Lost

/ By d1gn17y [+Watch]

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[right [pic http://i.imgur.com/gb7q260.jpg]] Jobe took hold of Fletcher quickly and was completely taken with him. He was full of so much love. He knew that he had love for them before they were even born but this was a different feeling entirely. He would protect his children no matter the cost but for now he would just love them completely. He held up his hand his son tried to grip at it…it would be some time yet before he could grip anything but the attempts were cute enough.

He laughed and looked up at Anastasia and nodded. [b “I think we are going to be great parents. I know we talked about asking Willow and Justin to be God parents but I think it might be best to wait for a little while. They will love them like their own…I know it but…now is not the right time.”]

[left [pic http://i.imgur.com/R9bcGpC.jpg]] As expected, Justin was by her side like a shot, helping her to her feet so that she did not hurt herself or expend too much energy. She was a little stiff in comparison to the day before, her skin painting with a few bruises from where the wooden structure had fallen on her. Willow looked pale too but that was a lot to do with the miscarriage. She looked up at Justin and nodded. A bath was definitely needed.

With his help, she made her way towards the bathroom so that she could bathe and she listened to him talking about food and water. She didn’t care about any of that but she knew Justin was just taking care of her. Her appetite was nonexistent but she was not selfish enough to make herself ill and worry Justin further. [b “After I have a bath.”]
  ~Lost~ / d1gn17y / 6d 6h 12m 4s
Anastasia looked to Jobe and smiled a little. She passed their son to him and nodded,
“They certainly don’t have any problems with their lungs.” She giggled a little as she sat back down with their daughter.
“Thank you.” She said to him and watched him for a while with their son.

“Fatherhood suits you, as well.” She murmured quietly. She smiled a little.
“I don’t think I could picture you without children.” She said quietly and she couldn’t wait for them to be old enough to run around in the ground with their father while she watched and stole a few moments of just watching them.


_

Justin looked to Willow and got up almost immediately. He put an arm around her and helped her stand.
“Just take it easy.” He said quietly and watched her. She needed to eat and drink.
“Do you want another bath?” He asked her quietly. A hot bath might release her right muscles and soothe some of the physical hurt.

“And some water and food, you need to eat and drink, Willow.” He encouraged her quietly as he supported her light frame. He was scared she would pass out or faint or breakdown and he didn’t know how to cope right then except to just be strong.
  Anastasia Bell / Nullification / 6d 6h 21m 54s
[right [pic http://i.imgur.com/gb7q260.jpg]] Jobe smiled towards Anastasia as she sat in the chair cradling their son. [b “Motherhood suits you.”] He said as he neared her and placed a kiss on her lips before glancing over at Juliet. [b “They really are perfect.”] He said, wanting nothing more than to hold his daughter but he would not disturb her sleep.

[b “One of the staff have gone into town this morning to get us another crib so they can sleep separately. They grow quickly and I don’t want them to find themselves struggling for space.”] Jobe settled himself onto the bed. Whilst Willow and Justin were in their thoughts he did not wish to talk about that just yet. For now he wanted to enjoy his family, no matter how selfish that might have been.

[left [pic http://i.imgur.com/R9bcGpC.jpg]] Justin had managed to avoid waking Willow but the final sharp pain and release of blood from her miscarriage woke her with a haste. She was breathing heavy, almost as though she had woken up from a nightmare and when she looked down to see the blood she was reminded that she had not had a nightmare…everything came rushing back and she looked up towards Justin who was still next to her on the bed.

She had been expecting this but it didn’t make it any easier. She moved herself around on the bed and tried to climb up herself, knowing that Justin would likely be at her side in a second to help her stand. Willow just wanted this to be over.
  ~Lost~ / d1gn17y / 6d 6h 32m 3s
Anastasia sighed softly and she nodded.
“You’re right.” She murmured and felt his kiss as she relaxed back. She was still going to worry for Justin and Willow but every part of her was a mother now and she had to prioritise her own children. She would help where she could but she had to make sure her children and husband were looked after first. Besides, falling into a depression would only draw more attention. If they kept everything normal Willow and Justin would find normality a lot easier.

Anastasia couldn’t resist the pull of sleep though. Her body was exhausted and the twins were sleeping soundly.

The twins woke her a few times but mostly they just wanted a feed. In the morning, she was sat in the arm chair by the bed, with her and Jobe’s son in her arms whilst his sister slept in the cot.

_

Justin watched her fall asleep and sighed out. He didn’t move all night, he just stayed with her, willing her to be alright. He held her close through the night before he eventually succumbed to sleep.

He woke with a start in the morning, sitting up a little and being careful to try and not wake Willow. He sighed and rubbed at his face. Yesterday- why them? Why did it have to be them? And there was some sort of anger at the world because they had lost a child yet Anastasia and Jobe welcomed two into the world. He wasn’t good at grief, it came out as anger towards the wrong people.
  Anastasia Bell / Nullification / 6d 6h 48m 19s
[right [pic http://i.imgur.com/gb7q260.jpg]] Jobe nodded and slid into the bed next to her, pulling her close to him as if to protect her from the thoughts that she might have been thinking about now. [b “Time is exactly what they need and in time, it will get easier for them but we cannot let this plague us too much. We have two small children to look after now and we are not in a position to put everything on hold.”] He said softly, it may have been a harsh approach but they couldn’t allow themselves to fall into a depression. They would not be fit to look after their children if they allowed that to happen.

[b “There is not much we can do but wait…”] He said softly as he placed a kiss on Anastasia’s cheek, brushing a hair from her face. Even after giving birth and showing exhaustion she was still beautiful.

[left [pic http://i.imgur.com/R9bcGpC.jpg]] Regardless of Justin telling her that everything was alright, she felt far from it and she knew that she would continue to blame herself until she could start to heal properly. Willow couldn’t even imagine a time where she would want to leave this room but she knew that in time it would come. The only thing that made sense to her right then was the feel of Justin next to her and the scent of him. Nothing else in the world would have been able to calm her.

Eventually, the feel of him next to her coaxed her back to sleep and her breathing started to level out. It would take some time to heal but they had plenty of that to spare. He had saved her life which meant that they would be able to repair their broken hearts and some point and try for a family in the future.
  ~Lost~ / d1gn17y / 6d 7h 28m 22s
Anastasia looked to Jobe and sighed. She knew he was right and even if she did go to Willow, she would be distraught and that would be no good for either of them.
“We’ll give them space, and time to recover.” She couldn’t imagine losing a child and right then she could only imagine the grief and the pain the two were going through. Anastasia sank into the pillows a little, her body relaxing.

Anastasia watched the twins and honestly, if anything happened to them she would be beside herself. She wasn’t sure what she would do, and for Willow to lose a child and not be able to stop it... it made her blood run cold and Willow was as a sister to her, it killed her to know she could not help. She wasn’t sure anyone could help in all honesty, nothing could bring back a lost child.

_

Justin hushed her gently,
“It’s alright.” He said to her softly.
“It’s alright, Willow, really.” He whispered to her softly and gave her hand a squeeze.
“Just rest.” He encouraged her gently. He let her rest her head on his chest and stroked her hair. He knew she was hurting, he knew she was in pain more severe than just physical. His mind was whirring away at a thousand miles an minute.

It wasn’t the end of the world, Willow was still alive and breathing. He could have lost her too, if he hadn’t gone out in time she would have been buried under the fiery rubble. And they had lost a child but he didn’t want Willow to follow suit.
  Anastasia Bell / Nullification / 6d 7h 43m 13s
[right [pic http://i.imgur.com/gb7q260.jpg]] Jobe nodded when he saw the realisation upon her face. It was terrible news for all of them but to know that a friend had lost a child when you have just become parents was probably one of the hardest emotions Jobe had ever felt. He was happy, guilty, sad and angry all at once and it was hard to try and sort through them.

Jobe reached out and placed his hand on Anastasia’s arm and sighed softly. [b “I don’t know. Justin just came to give me an update. He looked awful and I can imagine that the two of them are dealing with a lot right now…I couldn’t imagine…”] He shook his head, not wanting to think about it. Jobe looked up at his tired wife. [b “You are not going anywhere. You need to rest and they need time. When they are ready, they will come to us.”] He said, hoping that they would sooner rather than later and that this tragedy had not put a rift between them.

[left [pic http://i.imgur.com/R9bcGpC.jpg]] Willow sighed and relaxed in Justin. Every part of her wanted to go to Anastasia and check that she was alright and that the babies were fine but she was not strong enough to let herself face that yet. She was also still going through the process of a miscarriage and knew she needed to stay in bed. Willow locked her tired eyes with his and saw the distress with in them. She had no doubt that he had been crying and she wished that she hadn’t been the cause of such upset.

She nodded, accepting that she should stop worrying and focus on them. She took his hand and sighed. [b “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I wasn’t sure until a couple of days ago.”] She said as she shook her head. [b “I’m sorry for everything.”] Willow closed her eyes and allowed her head to rest on his chest.
  ~Lost~ / d1gn17y / 6d 11h 40m 2s
Anastasia looked to Jobe when he came back in.
“Was pregnant? So she-“ Anastasia put her hand over her mouth. Anastasia was smarter than she looked and she felt her heart plummet.
“Oh- Willow.” She whispered and leant back. She wanted nothing more than to go to the woman but she knew she couldn’t. Willow needed time.

“Are they alright?” She asked Jobe quietly as she looked at them. She couldn’t believe it.
“I should go... see her.” She murmured and rubbed her face. She was exhausted and in no fit state to be walking anywhere right that moment and she knew her and Justin needed time. She looked to Jobe and honestly what a tragedy and it seemed too cruel to be true.

_

Justin looked to Willow and sighed softly.
“Hey, Shh.” He could see she had been panicked.
“I just checked. She’s fine.” He hushed her softly to stop her worrying and lay beside her.
“Her babies are fine. I think.” He hadn’t looked but Jobe would have said something if something had gone wrong.

“Willow just please, relax a moment. Don’t worry about anyone else, alright?” He said and he had cried earlier so he could be strong again until it got too much and then he would take another private moment but he had to be there for her.
  Anastasia Bell / Nullification / 6d 19h 34m 1s
[right [pic http://i.imgur.com/gb7q260.jpg]] Jobe nodded towards Justin as he spoke. It was clear that not knowing about her pregnancy made this harder to tell with. Losing something you never knew you had always seemed to be harder to deal with although he was sure Willow hadn’t kept it from him on purpose. She was probably waiting for the right time to tell him.

[b “You both need time...take it. Don’t worry about anything else.”] He said as he watched him move back towards his room. What awful news. He took a deep breath and sighed before entering the room. There was no way he could mask what he was feeling and the devastation of the news. [b “Willow...”] How did he tell his wife that her friend, sister even, had lost a baby on the very same day that she had given birth to two. [b “Please don’t get upset...Willow was pregnant...but the fire...”]


[left [pic http://i.imgur.com/R9bcGpC.jpg]] Willow slept for several hours. She barely even stirred. Her body had been screaming out for some rest to cope with the trauma that she had been through. Her eyes flickered open and when she didn’t she Justin straight away she started to panic. She sat up instantly and allowed her eyes to dart around the room and found her sat next to her near the bed rather than on it. She sighed and seemed to relax a little know that he was there. [b “Please tell me it was all a dream?”] She knew that it wasn’t.

She looked down at her stomach, the soft swell still evident and she blinked back tears, not wanting to cry again. [b “Anastasia...her baby...”] It was painful to ask but she needed to know that they were okay. [b “Is she angry that I wasn’t there with her?”] Her priorities were all wrong but she cared about her friend and she was still so confused by everything.
  ~Lost~ / d1gn17y / 6d 19h 43m 15s
Justin watched Jobe and honestly he didn’t know if he would need anything.
“She didn’t tell me I-“ he cut off. Now was not the time when Jobe had his wife and two beautiful babies inside waiting for him.
“Willow needs.... time. I don’t know.” He said and offered a rather pitiful smile of gratitude.
“Thanks. I gotta- with willow.” He murmured. It was clear his mind was going a million miles an hour and he wasn’t sure how to cope.

He scurried back to Willows side and just sat at her side in the bed. He wouldn’t sleep. Not until he knew Willow was alright. He sighed and stroked her hair gently, just being with her. He wasn’t sure how they would get through this but he just prayed they would.


_

Anastasia was worried because something was definitely wrong. She glanced to the door and then back to her children. There had been a fire? She was glad she hadn’t been out there but poor Willow. What if she was dead?

Anastasia struggled to sit up again and was close to getting out of bed when she heard Justin leave and she sighed. She was always irritated with being left out, even though she didn’t know why. Right then she just wanted to know that she was alright. Something was very wrong.
  Anastasia Bell / Nullification / 6d 19h 57m 39s
[left [pic http://i.imgur.com/R9bcGpC.jpg]] If Willow didn’t have Justin in that moment she knew that she would never make it through any of this and she knew that in a couple of days time she would feel awful that she didn’t allow him the chance to grieve with her because she was so broken. But this is what was promised when they made vows to each other over a year ago. They promised that they would be there for each other regardless of the situation and they would be each other’s rock. Right now he was hers.

She had heard Justin telling her that they would get through it and they would, but right now it seemed impossible. Willow leaned in to Justin until the tears subsided once more and before she knew it, the tea had taken effect and the fatigue from the accident and the miscarriage carried her into a sleep. It would hardly be a restful day or evening for either off them but for now she was peaceful and she was getting some much needed rest, giving Justin the chance to be alone.

[right [pic http://i.imgur.com/gb7q260.jpg]] Jobe shook his head and shrugged his shoulders ready to part his lips in response but there was a knock at the door. Justin appeared around it and honestly he looked awful. It was clear that something bad had happened and his mind instantly went to the worse case scenario. Perhaps something terrible had happened to Willow, perhaps she had not made it. He looked back to Anastasia for a moment as if asking for permission to leave her and when she granted it he did not hesitate to leave the room.

He closed the door behind him to give Justin the privacy he obviously needed and looked at him with concern. Something bad [i had] happened. Hearing the words [i was pregnant] already told him everything he needed to know. The accident had caused Willow to miscarry, he was sure of it and he didn’t know how to react. If that had been Anastasia he would have been devastated. He reached out an arm and placed it on his shoulder. [b “Justin...I’m so sorry...I...”] Who knew the right words to say in this situation. [b “Of course, take all the time you need.”] He said. It would be a difficult time in this house. One couple celebrating the birth of two beautiful children while the other mourned the loss of their unborn child. [b “Is there anything you need...is Willow...? Of course not...if you need anything please do not hesitate to ask.”]
  ~Lost~ / d1gn17y / 6d 20h 8m 4s
Justin watched her as tears fell from her eyes and it crushed him to see her like this but he had to be so strong right now. For her.
“Shh.” He said and got into bed beside her, lying on top of the covers with her as he wrapped his arms around her. He wanted to cry too but he couldn’t. He had to be strong. He watched her as he just held her tightly to him. They would get through this.

“We can get through this, Willow.” He whispered to her softly, stroking her back softly and just soothing her until the tea took effect.

Once she was settled, he left her for a moment to step outside as he leant against the wall. Then his own tears came, his hand over his mouth as he drew in shaky breaths and desperately tried to keep himself together. After several minutes, he straightened up and wiped her face. He had to tell Jobe.

He quietly walked to the door and knocked on it before entering.
“Sorry-“ he didn’t even look at the babies because how could he?
“Jobe... a word. Quickly I won’t take up your time.” He said flatly.

He looked to Jobe when they were outside.
“Willow- She was pregnant. I didn’t know she...” he drew in a breath.
“The baby came away, the smoke and fire-“ he cut off. He wasn’t being clear.
“We lost the baby. She’ll need some time and I think I do, too? I don’t know.” He explained.


_

Anastasia listened and stared at Jobe.
“Are they alright? Is Willow okay-“ she cut off as the door opened and she looked at Justin. He looked like Hell and she was worried. She noticed how flat he was and how he ignored her children.
“Go.” She said to Jobe quietly. She sat up slightly and rubbed her face. Something must have happened because Justin’s bloodshot eyes hinted at his tears.

Anastasia looked to her two beautiful children as they slept. Fletcher was squirming and soon was crying and she lifted him out,
“You will wake your sister.” She whispered softly. She let him settle in her arms as he fussed and squirmed. She gave him a feed before settling him back down with his sister and watching them both.
  Anastasia Bell / Nullification / 6d 20h 23m 51s
[left [pic http://i.imgur.com/R9bcGpC.jpg]] She watched as he placed some towels down on the bed in hope that they might be able to avoid ruining more sheets. Justin helped her towards the bed and she hated herself for not being stronger. She was not the only one going through this and she was so used to being the strong one and now...she was weak.

Willow lowered herself onto the bed and sat still for a moment. It was clear that Justin wanted her to sleep but she was so unsure that she would be able to. Still she allowed him to push her back slightly so that she was lying down and she took the tea from him, knowing that he would just keep giving it to her if she didn’t have any. To appease him she drank the tea, sipping on it slowly at first before finishing it off. She didn’t know it yet but it would help calm her and it would help her sleep.

Willow placed the empty cup next to the bed and stared up at the ceiling for a moment before a wave of unexpected tears started to fall once more. All she wanted was for Justin to hold her and tell her that she had imagined it all, that she had not lost their baby.

[right [pic http://i.imgur.com/gb7q260.jpg]] Jobe sighed at her insistence. He didn’t want to lie to her, nor did he want to upset her so he was stuck between the right and the wrong thing to do. He looked over to the twins, both seeming to have fallen asleep in the comfort for their cot. He made a mental note to send into town for another the very next day.

[b “Very well but you cannot get upset. You need to rest so we can take care of our children and I don’t want the mother of our children stressed.”] He looked at her expectantly, hoping that she would be able to cope with this.

[b “There was a fire in the stables. Willow was in there at the time and ... I think she got stuck in there. I went out to find them...I was so frustrated that they were taking too long...and when I got out there Willow was unconscious laying in the snow and Justin was cradling her.”] He shook his head as he remembered the scene and now he couldn’t help but wonder how they were both doing. They didn’t even know if Willow was hurt.
  ~Lost~ / d1gn17y / 6d 20h 39m 14s
Justin sighed softly.
“I know.” He said as he put some towels on the bed.
“But please, just lie down.” He soothes softly as he pushed her to gently lie back and he watched her. He was worried honestly, he was grieving for something he never even knew he had. He stroked some hair back from her face and sighed.

“I’ll sit with you. I’m not going anywhere.” He assured him. He watched her and offered her the tea.
“Please, Willow.” He said to her. If she would sleep, they may well sleep through most of the miscarriage if he was lucky. He hadn’t even known she was carrying his baby! They’d lost a child together, how had that happened. He knew Willow was going to have some bruises in time but hopefully the hot bath had helped.


_

“Jobe I know that tone.” Anastasia said softly as she looked to the twins with soft eyes.
“Please. What’s happened? You wouldn’t be like this if there wasn’t something.” She whispered to him and sat up a little. Her body was still sore and she was tired but all of her instincts were telling her to watch her babies and see to their every need.

“Talk to me. I can’t go anywhere or do anything for tonight, I’m stuck, too sore.” She explained to him and watched him. She sighed quietly and guessed he didn’t want her to worry but she would worry more that it was something she didn’t know about.
  Anastasia Bell / Nullification / 6d 20h 51m 36s
[left [pic http://i.imgur.com/R9bcGpC.jpg]] She just stood staring for a moment and barely noticed that Justin had left her for a minute to get someone to change the sheets. When her bath was ready he helped her undress and climb in. It was a strange feeling…almost as though she was completely numb to everything around her. She was almost robotic. Willow was lucky to have Justin be there for her and act strong for her because she was sure that she was falling apart.

She looked up at him through sore eyes and shrugged. [b “I don’t know. Everything feels numb.”] She said honestly, not knowing whether she had been cut or bruised in any way. She barely even looked up at the woman entered the room with some tea for her. Tea would not bring her baby back.

She barely spoke as Justin helped clean away the remnants of blood and soot but allowed him to help her out of the bath and towards the bed. [b “The bleeding won’t be over…”] She said quietly as she placed a hand on her stomach feeling another sharp pain. Losing a baby was painful in more than one way.

[right [pic http://i.imgur.com/gb7q260.jpg]] Jobe smiled with her as the marvelled over their children for a moment. [b “And you did wonderfully bringing them into the world.”] He said. There was something amazing about childbirth that he would never understand but he knew that she was strong for being able to get through it. Jobe handed her Juliet as she started to place them in the cot and he shook his head. The last thing he wanted to do was upset Anastasia now.

[b “Oh…don’t worry yourself about it dear. It was nothing.”] He said, purposely ignoring the question about Justin and Willow because he honestly didn’t know how to answer, and he certainly did not know what they were going through while they were being graced with the blessing of parenthood. [b “How are you feeling?”] His attempt at changing the topic of conversation.
  ~Lost~ / d1gn17y / 6d 21h 4m 54s
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