Judgement of Corruption

/ By Tsurai [+Watch]

Replies: 70 / 76 days 10 hours 15 minutes 39 seconds

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[size10 Kurai Kanashimi meaning dark sorrow. Just a name to remember.

" People find comfort in the Darkness...because it is the only thing that never leaves...No matter what."

"Loves doesn't lie...People do... Love doesn't leave... People do...Love wont hurt you...People will"

I like this quote but I feel it lies.
  Tsurai / Tsurai / 1d 4h 8m 11s
[size10 There I apply for another job. It would be a house cleaner... I think I would be pretty good at that. I really wanted to apply at a coffee house but no matter how many times I tried to submit my application it wouldn't accept it. -_-

Thank you Rika I am doing a lot better. I am kind of lonely. I was suppose to go to lunch with Sammy and Austin but Sammy cancel...so I think Austin probably did too.... I just really want to see him but oh well ... we will cross path tonight... and for a while still until he gets his new job... then it might get hard each time I think of that it hurts. So I'll just pretend it not going to happen... haha... it be okay... I suppose....

[Youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jdQWia3fwMU ]
  Tsurai / Tsurai / 1d 4h 57m 22s
[size10 Thank you Envy talking to you did help even if it didn't seem like it. I will talk to Sammy and Austin more tomorrow. I try to talk to him today... It didn't really help... all I wanted to do was be in his arm and cry but then again I couldn't do in front of him... the only reason I want to cry is because I don't want to lose anytime. I want to spend as much time with as I can.

Also he went to bed early it startled me because I worried I annoyed him. It was funny because he was so worried he lose me when I was worried Id lose him. I am scared that I am going to lose him. I love him so much too!
  Tsurai / Tsurai / 2d 2h 56m 22s
[size10 I wish I could say I felt better but... I don't I am still stressed out... I just wish I made enough money to be out on my own. I'm also sad that he will be leaving our store soon... I can't tell him this because that is selfish.... I mean I am happy for him. He will be making more money... he will get the respect he deserves... he will be happy... I just wish his hours wouldn't be so odd that is okay... we make it work I think... but if get another job... I wont get to see him... he probably wont even want to stay with me.... I'll be all alone again...but that's okay... I need to be alone... maybe I can finally find myself... Because still feel lost... I don't know who am or what I am suppose to be anymore...

I love him so much... I don't like the thought of losing him.... He know how to make me happy....Happiness isn't free....
  Tsurai / Tsurai / 2d 7h 40m 0s
[size10 I knew something felt off... I was just going to get another talk about not having another job... They are just worried that I won't be able to live on my own... I know they are just trying to look out for me... I was thinking of changing job entirely... but that is hard...

Then this uncomfortable feeling... about not having my boyfriend around...crept over... I love him so much but I suppose anything is possible... They just want to make sure I will have that reassurance that if I need to fucking leave I can... They just want me to grow up... I know I get that... Sigh... It's hard to explain but right now this wasn't what I wanted to hear.... They only want me to be happy. I know happiness comes at a price...

So now going back to a couple weeks ago they want me to just move out and right in with him....now they wanting to make sure I would be fine on my own... okay... I am just so confused... I am lost... Maybe that is where I should stay... is lost....

[Youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNRHD5LkpCw ]

[Youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgemEmFhGtQ ]
  Tsurai / Tsurai / 1d 4h 54m 18s
[size10 Sigh I have a bit of a head ache... I just have this bad feeling something is going bad is going to happen... I hope this feeling is just because I not feeling well...

I have more on my mind but for now I will keep that bottled up...

I am think of editing my profile... I also need to make an rp for Anri soon.
[h3 Current format ]

[center [http://rp.eliteskills.com/vc.php?c=405605 [size20 [#8d0807 辛い ]]]]
[center [font "century gothic" [#9063f8 "The Truth is everyone is going to hurt you.You just have to decide who's worth the pain"]]]
[Center [pic https://i.imgur.com/1Ld8UeD.gif]]
[center [font "century gothic"『 [#fdafdc Twenty-Five ]| [#c3ddf9 Female] |[#c3f9d1 Taken] | [#ffee7a Pansexual] | [#f8ab63 Doesn't play well with others] 』]]
  Tsurai / Tsurai / 3d 1h 30m 33s
[size10 I hope your interview goes well today sweetie... I'm glad you will finally be able to get away from that place. Yesterday work had you pretty worked up. I am glad I was able to take you home and spend the day with you. I hope I helped cheer you up. I loved spending the whole day with you! It was lovely.

I wish I could say I was happy to be back to work after having 3 days off in a row. I wasn't... It wasn't a terrible day but I might have to take a delivery Friday and it make me very uncomfortable going across a busy street. My coworker said I will be find but I get so nervous.... Driving is getting better for me but I still don't like it...
  Tsurai / Tsurai / 3d 10h 6m 56s
[size10 I had so much fun Yesterday. I think I had more fun seeing all my friends than the concert. That concert was amazing. I am glad you finally got to meet him Envy. ^^ I hope you liked him, he is very sweet.

I am happy I got to spend some alone time with him afterwards. It felt great. I took him to mom for a while then went back to his place. Which I think his cat likes the cat fountain. I can't wait until I can see him again...but that probably wont be until Thursday... that is quiet a long ways away... I hate being a part from him... I feel lonely when he isn't around.... I really will miss him when he leave the store....I don't want him to...he sweet for saying he doesn't want to leave wither but he needs too. It will be best for him... I can't wait until I get to see him again.
  Tsurai / Tsurai / 5d 7h 22m 35s
[center [size10 Envy I truly am sad to hear about Lennon. I know you and your family must be heart broken. He is a very sweet doggie he doesn't deserve what he has and has gotten. I wish I hand some good advice but sadly I don't... The only thing I can think of is that quote we found when Charm died...when Fred, Kash died and Rascal died.... Own a pet is so hard sometime but it really can be the greatest thing in the world... The friend ship you gain... The love you feel... I'm really sorry and can only hope things will get better V_V
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yntDx4Y4baw [size10 Dark On Me ]]

The week has been pretty good so far. Other than having a few days where I felt down. I get to see him tonight that makes me happy. I know he going to be getting another job soon... which is great I am happy for him but at the same time I am selfish I am sad he is leaving. It be weird no see him almost everyday...
  Tsurai / 7d 23h 34m 0s
[size10 [+pink I just got home after spend a day with him... It was the best. Not everything went as planned but we had a lot of fun. We even went on a picnic. It was just lovely. I'm just so happy to be with him... I hope he knows that... I feel lonely when he isn't around.
  Wolfy / Tsurai / 13d 7h 17m 27s
Oh goodness lol Rika I don't think I have the good of advice... I mean people think I am the devil so ... You wouldn't want my miss leading. XD I am glad you are feeling better! Or at least a little better.
  Wolfy / Tsurai / 15d 5h 58m 1s
[+Pink It's really scary to put your heart there out on the online when you are unsure of what might happen in life. To me you are wroth it... All the pain and what might come. I love you Austin. You make me feel whole when for a longest time I felt empty. You make really happy... You make me feel like I am not alone! That I will always have someone who love me for me... You will always be there... I hope you feel the same because I always want to be there for you... I will try my hardest to open up to you more... I might be broken at time but all those shattered pieces care for you so much... I can see myself spending the rest of my days with you. I love you sweetheart... I hope reading this at least bring a little smile to your face.

[Youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhNp7i4xaUU]
  Wolfy / Tsurai / 1d 4h 57m 49s
[+pink Thinking of you.... You're always on my mind. You really do make my heart flutter but I won't admit. I when I say I love you I really do mean it. I'm always excited to see you but sometime I hold my feeling back... I don't want to seem to clingy. I honestly....

sorry Rika it's still a work in progress
  Wolfy / Tsurai / 15d 6h 47m 44s
[size10 Thank you for helping me Envy... I tried to open up to Austin... Sadly it didn't help... we were talking in the car so it was hard to explain things.... He feels like my mom and step dad are trying to shoo me out... he said not nice...

He said he isn't ready to live together...He said he still needs alone time. I understand because I like to be alone too but at the same time the hurts... Sigh...

I really was hoping to be in a better mood so I could write something sweet for him...but sadly... I'm still down...and bitter... We have date tomorrow.... I even got excited but... I wonder how long he wants to hang out... I really want to stay the night with him...but I don't want to bother him... Maybe I'll go home early to get out of his hair...
  Tsurai / Tsurai / 15d 9h 47m 44s
[size10 Sigh I wish I could say that today has gotten better.... It really hasn't, I'm really stressed out... I guess, I get what they are saying when they say I should get another job. I understand it now... I just wish I knew what to do for one....

I don't even know where to apply... where to look... I know a lot of places are hiring now.... I'm just so stressed...

I guess I finally understand when they say you only have to look after yourself... but that make me feel so lone.... I guess you enter this world only you also die in this world alone too.. All you have is yourself....

[Youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YQ8IbVIwPM ]
[Youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kd3tFhwjHwg ]
  Tsurai / Tsurai / 1d 4h 53m 15s

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