[b "I may be an alcoholic..but you never have to worry about that with me. I will never lay a hand on you...or our child."] Jackson whispered as he held her close. He would sooner die then phyically harm her. He couldn't promise emotions...especially after what had happened back at the dressing room
She nodded, “Every night and my mom died when I was three months old...he hit me Jackson.” She cried.
Her words made something click. [b "An alcoholic?"] Jackson asked her slowly and quietly. Because he had met her father and he seemed a good enough guy. But being one himself he would recognize it. [b "You're never going back..."]
“I was 15 and I lost her because of my dad..he hit me Jackson...I...thank you for getting me out of there.” She knew if her dad knew she was pregnant he would be upset.
He brushed her hair back and kissed her forehead. [b "Nothing, baby girl. Just hated hearing that you had to go through that."] It was partly true. Just didn't want to tell her all of it.
Ally looked to Jackson when the nurse left, “thank you honey...what’s wrong?” She could see the hurt in his eyes, “You can tell me Jack.”
Jackson shook his head and held her. [b "I should be saying that to you..."] He said to her quietly as he kissed her head. His eyes then went to the nurse when she came in and asked her question. Then he looked to Ally when she spoke her words and he held ber closer. [b "I'm sorry, baby girl.."] He whispered quietly. Her own words hit something in him..something he had wanted to forget and something Bobby and Gail didn't know..
She nodded, “My dad.. I grew up.” She couldn’t tell him she grew up with an alcoholic father and she wanted better for their child. “I’m sorry Jackson.” She said crying.
When the nurse came in and asked if this was her first pregnancy she shook her head, “I was raped when I was 15, lost the baby girl.”
She said she loved him and would do anything for him and their child..that he could always talk to her about what he was going through and felt.. Would she feel that way if she knew the real him? The fucked up and broken piece of shit that he was? [b "I..Ally I've been like this for a long time...gonna take a lot...but I will try, baby girl.."] He couldn't tell her...
She took her face in her hands and kissed him all over his face. “Jackson William Maine, I love you and I will do anything for you and our baby, I want you to know that...no matter what your going through or feeling..you can always talk to me...but I need you to do something for me..and our baby....get clean..and work on getting sober.” She knew he had a stash of drugs in every dressing room and she couldn’t overlook it any longer.
He wasn't going to leave..he was going to make her hate him enough so that she left him. He would not let her or their child want for anything. He would take care of them. He just didn't trust that he could be there. Didn't want to do to her and their child what had been done to his mom and later him. But none of that he could say as he hugged her back. [b "Not gonna leave baby girl...and I know you can do this. I've seen you with the guys' kids when they have come to the stage. You're great with them...natural really, Alls.."] He whispered as she took his hand and placed it over her flat stomach. And when she said what she had seen, Jack was crying. She believed he could be a good dad...he didn't.
She hugged him tight, “Jackson you...your so much more than you think you are...your afraid but so am I...I never had a mom to look up to or learn from...I’m going to be winging this but please.. don’t leave me, don’t leave us.” She said taking his hand and putting it on her flat stomach. “You know what I thought as soon as I saw that plus sign? I thought oh my god and then an image of a little boy who looked just like you with you chasing him around the back yard...Jack your going to be an amazing dad.”
"Can you blame him, Bobby? Remember...he has demons to face that even we don't know about.. But with a baby coming you're right..it's time to check him into rehab and for him to get himself sober. I'll help you look into facilities once the tour's done.." Gail whispered as they were watching Ally and Jackson.
Jackson did look when Ally had said and kissed her back. He was nervous as all hell. He could NOT do this. Couldn't become his father and hurt her. But he saw what her hearing him say what he was afraid of had done. He was fucked. Just a fucking piece of shit that would never be good enough for anyone or thing.. It was her begging him to say something that called him out of his head. And still she was crying.. [b "Can't believe we're having a baby, darlin'."] He whispered as he kissed her. For her...or at least in front of her he could try and hide his fear. She deserved that much..more even..
“Jack look.” She said kissing him. Bobby and Gail watched, “He’s afraid to turn into our dad...Gail...might be time we check him into rehab.” Bobby whispered and Gail nodded.
The doctor explained she was about 4 weeks which would put her due in January. Ally nodded and the doctor left to print off the ultrasounds. “Jack..say something please.” She said through the tears.
He had thought Gail had taken her back to the hotel. Why he had even let his mouth run to begin with and told Bobby what was in his head. But the moment Ally was clinging to him and begging him not to leave..he knew she had heard it all and it broke him to see her so broken. He was an asshole and the world's biggest dick.. But when it came to her...when it came to her he was soft...and he was gentle. In those moments...Jack would say anything she wanted to hear..and he did say the words she wanted him to.
At the hospital, the man was silent. Better for him to be as he was still completely drunk and even high. Just one look from the doctor told him that he knew that ALL of this was HIS fault. So he only nodded when it was said the ultrasound would be done. His eyes too on the screen and his hand in Ally's. It was when they saw the baby were tears in his eyes...he couldn't believe any of this was real.
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