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/ By Carat [+Watch]

Replies: 7 / 48 days 14 hours 2 minutes 38 seconds

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[center [size9 nothing to see here, losers]]

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[center [pic https://i.imgur.com/MU4b9gu.gif]]
[center [size10 I don't need people talking shit behind my back because I'm sick of not being asked how i feel about being thrown in a position half the time. Y'all get to decide what you want to do all the fucking time but do I? No. I ask to run outside after we close and I get "yeah take the trash out" excuse me? No, see this is the thing y'all will run outside and take fucking 10 fucking minutes and it's okay, we run outside and we gotta run out and be right tf back in asap and it's bullshit. If I ask if I can run outside it's not to take out trash. I was about to fucking cry my fucking eyes out cause y'all fucking act like y'all only exhausted ones. Like y'all the only ones who aren't appreciated. Just cause I can run drive thru like that doesn't mean y'all should make me, and y'all fucking do. And oops sorry I bitched to Ryan about it cause oops I'm fucking sick of some of y'all bitching in my ear about it. Sorry not sorry. Y'all ain't got no fucking business bitching. I do this fucking position all the fucking time. Shut up I don't want to hear it.]]
[center [size10 if it weren't for the lack of options I'd just fucking get a new job and quit, but oops not many options around here, ain't it swell. Oh well, I could have moved but I had just got here so fuck that noise and honestly? I don't know if this current status with big boi bulbasaur all that bad and if it would have been a thing that could have possibly happened had I moved. So long story short, yeah I got fucked but maybe I'll get fucked wink wonk. Loljk I gotta stop being broke first for that to happen. Yeet.]]
[center [size10 seriously stop being fucking petty assholes when it comes to closing you wanted tf out of the store but you sure did the bare minimum once we closed and you saw I was doing what you volunteered to do. Like idk what you were doing besides just getting extra hours but you were so worried that once Ryan left it would just be us, which was 5 of us which is more than we usually have but whatever, go off I I guess.]]
  Carat / 2d 2h 33m 13s
[center [youtube https://youtu.be/HYHz4kZNuV8]]
[center [size10 I'm a sappy little shit and I hope you know how much I appreciate you lately. I can honestly say I've never actually appreciated you in this way or to this degree. This isn't me wanting more than you can give or wanting to take and give nothing in return. I don't really want much. I just want to give as long as you're willing to take it, I mean I can't give you anything of material value or of monetary value because I'm broke as fuck, but I can be a sappy little shit. I can also be a break from everything, I can be your break from life, from work, what breaks the pattern for you. Like I said I'll take the responsibility for being your reason to exist. I'll make my way to you but I'll be patient, and I know you won't let me be impulsive, God knows I want to so badly. I just want to run so much some times, but that's not how we're doing this is it? We're doing this properly and in a timely fashion and fuck it I can do this. I got this. I know I do. I'm a big grown adult who's made it this far, I can make it a little longer on my own.]]
[center [size10 you're my home and even though you're all the way down there and I'm all the way up here when I get to talk to you everything feels okay and thats nice. I hope it works that way with you too otherwise I'd just feel self centered.]]
  Carat / 3d 4h 14m 57s
[center [size10 apparently my ID wont allow gas stations to be lazy anymore cause when they scan it anymore it kicks it back and says I'm underage. I'm fucking 28. I'm just trying to buy cigarettes the legal age here is 18. I'm 11 years older than being under age way to make me feel old. Not anyone ever guesses I'm ever my age. I either get early 20s or mid 20s but when I tell people my real age half the time they don't believe me. Even when I offer to show them my ID that says 1991 on it. Like come one why tf would I lie about being that old. I definitely don't act it that's half the reason no one believes me.]]
  / Carat / 4d 16h 13m 51s
[center [youtube https://youtu.be/Xnzt4ZvmUtg]]
[center [size10 fear is good, the whole album is good but this song right here is the one. This is the one that's got me, hook line and sinker. 247 is a damn good song too. I'm just waiting for a live stage and choreography for fear because my bois got to be centers holy fuck. Boo Seungkwan, sweetie, honey, baby boy, I love you. I'm so soft for you it's not even funny. Woozi, honey, you're doing amazing and got damn idk how you look that damn good but you do. Hoshi, honey I'm going to have to fight you one day, I love you but just know we gonna wind up scrapping in a parking lot while woozi watches.]]
  Carat / 6d 20h 29m 4s
[left [pic https://i.imgur.com/sjvdSiw.gif]]

[center [size10 i actually felt alive for like two hours. Told him he was beautiful. Was mushy. It was different than usual. It made me realize that when I'm "happy" I'm just existing. I'm just skating by. Waiting for anything to just break it down. Break me down. Must be nice. Feeling alive all the time. All I want to do now is leave. But I have to be a responsible adult. I can't just do what I want and run for the next best thing. For one I can't afford that and two it's not a wise thing to do mentally. Not for me and not for him honestly. We're both working shit out. I'm in a state where I would probably try to fight him on stupid shit if I was around him too long so distance is nice for both of us and means we have time to sort our selves out. I dont want to be a mess to just add to his mess or anyone's mess. So honestly maybe it's best I got bailed on even if I am drowning right now. We got this. We work the best under pressure and stress even if that also what kills us. We'll work this all out and come out of it stronger. Not for anyone else but ourselves. But God knows I do want to get down there. Just so I can see his growth and punch him if he ain't grown. Right in the fucking face.]]
  Carat / 10d 2h 40m 23s
[left [pic https://i.imgur.com/sjvdSiw.gif]]


[center [size10 I'm about to deck myself in the face if I cry instead of sleep one more fucking night let me fucking tell you. This some mad bullshit. THIS is why we fucking exhausted half the fucking time if we being honest with ourselves. We ain't gotta cry every fucking night God fucking damn.]]
[center [size10 on another note imma lowkey fight someone of coworkers soon if they dont fucking stop just being them cause holy fuck what is their fucking problems. If you can't fucking handle the job just please quit I'm sick of y'all freaking out all the fucking time and then being like "its okaaaaay it's not that bad" when I'm freaking out cause I'm drowning just cause yall fucking useless and just standing there while I'm fucking running around doing shit. Fuck off with that bull shit.]]
  / Carat / 13d 4h 13m 5s
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