Naufragium

/ By Rede [+Watch]

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[Philosopher [right [size20 Troy ]
[right May 13,2019]]
[hr]
[Cousine I don't know how to explain it exactly, but every time I am with you everything else just melts away. I want to spend every day, every night, every second with you by my side.
It is insane, or maybe I am.
But you came into my life and then became it.
and I love every second with you in it.
  Rigbee / Rede / 10d 1h 26m 17s
[Center [pic https://i.imgur.com/DMI4ERx.jpg?1]]
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[center [+white Always the villain.
Don't want my help? Fine. I will find someone who does.
Treat me like a Monster, only capable of monstrous deeds. Fine.
I have the makings of a stitch, I have the fixings for a fire.
I'll give you something to repair. I will make the dreams come true.
I have...no. I am nightmare fuel. ]]


[center [size28 [b [alex+brush -Kuwick was here. again]]]
  Rede / 17d 7h 9m 34s
[Center [pic https://i.imgur.com/DMI4ERx.jpg?1]]
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[center [size28 [b [alex+brush -Kuwick was here.]]]
  Rede / 50d 7h 19m 11s
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[Philosopher [right [size20 Lucas ]
[right April 1,2019]]
[hr]

[Cousine Coast is clear...for now. Everything with the unseelie is unsettling but my ex being in the same house as me shook me even harder. Funny how things hit people in different ways. It'll be okay. I'll figure it out.
[size8 [+white my hands wont shaking. I feel sick and angry. I have to do something, but I can't do anything.]]
  R. / Rede / 52d 6h 29m 48s
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[Philosopher [right [size20 Raphael Marcella]
[right March 21,2019]]
[hr]
[center [Cousine I do not believe there is a word powerful enough to fully describe how much I am dreading going back to the apartment complex. If I could trade places with someone for those moments when I walk up to the third floor and knock on that door. I would give anything to do so.
I pride myself on professionalism, on the calm of my inner storm but here I am hands shaking and stomach turning.
I honestly, truly and whole-heartily do not want to do this. ]]
  ... / Rede / 63d 1h 49m 55s
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[Philosopher [right [size20 Weston Rigbee]
[right March 14,2019]]
[hr]

[Cousine shit. What did I do? I fucked up. I fucked up hard. This is all too complicated. One thing lead to the other. I pinned it on Houston who snitched on me. Then I pinned it on Houston trying to pin it on me. But Mitch saw me with them. The cops were coming. I saw the way he was looking at everything. He wanted them. He wanted a taste. I know that look. I had that look. I was going to quench that look if Mitchell didn't run into me. Fuck I am so dead. Mitch won't snitch though. He will take the fall. I think I have to let him. Fuck. I can't stop thinking about it. I want to... Im going to. It's killing me. It's killing I him I need to fix this. But I can't think with out them.

Fuck it I am the disappointment anyways right? Right.
I am done trying. I will play by the old rules. Won't force you but won't stop you either. I can't do this. I need sleep. I need a drink, I need a hit, a pull, a anything really. I can't do what I'm supposed to with out doing what I'm not supposed to.
I don't know what to do. ]
  Rede / 70d 3h 53m 44s
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[Philosopher [right [size20 Cody Phillips]
[right March 7,2019]]
[hr]

Here I am. I am here, I am in a big sort of mess, but I am here. I don't know what to do. I miss my family. I miss my home. But I am here with someone who makes me unbelievably happy.

I watch the neighbor girl and her I think boyfriend maybe, a little disorientated but happy nonetheless.

As odd as this is, it is like I am being rewarded for being a liar, and a fraud. It feels wrong and I know I am guilty. But every time I look at that red hair, those eyes that guilt melts away for a moment. It pulls back like the tide of the waters of this shore that greets me every morning.

I am so lost but so free. I worry for my family though. I wonder about them and my friends, but it's only in the times I find myself alone even if it is just for a moment.

I was set free, but given no instructions on what to do. I am so conflicted. I am happy but I know I shouldn't be. Is that wrong? To be happy even though you know you are guilty?
  Etc. / Rede / 77d 3h 17m 21s
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[Philosopher [right [size20 Mitchell Rigbee]
[right March 3,2019]]
[hr]

[Cousine I can't keep doing this, every time I turn around it is something.I see my father going through hell. I can't help but blame myself. I need something different. If I stay I hurt him. If I leave I hurt him. I don't know what to do besides sleep as much as I can for as long as I can. It is the only way not to hurt anyone. I can't say I want to die, because I don't necessarily want that. I just want to stop hurting people.

I've been hurting people since I was a kid. It's what I guess I am meant to do.

I had a conversation with a girl I could have really liked. Well It was more of me yelling at her because I don't know why. I didn't want to it's just how it came out. She left crying, and I woke up humiliated.
So yeah. I think I am just going to stay in bed. It's safer that way. A way to disappear without leaving.
  Etc. / Rede / 79d 6h 17m 58s
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