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[h3 My Gamer Girl]
[center [+blue I'm going to be honest these headlines won't really mean much except the cute pictures I put. That being said they are a way to organize my thoughts and express how much I love you.]]
[center [+blue This section will focus on the daily life of being in a relationship with you. Routine schedule and repeat. So I'll run right into this huh? I suppose first comes first. Why write this? I can't say really. It's a good question but I just... Felt it in my heart to share these feelings with you. Because honestly I adore you so much.]]
[center [+blue Now to the first section, our daily life huh? Mondays are such an exciting day for us aren't they? My weekend being long and hard due to work. Monday is a day we get to relax and spend time together.]]
[center [+blue Usually you are a bit drained from the trials of your weekend and it starts slow. You may be quiet or a bit down. And I try to cheer you up. Though I don't feel frustrated nor do you it can be a challenging time. I know this is due to personal and family matters. But all the same we both open up at night. Laugh and have tons of fun. Ending with you sleeping on the phone as we whisper sweet nothings to one another.]]
[center [+blue Tuesday, the drain of the weekend is gone and we find ourselves gaming and watching shows much sooner. Laughing earlier too and really getting into a rhythm together. Our positive feelings flowing through us both. Rarely are these days difficult in anyway. You open up to me a lot on these days for whatever reason. As do you on Monday but you seem more calm the day afterwards which relaxes to me to share even more with you. As every week passes our dynamic grows and matures. Becoming more set in stone and yet morphing and calming. It's hard to explain I sound crazy I know it. We pass out whispering sweet nothings to one another.]]
[center [+blue Wednesday it really depends how early I work Thurdsay if I work early Thursday we feel limited in time causing stress on both sides. If it's afternoon we take the day slow and enjoy it as best we can. Still a bit sad for me having work on Thursday. We pass out whispering sweet nothing to one another.]]
[center [+blue Thursdays I work. If I'm home early I'm usually tired from waking up early and nap. Than we hang out. If it's the afternoon I recharge a moment and we game game game. And we find ourselves excited for Friday but dreading the looming weekend. We pass out whispering sweet nothings to one another.]]
[center [+blue Friday, we enjoy the day off. A bit of anxiety but at the same time a bliss. I feel grateful to be alive and to have you in my life. Despite the trials of me being a lazy/anti social/anxious screw up who's been on disability most of his life with more mental issues than I realized. So I know being an adult is hard for me. But having you on these days I realize I can do it. With you beside me I can. I ponder on my past and on my future and I take whatever losses I've had in my life. Close friends and past goings and I find myself gently letting them all go. Pouring my all into you. We pass out whispering sweet nothings to another <3]]
[center [+blue Saturday My least favorite day. You're stressed and so am I. Probably at our maximum to be honest. That being said? We have a lovely and enjoyable call in the morning. Before work watching a few shows and talking and wishing each other a good day. Because we know we will miss each other so much. When I get home after a long day I gotta sleep early for work the next day. But we still pass out whispering sweet nothings to one another.]]
[center [+blue Sunday is a mix of excitement and bleh. It's the same as Saturday except we are excited for the 3 day weekend. Not having me for a day I can tell takes a toll on you :C. You seem less energetic and when I get home I'm excited but you take a bit to charge up before laughing. But when you do? God does it make me so happy. And how we play and play the night away. And even after the hardships and ups and downs of the week. We again pass out whispering sweet nothings to one another.]]
[center [+blue Not all days are the same of course. But the differences we have are honestly? Positive ones. Rarely are they negative.]]
[center [+blue I want you to know how much I love you. With all of my heart and I hope my life with you continues forever and ever.]]
[center [+blue Bonus Note: I love we share so much in common and love doing stuff together everyday!!!!]]
[h3 My mage]
[center [+red This focuses on the INT stat. XD How you are my mage. So really this focuses on the mind and the metaphorical heart. RPG quips aside this is how your heart and mind has touched and changed my life. "It's magic... Ya know"]]
[center [+red I made this section thinking how sometimes you like mages and I like warriors in games. Look how we played Outward after all! Or Overwatch even you keep the distance and I usually get real close and personal. I think that goes for our personalities too.]]
[center [+red How we met you kept walls up and guarded playing a "distant" ranged class. I had been scared and guarded before but now? I was meeting people and getting to know them. Friends or intimately I was being more direct and straight forward. I even tried dating Jill again but this time not cheating on her. Giving her the full boyfriend experience. In the end she did not want it at least not from me. Though the night of the break up was semi dramatic I let her go easily. And I even tried my best to let Monique go in a better way.]]
[center [+red After Abby I learned to not guard my heart but not to be an Impulsive emotional jerk at the same time. It helped that after Abby I become a little pickier with my company. Things didn't usually end off with. "Ha, cheated on you bye sucker" And than trying to turn my friends on me. I knew how to read the flags and move about accordingly. Like when I got to know Nakuri and how that went. ]]
[center [+red So when I met you and I could tell fast we would at the very least be CLOSE friends. I told myself to be 100% honest with you no matter what. The past and everything all of it. I was 100% honest with a few others right before as well. As I was with Monique. Because the relationships that would have ended dramatically. Instead END way faster and more abruptly with much less time wasted and no one hurt. It was healthier. That being said? I had no idea the happiness that was in store for me. I thought I was already happy.]]
[center [+red Sure I was getting over Monique and I missed her so much. I still loved her even. Before you she was the kindest/sweetest/funniest/smartest girl I know. The fairest to honestly. And her friends saw her as a blunt girl with a big ego. Funny how that was gentleness girl I'd ever know but she was. ]]
[center [+red So I just knew I'd have to be honest with you. I'll be honest I didn't think we'd last long as a couple because my directness? Well I was learning it ended things FAST. It wasn't like before when people became obsessive. It was... Short but painless. You? Took it all in. Listened with your tomes and mind. Ya freaking mage-]]
[center [+red Ahem, I mean you heard me out. You even began to slowly spill the magical secrets that was your life and feelings. I... Sang to you before even talking in a phone call. I'm not that direct normally... Flirty yes but emotional that fast? Before verbal reassurance? Pffttt naaah. But our words talking online touched me in a way I can't explain.]]
[center [+red You were... Nothing like anyone I met and to me that was a good sign. So straight forward and fair yourself. You had weaknesses like struggling to share sad feelings but we've all got weak spots. You always tried and it made me try.]]
[center [+red Monique taught me how to love with my mind and my logic. Which helped even out my rocky waters but you revitalized that hopeless romantic. How to love with my heart without destroying what is my mind. Earth and Heaven mind and body. Chinese mumbo jumbo- xD]]
[center [+red I love you and the effect your cast had on my life? Well... I'm spellbound <3 and happy to be!]]
[h3 My Sword]
[center [+green This section will focus on the body as a swordswomen must have a strong body! I think of how you damage my enemies while I protect you in every game we play.]]
Dark Souls 3
[center [+green So this section will focus on your body >///>]]
[center [+green I want to express how it makes me feel. You are... Beautiful I love your eyes and the way you smile? Melts me. It's such a sincere smile as you tilt your neck and shake your head knowingly. It's so.. Cute and has such a unique charm to it. Like... A smart and knowing beauty. Hard to explain.]]
[center [+green You have cute kissable lips of course ;3 and here's the embarrassing parts bunny. You are so freaking sexy dear GOD. I drool thinking of you. Those large sexy breast of yours? Are to DIE FOR. Or die with? When they squish me? XD]]
[center [+green That's not all no but I'll save that talk for somewhere less public >///>. I can say you blow the sweetest kisses! Direct with a tinge of shyness! ^///^ Daaaaw its so cute just thinking about it.]]
[center [+blue Routine and purpose.]]
[center [+red Emotional impact and emotional connection <3]]
[center [+green Sexual and Intimate attraction.]]
[center [i These are all things you give me and thank you so much. For everything. I love you with all of my heart. MWAH! <3]]
[center There’s nights I wake in my room and the darkness closes in. I get a fear that crushes me. Turning me into a child searching for more than just light but noise as well. Just something to make myself feel better. I don’t know what causes these moments. I don’t enjoy waking this way and it happens a little more than it use to. I’m not afraid of the dark... Actually I prefer it. Nights like that though I don’t want to get out of bed.
It’s like walking across the floor is dangerous. Like something is waiting to ambush me. There’s no where to hide in my room. This fear... It’s fucking pointless and I know that.
Last night I woke like this. Everything was something to be worried about. Even checking the time scared me. As if just a little bit of light would cause something to punish me for it. Normally I turn on the tv and fall back into sleep, but I just left everything off. Guess I was too terrified to even reach for the remote...
I don’t know how I fell asleep...
I thought I would feel better today... I don’t... I feel down still... I feel like crying... I had to stop playing Warframe just because I didn’t know if I would be able to hold those emotions back anymore.
I think I’m just going to lay down... I need to charge this phone anyway...]
[center Today I feel off. Maybe it’s the lack of sleep. The constant up and down for laundry. I don’t know but I’m just not happy. I feel down. I am trying to keep myself busy and distracted but... It seems impossible. Every time a mission ends I’m right back at this spot. I think deep down I know what’s wrong. I only want to ignore it though.]
I remember that video... With the guy that had 50 Bloodtinge in level FORTIES.
And that one video of that waaay too tanky guy in the forest.
Could I have 50 Vit? As a level 40's twink?
Can it be done?
The answer is Waste of Skin.
All stats are base except Vit.
And this hard caps Vit.
10% and 15% HP Rune of course.
Stamina regen is a must.
But for 3rd rune it's a tie between stamina rune and reduce all DMG by 5% for the 3rd. Depends how many swings I can get with whatever weapon I wield.
Course thing is? My weapon choices will be ass xD
Actually reading over the list this guy will only be able to wield the 3 starter weapons.
Truly sucking ultra ass in that department.
But Hunters Axe is good for Rally and Saw Cleaver is good for PVP.
So will probably use those two weapons for different situations anyway.
Can Wield Cane as well but ehh.
Build will be funny to fight with though.
[center [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvdtJsZpuQ4]]
[center Finally down a little more. 168. I was stuck on 169 for almost two months. Feels like such a small step down for being stuck for so long... So I’ve decided to cut down on soda. I don’t want to because I use it for a lot of things. Helps with stress and depression. Plus it just tastes good, but I can’t keep drinking it the way I am. The ones grandma and Tyler offer is all I’ll take and it’ll only be one or the other. I won’t ask for it either. I’ll switch to drinking tea and juice for something sweet. The zero calorie soda might not be a bad idea, but the kidney stone part of it makes me turn away from all diet soda. Most of it tastes bad to me anyway.
Forcing myself to walk even on the hottest days will be a must too... I get back all gross and sweaty, but I’ll live. The heat just makes me feel sick after I’ve been in it for too long. I think I’ll be alright though.
I want to feel alright with myself... Though I do wonder if this will fix the problem. I wonder if my self esteem issues really come from just the need for weight loss. I know there is that other underlying issue. The polycystic ovaries. Bleh. Only have one now and it’s still an issue. The hair it’s caused to grow on my stomach bothers me a lot. I could shave it. Actually I’ve been considering it for days now. Even did today when I was in the shower, but... If I missed a day or anything like that it would grow back worse... To me it’s already bad and I’m not sure how to handle it.
Other options are either expensive or painful. I’m a baby so... wax which would be really quick is a no go. That shit hurts bad.
Deep down I just want to feel good in my skin, but there’s something’s a lot deeper that make me feel worse about myself then better. I really don’t know if weight loss will help... I don’t even know if actually going through with something and removing the hair would help... I started thinking about a lot of this last night.
As I stood there shaking I wondered deep down why I was doing what I was doing. I wasn’t good enough yet. Maybe deep in my mind I never will be.
I was thinking about you today. Thoughts of you always seem to comfort me, but I was invaded with memories that made me want to close out all my thoughts completely. Maybe it’s the day... Well either way... I’m not having a bad day. Actually it’s been pretty good. I’m a little tired after the walk and overheating, but really I just miss you.
And I know you’ll just tell me that you miss me more. I don’t know about that though cutie.]
[center [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHOchCe3YII]]
[center [pic https://danbooru.donmai.us/data/sample/__emilia_and_raphtalia_re_zero_kara_hajimeru_isekai_seikatsu_and_2_more_drawn_by_umanosuke__sample-5398913a0c1a6e80fbc03af8ee1166bb.jpg]]
[https://www.wcostream.com/kung-fu-panda-2 Here ya go baby girl <3 <3]
[https://www.wcostream.com/kung-fu-panda Here is the link my sexy goddess >////<]
All posts are either in parody or to be taken as literature. This is a roleplay site. Sexual content is forbidden.