[center [font "Nyala" This is for my babies to write what they are feeling, and thinking. Don't blame me for what's on their minds. This is their way of expressing how they are feeling.]]
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[center [b [font "Nyala" [u December 11th 2018.]]]]
[font "Nyala" I've been dreaming about the same man for months now. Things didn't work out like I thought they would, you were right daddy.. He turned out to be a horrible person, and someone who only wanted to use me.. I'm sorry I didn't listen to you or momma.. Just this man I've been dreaming about, he seems to be locked in some sort of basement or something. I don't know for sure, but the lighting is so dim, I can't tell. When he looks up at me though, I know those eyes..]
[font "Nyala" I don't know if it's because I've been dreaming about him, or if I'm supposed to save him or something. I've been wanting to tell someone about it, and this is the best place. I can wrap my head around all of it, if I'm not talking to someone face to face. I might come to you for help though.. I need my daddy's advice on this. I'm scared to even talk to Della, and Dani about it. They both are dealing with their own relationship drama's as well. I can't burden them with mine.]
[font "Nyala" I just don't know. Those ice blue eyes though, they look so haunted, and yet when they turn towards me in those dreams, they are filled with pure love. I don't know if it's directed to me, or what. But I wouldn't mind looking into those eyes for the rest of my life. I could just melt with one little look from them. I'm scared shitless about what's going to happen to him.. I have to do something.. But I don't know what to do.. I just want the man with those ice blue eyes to be okay, and safe from whatever is keeping him away from the world.]
[center [u [b Samantha Oakwood]]]
[right [u [b December 7th, 2018]]]
[center Hold on just a second here. Leave Korbin's name out of all you bitches mouths. You don't know shit. He did not have Mitch in his head so don't be blaming Mitch for it. He got tired of waiting for your ass to come talk to him. So don't blame him because you 'waited for him'. He's a guardian, he can't help that. It's just who he is. He tried to make it right with you and you just gave him the ring and stormed away from him. He's just as broken as you are.]
[center And before you start throwing around 'oh he's fucking her now' no he's not. He's my dad's best friend and I'm trying my hardest to help him and my dad out with everything going on. He's just as broken as you are but what's that matter. It's just about your little sob story going on. And yeah Fiona did call Wes out about the name. He's an addict, and yeah she knows that Mitch is one too but the difference is Mitch is willing to pick her over the drugs.]
[center So please stop shitting on a guy trying to make it right with his girl. Stop shitting on another guy who just wants to be a dad and is trying his hardest to make things work out and YOU walked away from. You'll love again, so don't pull that. Yeah does it hurt? Hell yeah. But you'll love again. Doesn't have to be a guy you know.]
[center [b [u Mitchell Larkin]]]
[right [b [u December 7, 2018]]]
Okay, I am doing something "therapeutic" like Fiona wants me to, so here is it.
I am so sick and fucking tired of everyone making me their scapegoat. Well guess what I am fucking done.
and that blue-haired demon bitch. I did not force your boyfriend or whoever the fuck he is to you now into my bar. I did not shove the needle in his arm. He walked into my bar. He ordered his drinks, and he asked about the fucking drugs. Money is tight. I admit it is morally wrong to manufacture and distribute product as I do, but sometimes you end up in a pile of shit and have to use what you have to shovel it. I didn't say jack shit about you sucking me off. I am sorry but I am not into over dramatic smurfette wannabes. Grow the fuck up take some responsibility for yourself.
I am done letting these people tell me who I am. Currently the list I have in control of my name for whatever godforsaken reason is as follows;
Weston, an alcoholic drug addict who for some reason was given a second chance after being beheaded for the same douchebaggery he is pulling now. Who is just as over-dramatic and terrified of respond as his little girlfriend.
Korbin, Weston's descendant who is too much of a pussy to make his own decisions, and blames everything on who again? oh wait me. Just because you didn't have the balls to stand up to the guardians doesn't mean you can blame your screw ups on Wes or Me. Grow a pair of balls. I am surprised you had enough testosterone in your system to even knock your girl up.
Blazewell, this old ass man with an obsession with putting his dick anywhere that fits. Who should be charged with the same bullshit they caught me on, because that man is as sick and as twisted as me.
Sebastian, some military fucking reject to stupid to spit out the words he is trying to say. Too much of a pussy to stand up for himself where he needs to hide behind and army of women and other fucking sympathizers.
But you know what. I am done. Yeah, I made some fucking big ass mistakes in my life, I had my fucking reasons and I don't need to explain any of it to anyone I don't want to. But I am done taking the blame for Weston's little crews flaws.
Yeah, I drink, I do some other shit too, any anger may be a little out of hand but I am not a fucking liar, and I am not here to have the blame placed on me.
This journal shit is bullshit, just got me more pissed than I needed to be. Fuck this shit.
[center [b [font "Nyala" [u December 7th 2018.]]]]
[font "Nyala" I'm back to the point where I was about two months ago.. I lost the most important person in my life. It's not my fault he was killed. It's not my fault that he was turning into a guardian.. It's not my fault that we didn't talk to each other for weeks on end. Yet he blames me.. He's the one in training, and he ended things with me. Maybe it's for the best, but at the same time I feel like a huge hole has been ripped into my chest again.]
[font "Nyala" What do I do wrong? Am I really that bad of a person, that I can't be fucking happy? Korbin you broke down my walls, you broke down those walls so quick that I didn't know what to think. You made me feel sane, and loved, and wanted. You meant the world to me, and then someone plants little thoughts into your head, and you decide to break your promise altogether. I know I shouldn't have said what I said, I'm keeping Koralee and I'm going to bust my ass to keep her safe, and happy.]
[font "Nyala" Even if you and I can't be together. I will try my hardest to make this co-parenting thing work. But why would you make me fall in love with you? Why would you ask me to be your wife, if you were just going to break me? Am I really that stupid? I guess I am.. Koralee is going to be here in the spring, and Alrick has been keeping quiet thank god. I'm tired of his talking, and I'm just tired with him altogether. I just wish I could hide inside of myself, and never come back out.]
[font "Nyala" Maybe it's for the best you and I aren't together anymore. You blaming me for not talking to you, killed me. You were the one who wasn't home, I didn't know when you were going to be home. I made a promise to myself, and to Koralee, I will make this co-parenting thing work with you, but I'm going to focus on myself and my daughter. I'll also prove Weston wrong as well. I'm going to be the best mother I can be, and I swear to god, I'm not going to let another man hurt me again.]
[font "Nyala" I'm never going to let myself fall in love, and I swear to god, I'll make sure my daughter realizes her worth. That she's worth so much more, than some booty call. It's going to be hard, but I'm going to do it. I'm going to help Ellie along the way as well. She's confused as shit, and hurt as much as I am. Her and I will make it through this, I swear to god we will. I'm doing this for you baby girl, and I promise you this, I'm not going to fail you. Never.]
[center [pic https://i.imgur.com/oKkBdBX.png]]
[right [pic https://i.imgur.com/fmkVxNv.jpg]]
[center [b [font "Nyala" [u December 7th 2018.]]]]
[font "Nyala" This is the first time I'm really opening up right now. I haven't slept at all yesterday, and I feel like I need to get all of this shit off my chest. I am naming my baby Novalynn. I'm not going to let you change my mind about it again. I'm learning from Bailey, that I need to trust my gut, and I'm trusting my gut on this one. Yes Mitch got into your head, and planted the fact I cheated on you in your head, and you are always getting drunk..]
[font "Nyala" I don't want that kind of person around my daughter. She's better than that, I'm better than that. Yes it hurts but I feel like I need to do this for me. You and I are toxic to one another. I do love the shit out of you, but you will always choose the drugs over me, and Novalynn. I know that. I've been with men like that, and no matter how hard I tried, I was always put onto the back burner, and I'm not going to do that again. I'm really not.]
[font "Nyala" I'm tired of being second best. For once I'm putting myself first. If you don't like it, then I'm sorry. I want someone who can handle my attitude, and someone who will pick me over everything else. I can't watch you killing yourself, and if you really want to work on things, then you know where to find me. My daughter will be named Novalynn, and I'm not budging. It's not a stripper name, and if you don't like it, then you should have put her and I first over everything, instead of being an addict.]
[font "Nyala" Maybe I'm letting people get into my head as well, but I've been alone with my thoughts. This is what needs to happen. If you are serious about being apart of Novalynn's life, then prove it to me. Stop being an asshole, and prove it to me. I'm gonna work on myself as well, but for now it's better if you and I aren't together. I can't have the stress with Nova coming so soon. I love you Weston, but you have to really think about what you want. Do you want your family? Or the drugs more?]
[font "Nyala" If you want your family, the drugs and drinking have to stop for good. I'm sorry, but my mind is made up. You aren't going to make me change it again.]
[center [font "Nyala" [u November 29th 2018.]]]
[font "Nyala" I'm seriously to the point where I'm done. I can't talk to you like I used too, I can't open up to you like I used too. I feel like all I'm doing is walking on eggshells around you. No one seems to understand that in a relationship, you have to talk to the other. You have to make them feel like they can talk to you. Lately, I haven't been feeling that at all. The fact that you assumed that I was making you choose sides, is fucking bullshit. I wasn't doing that at all..]
[font "Nyala" I was trying to talk to you about what was bothering me. I can't even do that more. The only person who's even letting me talk to them about everything is Charlotte. One of my best fucking friends. She understands more than my own girlfriend.. She let's me rant, and rave, and she knows I'm not making her choose sides. My best friend treats me better than my own girlfriend.. I know that sounds horrible of me, but I'm tired of it.. I'm tired of walking on eggshells around you..]
[font "Nyala" Why won't you let me talk to you? Things had been perfect before, and now it's all going down the shitter.. I've been working so many hours so I don't have to talk to you. I know you will read this, and I hope to god you do. You are losing me Madeline. You are losing me fast. I've put my all into you, and for what? Just to be shut out, and made to feel like I'm nothing to you? You say you're a monster, and maybe you are.. I know that's gonna sting when you read it, but open your eyes and realize what you are doing.]
[font "Nyala" Your own family that's here with Em, are taking my side. They love you, but they also agree that you should treat me better.. Is that too much to ask for? Is it really too much to have a girlfriend who let's me rant and rave about what's upsetting me? I swear to god, I'm done with this shit. I love you, but I don't know if I can be with you right now.. I feel like you should work on yourself, and then maybe realize that you really fucked up this time.]
[font "Nyala" I fucked up last time, and I'm truly sorry about that. But I would have at least let you talk to me. I wouldn't have shut you out, like you do to me. I just.. I don't know anymore.. I don't know what to fucking do, I feel so lost, so alone, and most of all I feel like you couldn't give a rats ass about any of this anymore.. I'm not doing it to hurt you, I'm doing it to get shit off my chest. Shit I've needed to say for awhile now.]
[font "Nyala" Please, realize what you are doing before it's too late. As far as I feel, it feels like it's already too late to even fix this.. I'm sorry, but it's honestly how I feel. What I've been feeling the past few weeks.]
[google-font https://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Merienda] [center [Merienda I'm home now and honestly it feels so strange. I've been gone for so long, so trapped in another forgein country praying every day for death. The only thing that got me through was her picture, someday getting home to her and seeing her one more time. I'm sure she's moved on, fallen in love with another man. I wonder how our little girl is? I bet she's grown up now, all without her daddy around to watch her change and shift. I should of been more careful in the war, I should of stayed home but I didn't. I went anyways like a fool and it has cost me everything. I just hope they don't hate me for leaving them. She still is my world, my moon and stars, but I don't blame her if she's moved on in her life.]]
[center [font "Nyala" [u November 15th 2018.]]]
[font "Nyala" What's wrong with me? I let the most important woman in my life slip away.. We had some of the best years together.. I don't blame her for moving on. I'm happy she did. I just feel so empty inside.. I feel like I'm not meant to be happy. I fucked up another relationship, and I'm happy she found someone as well. I just hope he takes good care of that princess of her's. Maybe I'm not meant to be happy.. Bensen tells me otherwise, but I can't help but feel like a fucking monster.. That's what I am, a monster..]
[font "Nyala" I don't know what to do anymore. I feel myself slipping away more and more every day. I stay around cause of my sister, but is it even worth it anymore? Is it worth hurting people? I.. I just don't know what to do.. I want to make things right, but would it even matter? Damage is done, and I can't do anything to fix it.. I just.. I just need someone to understand I'm not a horrible person, I don't tend to hurt those I care about, and I sure as hell am a good enough person.. I can say that all I want, but I won't ever believe it..]
[font "Nyala" It's been a long time coming I guess. Karma has finally bitten me in the ass, and I deserve everything I get coming to me.. The good, the bad, the worse.. Whatever it is, I'll just take it in stride, and I'll plaster on a smile and pretend I'm not slipping away..]
[center [u October 31st, 2018; Rohan]]
[center [font "Segoe Print" I'm not sure what to do, or what to think. My mom has been out of control lately with what he's doing. He's slapped a guy like twelve times. The fuck? I know he was put in charge but..it's getting a little wild. I don't know what to think or do. He feels so abandoned, but that's to be expected after loosing two people who were supposed to be with him forever. I just don't know..the guy he's with is angry and seems to be obsessed with one thing and one thing alone. I'm not sure it's a healthy enviorment or relationship for him to be in but what do I know?]]
[center [font "Segoe Print" We are glad to be back with our holder now but..I'm lonely too and I'm not sure what to do about it. I suppose just worry for my mom right now..it's all I can do. I thought I had a lot more to say but I guess I don't really. Well I'll check out for now, later.]]
[center [u October 19, 2018]]
So it begun. I mean I'm not complaining, everything added on top of what I had it's pretty cool. But i mean right away I need to start work, that's kind of bullshit.
All I want to do is spend time with Delilah. Can a guy get a break? Can I just fucking relax for one goddamned day. I get it, with the pit hungry and angry and on Uriel's scent he needs to get this done as soon as possible. Ha, I sound ungrateful, I swear I'm not. But what can I say, I just want a break. My entire life was devoted to my family well, my brothers and sisters. I made enough hard choices to last ten life times and all I want is a break. No more fighting, no more death just a chance to fucking breathe.
Anyways so this guy comes to me. All weird and hands me this jar. Said he owed the guy l, said I would know him. Like I was supposed to know what that means.
Curiosity got the best of me I suppose and I opened it, and out comes the ethereal form of that reaper kid, Corey or whatever. Was I expected to make him a guardian? I mean he didn't look the part but I guess if Shawn could use a few underlings, like that is a good idea. yeah right. Giving that fucker any sort of power is a recipe for disaster.
Like I said before all I wanted was some time off and some time with my girl. So what the hell I made the kid solid, he doesn't seem very guardian like but I guess I will keep him around for now until I can figure out where to put him. I can't say department any more since that asshole Blazewell destroyed the corporation, and we don't have everything set yet so he is just kind of following me around until I can things out. Not entirely sure how all this works but whatever, I have more important things to worry about. Like Delilah, and our kid I guess. I can't believe I am having another kid. I had to walk away from the other three, I wasn't in the right space to raise them but Delilah is sure I will be fine with this one. But taking a look at my track record with who I raised I still have doubts, but what am I to do but dive head first into this, right? I guess.
Bryan has been sticking around, I guess he knocked someone up. Great so one more kid to fuck up. Well if Nessa even lets me around it. I doubt it, but perhaps that is the best. I look at Blazewell and I would rather be dead than end up with that nymphomaniac obsessed with holes and his "staff" there is so much anger in him and the worst part is I can see so much of myself in him. Am I doomed to become just like him? Just angry and looking for the closest "hole" I don't know, I don't even know why I decided to write this stupid thing. I am not the one with the issues here, I could list off so many others who should do this before me. but whatever I guess. what is done is done right?
[center [font "Nyala" [u October 16th 2018.]]]
[font "Nyala" He's gone.. My whole world is gone.. I know you had no choice, but if that asshole hadn't shown up, and dragged Ellie into this, things wouldn't be so hard right now.. I miss you already Korbin, so much.. I feel like there's a huge chunk of my heart missing.. I know I still have our baby to think about but I can't.. I can't breathe, I can't move, I just want to stay curled up in a ball forever.. You tore down my walls without even trying too.. You made me fall for you..]
[font "Nyala" We were supposed to get married on Halloween, and now that's not going to happen.. It'll never happen.. I thought we had everything figured out.. We didn't.. Your best friend had to kill you.. He didn't have a choice, but I chose that he should stay for Ellie and their baby.. I want one of us to suffer, and I made sure it was me.. I'm the one having to suffer without you here, without my heart, without my light, my saving grace.. I have to live without you, and our baby has to live without you.]
[font "Nyala" I know you said you wanted me to be happy.. How can I be happy ever again..? The bond we had, it was special and wonderful in every way possible.. I can't find that with someone else.. I'll never find it with someone else. I'll make sure your son/daughter knows who you are, the kind of man you were, how you made me feel and made me realize it was okay to love again.. Now that I don't have you, I can't love again.. I will never love again.. This time I'm keeping my promise.]
[font "Nyala" I am going to pretend for our baby that I'm not dying every single day without you.. I think when the baby is born I'm going to have Ellie and Wes take care of him/her, and then I'll come and join you. I don't care if it's not my time yet. I can't live my life without you, I can't live without the light at the end of the tunnel.. I already miss having you next to me.. I miss hearing your voice, and the way you would lean over and whisper how much you love me, and our plans..]
[font "Nyala" God those plans to travel the world together, to create a family together, have more children.. Those dreams will no longer be real to me. Those dreams died with you. I'll make sure our baby is well taken care of, before I do anything else. Thank you Korbin, so much for showing me a world I gave up on. Thank you for loving me the way I needed to be loved, thank you for choosing me to bare your child.. Your only child.. My only child.. I love you to the stars and back baby.. I'll see you soon, I promise..]
[center [font "Nyala" [u October 9th 2018.]]]
[font "Nyala" I think it's safe to say, I'm slowly falling for the man. It hasn't been long but the way he looks at me, and the way he treats Layla my God. Could this be happening again? Like really happening? Yesterday was worth it. Seeing Layla's eyes light up when she saw the man. She pointed at him and said [i 'That's my daddy'] it kind of took me off guard. No sweetheart he isn't your daddy, but how can I tell my child no? She doesn't understand. Maybe she does, but I don't know.]
[font "Nyala" Seeing the smile on her face, and the way she latched herself to him made my heart melt. Maybe it's time I let myself be open to this type of thing again. I'm not going to be a single mother forever, so maybe I should let this male into our lives. I loved how he even put her to bed. She had grabbed onto his finger, and held him in place. I didn't know a small child could have that much power. When she said she loved him, and that she would see him later makes me wonder if she's not just a wolf.]
[font "Nyala" Every time I'm in a sour mood, all she has to do is touch me, and I'm feeling better. Makes me wonder if she's part witch. I don't know, it might be just because she's my child but I don't know. Maybe I'll ask one of the many witches around here, and see what they think. What's really been bugging me is the fact she said some things, that might be true and it might not be true. It's kind of scaring me honestly.]
[font "Nyala" What's so special about my daughter? I know what she's saying can't be true, but can it? Maybe there is something more to this little one than I'm seeing. I might need to ask for help on this one. Rikus, thank you for entering my life when you did. Thank you for taking Layla under your wing, and treating her like a spoiled princess she is. I can't wait to see where this new adventures takes us. I hope it's going to last, I want this to last. Not just for my sake, but for Layla's too.]
[center [font "Nyala" [u October 4th 2018.]]]
[font "Nyala" I hate you, I hate you, I hate you. I hate you with a fucking passion. How could you make me feel like something important, and then treat me like I'm shit? I didn't do anything wrong. I didn't treat you like you were shit. You meant something to me. Hell you made me feel like I could handle anything and everything. I'm not like Kyra in hiding what I'm really feeling. You've made me a cold hearted bitch, I don't care anymore. I really don't. The only thing I do care about is Bunny, and making sure she's safe, happy, and has a wonderful life. I didn't want to come back here. I didn't want to bring Bunny here, but I know she needs her cousin, and her aunt's and uncles. She's a very loved child, and I'm happy for that. What I'm not happy about, is how I'm feeling. I don't smile the same, I don't laugh the same, and all I can feel is my heart shattering over and over again inside of my chest. Sometimes at night, it's hard to breathe.. and I can't catch my breath.]
[font "Nyala" The only person who can understand that is Kyra. She's dealing with the same issue as I am right now. What did I do to make you hate me so bad? When all I did was love the shit out of you. I do thank you for giving me Bunny. No she's never going to know who you are either. I don't want her knowing someone who destroyed her mother. Some people might say I'm keeping her away from you, when I'm protecting her. I don't want her getting older and asking to see you. I know she will, but I have a story I'm going to tell her. She doesn't need to know the man who helped make her. You are dead to me, and you will forever be dead to me. I hope the person you are with right now, you treat them better than you treated me.]
[font "Nyala" I want to move on, I want to be happy again, I want to feel loved again. This is the most I've ever spoken, and it's all rage. All I feel is anger, and hatred. I can't wait to finally find someone who wants me. Someone who wants to see me smile, someone who will take care of me and Bunny. Someone who want's to build something with me. Enough about my pain, and anger right now. It is kind of nice being back around here. I did miss Emily with my whole heart. She was always there to listen to me, and she made me feel better. She's really an amazing woman, and I'm happy to have her as a holder, and to have her in my life.]
[font "Nyala" I'm happy that Bunny and Layla have adults around to make them feel like they are loved, and cared for. There are a couple more children here, and I think they might be a little bit older than her, but it doesn't matter. As long as I know my daughter is happy, that makes me happy. Let's see what life has in store for me now. I'm sorry Em's for yelling at you pretty much.. I just needed to vent about this, and see if it made me feel better. Honestly it did. I feel like I can finally talk to other's, and maybe let them into my fucked up life. We shall see.]
[center [font "Nyala" [u October 3rd 2018.]]]
[font "Nyala" It feels strange being around here again. I never thought I would ever want to come back. This place holds many memories for me, even though they were short lived. I met a man, and he made me feel special, made me feel like I meant something, and sometimes I felt like I was the only girl he ever saw. He showed interest in my hobbies, or at least I think he did. He might have been pretending for all I know. When things went south, I felt like a hole had been ripped inside of my chest.]
[font "Nyala" I never felt that kind of pain before. The way he talked to me, the way he accused me of cheating on him, when I was carrying his child. [i My] child. I never once dreamed I would be treated that way. One minute I was his world, and then I was the dirt beneath his feet. I couldn't believe I let myself be treated like that. I was in love.. At least it was love for me. I don't know what it was for him, but for me it was heaven on earth.]
[font "Nyala" The only good thing I got out of that whole mess is my princess Layla. She's my world, my everything, my little spit fire. She's learning so many new things daily, and I can't thank God enough for sending her to me. Her and Bunny were both sent to Adrianne and myself for a reason. Adri and I had to go though the worst pain of our life, just to realize the good we had come of it. I didn't want to come back here, but Beau and the other's did. So why am I here anyway?]
[font "Nyala" I feel like something good is going to come out of this. I've been told by countless people to follow my gut, and this time I am. I'm no longer following my heart. It's too shattered for that. I just want to be back to normal. I don't want to feel the pain I feel anymore. I don't want Beau and the other's looking at me like I"m about to break or something. I'm stronger than that. I can't let a heart break, tear me down. I have to build myself back up. If not for me, then for my Princess.]
[font "Nyala" Maybe I'm glad to be back, maybe I'm not. Only time will tell on this one. I just hope whatever this feeling I have, isn't a horrible feeling and it'll shatter me even more. I'm hoping this feeling will lead me to someone, who want's to put the broken pieces of my heart back together. I don't know.. I just don't know..]
[center [font "Nyala" [u September 30th 2018.]]]
[font "Nyala" So I just barely got back home from my run. Yesterday was pretty amazing, all because of a woman I just barely met. I don't know what it is about her, but I feel like she's tearing down my walls already. She barely knows me, but I feel like I've known her for ages. I can go on and on about her if I wanted too, but I'm not going to just yet. We are in the stages of getting to know one another, and I couldn't be more happier. I just hope I don't scare her off.]
[font "Nyala" Moving onto something else, before I get all mushy. It's weird being back here. Me and the guys, haven't been back here in months. Well ever since everything happened between a bitch and my holder. Why should we have stayed? We were treated like shit by the bitch, but that doesn't matter. It feels good being back here though. I feel like I'm home, and I know the guys are feeling the same way. The parlor is still running good, and I know I should be heading that way soon. I just I don't know.]
[font "Nyala" I suppose you can say I'm walking on cloud nine since yesterday. She really is an amazing woman, and I could listen to her voice all day. She's beautiful, and gentle, and pretty much everything I need in my life. I'm not going to get my hopes up too much though. We are getting to know each other, but I have learned over the years I need to follow my gut. So maybe I'll wait and see where this new journey takes us. I hope you slept well beautiful, and I'll hopefully talk to you soon. Off to work I go.]
All posts are either in parody or to be taken as literature. This is a roleplay site. Sexual content is forbidden.