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[h3 [center 1:30 ]]
[center I’m frustrated. Irritated. I’ll be glad when this room is mine no longer. I took melatonin I hope I sleep soon... Put the bye bye man on for noise...]
[center [youtube https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jakpo7tj7Qw]]
❀ Nerium ❀ ❀ Twenty-Seven ❀ ❀ Aries ❀ ❀ His ❀ ❀ Flower ❀
“A breathtaking sight... Imitations they may be, but together, they make a fine spectacle... Though the flowers of evil blossom, be it known... Abominations are fated to perish!”
[center Nerium’s persona 5 profile.]
[center [pic https://thumbs.gfycat.com/WealthyWideeyedCrocodile-size_restricted.gif]]
[center Moved here to save]
[center Today has been odd for me. I don’t know why but I got this feeling like everything was going to be fine. With how I felt today when I was talking with mom... It made me wonder... Can I forgive..? Can I sat everything that’s happened behind. I stress out and think too much, but if I let myself think clearly maybe... Maybe things aren’t that bad... Maybe I can be forgiving.
That doesn’t mean I will forget. I won’t. My guard will be up constantly, but maybe a chance should be given. I’ll think more on it and talk to you... Because your thoughts mean the world to me.]
[center [youtube https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Qzw6A2WC5Qo]]
[center [+orange I tend to think over things too much and fall apart rather easily. I know how I can be. You can tell me as many times as you want that I’m not difficult, but I know that I am. I know when I’m being frustrating or too much when I shut down. I’m pretty good at picking up how you are feeling by the tones of your voice.
I don’t say much about it. I just acknowledge it to myself. It almost makes it sound like I wait until you’ve gotten frustrated, but I really don’t mean too XD. I take time to organize my thoughts. Sometimes what I want to say is on the tip of my tongue, but I rethink it so many different times. It’s crazy really.
Sometimes it’s great because you just read my mind. You don’t always do that though. You make me talk... Well not like force me. You give me the time to kind of open up on my own. It can be really frustrating. Not just for me but for you as well. I never really do thank you for being as sweet as you are.
Never getting angry. Only falling into silence or asking me if I need time. You always keep a calm about yourself that really helps me. I know how bad I can be. I was thinking about it today. Listening to you talk was really helpful. It calmed me down and gave me time to let my mind focus on something else. It was great.
It gave me time to calm down so I could talk about what was bothering me. You are an amazing person. Constantly offering anything to me to make me happy. I said it earlier and I still mean it... You don’t have to sacrifice things for me. You can do whatever you think is right. I may get upset or angry, but that doesn’t mean I won’t calm down and understand later.
I really love you. So much. You are everything to me. My world. I can’t wait to be right next to you.
I still have many fears and doubts, but things are always getting easier. Even on my worst days I can still see a light. Nothing’s like it was before. I use to spend days hating myself. Hating that I had to get up everyday. The only thing really making me stay alive was a little dog.
At the time I didnt know what I was going to do when he was gone. I told myself I would get a job and I would leave, but I knew better... I had no drive. In the end I was falling apart. You saved my life and made it better. Some steps I wasn’t ever going to take, but you helped me take those steps.
I feel a little better about myself every day. I still have days though... I’ll look in the mirror or I’ll be in the shower and I’ll hate everything I see. It’s such a malicious way to look at myself and I try to think of myself better.
I remind myself that beauty is in the eye of the beholder... Clearly I don’t see what you do. I pick myself apart. Every flaw. I think you are blind or seeing something completely different than myself... You always have so much love in your eyes. Love sick. The way you stare is so intense and it’s never looking through me...
You always seem to put me on a pedestal and I’m afraid that at some point you’ll finally see everything I do. I bet you think the same of me though. The way I look at you. Do you know if it’s really you I am seeing..? Do you worry I’ve built an image of you that you won’t be able to fit..? These questions don’t have to be answered because I know the answers.
Being good looking is just a bonus to me. Just knowing your personality... I love it. You make me laugh and smile. I like that sometimes we just sit in silence and it’s not awkward or stressful... I love how affectionate you are and how much you think of me. I love how you tell me as much as I want to know. You are a complete open book and I’m aloud to read as much as I would like.
I’ve told you several times that you are my type but I guess I never really explained that. I love dark hair. Blue or green eyes. Blue being my favorite. I never had a preference for weight or height. Those things never really mattered to me. I don’t really have a preference for muscle either. I’m not a hard person to please I guess... Deep down I am really picky though.
I never look at a persons appearance first just because I know how disappointing that person might be inside. Shadow is a good example... Sadly when I was a teenager I wanted to save someone... He wasn’t in any real danger... He just seemed like he would end up alone someday. I wanted to save him from that.
I guess deep down I wanted a person that would look at me if I was their world. That I was everything. I wanted to be needed. I wanted to be able to have someone I could need. Someone that didn’t make me fear being myself. Someone I could worship and put on a pedestal.
I do that with you. I tell you all the time I’m wrapped around your fingers. I’ll do anything for you. I’m leaving home for you. It’s funny I don’t think anyone else could ever get me to do that. I avoided those kinds of conversations. I use to hate people calling me pet names...
When I hear you call for me... I just love it. It could be by my name or one of the many pet names you have given me. It’s sweet. Those moments though... The ones where I hear you say my name... Those moments always make me the happiest. I’ve noticed more and more that I see my name when you give me those sweet messages in this journal.
It makes my heart jump. In a good way. It moves me. You are just amazing. The best boyfriend in the world. The best person in the world. You’ve quickly became so close to me. You’ve became my best friend. My confidant. Even though it may take me a long time to tell you things I still do.
I love you so much.
By the way your ranting why I was typing this up was super adorable ~]]
[center I’m tired of feeling this way... Sometimes I wish I was emotionally numb. Sometimes I want to run to an old account. One that’s been forgotten. One that’s unknown... Just so I can write in a journal there... Where it can’t be seen. Where I can vent about everything even the little things without having to worry about it being read by people I know... It’s not like it would be hard. I have every one of them written down a long with their passwords. I can change the names and I can make sure it isn’t connected to any of the accounts I use now. It would only be for a journal anyway...]
Gotta charge a phone than I can call you.
Good morning though cutie.
I still feel good today <3
[center I just remembered my dream from last night. A nightmare. Bleh. Weird since I had a good night. Guess worry still overruns everything though.]
[h3 [center Rough Idea]]
[center [+skyblue “You shouldn’t move so much. It’s only going to make things more painful for you.”]
Ah drunks were such easy targets. Always stumbling around and doing stupid things. Such as getting a tattoo they would probably later regret. This one wouldn’t be any different. A smile slowly came over his lips, but it was hidden beneath his mask.
[+skyblue “You know I love doing names... I mean it doesn’t show my skill as well as something like a dragon, but names are always so fun. Maybe because they are so personal.”]
Talking always made people feel more at ease. Not that this guy needed that. He seemed like he had been out having too much of a good time. The guys friend was watching though and he was very sober. He also looked a little worried.
[+red “I really wish he hadn’t drank so much... I’m sorry we intruded on you miss...”]
Miss..? Well that was no surprise. Most seemed to think he was a woman. His features and voice were soft. He never tried to correct them though. Why should he..? These moments were always so fleeting. It wasn’t like he would meet these people again and if he did... Well fate was funny wasn’t it..?
Most never stumbled upon this place a second time though.
[+skyblue “Oh I don’t mind. I actually opened a few hours ago. So it’s nice to finally see someone come in! So this name... Does it mean something to him or is this just something random that he will most likely regret later..?”]
[+red “His girlfriends name... Well ex girlfriend now. She broke up with him tonight. He was very attached to her... So he may really regret that tattoo in the morning... He has to learn one way or another doesn’t he..? Once he realizes this... I’ll pay for him to have it removed. So I’m sorry your beautiful work will have to go to waste.”]
Alecto frowned slightly behind the mask. He looked at the name he had started and slowly he smiled. It wasn’t hard for him to do something different. Wouldn’t want the man to come out of this regretting everything. Time for humans was so fleeting.
Alecto worked the rest of the time in silence. Once he finished he gave the friend instructions for how to care for the tattoo.
[+red “You... You didn’t do the name... That’s too kind of you. Why..? You don’t know either of us. All that matters is we pay you right..?”]
[+skyblue “Life is fleeting. At least he won’t regret this being on his skin. I think he may enjoy it more actually don’t you..?”]
[+red “How did you know about his dog though..? I didn’t tell you and neither did he...”]
[+skyblue “That’s a secret. You should go now before I decide to charge you the price of that tattoo. It’s much more expensive then just a name.”]
The threat was light and had no real weight behind it, but the man left with his friend. Alecto stood watching the door after they left. He slowly reached up and pulled the mask down.
[+skyblue “Humans are so fascinating... They ask way too many questions though.”]
He sighed softly. It wasn’t like he loved hiding stuff about himself from people. He wished he could show them what he could do. Instead he would just surprise them in the way he did tonight. A lovely tattoo of a dog who had passed away. The name of a cherished loved one.
He could do so many things and yet he was in a way powerless. If he showed too much he would be hunted down and killed. It wasn’t like he was all powerful anyway. He could only do so much. Humans didn’t see it that way though. His kind was dangerous. He was after all just a lesser demon.
He was dangerous... At least he could be... He always chose not to be though. Why should he be dangerous..? Humanity was truly wonderful. They were so complex. He loved it. Being a tattoo artist was the best way to get close to them and learn about them. If he wasn’t careful though they would figure out what he was and...
He sighed softly. No point in thinking about it. Thinking about those things got him no where.]
[center [https://www.reddit.com/r/FFXV/comments/82cgoi/comrades_new_item_crafting/ Here]]
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