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/ By AngelEyes- [+Watch]

Replies: 5 / 112 days 17 hours 51 minutes 22 seconds

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  1. [Allowed] -An_Dulra


[center [pic https://i.imgur.com/IU4EIrJ.jpg]][center [font "Nyala" This is my personal journal. You are welcome to read, just keep your comments to yourself unless I know you. Thank you. Toodles. ~Angel~]]

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Roleplay Responses

[center [pic https://i.imgur.com/uW1W2Y4.gif]][google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Kurale][kurale [center July 10th 2019.]]

[google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Kurale][kurale [center So much has happened, I honestly don't know how to wrap my head around it. I've been fighting to hold myself together, but I can't.. I can't catch a fucking break, and here's why. While I was off work for two weeks a cousin landed in the hospital because he was in a motorcycle accident, he's been home for awhile now, but still. I had another funeral to attend cause I found out about a day after that, that an aunt passed away. So that Thursday while Mom and I were out, our check engine light came on.]]

[google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Kurale][kurale [center We took the car to the shop, and our AWD Malfunction came on as well. So it was blinking between that, and the check engine light. Found out the part we needed is over $400 dollars. So my two weeks off was horrible. I was glad I was off when it all happened, but still. I honestly feel like I'm losing myself.. I'm not as bubbly as I used to be, and work's been fucking horrible. I had to file a sexual harassment statement on a cashier I'm over.]]

[google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Kurale][kurale [center People at work have noticed I'm not myself either. I honestly don't know what the fuck to do. I snapped on this same cashier, and another one called and bitched our Assistant Manager out yesterday. Bitch no. You take 2 to 2 in a half hour lunches, and expect to have your break right when you get back? No, it doesn't work like that honey. I'm seriously to the point where I wanna shut down, and just vanish for a couple of months. No contact with anyone at all, maybe then I'll really see who's there for me.]]

[google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Kurale][kurale [center With all of this shit piling on top of me, I'm surprised I haven't had another melt down. I'm done.. I'm to the point where I don't care anymore.. I just need a good mental break down, and maybe I'll be okay.. Who really knows these days.. Just don't be surprised if I don't talk to anyone for awhile.. I just need to wrap my head around a lot of things, and then I should be able to come back to normal.. I don't know if it'll be worth it though..]]

[google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Kurale][kurale [right ~Mentally Checked Out~]]
  AngelEyes- / 10d 2m 18s
[center [pic https://i.imgur.com/ZgzsC8s.gif]][google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Kurale][kurale [center June 19th 2019.]]

[google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Kurale][kurale [center [b I'M FUCKING ENGAGED.] I honestly don't know what to think about it. The look on his face when he asked me over video chat was amazing. The way he looks at me, the way he tells me he loves me, I feel like I'm walking on air. I know what people might think, I just left a really shitty relationship back in February, and people might think I'm moving too fast. Well I'm not. I've known Justin for the last 5+ years now, and I'm surprised he never asked me before.]]

[google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Kurale][kurale [center Even though we hadn't talked for almost two years, he was always on my mind. I always wondered how he was doing, and if he was doing okay. When I messaged him on Snapchat, was the best choice I ever made. He gave me his new phone number and we have been talking ever since. I haven't smiled this much in months. I haven't felt like this in months. I know he's clear out in Florida, but I'm working on getting to him. He's working on getting to me too. Whoever makes it to the other first I guess.]]

[google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Kurale][kurale [center I'm honestly the luckiest female in the world. I didn't think the one person I truly thought hated me, would still want me. He calls me everyday, we video chat three to four times a day, or whenever I can, and we just text throughout the day. Yes things sometimes get rocky, but we fight through it together. I can't wait to see what our future holds baby. I can't wait to finally be in your bed, holding you, cuddling up against you, and just holding you. Here's to the start of our new life together.]]

[google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Kurale][kurale [right ~Truly, Madly, Deeply~]]
  AngelEyes- / 30d 19h 57m 13s
[center [pic https://imgur.com/7y1aiBI.gif]][google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Kurale][kurale [center May 19th 2019.]]

[google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Kurale][kurale [center No matter how many times you treat me like shit, I end up finding you again, and trying to talk to you. You honestly don't understand that your life isn't the only thing that's falling apart. Yeah I know you have your issues, but have you asked me how I've been doing? No. Have you asked how my life has been? No. You remove me from shit for no reason, because I don't wanna talk to you when you wanna talk. My job drains me, and you don't seem to understand that.]]

[google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Kurale][kurale [center You tried telling me your sister does more than me. Sweetheart, no she doesn't. Does she run the front end? Does she do Customer Service? Does she Cashier? No. I can understand she has a child, but I don't. Because of that I have more shit to deal with. You are always trying to make yourself look better. You don't give a rats ass about how other's are doing. You always make yourself out to be the bad guy. You say you were being an adult and walking away, sorry sweetheart but no you weren't.]]

[google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Kurale][kurale [center Maybe instead of running away, you talk to me like an adult. Instead of calling me a God damn child. No. Sometimes you have to man up and talk about what's bothering you, instead of running away every time. I tried letting you back into my life, and now I can't. I really fucking can't. You really don't fucking care, and this time I'm done. I tried talking to you like an adult last night, and for what? Just to be told you were walking away from someone who's nothing but [i drama], and someone who's not [i good] for you.]]

[google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Kurale][kurale [center Well sweetheart, this time you fucked up. You fucked up so much that I'm finally done with you. Don't try contacting me again. Because I'm not gonna answer. I reached out to you to mend something broken, and for what? Just to get broken again myself.. I'm done.. You are pretty much dead to me now.. Goodbye, and good luck in life. You really did push someone who cared away from you. I hope you are happy about that.]]

[google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Kurale][kurale [right ~Walk Away~]]
  AngelEyes- / 62d 5h 20m 56s
[center [pic https://imgur.com/3KxVPPx.gif]][google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Kurale][kurale [center May 1st 2019.]]

[google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Kurale][kurale [center You know what, I'm done. I'm fucking done with you. You were the one who messaged me first, you were the one who chose to even talk to me, and now you don't wanna do the long distance thing anymore? Well, at least [i one] of us was busting our ass so we could see each other this summer. Well sweetheart, you lost that chance. You lost every fucking chance with me. So it's a good thing I'm not talking to you, because it's honestly pushed me back to [i Justin].]]

[google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Kurale][kurale [center The one person who's always had my back. The one person who's always had faith in me, and the one person who doesn't give a flying fuck about distance. I know I'm gonna look bad, but no one realizes the shit I've been through. Yeah, I was talking to him while talking to you, and he paid more attention to me in the end than you did. Yeah you made me smile, and made me feel giddy, and would call me, but when you didn't talk to me, or call me like you said you would, [i Justin] was there.]]

[google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Kurale][kurale [center I forgot how much I cared about [i Justin] in the first place. God I've been so fucking blind.. I really have been. I need to just stop, and focus on the people who have been there for me.. I know I've been silent the last 6+ days, but I've been dealing with work, and dealing with trying to figure everything out. I'm not ignoring my loves, and if I am, I am truly sorry about that.. I'm not meaning too, just a lot's been going on. You all are amazing, and wonderful to me. Please don't be mad at me..]]

[google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Kurale][kurale [center I promise I'll be more active. I just need to get my head wrapped around a couple of things, and then I'll be okay. Or at least I hope I'll be okay.. Who the fuck knows anymore. Just know, that when I give up on you, I fully give up on you. I'm not that kinda person, but when I'm to the point where no one wants to fight for me anymore, then I won't fight for you. I have a man who's fighting like hell for me, and maybe I should give him a shot. Maybe this time it'll work out.]]

[google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Kurale][kurale [right ~Moving On/Letting Go~]]
  AngelEyes- / 80d 17h 55m 32s
[center [pic https://imgur.com/5ktblyw.gif]][google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Kurale][kurale [center April 24th 2019.]]

[google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Kurale][kurale [center Yes, I'm finally on the Game of Thrones band wagon.. I'm slowly making my way through the first season as we speak. People told me it was slow as shit, and they were right about it. I'm not gonna lie, I wasn't in the mood to start it, but it's slowly picking up. My favorite people right now are Daenerys and Drogo, the way he looks her just makes my heart melt.. The way he looks at her, and touches her, and how he's now gentle with her, just makes me want that kind of love, and passion for the rest of my life.]]

[google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Kurale][kurale [center Moving onto something else now. I've been so busy with work, and it's hella draining.. I go to work, bust my ass, come home and just pretty much die until I go back and do it all over again. I don't know why it's been so draining, but it is. At least my love at work is there for the most part. She's like my soulmate, no we aren't dating, she's not bi-sexual, she's married for crying out loud, but I feel like I found my soulmate in her. My best friend, the looks we give to each other, and know what's going on right away.]]

[google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Kurale][kurale [center She makes my days so much fucking better. I honestly don't know what I would do without her. She even told me Tuesday, that she feels like she's found her soulmate best friend too. Maybe we have, who knows. Moving onto something else. Things with Ty are going pretty good. Yeah, we had a small bump in the road, where we didn't talk for almost a week, but we are getting back to that now. We even talked about me just up and moving out there, starting over somewhere new, and just forgetting the pain from here.]]

[google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Kurale][kurale [center I don't know what I'm even thinking right now. My head is spinning, my heart is racing, and all I wanna do is just curl up, forget the world, and forget that I even exist right now. Game of Thrones is what's gonna keep my attention until I talk to Ty again in the morning. Oh, Shirley and I are gonna be spending time together, and I honestly can't wait.]]

[google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Kurale][kurale [right ~Feeling Wonderful~]]
  AngelEyes- / 86d 19h 14m 2s
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