[Baba Yaga Castle]

/ By Gorgon [+Watch]

Replies: 282 / 271 days 6 hours 46 minutes 16 seconds

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  1. [Allowed] ShieldHero-


[i [u/c]]

Proooobably going to use this to put whatever is on my mind at the time, ahuhu.

[pic http://78.media.tumblr.com/ebc8b5828ffeb1bef2311df17b1f1ecf/tumblr_olp6evV2Uv1ta9suso1_500.png]

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Roleplay Responses

[b [size10 [#e63e62

Me: Oh Im going to achieve and accomplish this small list of goals that will better me
Me:
Me: *Actually starts doing them*
Me: [pic https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/medium/000/027/475/Screen_Shot_2018-10-25_at_11.02.15_AM.png]

I drop one of my best friends I had since middleschool and look at this...

I'm gettin' my shit together and actually doing it what the fuck me.

... With that being said.

Still waiting for a response from the therapy place one of my friends gave me a line to.
And I have to make a DIFFERENT call tomorrow for paying off my medical thing via sciatica I had a bit over a year ago - w-

Otherwise,,, I'm,,, hella chill? owo

Like,
It's so fucked up and I know it.
But I really feel better NOT associating with her, and;;;;

oopsy poopsy-

I did the school thing too, like, everyone here also is super understanding.
With that being said, I'll be doing my education based classes first, and when I feel comfortable with draping both men and women/the idea of it, I'll .. be able to tackle that shit. >:3c

Mom has been understanding of whats going on in my life, and she's been trying to get into contact with places as well.

[i raps her fingers against the edge of her laptop] I'm.. thinking of looking more into the theories of Astral projection and all of that shebang. I once had a v intense interest in it and had an OOB experience once? It was,, very interesting.
This was in about early middleschool though, and I dropped my intentions of shifting out of body because of stress and all that.

But... maybe I'll be able to do that again? I know the astral plain is a m a z i n g. And you can learn quite a bit on that plain of existence if one so desired.

I just,, have to refurbish my knowledge over the art of this and get more in tune with it once more.

There's also been stories of people doing faster manifestation from there. And it can effect not only your life on this physical plain, but you can set intentions out to others and help them too!

A phenomenon :3c one which peaks my little spiritual interest.That and the theory of Q u a n t u m j u m p i n g

God
[i waits for my sempai to ask wtf are u talkin abt and tell me its not possible but idgaf this is what i believe bye bitch-----] jk ily chrissu eheheh

I'll see, black pippy long stocks knew the good shit and Im just now getting back in touch to it.

Huhuhu. >;3c having more free time is great jafligsdhea I actually get to dabble into things I always had an interest in;;
  |Monibutt| / Joo- / 4d 12h 51m 56s
[b [size10 [#722f37 Absolutely, positively cannot wait until mother hen responds to my message so I may get the Ace attorney trilogy games on my iphone for my own damn self.

Daddie Edgeworth,,, u will soon consume my life for a week or so, this I assure you.
  |Monibutt| / Joo- / 8d 12h 48m 17s
[b [size10 [#e63e62 Yuck everyone keeps talking in the house when Im trying to go to dream land, fuck me dude.
  - / Joo- / 12d 16h 33m 56s
[b [size10 [#e63e62 I thought I would have been able to sleep soundly without writing my entire thoughts out over this.

But here I am, and about to preach it again for the ones in the back who don't seem to quite understand;

A person gets upset in another because the person in questions expectations were not met by the other party.

With this knowledge, why should the other person get upset, because they didnt bend to what you considered 'right' or 'wrong'.

That's the thing, it gets easier to not get angry with others when you realize

People perceive things differently than you.
You perceive things differently than other people.
How someone may perceive you may not be how you are

So why should you care about someone getting angry and upset with you? It's not like their own feelings have a genuine impact on yourself.

It sounds a bit robotic
But at the same time, it gives very logical, calm, and rational responses regardless of how elated the other person is.

I dont owe a person an apology because I'm recouping and figuring out what is bothering me.

I admit,
Not talking to your friends/giving them a check up on how you're feeling is wrong. And I blatantly admitted that I was wrong for it and apologized.

But again....
To get upset at someone else because their methods of handling their business is different than yours???

Mmmm...
What if I don't care about you being upset? But Im sorry about making you worry?

Its sound, and simple.
I don't feel bad in the slightest bit, I made my due, and that's that.

I'm... really not going to be talking to her for a while, because, oh, no... I apparently "Dont care" for her. When IM the one who is figuring out my own baggage and what's causing me to break down in classes and cry. And having so many years upon years of knowing eachother....

Oof

Well, alright then, I guess?

Good luck out there sempai, because, deadass? I already know the cycle of emotional bullshit youre going to come to when you realize you have been GENUINELY left behind. Because I told you to not say that, and you should know better on who I am as a person. But in a fit of anger, you throw it in my face and say I don't??

Anger is a gateway to ones emotions.
It's a little,,, exaggerative, on how they're feeling, sure, but the gist of it still remains. "U dont carrreeee"

I just....
Well, I do get it.

Being so worried for someone that you get upset with them

Just because I understand doesn't mean I'm going to partake and get fussy right back when....

it aint got dik to do wit me fr (':

So,,, she can sort that and herself out,, and I'll continue doing the same over here.

I,,, feel better now aha-

Gotta, like, kinda understand that the same goes for me too, and I've been sitting here and checking myself when it was needed. I'm getting better at it.

I should really head to bed, I have to get up in a hour or two.

But this was just,,, kind of bothersome to me and I had to sort everything out.

Ty for coming to my tedtalk-

[size7 also do u like my ideal self bc I love drawing my own self insert huhu]
  - / Joo- / 12d 17h 3m 21s
[i [size10 [#710193

> <<
Not on here for long, as I decided to use this as an updater and for Y O U [s Chris] to not be too too worried over my wellbeing.

I mean, I still do care for you, after all. Sorry again that I’m incapable of simply... associating with you. That I do not know my own boundaries, so so bad smh

Uhhhh
Let’s see here, let’s see

[right [b June 6, 2019]]

[center [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXpjUePKFGk]]

I’m starting this off by saying I have completely isolated myself the second I was given a break. There hasn’t been any contact with the tiny circle of friends I have .

The entire week, I spent in a retreat of being asleep and getting high. I wasn’t talking to anyone verbally, nor through text.

I just.. Didn’t feel the purpose? It felt like energy, like it was an effort to try and relate to people for a moment.

Nami would bode on and on about her fashion notoriety, and she’d continuously talk about parties and gigs she was being given opportunities of. And, at the time before I disappeared, I would nod my head along and smile.
I’m happy for her! I really am, even now, I can still say I’m happy for her!

But.... I don’t think I’m one to be friends with someone who only talks about that sort of stuff? I have no interest in it, and the fact she apparently has gotten upset because [b I] was depressed and system shut down?? It makes me... question.

No, you aren’t supposed to leave your friends without notice.
No, it’s not cool to have them worry about you.
Yes, I would be worried for that friend if they were to suddenly drop off.

But would I get upset? Genuinely upset for them not taking the option to t a l k to me?
How... peculiar.

I get WHY she’s upset.
I understand completely, but,,,??? It doesn’t mean I’m going to agree with it.

Hence why I probably spoke to Marie first rather than her tbh oopsydoooo.

I want to say I don’t care? Well, I didn’t care about their worry.
Why else would I not respond to the few that had reached out to me on messenger over my memes not being in supply?
Smh, deadass? I know you’re going to laugh,
But
Some people came to my messenger, and were asking if I was okay because of my Memes not being in supply?
Them: Wheres my meme dealer

Bitch she sleep and stoned brb-

[center *~*~*~*]

I want to say the start of this was a couple of weeks ago, but I know I can’t pin it there, this is pinned back even further when I realized I was getting harassed by one of my coworkers.

So, that happened in January. It’s June now.

During class, a couple of weeks back, I was told to do draping and all of that. Now, this already made me uncomfortable, and I never expressed WHY it did to my instructor . And she thought it was a simple stone I can easily get over, so she was forcing me to do it.

I mentioned to one of my friends how I teared up during the process, but
Uh

That was an understatement. (:

I was full on bawling and she was wondering if I was feeling better/happy because I tackled an issue and I was just “I dont know (‘’’’’:” BITCH
BITCH YOU KNOW YOU SAD

Just kidding, I didn’t.
I honestly didn’t know what or why I felt uncomfortable until I said it outloud. Until I was questioning why I dreaded the thought of coming into school tomorrow (today?)

“I’m scared of making someone feel how I felt when-”

I wish I was able to catch my own problems without having to voice them or vent about them to someone else holy shit.

I just, JUST started to sort these issues out tonight. And they’re a bigger problem than I intended making them out to be. Fuck mountain is up there, fuckers.

Okay
Yeah
So, I have an issue with touch. It’s bigger than I intended making it out to be.

But the question here is,


[right [b H o w a r e y o u g o i n g t o f i x t h i s m e s s ?]]

Well.....

I mean it this time, I got the therapy number from Marie, and I pinned it up in a conversation I have with Gabby, that way I cannot possibly forget.

Honest to god love that woman. Like,,, no hate or trying to make you salty bab, but... thats my baby Im sorry.
My Gayby.
The o n e

That’s another thing I need to sort out, my feelings for Gabriela to be honest. I’m such a fuck up of a mess and I just need it SORTED PL E A SE JESUS CHRIST MONIQUE IF YOU DONT---
Ofc I love her
But.....
Do I LOVE LOVE THAT GAY BB IDK
..... [b throws it on fuck mountain with everything else and waits for it to become an actual problem for me to address. Like this---]

I’m badgering my own plans.
Back on track.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEGGgnO4_2E]

I got the therapist offices number
I’m going to ask my supervisor over the form of insurance we have, as I cannot find it in my own benefits feed.
If I dont have one here, at this work space? I’ll actually address my mother about this issue and have her involved.

I’ll also be messaging/notifying the staff at my school. They should have known about this topic of touch I have issues with. And I know they accept handicaps for others who have mental health issues?

I’m hoping to ideally get therapy and just the education based parts of this school down, so then I can worry about touch later. But.. I’m not too too sure.

I still don’t have my own basic necessities down, like,,,, bitch I still dont got my license but I got a car yeah I said it, what’s good? Im cardi B bitches wbu---
But seriously, I think... I really need to work on the internal clockworks of what makes a Monique, and I just keep trying to bite off more than I can chew

It’s ... getting overwhelming lmfao.


Also
I just absolutely adore Faith Marie, bitch always has the right lyrics to bring me to tears

Actual fuckin tears, makin it smell like bitch in here

[size7 Also Chris I wasn’t too too sure but I still dont want to be logging in and out of here with a push and pull of your feelings and making you go “(: .. :( ... :DDD .... D:” >xDDD;;;;

Part of me wanted to ask; do u wanna rp
But another part of me is like, “Hush Monique... just let it go until youre ready.”
How else am I to keep the dark thoughts away hmmmmm---- by escaping into rp duh--- no omg
Well
Actual- *cough*


Kinda joking, kinda not I know thats so fuckin weird but idc heyy i still luh u bitch... I aint ever gon’ stop lovin u. B i t c h]

Okay

[center ♡ Make an Email to your staff and instructors, you Troglodyte
♡ Figure out what insurance your work provides, if they don’t have one, talk to ur mum about need of therapy again
♡ [s MAKE YOUR CALL FRIDAY-SATURDAY MONIQUE IM GOING TO FUCKIN SKIN YOU IF YOU DONT BITCH] Make your call to the therapist office
♡ Try your best throughout the rest of this quarter. Finish this through at least sweetie.
♡ Its okay if your parents don’t agree with your choices. You’re brave for finally voicing what you need help in, right?
♡ I love u, you psycho bitch. Even though you dont love yourself. ]

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1M5EMtit3k]
  |Admin| / Joo- / 13d 10h 37m 7s
Well I responded to it all via PM.
But than I got you didn't want me to and I was like.
"WHOOPS"

God I gotta recode my whole story...
I'm glad it's back I missed it and wanted to write in it.
It relaxes me so much.
In some ways more than video games.

But recoding it?
UGH

Haha I know what you are getting at ;3

I got a Big mac!
I have splurged eatten this trip.
Diner food and the like.
Since not being paid Juzi has paid food.

What's WEIRD to me is eating the way we have? Me alone it's been more than 200 dollars a week.
So it's costed him more I feel AND
I don't save up.

With 200 a week before and I decided my own meals? I ate cheap and careful af.
While being able save money rather easily.
I feel we both lose out more this way but all well.

I haven't done any work this time since not here on the job and all.

Ohhh PMS almost as fun as PM's
xD

Heading home huh?

Me? Just took a long walk to and from Mcdonalds.
Got food.
Nice walk physically.
But mentally?
My mind went places I didn't like.


When I get home brandon and me can both get a job.
Might start with Krogers apparently that is a union job with union benefits that get better as you work there?

With my mom being more stable money wise I can focus on saving up.
I don't mind I gave her everything before and all.
Didn't bother me but now I can save up for me.

Thing is I've realized..

The goal is to eventually move out right? And get/do what you want?
I don't.. Really wanna do anything?

Hmm..
I really wanna try that boxing amateur try out.
My mom would flip cause apparently it's not super safe.
I've never boxed anyone except David.

I'm a good scrapper/street fighter but I've always been fucking terrible at boxing tbh.
It's very different.

I wonder if I'll get to fight anyone that can actually put up a fight.
God I'm fucked up cause writing that made me smile.
And like that my mood has slightly improved.

I'm shy about the signing up process.
Adulting isn't my strong suit as you know
xD
  Naofumi / ShieldHero- / 32d 18h 32m 43s
[size10 [#710193 don’t worry abt it- it was emotional whiny Moo
That’s me tho so it’s okay >xDD;

..... Wh- No >xD that’s not what I’m getting at goofy

No no
PMS
not pm
Lmaoooo
Girl stuff

I suppose owo I’m about to head home when this bus comes in,,,,
What about you though? owo
  |Admin| / Joo- / 32d 19h 9m 38s
Emotional?
No I forgot to mention crap!
I said call back when you get back right?
I PASSED OUT
Jeez and you were not feeling good to.
Chris: "I'm here if you need me"
XD
I suck.

Hahaha the trailers huh?
[b Snuggles in the dirt]

Okay PM me than! ^~^

You okay doll?
  Naofumi / ShieldHero- / 32d 19h 53m 44s
[size10 [#710193 Oh? Didn’t get my text message, did you?
It’s for the better I don’t feel like dealing with the drama I have created for myself-
Probably Pms or some shit I swear was emotional for NO reason last night like bitch chill

,,,, like the commercials s- [b skids into the dirt] x-x

Edit: It has to be Pms. It HAS to. I’m breaking out in my usual spots that I do when-

Ignore past me, she’s just having her hormones fucked with.
  |Admin| / Joo- / 32d 20h 9m 5s
[center [+green Hypersensitivity? Are you okay? Smell like bitch? Huh? XD]]


[center [+green Our program huh?]]

[center [b Tackle snuggles]]
  Naofumi / ShieldHero- / 32d 21h 8m 41s
[size10 [#710193 Wh,,,,, what’s that?? Was- was I making it smell like bitch in my own thread again???

Oopsie- back to our regularly scheduled program why am I like this;

[b Asks why am I like this while knowing damn well why I am like this-]
  |Admin| / Joo- / 33d 5h 39m 40s
[size10 [#FF1493 There is nothing I loathe more than my own hypersensitivity to the world around me. (':
  |Admin| / Joo- / 33d 7h 57m 46s
Ye for the ugh.

Like mother like daughter huh?

The table for massaging right?

WHAT?! It's got a warranty? So why can't I smash?
XD

I didn't mean you give blowjobs and candies!
I meant they better give out blowjobs and candies with a 1000 dollar table!
XD
Happy endings lmao I forgot that's a thing people hope for when getting a massage.

Annoyin? Me? NEVEERRR
XD

Ahh well I'm proud you can pull all of that off!


<3

Abdomens haha
I could never get one of those.
My stomach is so ticklish.
Not one person ever has ever been able to touch my stomach.
As a massage
Or a doctor even.
I giggle I laugh and I almost kick.
My stomach is so ticklish dear god.

Remember Noct in FF15? He couldn't do massages?
XD

[pic https://i.ytimg.com/vi/kCsspQG4Fvk/maxresdefault.jpg]

Do they have an area for penis Massages? XD
IM KIDDING
I know they do booby ones instead.
xD

Okay but what is Tactile?
Taste? Mother fucker gonna rock my taste buds than cure my depression?

Which hormones?
I'm sure getting touched makes some hormones rise
xD
I'm so bad.

Oh wow yeah I know what those are actually... Have had my doctor ask me about those.
As well as a few other specialist.
Long story short I think I was always told to take a chill pill

XD

I used to get so upset I'd hyperventlate. It was pushing the parts of my body made to fight stress way to hard to the point I was getting physical adverse affects.
Some things never got answered or didn't make sense to doctors when I explained it.

But other stuff was explained to me at least.
I'm glad you don't feel that way as much anymore.
[b He grabs her face]
You aren't meaningless.

Haha seriously though your awesome Moneck.
  Naofumi / ShieldHero- / 37d 23h 4m 18s
[i [size10 [#710193 Ye-
Ugh xD;;

Same, ehe nwn She's a workaholic,,, like me-

I believe it's called oakmont's or oakfron'ts??? >> It's a Nova table, a big black plush table huhu
You mother fuc-


Wh,,, No. :/ xDD
Not here,,, no bueno happy endings--

Pft-
shush xDD Annoyin-

Yeah
I'm a lil' storage rat who has a little savings account, ehe. So I can practically pay off everything I essentially require for this course huhu
I mean, I may have to take a tiny loan out, but so long as its not fckn overboard,,, I don't care-

It dooooo

They're subcourses in massage therapy one can take in a particular area :3c
For example someone can have more knowledge on correctly massaging out hands
while another would know how to do abdomens
There are many sub categories for massage therapists tbh? It's kind of,, interesting o wo

Aight bet
So, when I was going to school to be an OTA , they were blabbing on about our senses
y'know, hearing, sight, taste- blah blah
They say touch, but like
in OT they're more specific with going 'tactile' (:

And that's because of different textures one may feel .

As for explaining how it forms an emotional connection, I'll have to look into which hormone it is in particular that gets released to create that emotional connection.
However, what I DO know is that an hour massage could lower cistrol development by 30% , and increases serotonin by 28% .
o wo [b sits in nerd]

Shoosh-
Being all,, sad and feeling meaningless (: That's all-
  |Admin| / Joo- / 37d 23h 31m 48s
Haha here we are huh?
No I know you didn't mean that at me haha xD

Oh yeah you texted me that xD
Glad she got sleep.

Your table?? What kinda table?
Lifetime warranty sounds fucking awesome to me.
[b Breaks the table]
xD

1000 For that table? DAMN MONECK.
Better come with blowjobs and candy! XD

Sub wallets in tears?

I'm glad it makes you happy though hun.

Workshops?

Tactile touch?
They got something like that in Japan.
They call it... Cuddle cafes.
LMAO JKJK
Explain to me what is tactile touch and how does it form an emotional relationship?

You just?
What way before?
[b He tackle hugs into her]
Also I'm proud you are striving for all of these things! That's good.
  Naofumi / ShieldHero- / 38d 15h 8m 39s
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