Tadashi’s heart almost skipped a beat hearing Hiro’s mention of the University. A couple of days ago, his brother was entirely against the idea but now that his work has been stolen and mass produced, it gave them another reason to bypass all the emotional healing for immediate answers.
[#424ef4 “Well you obviously can’t go alone,”] he tried to say nonchalantly, being careful to not shake so much when he reached for the coffee. [#424ef4 “You don’t know the campus like I do.”] Not that he was trying to sell his accompaniment but he thought it was a little unfair if Hiro decided to leave by himself. [i Again, not that I can do anything to stop him. We made that clear.] [#424ef4 “I mean, you can do what you want as long as you’re careful.”]
[i You gotta stop talking like that. He going to know something’s up.] He kept thinking about about his lack luster future and how crappy everything seemed to be now. Those words Hiro said yesterday really got to him and he absolutely hated how he still lingered onto something that he should just get over. Old Tadashi would have. He would have known that it was mostly teenager talk and not to take things so personally.
Small legs were pulled up into his chest, Hiro looking over as Tadashi moved to close the window. He was grateful for that as the room had gotten quiet cold but, if Tadashi was having another fever-like episode, he didn't want to deny his brother of cool and refreshing air. A lot of the coffee seemed to have disappeared from the mug which Hiro was happy to see. At least one male was still taking care of themselves.
His question, though, made him think a bit. What [i did] he plan on doing today? Lately he had taken to being his aunt's errand boy and she had a couple of things for him to do today. Other than that he had a butt load of free time. He could look into the microbot situation, which Tadashi would more than likely want to do, but Hiro hesitated on that. If he were to bring Tadashi to the University, which is one place he needed to go, he worried about how his brother's mental health would deal with it. Hiro wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt and say he would be fine but the possibility of a breakdown made him pause. If that were to happen, could Hiro handle it?
[+red "I have to go to the store for Aunt Cass but, other than that, I'm not sure,"] he responded a bit quietly. [+red "I kind of want to go back to the University, sneak into the blocked off area and see if I can find any traces of my bots there. Other than that my day is incredibly empty."]
Tadashi was happy that Hiro listening and took care to get himself the medicine sooner rather than later... unlike himself. He rubbed the cup softly, taking in all the comfort it offered before the heat drifted away. He took in a deep breath, deciding whether or not to tell Hiro about his late night project with GoGo. He wanted to- he should but he wanted to see if it worked first. Additionally, if he didn’t get his shit together before trying it out, he wasn’t going anywhere.
[#424ef4 “I don’t know,”] he answered, [#424ef4 “There’s things that need to be done but don’t know if it’s the right time.”] He was hoping that his brother knew he was referring to microbots mystery but was sure he was going to be denied the opportunity regardless. As Hiro had mentioned earlier in the week, he didn’t Tadashi was emotionally ready to visit the University.
[i Urg, I hate that.] Too many rules and hoops to jump through due to his stupid health. The eldest Hamada took in another deep breath before putting down the half drank coffee cup and moving forward to close the window. This time was much easier and he wasn’t sure that was due to Hiro’s presence or not. [#424ef4 “What are you going to do?”] he asked, his voice slightly monotone.
Tadashi seemed more receptive to the coffee than the tea, Hiro watching as he reached for it only a few moments after it was set down. He figured it was due to them fighting and not because the male had a severe preference over one of them. It was a nice feeling to see him happy about the coffee and it gave Hiro the feeling that he was being at least a little helpful.
He didn't argue with Tadashi's instructions, going over to his desk and opening the top drawer to dig around through its contents. His brother was the one with a bit of medical training under his belt and he trusted him far more than any doctor. Hiro knew he had a bottle in his desk somewhere as he had seen it recently but where it ended up was mystery. Carefully he dug through computer parts and light machinery until he found the large white bottle that contained the important medicine. Hiro took two before dropping the bottle back into the drawer, dry swallowing them and pushing it closed with his hip. Chocolate eyes watched Tadashi as he sat with his coffee, absently rubbing at the bruise on his shoulder again. He seemed a lot better now that the two had made up and were on good terms again and he hoped that was true. He didn't want his brother to be putting up a front just to make his little brother think the situation was really okay when it wasn't.
He returned to Tadashi's bed, pulling himself back up at the foot of it in order to give him ample space to stretch out in, and made himself a little bit more comfortable before looking back at his brother. [+red "What are you going to do today?"] he asked quietly.
It made him slightly jump when the door opened again and this time Hiro place a new steaming cup on his bedside table. Coffee did sound amazing but he gave it a minute to cool down but breakfast... Ah he wished Aunt Cass wouldn’t. He wanted it but didn’t and while that made sense to him, he’d know not eating it would probably hurt her feelings. SHe already had that struggle with Hiro.
[#424ef4 “Okay,”] he replied simply, leaning forward to lace his fingers. The elder Hamada kept quiet for a few more seconds before finally leaning across to retrieve the cup. The heat this time was comforting, grounding him safely in the moment and warming his frigid fingers. He had a feeling Baymax would be activating soon and selfishly didn’t want to deal with it.
[#424ef4 “Thank you for the coffee,”] Tadashi spoke, looking over at his brother beside him. [#424ef4 “It helps.”] Again, he noticed Hiro rubbing the shoulder and smiled. [#424ef4 “Go take some ibuprofen for that. It will tone down the soreness.”] He continued to sip the coffee.
Hiro slowly released Tadashi's hand, jumping down from the bed and picking up the cold mug that was still full. Carefully he carried it down the stairs and to the kitchen to set it in the sink for Cass to deal with later, then set his sights on the coffee maker. Making the morning beverage was easy, he had done it hundreds of times even though he never drank it, and knew it would be ready in minutes. He had quite a bit of experience preparing his brother's morning drink and knew exactly how he liked it from the strength of the flavor to how much to sweeten it.
He set the filter into the machine after adding more water and scooped some coffee into it. It was then turned on, the machine grumbling to life, and giving Hiro ample time to prepare Tadashi's cup. It would be nice to see his brother consume something today, especially if he wasn't going to eat breakfast. Speaking of, he could hear his aunt leaving her room and heading down the stairs to start her day by feeding her nephews before readying the cafe. As she turned the corner she greeted Hiro with a smile and pulled down a mug of her own to fill with coffee once he had what he needed.
[b "You're up early, hon,"] she observed softly, setting the mug beside the coffee maker in order to prepare breakfast in the meantime. [b "Is everything okay? How's Tadashi?"]
Hiro glanced over at her then grabbed the coffee pot once it was completely full and the machine had stopped dripping. If only she knew the emotional roller coaster the two had been on since last night. [+red "He's fine, just wanted some coffee."]
[b "Alright, well tell him I'm making his favorite this morning and I'll bring a plate up to him if he doesn't feel like coming down."]
[+red "I will, Aunt Cass."]
He filled her cup up for her before carefully picking up Tadashi's and beginning his journey upstairs. Hiro kept his steps small in order not to spill the hot liquid on himself. A bum shoulder was bad enough, he didn't need to sport second-degree burns to go with it. Carefully he pushed the door open and delivered the hot beverage to Tadashi's table, looking over at him quietly afterwards.
[+red "I was told to tell you that she's making your favorite breakfast and can bring you a plate up,"] he informed him as he lightly rubbed at his sore shoulder. It ached but wasn't bad enough that he couldn't ignore it. [+red "I'm just the messenger, so don't shoot me."]
Tadashi took Hiro’s hand gratefully, the reassurance of someone being there helping his body to calm down. Honestly, despite his brother’s efforts, he was still feeling shaky but his medical knowledge already knew exactly why. [i It was going to take a long while...]
Through his messy thoughts, he vaguely recognised Hiro’s discomfort. Tadashi hoped that he didn’t do anything to extraneous while they were fighting to make it worse. [#424ef4 “Sure,”] he replied. [#424ef4 “Coffee sounds great.”]
He put on a smile as best he could until Hiro left the room, letting his limbs finally loosen. He groaned, feeling every inch of himself burn. With a deep breath, he turned around to close the window but hesitated. While the rain was getting on his sill and bedding, he didn’t feel he was ready to shut it which he figured would be difficult to explain to his brother on exactly why.
[i You’re not trapped. It’s okay.] He took in another breath but let it out too quickly. [i Okay, not yet.]
The elder Hamada scooted back on the bed, just watching the weather bathe the street. It... seemed to make him feel better. The rain, that is.
A faint smile touched Hiro's lips as he watched his brother. It was reassuring to know that what he feared was happening wasn't and that he was just being a moron. The fear of losing his brother a second time hit him hard, that and he decided to partially blame his malnutrition. He thought it was the reason he was doing a lot of dumb things that he couldn't explain and knew he needed to fix it somehow. What that was, though, he still hadn't quite figured out.
The small hand released Tadashi's pants, instead reaching up and lightly taking one of his free hands and holding onto it lightly. He made sure not to use too much pressure in order to cause his brother discomfort but he wanted to be reassuring in some form. Tadashi seemed to need it. He could probably use an extra round of painkillers but he didn't want to push it. [+red "It's okay,"] he answered softly, keeping his light smile. [+red "I know it's going to take a while for you to get back to a semi-normal state. But I'm going to help you."]
He kept hold of his hand, scooting a bit closer in order to lessen some of the strain on his shoulder, and looked up at him again. [+red "Since you didn't drink the tea, do you want coffee instead? It might make you feel a bit better."]
Hiro was quiet and Tadashi hoped that what he said was just enough. The conversation was incredibly heavy and he was already feeling emotionally and physically exhausted just from doing absolutely nothing... but it didn’t keep his new defense mentality from working.
It seemed strange for his brother to be so calm, if anything suddenly compassionate. To him it felt quick, like this should have lasted longer even though, logically, he was aware that everything was going to be okay. But logic and feelings never really lined up right for him anymore.
There was a small tug on his cotton pants and he looked down to meet his brother’s gaze, already feeling a little safer. [#424ef4 “I know and I should be the one saying it to you,”] Tadashi responded quietly back. [#424ef4 “I’m sorry for yelling at you and letting this,”] he gestured to his head, indicating his imbalance, [#424ef4 “Get out of hand.”] If only the heat would leave sooner that would be helpful.
He didn’t want to tell Hiro the things he was really thinking and the things he didn’t do during those nearly ten hours they weren’t talking to each other. Those self destructive habits were not something he wanted to teach his brother.
Those reassuring words almost caused tears of his own to well in his eyes, Hiro blinking them back before they fully formed. It was difficult to admit out loud but he still needed Tadashi, not because he pulled him out of difficult situations but because he was an anchor in Hiro's life. He was the safe space that he could come to when he was upset or hurt and Tadashi would always listen and find a way to make it better. The thought of losing all of that brought the boy's world crashing down and it was something he didn't know if he could recover from.
Hiro slowly walked over to Tadashi's bed, pulling himself up to sit at the foot of it, and watched him quietly for a moment. His brother was so broken, emotionally and physically, and it frustrated Hiro because he had no idea how to fix it. While it would be great to have his brother as fit as he was before the accident he knew it wasn't plausible. He just wanted to help Tadashi deal with this and maybe make him not as miserable in the process.
A small hand reached out, lightly touching his brother's pj pants before his fingers wrapped around it tightly. Hiro wasn't sure when the last time Tadashi took his medication and didn't want to hurt him, finding it safest to grab his clothes instead of putting pressure on his skin. He caused enough damage already this morning and didn't want to add to it. [+red "I'm sorry for overreacting"] he apologized quietly, bringing his gaze up to his curled form. [+red "You know that I love you, right?"]
Hiro looked scared and worried, the anxiety showing across his smaller face and his stature more feeble and awkward. He didn’t feel like he was attacking him but his yelling didn’t at all help. What was he doing?
[#FF0000 "You'll never stop being my hero, Tadashi.”]
No, that’s not what he wanted to hear.
[#FF0000 "I just...I don't want to be without you again...and that's what it sounded like....like you were giving up on me..."]
Tadashi shook his head, dismissing the idea entirely and wiping away the moisture that betrayed him. [i Damn emotional mess.] [#424ef4 “Hiro,”] he choked, [#424ef4 “I will never give up on you... It just...”] [i Feels like too much pressure. I don’t think I can handle it anymore.]
He couldn’t say it. If he said it, he’d be giving up on himself and Hiro didn’t need that from him. Not now. Not when his brother obviously still valued their relationship even after the words they said. He was just too much of a coward.
Tadashi pulled his knees to his chest despite the agonizing sensation that ran up his legs. He needed his space a little smaller, just to feel a little safer. He felt if he would shrink back anymore he might as well just fall out the window. [#424ef4 “I am not giving up on you,”] he repeated, [#424ef4 "I promise."]
It almost felt as if Hiro had been punched in the gut. Hearing Tadashi's voice raise like that made his stomach hurt unbearably and mildly threatened to eject the tea that he had consumed earlier. His eyes had changed, not holding the typical content look they usually did, but instead holding anger and frustration. Fighting with Tadashi almost felt like the world was ending.
The smaller Hamada folded his arms tightly over his chest as he kept his eyes focused on his brother, his grip tightening as he thought about his words. How could Tadashi think those things? No matter what, he would always be a hero to his kid brother. Even now, in his burned up state, he was no less a hero than before he went into that building. It may have been impulsive and stupid but it wasn't something that Hiro ever held against him.
Hiro wanted to yell back at him, to tell him that he was being an idiot and making things worse by acting this way, but he couldn't. Not after he caught the glimmer of tears as he leaned near the window. It did the opposite really, the sight of his brother's tears nearly breaking his heart...because he was the one who caused them.
[+red "You'll never stop being my hero, Tadashi,"] he responded quietly, his arms remaining tight over his chest for a while. They only loosened a bit when the strain in his shoulder caused too much discomfort. [+red "I just...I don't want to be without you again...and that's what it sounded like....like you were giving up on me..."]
But before the elder Hamada could make a quick recovery apology, Hiro retaliated. The words somehow fueling him. Of course Hiro didn’t understand. He took his words yesterday way out of context and just so he could throw his admission back in his face by saying he was [i helping him for once]?
Tadashi finally moved his eyes away from the now cold cup and divider, setting his dark rimmed eyes on his little brother near the door. He hadn’t remembered the last time he felt this upset and it sort of scared him. In the back of his mind he knew he was letting things get out of hand. He should have been the responsible adult. The one to conduct breathing exercises when they did get into arguments back when Hiro was younger- but Tadashi didn’t want to be the parent. Not right now.
He lifted himself to a sitting position, biting back the pain that surged across his skin, clenching his jaw. [#424ef4 “I never said you were on your own,”] he said, trying but slightly failing to keep his voice even. [#424ef4 “I never [i implied] anything like that.”] [i Breathe. You can’t hold it in.]
[#424ef4 “I can definitely try to stop you but then what the hell would all this be about then? It would contradict everything everyone is trying to do. Tadashi has to stay in bed. Tadashi has to be watched. Tadashi can’t be alone by himself.”] He took in a deep breath, feeling warm again in his cheeks. [#424ef4 “I just can’t physically be there to get you out of trouble, Hiro. That’s all I was saying! I can’t be the hero you want me to be anymore!”]
The eldest found himself clenching the sheets, failing to keep his temper down. No this wasn’t what he wanted. He didn’t want to be angry. He didn’t want to be yelling at Hiro. [#424ef4 “I’m sorry I ran into that fire and you have to deal with me like this. I’m sorry you feel you need to help Aunt Cass pay for my mistake that I just make worse.”]
His brain was consumed with guilt again and the heat was getting to that overwhelming cusp like the nightmares or those triggers. Tadashi moved back a bit to be closer to the window and even then, it barely seemed to be helping... and the tears, he couldn’t hold back this time.
Hiro turned to look at his brother, the male's expression having changed. It was rather sorrowful before, now it seemed to have turned rather sour. His brother's emotions seemed to change at the drop of a dime, especially if Hiro had something to do with it, and he wasn't quite sure how to handle that. It was a downfall of being so smart at his age; he could pass a college course with no problem but dealing with people's emotions in such a manner proved to be quite challenging.
Why was Tadashi so upset now? He was the one who informed Hiro that he was basically on his own now and he'd have to learn to deal with it. The miserable feeling of all of this made his stomach churn again, if he had any hope of eating breakfast it had just disappeared. The sound of his voice caused the boy's stomach to become more upset, he hadn't heard his brother use that tone for quite some time. Honestly it made him want to go over and hug him, apologize for all of this, but he couldn't. His body refused to move and his brain refused to cooperate. Either the emotions he was feeling were becoming too much for him to handle or the effects of his depressive eating were coming back to bite him.
Maybe it was both.
[+red "Can't or won't?"] Hiro asked, his voice gaining a bit more volume but was still a bit on the quieter side. His face became a mirror of his emotions, reflecting both agitation and sadness at the situation they had found themselves in. He hated fighting with Tadashi, he always had. [+red "You didn't come right out and say it, but I know what you meant: I'm on my own. I get it. And I probably deserve it. But I was trying to take care of you for once."]
His words caused him to lift his hands to run them through his hair but a sharp pain in his injured shoulder made him instantly drop it back to his side as a faint wince appeared on his features. Damn it, not now. He can't show weakness, not when he's arguing. It's how you lose.
Hiro was right about one thing. He was over-all generally unhappy but it seemed his brother was on a different spectrum of the situation then he was, which moved his mood from gloomy and depressed to upset and offended. That frustrated feeling harbored itself in his chest again, his annoyance he was sure showed on his face but this time he couldn’t control it.
[#424ef4 “I don’t actually recall ever saying I didn’t want you here,”] Tadashi replied, a bite in his tone. [i Calm down.] [#424ef4 “You’re the one who walked out, Hiro, so go ahead. Do it again.”] All he did was share with him a piece of reality. An admission of his own personal weakness. That’s all he had anymore. A long list of new weaknesses. [#424ef4 “Obviously, we both know I can’t do anything to stop you.”]
The pause that followed almost had Tadashi on that bipolar streak again, instantly regretting the words he was saying and wishing he could eat them out of existence. [i Apologize before he leaves. You don’t want to be alone, you idiot.]
All posts are either in parody or to be taken as literature. This is a roleplay site. Sexual content is forbidden.