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[i [size10 I'm starting to see why source had brought you into my ring once more, as you are beginning to become aware and awaken just like I had in the past.
But... it had been years since we have gotten into contact last, I almost wish to pry and ask how long, but the thought of that is enough to cause a clench in my chest. For I can only imagine chasing after the person you value so much for... however long you had.
You said someone had been stopping you, discouraging you in the past, hence the speculation of it being years..
Just what do I do to cause such loyalty in people that wish to loop back to me?
... I really don't deserve it.
But I am, after all, grateful.
You've been growing, becoming more aware of the environment around you. And I'm happy about that, you in realizing you're still a person, despite the shit you have been going through.
You're a soldier. You don't need me as much as you may think/thought. I mean, you were able to get through things in the past, you hadn't traded your breath for silence.
Even if you had been diagnosed with what you have been, it won't change how I treat you. We were two peas in a pod in the past, and I'll be dammed if a simple title will suddenly cause me to turn away from you suddenly.
[size7 gotta do something first for me to give u the cold shouder lol... and man oh man is that cold;]
You're already a gorgeous young lady, keep ur gay ass up with doing what it is you do. For you will find yourself in the passions you indulge in. That, I assure you, little light.
I will help you gain knowledge over yourself, so long as you allow it. I'll help you shape your internal world, so your external may reflect as good as you may feel.
For that is my life purpose, and I will take it in full.
[b Sighs in mom friend as I watch my little sprouts blossom before my very eyes]
[i [size10 February??
You've been trying to get into contact with me since February 24, at the least?
I'm not quite sure what to say. To think that I've been as important of a piece to you to be trying to speak with for years...
I don't deserve this, especially with the way on how I ended things and cutted you out.
Thank you for being open and not giving up on me.
[i [size10 Actually, I'm going to vent abt one more thing involving one piece.
I LITERALLY found myself in this universe, or at least, one who resembles me so much, it pissed me off so fucking badly.
Brent would go, "Yea, you can be Nami or Robin for now but youre --"
AND I CAN FINALLY
Oh my god.
LIke, uncharacteristical anger towards. I thought it was because she kicked a cat from the jump.
Still hated her episodes after and Im just ":TTTTT"
SHowing nothing but all my negative personality traits, I wanted to CHOKE HER OH MY GOOODDD
. [b pulls cosplay together to be her in April]
= w= I know shes about to soften up??? But..... jesus fucking christ I had it out for her the first few episodes she came up in oh my god.
[#FF0000 [b [size10 Uncertainty is definitively in the air.
I cannot blame the actions of others, especially when I understand their defense mechanisms and why they’re doing what it is they do.
It doesn’t stop it from hurting all the less, and that’s just that.
Pending on the future, the steps that will be taken, altercations to my subconscious framework will be made, and I will be sure to be born anew once more. Resistance to change will be voided and null, for then I will completely understand that [i this] is what was meant for me.
My whole philosophy now? As I continue to become more aware of myself and how the world functions?
"If you can't keep up with me, see ya later." >xDDD I keep saying that, it's my own mantra now as I delve deeperk jhekdslf
Continuous metamorphosis, I am but a simple caterpillar awaiting to come out of its cocoon.
I envy those who don’t become aware of themselves, it was a more peaceful life of child-like ignorance.
Not to say I’m suddenly blossomed into some wise, old, sage. Heavens no. I just became enlightened, more aware of myself and my own limitations.
There is much that I do not know that I don’t know. And that’s all the more exciting to look into and learn about the world.
I loathe continuous cycles, more than one could bare. It’s more so within myself, than anyone else. For how can I control the input/output of another being?
That’s just it, I can’t.
So, why would I worry about them? I shouldn’t.
Will this union bring out my childhood trauma once more? When I thought I had addressed it?
How could I be so certain,
This attraction to retro videogames is all because I simply cannot remember this childhood which I long to have a connection with.
Fractions of the past have began to arise once more, both within my mind and the people around me.
Granted, the first was my own doing, but we will just see how this one completely goes, since I really [u don’t] want to leave him behind.
This other one... well, I just hope they’re going to be doing what it is they do for their own reasons and not try and stir up drama with me.
Fucking Mercury Retrograde. Fan-Fuckin’-tastic. :’)
The environment around me has begun to shift
I am bringing those who are becoming just as equally aware of their own limits and what they can and cannot take in their lives. For once you change your internal world, the external begins to do the same.
212, a constant number Lily sends my way:
“Listen to your intuition”
“Don’t doubt yourself. Gather that self confidence”
“Don’t worry, you may be going through a difficult time, but wonderful things are coming your way!”
Whenever I see them, just now, for example, it usually...
I usually get other angel numbers too, they’re always communicating with me.
If I see anything as often as I do? I’d say 444, a constant sign of protection being cast around me. And that, I know for certain I am.
In the past, I had malevolent spirits try and attack me. Actually got jerked from my bed in the earlier stages of when I had been opening my Anja.
Deities of their own reality do not bend, they do not faulter unless desired.
When one becomes intimately aware, intimately knowing they can control the flow and traverses of what happens in their life... they become enlightened.
And that, I am.
It had been so long since I was able to sit down and listen to nothing but my own heartbeat or a channeled guide. I miss it.
She’s still around me, all the time.
All variations of the name Lily were done for this generated villain name I was trying to make for my One piece self insert, it made me giggle slightly because of it.
But this 212....
Have faith, Moo, you’ll be out of the ringer soon enough. Eheh
I am so fucking thirsty for this man/Ace it kills me.
I have his whole ass hat
His poster up on my wall jesus christ help me what do I do
[i [size10 A binge clean of my room was very much needed.
Ever more so when I was able to compare my room to my friends, his had been spotless;;;
There's currently a pile of laundry in the corner which will be picked apart later.
Hair? It is back to being curly and washed, I cannot wait until Friday when I can put a mask on it to bring it back to health
.... [size7 I found my, like, almost two hundred dollar earring and ring set lol I was wondering where that ring went]
There's more space for my incoming oracle and tarot cards
About to do a very much needed face mask
Repolish my nails
Annnnddddd finally resolve even MORE shadow work = ~=' It never fucking ends when you realize habits and patterns;;;
I'm also going to sage my room? I need to keep my panchlette close to me, since I'd like it to have more of my energy in it - w- [size7 I also have to reach a compromise with one of my spirit companions, he's so moody with me right now oh my godj fjfdhlgslirudi put me in timeout.]
Ye, making shit more fickle than is needed. Smh.
I will not accept this
For why though?
Cause our master of ES hates us xD
[i [size10 Okay but ... for why tho like how am I finna be social now for easier access wtf
The master of ES has claimed Real Time Chats dead.
Tis his new decree
[size10 [i Just what the fuck did this ding dong do to my poor chat wtf]]
[b [size10 [#9966cc To forgive others, one must realize:
People are just doing the best they can at the state of consciousness they're in.
It allows for understanding, and then letting go.
For if one forgives, the person will release the negative trait/idea that had once been holding them back. It shows compassion, and above all.. it unravels someone ever closer into becoming the person they were meant to be.
I will do this of my own. Safely.
[b [size10 [#722f37 On another thing? I've been having this desire to, like, purge my body from toxins and all that? Hence why I was looking at nutrition based videos.
I think I'll do this after my vacation/after I hit the beach. For a couple of days now, I've just been having this feeling of my body speaking to me, like-
Body: Empty me (:
Body: Systems Reboot me
I kinda already have an idea on how I can go about this, as fasting isn't hard for me to do tbh djsh the first couple of days are fickle, but after? Pretty chill
[b [size10 [#722f37 The educational based video I'm watching claims that, if a person intakes excessive amounts of salts in their diet, they'll become more stressed and become more reactive to situations
feh feh feh
.... I suppose.... the term... being salty..... wasn't... wasn't wro- *shot*
[b [size10 [#9966cc Gently inhales over my light headache and the lack of sleep going on with my ass
fuck me man;;;
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