days in jail and being without Quinn was a devastating thought. Even worse if he was sent to jail, he wanted to make sure that no one would come after Quinn because of what he planned to do. As he had told Quinn, Francisco was not the man to mess with. He had people on the inside in every field and it would be very easy to make someone disappear without any effort whatsoever.
This was also about the safety of his future son or daughter. He had to remind himself that Quinn’s father was a cop and surely could protect his daughter, but then again there are dirty cops in the precinct Joshua is sure and it was possible Quinn’s father could let something slip or even the information given inside could lead to harm for her father and for Quinn. “Well when all this is settled, we’ll build a life elsewhere. You and me, forever.” Joshua brought her hand to his lips and kissed the back of her hand then. The waitress soon returned with their dishes and Joshua realized then just how hungry he was.
“Did you want to see your father after this?” He asked as he began to butter his toast.
  joshua / SincerelyLily / 206d 10h 51m 21s
Quinn smiled and chuckled a little. [b "Possibly a pregnancy glow. It is strange to me to think about how much is changing and will change throughout this pregnancy. I found out yesterday and I already feel so protective."] She said as she placed her hand gently over her stomach, smiling to herself before she looked up at Joshua before they made their way out to the car. They were heading out of this part of town which she was barely surprising since he was about to rat out a man who had controlled so much of his adult life. Neither of them wanted to focus on that too much yet though.

[b "Me either. I don't think I will ever come to terms with it to be honest. I love that you are so happy about this though."] Quinn looked up and kept her hand in his, quite happy with how things had turned out and where things were going. Soon enough their were arriving and Joshua's chosen choice of restaurant for breakfast and true to form he had chosen an expensive restaurant. Maybe it was because it was what he was used to or perhaps it was because he knew he wouldn't get money so easily from this moment on. They moved inside and were shown to a table and then she looked up at his question.

[b "I'm going to go back to my father's house. I...I want to move in with you. I want us to have out own place but I don't think it should be there. I...would be worried about...you know..."] The gang wouldn't take so kindly to them talking to the police. She gave her order to the waitress and then put her attention back on Joshua and took his hand. [B "I love you."]
  Quinn / d1gn17y / 207d 19h 25m 38s
Joshua kissed Quinn on the cheek, taking her hand as they exited the apartment. “You look good, I mean you always do, but especially today. Pregnancy glow?” He teased. He opened her car door, making sure to look around as he knew that there was someone who was making notes of his moves and now that he was considered a prime suspect he knew he had to be careful. One slip up would give them enough reason to bring him in and Joshua doubted it would be easy to get out of that situation. Besides, he had every intention to turn himself in, but he was going in on his own terms. He didn’t want to be dragged in on a trumped of charge and with his broken rib, he was definitely not in the mood to be roughed up either.
He got into the car then and began a little more out of his area that he lived in, thinking it would save him some and a nice break from the local cops. He did worry about the black eye, but he felt he looked decent enough, at least he had managed to style his hair. Him and Quinn certainly didn’t look like the type to date, but Joshua liked to think that was the exciting thing about their relationship. His hand reached out to grip hers for just a moment, squeezing it as he looked at her briefly. “I can’t believe we’re going to be parents!” He exclaimed excitedly. At least it was a nice day and right now all he could think of was him and Quinn being back together and that there was the [I possibility] that this whole case situation would work in his favor if Quinn’s father played right by him.
Eventually they arrived in a shopping district; a little posh area filled with shops and little eateries. Joshua parked the car out outside and got out, opening Quinn’s door and offering his hand for hers. He definitely stood out amongst the woman in cardigans, walking their little dogs and the men in suits on their phones, setting up meetings to attend. Joshua recalled coming here once as a kid, it was close to the pier and a nice one, not like the trash filled one where they dumped bodies.
Of course he looked a bit rough compared to everyone else, but the only person’s who’s opinion that mattered was Quinn. Hand and hand he headed into the first spot he could see that offered breakfast.
The hostess looked a bit thrown off, but still led them to a table and handed them menus. Definitely not cheap, but Joshua was hungry and nothing was too expensive when it came to Quinn. “Are you planning to go back to your dad’s eventually? Or do dreams come true and uh – you plan to move in?” He asked her then, settled on what he wanted and taking a sip from the water. His palms were a bit sweaty thinking and finally asking Quinn that question. He couldn’t see what would be the main issue; they were going to have a child and they loved each other. Nine months seemed like a long time, but he knew it would fly by so quickly. “I mean, I figured we might need a new place eventually. My place is more of a bachelor pad fit for a bachelor which I certainly am not any longer,” he said with a chuckle. The waitress came over soon enough to take their orders.
  joshua / SincerelyLily / 207d 21h 7m 56s
Quinn couldn't help but chuckle at Joshua's words. [b "Hey I know it's not logical okay, but the baby wants what the baby wants. I can't deny him or her."] She laughed once more and placed a hand on her stomach. [b "already got me wrapped around their finger."] She hadn't thought about children before but now thay she knew she would be having one of her own she couldn't help but imagine what it would be like becoming a mother. She had no role model really and that did scare her a little but she had to remember that she wasn't in this alone. She had Joshua and regardless of the fact her father was mad at her right now, she knew that she had he too as he would never leave her to fend for herself in that way.

She looked up at Joshua now that she was dressed and ready to head out after putting on a touch of make up and pulling her hair back. [b "As long as 'somewhere nice' has bacon I really don't mind where we go for breakfast. Although, it had been a while since we have been on a date hasn't it?"] She nodded and followed him out to the kitchen where he fed Charlie and once they were ready to go she pat her gently and then turned her attention back to Joshua.

[b "Come on then Romeo. Take me to breakfast."]
  Quinn / d1gn17y / 208d 19h 10m 24s
Joshua was in the midst of rebandaging his ribs, nearly dripping in sweat at that point from pain and from exhaustion. Bed just finished taping them when Quinn came barging into the bathroom, head in the toilet in seconds. He felt bad for her and he was glad at least she had gotten over the insecurity that came with throwing up in front of him. Slowly she came to a stand and rinsed our her mouth. Joshua felt bad about her being sick, but knowing the miracle of a child that came with it he could care less. As long as Quinn was healthy and happy, he had no worries. He smiles as she kissed his cheek, finishing up his morning routine before heading out of the bathroom and toward the bedroom.
“You just barfed and you’re thinking about bacon?” He asked with a chuckle as he shook his head. He began to change then, removing the towel to place on a pie of boxers, dark denim jeans and a clean white t-shirt. He certainly cleaned up well and despite the light remnant a bruise under his eye he looked pretty good. Joshua definitely didn’t look as rough as he did the previous night and he hoped this would help with his image when he went to see Quinn’s father. Though Joshua didn’t feel all too comfortable still about ratting on Francisco. Watching Quinn though, the love he felt for her – feelings he never thought he would feel just only reminded him who he was doing this for. It wasn’t about being loyal to Francisco anymore he knew. The hand had been his family for quite some time, but with a baby on the way and a stable relationship, Joshua knew he had to grow up and build a real family of his own.
“Breakfast sounds good.” He said to her then, a bit distracted by his thoughts but trying not to show them. He walked over to her then. Hands cupping her cheeks to deliver a kiss upon her lips. “I never took you out so breakfast sounds good. I can take you somewhere nice,” he said with a smile. Charlie was barking from the front demanding attention or food, maybe both. “Let’s head out yeah?” He suggested as he kissed her again and headed into the kitchen to refill Charlie’s bowl. She somehow could sense how on edge he was and nuzzles his palm, his hand running over her head before kissing her.
Joshua reminded himself that he just had to remain strong. What was the worst that could happen?
  joshua / SincerelyLily / 208d 21h 38m 58s
It was obvious that Quinn missed Joshua in equal amounts to him. She was keen to get close to him and everything seemed right in that moment, like she was always supposed to be here and that she should never be apart from him again. That was probably why she slept much easier that night. Having him close made her feel safer and happier and there was no doubt in her mind that she had made the right choice in choosing to be with him.

She didn’t wake up until the next morning and when she did she found the bed empty but within minutes of her waking up she was overwhelmed with the need to throw up. Morning sickness was horrible and she knew that it could come at any time of day, it just so happened that it hit her now. Quinn barely had the time to even say good morning to Joshua who was stood at the sink in the bathroom before she was throwing herself to the floor to puke. Joshua had seen her sick before so she wasn’t too embarrassed by this. She remained on the floor until the heaving stopped and then reached out to flush the toilet and then she stood and looked to Joshua. [b “I’ve had about a week of this now.”] She pouted and moved forward to brush her teeth then. When she was done she kissed his cheek and moved back into the bedroom to get changed, sending a text to her father to tell him that they would be heading to the station later.

[b “Do you want to grab breakfast somewhere? I could really go for some bacon right now.”]
  Quinn / d1gn17y / 208d 23h 45m 26s
Joshua was glad that for the mean time everything seemed to be settled. Though he knew better, this small bit of peace could be turned over any moment. He came to a stand then with the help of Quinn, heading through the hall to his bedroom. Charlie trotted after him. He realized then there would be a lot going on and his apartment was definitely too small for him and Quinn, Charlie, [I and] a baby.
“Yeah, well – I mean I did like fighting.” He admitted, but not coming home with busted ribs every weekend actually did sound like a good idea. “Not sure about what else I’m good at,” he muttered. Joshua removed his clothes then, slowly but surely and still his body was not looking too good despite the muscular build. The bruises seemed to take all the attention. Joshua got under the covers then, Charlie hopping on the bed to lay against their legs. He ran his hand through his hair then and looked over to Quinn, scooting closer to her and lying his arm across her stomach. “I missed you, I sleep better when you’re with me.” He confessed. Joshua had hoped that when he woke up a lot of what had happened lately would be a dream, but he knew better.
Still, the pain pills had made it easy for the male to fall into slumber. He awoke the next morning before Quinn. Heading to the bathroom to take a leak and brush his teeth. He was feeling like crap and it was dawning on him then the promise he had made to Quinn the previous night. He was supposed to go to her father and turn himself in. The thought alone made him want to throw up. He knew that he had to do this if he wanted to keep Quinn and their future child in his life. He couldn’t risk going to jail. He could only hope this wouldn’t backfire and that her father could help. Joshua hopped in the shower then, hoping that would settle his nerves.
  joshua / SincerelyLily / 209d 36m 10s
They had come to an understanding then and she was confident that the two would be able to make this work. Quinn knew that she was with someone who was part of a gang and she knew that he was capable of the things that she associated with them but he wanted to be better and she could see that in his look and hear that in the determination of his voice. As long as they stuck together, she knew that they would be alright and she had every confidence that they would make it through this. She just hoped that her father wold come around because she couldn’t bear the thought of losing him. His promise was enough for her.

[b “I love you too.”] She smiled then as his hand went to her stomach. [b “Then let’s get some sleep. Come on you!”] She helped him off the sofa and to the room and got herself changed for bed. [b “At least you don’t have to worry about broken ribs and fighting anymore.”] She said as she looked up at him before climbed into bed and pat the empty space next to her. [b “I have to say, I really missed this bed. It’s so much more comfortable than mine.”]
  Quinn / d1gn17y / 209d 8h 2m 54s
It was still settling in then that this wasn’t just about the young couple any longer. A child, Quinn was pregnant and would be having their child. He had to protect Quinn and the child she carried in her womb. He held her closer then, his arms drawing in Quinn. She was right, he had to take this risk and it would be for the betterment of their relationship and their future. He looked down at their hands, fingers interlaced with one another’s. Quinn’s voice was still calm and all she was doing was pleading that he wouldn’t lie to her any longer. He drew her hand up to his lips, kissing the back of her hand and holding her palm then against his cheek. His nose nuzzled against her palm then, Joshua just happy that she was willing to stay with him through all this mess.
“I love you Quinn and I promise not to ever lie to you again.” He was serious and he was dedicated to making sure he kept this promise. That wasn’t to say that Joshua wasn’t still nervous, but he had to have faith in Quinn. It came to him then as well that he had to face her father and that would take a lot of pride. He also had some hope that he would put aside his hatred for the thug and because he was willing help with the case it would show that he was someone worthy of his daughter’s love and to be the father of his future grandchild.
“I’m tired,” he admitted to her then. The pills and the beer were taking over him and overall it had been quite the emotional day. “I just want me and you – us,” he said with a smile then as his hand returned to her stomach. “To go to bed. We’ll go see your father tomorrow.” He suggested then. Joshua could barely get up though, the couch wasn’t any more comfortable though and the bed allowed more space for him to hold his girlfriend against him.
  joshua / SincerelyLily / 209d 9h 16m 24s
Quinn knew that she was asking a lot of him, hell she was potentially asking him to out himself in danger but she knew that they couldn't continue with the way things were. Joshua would be caught for murder if they didn't be proactive about this and spinning a story about Francisco made more sense, especially if it meant that he would be put away. She had no doubt that he was a powerful man and that he would have resources within his reach even behind bars but this was something that they had to do. She didn't want to raise their child alone and she couldn't see any other option. However, Quinn knew how much she was asking of Joshua and she wasn't sure he would willing to agree to it.

She felt relieved when he finally agreed but that didn't mean she felt easier about any of this. She was well aware of the danger they were already in and the danger that they would continue to be in but they were in this together now. Quinn nodded as he leaned forward to kiss her, her hand joining his om her stomach. When she pulled back she looked in his eyes. [b "To protect [I us.] All three of us."] She kept her hands laced with his for a moment. [b "Promise me you will never lie to me again?"
  Quinn / d1gn17y / 209d 10h 5m 26s
Walk away? This was a life he had been living for a while and with his past starting over how easy or possible would it be for him to move function in society as a straight arrow? He hadn’t even attended college. He brushed his hands through his hair then, knowing that Quinn was serious, and she needed an answer. She needed an answer now and if he said no, he wouldn’t be surprised if that would change her mind about if all this trouble was worth it for him.
“I’m willing to walk away. For you, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do.” Joshua admitted as he gripped her hand tighter, interlacing their fingers with one another’s. Quinn was going on then and the words that were coming out were seriously making him nervous. Asking him to leave the gang was dangerous enough, going against the head of that gang was even more dangerous. Did she know what this could mean? His life was in danger, her life was in danger and the child that was slowly growing inside her. Joshua didn’t know if he could put her though that risk. Her life was important to him and even if her father wasn’t a fan of Joshua, he could also be a target and it would break Quinn’s heart if he was harmed.
“I don’t know Quinn, it’s a lot to ask. What happens if they don’t put him away? He’s a powerful man and he has friends in high places.” It was true Francisco had power and this being why he was a free man for so long despite all the crime he was involved in. “I kind of, had a hand in intimidating a few key witnesses,” Joshua said then, cheeks burning red from being embarrassed at giving that information. Quinn was right though. It made sense to get in front of this before they found just what they needed to fully bring Joshua in. Quinn was important to him and his future child. “Fine,” he said to her finally agreeing. It was a risk and he knew that, but a risk that he had to take. Joshua just hoped if he did manage to cut a deal that it was a decent one. A year or two – he could do, but he didn’t want to have to be without Quinn. He also worried for their safety, even if they managed to get Francisco locked up he wouldn’t be happy and would come after Joshua and everyone he loved.
He wanted Quinn as far away and protected as best as possible. These people were ruthless’; kidnapping, murdering or maiming to get the point across that you don’t go against the gang; you never fold or bend, and snitching was definitely frowned upon. He leaned forward and cupped Quinn’s cheek. “I’ll do whatever I need to, to protect you. I love you,” he said to her then before leaning in for a kiss, his hand instinctively reaching out and pressing against her stomach. Time could only tell what the future held, but he had to have faith and it would be easier with Quinn at his side.
  joshua / SincerelyLily / 209d 17h 24m 19s
Quinn thought that she would already be freaking out at this but she kept her cool and she listened to him carefully, trying to piece things together. It was becoming clear that Francisco was not really a friend and she couldn't help but think that he was worried. Perhaps it was because Joshua had become close with Quinn and he felt threatened by that fact, perhaps it was something else entirely but there was no doubt that Francsico was pushing this one and wanted him to get caught. She bit her lip and looked towards him as she tried to think about what to do. There was silence again for a few minutes.

[b "Are you willing to walk away from him? From everything?"] She was deadly serious and she figured that if he said no to this question then perhaps she would have think about whether he was worth. God she hoped he was worth it. [b "Here is what I think we should do. I think you go to my father and we tell him the truth. The truth about the fact that you were there that night. That you watched Francisco put a bullet in his head and that he asked you to dispose of the gun."] She knew she was asking a lot of him. This was a bid deal and to go against a gang could come with serious consequences.

Quin took his hand and sighed. [b "If you cooperate, help put him away...strike a deal."]
  Quinn / d1gn17y / 209d 18h 35m 40s
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