Lost

/ By d1gn17y [+Watch]

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[left [pic http://i.imgur.com/R9bcGpC.jpg]] Willow smiled up at Justin and let out a quiet laugh. It had been the first time in a week she had showed anything but sadness. It was a nice change and it showed her that things were on the up. [b “It’s definitely a honour to have them named after us...”] His kiss against her temple roused another smile and she nodded in understanding. It was something they had both felt but things were not feeling as severe as they had a week ago. [b “As long as we are here for each other. That will be enough.”]

When she felt something cold fall on her face she looked up towards the sky and noticed that there was a fresh layer of snow about to join the layer that already covered the floor. [b “I still want to stay out here...”] She said quickly, worried that he might force her back inside so she didn’t get sick. [b “I happen to like the snow and it’s been such a long time since we took a romantic walk around the lake.”] She squeezed his hand gently and started to walk, her feet crunching on the snow as they did.

[right [pic http://i.imgur.com/gb7q260.jpg]] Jobe nodded as he placed her hand on Anastasia’s shoulder. [b “I know you do. I miss them both too. Maybe today was the start of getting them back. I know you miss Willow and I know that she misses you too but she had needed Justin to help her get through their loss. She will come back to you. You are sisters remember.”] He said with a smile and he let out a sigh.

[b “I miss Justin too. More than I realised. It’s strange how you miss the small things. Our children will know their God parents. I have no doubt about that. I can’t imagine what is must be like to lose a child just as another...two are born at the same time...”] He smiled at the way Fletcher reacted to his mother’s touch and he squeezed her shoulder. [b “They will love them as much as us. I promise.”]
  ~Lost~ / d1gn17y / 5d 23h 2m 21s
Justin looked to Willow and smiled a little.
“I feel the same. Fletcher and Juliet though.... good names right?” He laughed a little. It sounded so awkward but he was appreciative of the sentiment behind Anastasia and Jobe naming their first children after them. He was fine, he was holding it together because he knew in time, that they would get back to normal or at least he hoped so.

“I’m alright. It’s just... a lot to take in.” He murmured as he kissed her temple gently and watched as snow began to fall from the sky and he smiled.
“Figures.” He whispered. As soon as they stepped outside it snowed. Maybe it was a good symbol for a fresh start? A fresh coat of snow, a blank canvas. He could only hope.


_

Anastasia looked to Jobe and nodded.
“I hope so. I miss them, you know?” She said quietly as she watched them.
“I miss having another woman to talk to, I miss how she gave me strength. And their presence....” she wouldn’t lament over it too long though because she would get herself upset and she sighed.

“I want the twins to know their God parents, too. They will be like aunt and uncle to Fletcher and Juliet but they can’t even look at them.” Anastasia said as she stroked Fletcher’s tiny hand as he slept.
  Anastasia Bell / Nullification / 6d 45m 30s
[left [pic http://i.imgur.com/R9bcGpC.jpg]] Willow smiled softly towards the two of them and glanced down at the baby boy in Anastasia’s arms and then moved her gaze to the little girl. She didn’t even ask their names and she felt awful for that. [b “What are their names?”] She asked quietly and when she got her reply she smiled. Willow already knew what they would name their children but she didn’t want to tell them that.

She looked up towards Justin as he started to lead her outside. It was nice to get some fresh air again and the cold air felt refreshing. It was exactly what she needed to start getting herself back to normal...whatever that might be now.

[b “I think so.”] She said honestly. She envied them for what they had but seeing her friends happy seemed to counter that feeling. [b “It’s a very confusing situation to be in. Jealousy and happiness all in one...it’s strange.”] She said as she leaned her head against his shoulder. [b “Are you alright?”] Willow needed him to know that she was just as concerned about him.

[right [pic http://i.imgur.com/gb7q260.jpg]] Jobe was surprised by Willow’s question. It was so strange that their children had been born a week ago and they had not yet learnt their names but it was completely understandable. [b “Fletcher and Juliet.”] He said simply, knowing that the sentiment would mean a lot to them. He smiled as he watched the two leave and turned his attention back to Anastasia.

He shrugged his shoulders gently while he glanced out in the same direction as her. [b “I think they are getting better. The fact that they are out of their room is a good sign alone. I hope they join us for some tea just so they can do something normal. Even if it’s for a little while.”] He missed them both and wanted things to go back to how they were between them. He hoped that they hadn’t lost them.
  ~Lost~ / d1gn17y / 6d 1h 12m 26s
Justin looked to them and then back to Willow.
“Thanks.” He said to them as he gave Willow’s hand a gentle squeeze and headed outside, breathing in the fresh, crisp air.
“Are you alright?” He asked her quietly, hoping the experience hadn’t shaken her up too much.

At least the air was clean and fresh and honestly it was a relief to be out in the fresh air and with her. He just hoped she was alright because seeing newborn babies would be enough to shake him up for sure. He didn’t resent them. He couldn’t possibly blame them but he was jealous and it hurt honestly to see them so joyous and he and Willow were still shaken by tragedy.


_____

Anastasia watched them and she looked and felt crestfallen but she didn’t say anything as they left. She looked to Jobe and smiled a little, brushing it off as she took Fletcher to give him a feed. She cradled her little boy, giving him a feed before settling him in his cot.
“Do you think they are okay?” She asked Jobe quietly and looked to her babies.

She knew that Justin and Willow would mean them no ill-will but she just hoped that eventually they would come around because she did miss Willow, especially, and two babies were a real handful so when Jobe went back to work, she as going to struggle to balance her time. She sighed softly and relaxed in the chair, looking to Jobe and then out to the garden seeing Justin and Willow walking.
  Anastasia Bell / Nullification / 6d 1h 54m 53s
[left [pic http://i.imgur.com/R9bcGpC.jpg]] The entire time they walked down the stairs she found herself being pulled into Justin’s side. He was so protective of her lately and there was no way that he was going to let any harm come to her, even if it was emotional. A part of her wondered if he would ever leave her again after what had happened.

When they got to the bottom of the stairs she glanced around and noticed that Jobe and Anastasia where in their usual spot in the conservatory. For a minute everything around her froze. It was as though she was being reminded of the future they had lost but she shook off the feeling. The last thing she wanted was to become bitter rather than happy for her friends and she looked up at Justin when he spoke and nodded her head.

She forced herself to look back towards Jobe and Anastasia and noticed that they had noticed them both. Anastasia’s smile was so comforting and regardless of how she might have been feeling she could not help but return it. [b “I actually need to get some fresh air...but maybe after if we are feeling up to it.”] Willow looked up to Justin and took his hand.

[right [pic http://i.imgur.com/gb7q260.jpg]] Jobe noticed that Anastasia smiled towards someone outside of the conservatory and he spun around to see Willow and Justin. He too found a smile to offer them some comfort and let them know they were thinking of them both. Willow was looking as though she might have been sick but that could have been the grief because he knew it could affect everyone differently.

He hope they would join them for tea. [b “The offer is there. You just enjoy your walk and feel free to join us when you are done.”] He said with a smile, handing Fletcher back over to Anastasia since her seemed to be fussing and he figured he was getting hungry.
  ~Lost~ / d1gn17y / 6d 2h 18m 39s
“No we can’t avoid them.” Justin agreed and rubbed his face as he followed her and braved himself for what this could escalate to. He was more worried for Willow than anyone else. He sighed quietly and escorted her downstairs, not wanting her to overdo anything just in case. He sighed quietly and kept close to her as they went down to the main house.

It felt nice to be out and he caught sight of Jobe with his child in his arms and he swallowed thickly as he looked to Anastasia who was sitting with Juliet in the cot.
“Are you okay?” He said to Willow quietly as he put an arm around her, not wanting her to be overwhelmed.

_

Anastasia heard the movement and looked to Jobe.
“Maybe?” She hoped it was them. Not because she wanted to show off her children but because it meant Willow was on the mend from the trauma. She kept quiet as they came downstairs and looked to Justin and Willow. She offered a small smile but mostly kept quiet, not wanting to make a big deal out of it because she knew they were already going through so much right then.

She placed a blanket over Juliet and watched them both.
“Would you like to join us for tea?” She asked quietly and it was a small offer, she knew anything else might be too much for Willow and Justin right that moment and if the children were unsettling to them she was sure Jobe would look after Willow and Justin if Anastasia looked after the twins.
  Anastasia Bell / Nullification / 6d 2h 31m 24s
[left [pic http://i.imgur.com/R9bcGpC.jpg]] Willow knew what she might have been committing to if they left the room and Justin seemed to be concerned with the matter. She moved the book from her lap and placed it on the bedside table and turned her body around to face him. [b “If you are not ready yet…it’s okay. I just feel like I can’t sit here and avoid them forever.”] She said softly, knowing that it was going to hurt to see them with their children, but they lived in the same house and she needed to start getting herself back together. She couldn’t be this weak version of herself anymore.

Willow smiled up at him as he handed her the overcoat and placed it around her shoulders. The kiss was a nice gesture, as if to prove that their love hadn’t dwindled as a result of their trauma. She took a deep breath before she left the room, almost as if she was about to go underwater but she kept her head high and tried to show a version of herself that wasn’t trying to mend.

[right [pic http://i.imgur.com/gb7q260.jpg]] Jobe smiled as he watched Anastasia with all the love he could manage. He leaned down to take Fletcher from Anastasia, not just to give her a break but because he loved having any of his children near him and he wanted the bonding time he had missed because he had been working in the study. He smiled down at him and bounced the boy gently in his arms before touching Fletcher’s nose with his.

[b “God I love you.”] He said down to the boy in his arms as he replied in some baby gibberish. He told himself it was his way of returning his affection and he smiled up at Anastasia as though he was filled with all the pride in the world. He heard movement on the floor above and glanced up slightly. [b “Do you think that’s them?”] He asked. He had not seen Willow since she had seen her lying on the floor in the snow, but he had seen Justin for minutes at a time as he came to get food and water. They had barely talked but he hoped they were both doing better.
  ~Lost~ / d1gn17y / 6d 2h 43m 58s
Anastasia smiled to Jobe and felt his kiss spread warmth through her very being. She passed Fletcher to his father,
“He’s getting to look more like you everyday.” She said softly as she sat beside Juliet’s cot. Juliet was the quieter of the two for sure and it was exciting to try and figure out what their children would be like as they grew.

Her delicate fingers traced Juliet’s own tiny fingers and she smiled to Jobe softly. What a sight he was with his children and she would never get tired of it and they had many years with them to teach them all of the things they needed to know. She was excited for it, honestly.

_

Justin looked to Willow.
“Jobe and Anastasia are downstairs with the twins...” he mumbled and was worried Willow would have a breakdown upon seeing two newborns. If she wanted to go outside he could maybe steer her clear of them. If he was lucky. He sighed out a little and got her overcoat,
“It’s cold out.” He said and placed a gentle kiss to her forehead. He was worried what her reaction would be upon seeing Anastasia and Jobe, they had avoided them and their children for close to a week now.

“Come on then.” Fresh Air and getting out of the room would do her good in the end he supposed, and it was a small step in the right direction if she wanted to start facing the world again.
  Anastasia Bell / Nullification / 6d 2h 58m 10s
[right [pic http://i.imgur.com/gb7q260.jpg]] Around about a week and passed since the birth of Juliet and Fletcher. It seemed as though the days and nights were blurring into one with how often they were waking up with their children, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. He was really enjoying being a father to both of his children and he knew that it would only get better as they grew older.

What pleased him more now, was the fact that Anastasia was no longer cooped up in the bedroom. She had healed nicely from giving birth and was now actively moving around the house as though nothing had happened. He stood in his study checking over some paperwork from the factory that morning. He hadn’t been into work and he wasn’t planning on going into work, but there was still some things he could do at home.

However Jobe only seemed to be able to cope with spending small amounts of time away from his wife and children and as soon as he signed a piece of paper he was making his way back to the conservatory. As soon as his eyes fell upon them he was filled with the same rush of emotion that he felt every time he saw Anastasia holding one of the children. This time she seem to be trying to settle Fletcher by looking at the snow. He laughed to himself softly as he walked into the room.

[b “I don’t think I will ever get used to the feeling I get when I see you together.”] He said as he moved towards her to place a kiss on her head.


[left [pic http://i.imgur.com/R9bcGpC.jpg]] Willow placed the book she had been reading flat on her stomach and looked up to see that Justin was letting some of the fresh air into the room. She hated the fact that they had both shut themselves away in this room but it had been what they both needed to help them process, grieve and heal. She no longer needed Justin to help her around the room but she was still pale and slightly weakened. Her appetite was all over the place but she tried to eat whenever Justin brought her some food.

Willow sighed softly and held out her hand towards Justin to coax him towards her. She was beginning to think that it was time for them to get out of the room and at least enjoy some fresh air. It will be good for them and the moment they step out of the room she knew that they were on the right path to healing. Willow sighed softly and held out her hand towards Justin to coax him towards her. She was beginning to think that it was time for them to get out of the room and at least enjoy some fresh air. It would be good for them and the moment they stepped out of the room she knew that they would be on the right path to healing.

[b “What do you think about taking a walk? It’s really not healthy for us to shut ourselves away for much longer. Some fresh air will do us both good and will help us start to get things back to normal.”]
  ~Lost~ / d1gn17y / 6d 3h 36m 3s
The days past and Anastasia’s strength returned. She was able to move more freely around now and it was a relief to her that she wasn’t cooped up in the room. The twins were doing fine, unsettled at night but nothing out of the ordinary.

Anastasia sat in the conservatory that afternoon with both twins in their cots. She stood and lifted the fussing Fletcher up and smiled,
“You love a fuss, little man.” She giggled a bit and looked out at the snow, keeping Fletcher wrapped up and warm.
“Look at this, eh?” She smiled to him as he set his eyes around from his mothers arms.
“There, now.” She cooed softly and watched him, kissing his forehead.
“It’s not that bad.”


_

Justin has been keeping a close eye on Willow, fetching food and drink and helping her with whatever she needed. She was healing from the miscarriage and physically, she was alright but he knew that her emotions and mental state would suffer more than her body. And he couldn’t help. He didn’t know how to. They’d barely been out of their room in the past, was it nearly a week?

He sighed as he opened a window to let some fresh air in and took a drink of water as he watched outside. It was still snowy and if things had been different they would all be celebrating the birth of Jobe and Anastasia’s children and looking forwards the meeting their own. Alas, it wasn’t to be this time. And all he could do was be patient and wait for Willow to be ready.
  Anastasia Bell / Nullification / 6d 4h 28m 17s
[right [pic http://i.imgur.com/gb7q260.jpg]] When he returned to the room he noticed that the staff had got back to their work and that the second cot had arrived. It would make things a lot easier having two separate beds for them. He glanced down at both his children, happily sleeping. [b “They certainly are. So peaceful too although they can be loud when they need something. I just hope they do not keep the whole house awake.”] He imagined it must have been painful for Justin and Willow to hear them but he didn’t bring that up.

He smiled and sat next to her. [b “That is strange but I hear that it is common. The love you feel for them outweighs everything else. Although I will not put you through that again...at least not yet.”] He said with a laugh, hinting and more future children although he was more than happy with the ones they already had.

The two ate their breakfast together in peace while their children lay sleeping and they talking about all the things they would do together when they were older. They were conversation they had before but they had not been expecting twins initially and that seemed to change some of their plans.

[left [pic http://i.imgur.com/R9bcGpC.jpg]] [b “I love you too.”] Even though she had thought it impossible, she managed to smile towards him as he voiced his words. She reached out and ran her fingers down his face lovingly but with a hint of sadness.

[b “I don’t know what to do Justin. I feel awful that I’ve not seen her yet. What kind of person does that make me?”] She asked as she looked from his eyes to scan the room simply for the distraction. [b “She is like my sister and I’ve not gone to see her children...and...”] She shook her head. [b “I just don’t think I can yet. Do you think they understand?”] The last thing Willow wanted was to upset them and she was concerned that their absence would be noticed for the wrong reasons.
  ~Lost~ / d1gn17y / 6d 4h 40m 50s
Anastasia watched Jobe and smiled. He was right. Their children would be loved and turn into wonderful people. Eventually the staff let them get back to privacy but not before a butler brought in an extra cot.
[i “Mrs Hughes, for the extra blessing.”] He smiles as he set it down for her and she placed the sleeping Juliet in there, thanking the man as he took his leave.

She looked to Jobe when he returned and smiled a little.
“They’re like angels.” She murmured softly as she watched Fletcher and Juliet in their cots. She gratefully took some tea and sat back down, taking a long drink.
“I cannot remember any of the pain.” She said to Jobe, thoughtfully.
“I just remember the lady putting them in my arms. Before that, everything is a blur.” She laughed a little, it was funny how Mother Nature worked.

_

Justin shook his head.
“I love you, and I would do anything for you. I want you to recover your strength and then we can figure everything out, Willow” he said as she played with his hands.
“Whatever you want to do, I’ll support you.” He promised her.
“I’ll update Anastasia and Jobe later today, let them know you are healing.” He said and kissed her fingers softly as he sighed. It was nice they hadn’t been disturbed.

It was probably too soon for Willow to see Anastasia and Jobe and he didn’t blame her. She needed to recover her strength and such. And emotionally, he wasn’t sure how she would respond to seeing two little babies. He would never bear any ill will to children but it would be hard and it would either go two ways; They would either fall in love with them or resent them.
  Anastasia Bell / Nullification / 6d 5h 23m 36s
[right [pic http://i.imgur.com/gb7q260.jpg]] Jobe laughed. [b “We are blessed and so are Juliet and Fletcher. They are going to have so many people to love them as they are growing up. I do believe that they will be just as kind-natured as their parents.”] He smiled and looked around the room and sighed happily.

[b “I’m going to fetch us some breakfast.”] He said softly and kissed her forehead as he left the children with Anastasia and their staff. He put together a tray of food, something easy for him to carry but something that would provide them both with enough sustenance to get them through the rest of the morning. He had considered checking in with Willow and Justin but he decided not to disturb them yet. Justin had looked so wounded when he delivered the news and he wanted to respect them. He would check in with him later.

[left [pic http://i.imgur.com/R9bcGpC.jpg]] Willow [I was] blaming herself. If she had been more mindful of what was going on around her she would have noticed the fire sooner and got herself and the horses out of there. If she had not been so wrapped up in the idea of her telling Justin he was going to be a father…

She felt him take her hands as he moved in front of her so that he could look her in the eye. She knew that he was right but the irrational part of her brain would not let her believe it. She sighed and shook her head. [b “You shouldn’t have to look after me. This did not just happen to me Justin…”] She absently played with his hand in hers and she looked him in the eye. [b “I should be taking care of you too.”]
  ~Lost~ / d1gn17y / 6d 5h 35m 27s
Anastasia knew that all of Jobe’s fair treatment of his staff meant they were genuinely happy for them and would also look out for their children. She smiled as she saw them off and looked to Jobe.
“We are truly blessed to have so much love in this world.” She said to him.
“Our children will always be loved.” She murmured and looked to little Juliet in her arms.

“They will both be strong and we will teach them compassion and patience and how to be understanding.” Anastasia said as she stood with Juliet and looked out the window, glancing down to her daughter who’s bright eyes were taking in the world around her.

_

Justin looked to Willow as she spoke and he stood, taking her hands in his as he knelt in front of her. He watched and sighed,
“Willow. This was just bad luck. No one is too blame, and I am so glad you didn’t perish in that dude.” He said to her and squeezed her hands gently.

“You just have to rest. We will do everything at your pace, I promise you. We can stay up here in this room for however long you like and I’ll look after you as long as you want me to.” He said to her. He didn’t know how to cope. He didn’t know whether encouraging her to perhaps go for a walk or visit Anastasia or stay in bed was right. He didn’t know what to do but he knew he would support her.
  Anastasia Bell / Nullification / 6d 5h 45m 21s
[right [pic http://i.imgur.com/gb7q260.jpg]] Jobe laughed. [b “They are [I both] going to be strong like their parents.”] He said, almost correcting what she had said. Anastasia was one of the strongest women he knew and to be able to go through childbirth was just a testament to this strength. He smiled at both of his children, imagining what they would be like when they grew up.

[b “You’re right as always.”] He said with a smile and placed a kiss on her cheek. [b “I love you too.”] He said and just as he was about to press a kiss to her lips this time, the door was pushed open and there were several servants and staff filtering into the room to see the children. It was a lovely sight and he was more than happy to have people showing their love to their children. They were going to be the luckiest children alive, that much he knew.

[left [pic http://i.imgur.com/R9bcGpC.jpg]] Willow would never be able to express how grateful she was for all his love and support while they went through this but she also understood that her gratitude did not need to be expressed with words. The bath helped sooth her aching bones and washed away the final evidence of what had happened. [b “Don’t leave me.”] She said as she reached out for him. The last thing she wanted was to be left alone.

After the bath, Justin helped her get dressed and the two of them went to sit next to the window and she couldn’t help but allow her eyes to fall upon the rubble of the stables. She swallowed hard and pulled her gaze away when Justin put some tea in her hands and she sipped at it, making sure that she ate enough to stop her from getting sick. [b “I never thought we would have to go through something like this. I was so happy about telling you…I...”] Willow shook her head. There were no tears left to cry and she wasn’t going to allow herself to fall apart around him again.
  ~Lost~ / d1gn17y / 6d 5h 53m 37s
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