[i “If I can’t have you, no one can”.. Something everyone’s heard at least once or twice while in relationships.. But what happens when it truly comes with a price?]
[#e84a70 [b Muse A was the boyfriend/ girlfriend to Muse B who happened to be in a gang. Everything in the beginning was almost a dream come true. They were happy and so very in love. Or that was until Muse B happened to become so wrapped up in their role of the gang that they no longer could separate their gang self from who they were with Muse A.
Muse A tried to give Muse B multiple chances. Tried to see them as the one they had fallen for. But the more that time passed, the harder that was. Only could they see their former lover as the monster they’d become.
“If you leave me, remember this.. If I can’t have you, then no one else can” Muse B said to A the night they left them.
Now sixth months later, Muse A is starting to try and move on in their life. They’ve changed jobs, met new friends, and are even starting to fall in love again. The threat that their ex made is nowhere in mind and they just think it’s a threat.
Muse A starts to date the new person and for a little while everything seems fine. But what they don’t know is B has been watching the whole time. And the more B watches, the stronger the feeling of betrayal and hurt gets. Keeping to their word, Muse B offs Muse A’s new lover.
So now, A knows what B meant. They would not be the one to suffer but those around them would.
Where does this leave the sanity of both? And who wins the game of Love and Lust? Or will there be nothing more but a bitter end to the messed up tale?
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Blue eyes locked on the woman who had been her whole world for at least the last four years easily and her jaw clenched. Pris had been sharp tongued, but she had NEBER been outright mean or vicious as she was to Hailey. And what was even worse was there was a fraction of what the woman said that happened to be true. She was STILL in love with her ex deep down. But that didn't mean that she was playing with Hale's heart. She was just taking things with her new girlfriend slow and HOPING that she would be able to fall for her. Hoping that maybe she would be able to heal and to move on from Pris. So far though..it hadn't been working out as she had hoped. The fact that she had even run after the woman whom she had run from.
[b "Hailey...."] Grace whispered as the woman at her side IMMEDIATELY dropped her hand. There were tears in her eyes as she walked, no more like sprinted away. It was obvious that she had believed EVERYTHING that had been said. And sharply, Grace turned her gaze back to Priscilla as her arms crossed. Of course she was still scared of the other woman because she KNEW how she had been when they were together. Both the sharp tongue and the temper. [b "I didnt think you and I would be running into the other. And I sure as hell didn't think you would meet my new interest..."] She said quietly, though she did ache to be close to her. Even if just for a moment to be in her arms. Pris had always been her safe haven and her comfort. But she had to push those thoughts away.
When the words were said, the same words that had been said the night she had left, Grace froze. Actually up until now she had forgotten that they had been said. But thinking about it made sense now. She had been TRYING to make Hailey leave and to hurt. Well that was great to know. [b "So many times I tried to talk to you..but you always were busy. Or it felt like it fell on deaf ears. And I was scared. So running seemed the best way so we could both live our lives."] Came her soft and pained words. And it was the truth.
In moments, it was like a dream. The encounter was anyway. Because Pris had all but pushed her way past her and she was staring at an empty alleyway. Slowly, Grace shook her head and her hand found their way into her pockets. This was just a fluke. They wouldn't be seeing the other again. She had to believe that if she hoped to try and move on with her life. And so while trying to convince herself, Grace began to walk the alleyway and follow it until getting back to Rosen St. where her home was located on tbe corner. After the little encounter, she REALLY needed tea or something to calm down because like Pris, her tears were falling and didn't seem to want to stop.
The female was trying to catch her breath, as her eyes stayed on her ex lover. Priscilla sigh intently as her eyes scanned the area as Priscilla needed a way to escape. She had no idea where she was gonna go. Priscilla closed her eyes for a moment, trying to collect her thoughts together. Thinking about everything that they have been together. Priscilla honestly missed the female a lot. But Grace broke up with her. If they ever decided to get back together. She would make sure that Grace is the one that is coming back begging for her. Priscilla didn’t want to seem like she was some desperate girl. Priscilla opened her eyes, seeing that Grace was coming Priscilla’s way.
Priscilla started to feel her heart to start beating against her chest. How was she even going to remotely respond to everything that she has been seeing? Priscilla pursed her lips and then closed her eyes for a moment again. Priscilla knew this was going to be fun. The one thing she knew was to make sure her feelings don’t go in the way. She will always love Grace, so she will be determined to make sure that this little girlfriend of hers wouldn’t last at all.
Priscilla looked up as she saw that Grace was right in front of her. Priscilla locked eyes with her for a moment, and then she saw the female catch up and was next to her Grace, looking at her. Asking her a billion questions at once. Priscilla looked between the two, honestly thinking about what her next move was going to be. Was Priscilla going to be that heartless? Deep down, she wanted Grace to be happy. And it was pretty obvious that she wasn’t happy with Priscilla. Not with the lifestyle that she was living. Well, was living. She wasn’t really living that lifestyle anymore.
Priscilla smirked. [b “Grace. Who’s your whore?”] Priscilla looked at the other female, and then laughs. Priscilla looked at the female, as her jaw dropped. [b “Sweetheart, you are just wasting your time with her. You know that she will never be over me. I don’t even see why you are trying right now.”] Priscilla cocked an eyebrow at her. [b “Deep down she is still madly in love with me and you are only in the picture because she doesn’t want to be lonely anymore. She doesn't actually care about you. She will eventually toss you to the side.”] Priscilla watched as the female dropped Grace’s hand and walked away. Priscilla rolled her eyes. This female would be no good for Grace anyways, because she was believing the things that Priscilla was saying.
[b “Geez Grace - if you are going to do date someone, you could at least choose someone that won’t believe a word I say.”] Priscilla rolled her eyes, and then looked Grace up and down. Priscilla can feel herself becoming cold again. In reality, Priscilla just wanted to wrap her up in her arms, and hold her for a lifetime. But Priscilla couldn’t let that side show. Priscilla pursed her lips lightly, as she fixed her jacket, holding it tight to her tiny little body. [b “Do you not remember what I said? I told you that if I can’t have you then no one can.”] Priscilla eyes were ice cold while she was looking at Grace. [b “You broke me, Grace. Instead of running, we could have fixed our problems. But no, you rather run. Want to know something? I haven’t been part of that lifestyle for a hot minute now. Ever since you broke up with me. I left that life behind. But we all know one thing - you ain’t over me at all. That part was true. Deep down you still love me. You just don’t want to admit it. But now, you can feel like shit, because the one thing you wanted was for me to leave that old life behind, and I did.”] Everyone was watching the two. Priscilla looked around, ice in her voice and ice in her eyes. [b “Maybe next time believe me when I say, if I can’t have you then no one can,”] she hissed at Grace, and scooted right pass her, and walked down the street, as tears were streaming down the females face.
Months, it had been months since she had broken up with Pris and she still felt terrible. She had seen the other young woman hurt and she had promised to never do that to her. But really, what could she have done? The other's two lives were constantly mixing and that in itself had scared Grace to no ends. She no longer felt safe and she missed the happiness and the love that the two had once shared.
[#be5cf5 "Sweetheart, are you okay? You've gone quiet... if you are thinking about your ex, you know you can talk to me. You can tell me anything, Grace and I won't judge you for it.."] Hailey said as her hand gave Grace's a squeeze and she gently kisses her cheek.
That was right...She was in town with her new girlfriend, Hailey. They had only been dating about a month and so it was hard for Grace not to still think about Pris. [b "I'm sorry, Hales.. I was thinking about her...But I'm not ready to talk about. How about we go to the cafè for lunch? I think they have your favourite sandwhich special."] The young woman said, her hand giving the other young woman's a squeeze and she leaned her head on her shoulder. Priscilla was her past...had to be.. And maybe, just maybe Hailey could be her future.
Her thoughts had just finished when she thought she saw Priscilla. It had been only a moment but then the other was gone. Running through the crowd and the darkness. IF she was right and it had been her ex.. There was going to be some serious hell to pay. And without thinking, Grace's hand did let Hailey's go and she ran off, pushing her own way through the crowd to see if she could catch up, Hales on her heels and calling after her.
It’s been a few months since Priscilla has heard from Grace. Which she could understand, because she was pretty mad at her ex lover. After that day, Priscilla kind has been doing things on her own. She didn’t want to associate with anyone or literally talk to anyone. She was still doing what she was doing when she was with Grace. None of that has changed. Priscilla would see Grace every once in a while. Priscilla was a jealous girl and wanted to make sure that no one was near her. She hasn’t seen anyone, which was good. But today was going to be an interesting day. Priscilla had an odd feeling about something.
Priscilla decided that was gonna go into town today. Just kind of just hanging around, see if anything has changed. Priscilla is never in town anymore. She is always out of town. It made it where she wouldn’t accidentally run into Grace. Priscilla took in a deep breath. Priscilla decided that she would just kind of lurk around. Maybe go to the cafe. At this moment, she wasn’t really sure at all.
Priscilla gulped as she shoved her hands into her hoodie’s pockets, then she chewed on her lip. She could literally feel her heart banging against her chest. Priscilla wasn’t enjoying this feeling at all. She wanted to know why she felt like this at the moment. Priscilla dark eyes scanned the area as she bit her lip lightly. Then she had a feeling it would have to do with Grace. What would the female do if she saw her ex lover? The better question would be what would she do if she Grace with another female? Priscilla gritted her teeth at the thought of that. Priscilla knew she needed to calm down before she got herself worked up.
Priscilla then saw something out of the corner of her eye. She then looked over and realized it was Grace. Priscilla felt all the sadness rush over her body. Priscilla just watched her from afar. She looked so beautiful. But then the whole mood changed when she saw the person next to her. Another female. She had no idea who she was. Priscilla watched them both carefully. Watching Grace become close to her a lot. Priscilla felt her ball her fists up, and then she realized that Grace and her new lover were coming this way. Priscilla started to rush through the crowd, and then she disappeared into the darkness.
The last thing she had ever wanted to do was to hurt Priscilla. The woman had been her world and best friend since they had met. But just as time went on, Grace had noticed the change that came over the other. It was like she was no longer the her that she had fallen so madly in love with. She seemed darker and angrier somehow. It was also like she never really seemed to have time for her anymore and was always coming back late. Pris had promised in the beginning that NOTHING would ever come between them..but now..now Grace wasn't too sure.
When the other had gotten back, the young woman had led her to the couch and asked that they talk. Of course she didn't have any of this planned out. But she needed to "set the cards on the table" before she chickened out. And the best policy was honesty, right? Or that was what EVERYONE always said. Though the moment she began, Grace wished she could stop. She wished that she could take it all back. But she couldn't and she had told her girlfriend..well now ex-girlfriend how she had been feeling and watched the emotions play in those eyes of the woman she loved as she sat there frozen.
Was it seconds or was it minutes later? Honestly she couldn't tell but Pris stood and had shouted her words. [b "Pris..this isn't about that. You know I-I love you...But I can't do this...do us like this anymore."] She tried to explain but it seemed on deaf ears. Because soon, the other woman stormed downstairs with a bag and shot the words [i “Remember this, Grace. If I can’t have you, no one can.”] At her and was out the door and driving off into the night.
The young woman stood frozen in fear. She knew she had made a HUGE mistake..but had no idea the true costs to come.
Life was super busy. Trying to keep up the role of a gang member, and trying to be a girlfriend at the same time. There were certain things that had to be done when you were in a gang. Even being a girlfriend there was certain things you had to do as well. Life was pretty good, until everything was a big blur to Priscilla. She was mixing her two lives together. Priscilla knew it was getting bad. Especially since things were going downhill between her and Grace.
Priscilla looked out the window as she was sitting in this musky office, listening to her next task. Some days, she enjoyed her job, but other days, she just absolutely despised her job. Priscilla had this feeling. This feeling that wasn’t really good. Priscilla was already having a bad day as is, as she didn’t really want to be at work at the moment. She wanted to be home with her girlfriend. Priscilla really hated how most of the time she wasn’t home until night time. And this feeling she was having. She couldn’t shake it off. No matter how hard she tried to shake the feeling, she just couldn’t do it. Priscilla sighed as she looked at the male that was talking, and took her task, nodded her head, and went on with her day.
It was pretty dark by the time Priscilla got done with her task. She went back to headquarters and checked in with them. It was time for her to go home. She didn’t care how long they wanted her to stay. She knew something was going to happen. And not good either. She got into her vehicle, and drove home. Her thumb kept tapping on the steering wheel, as she was trying to calm herself down. Priscilla pulled into the driveway, and saw the lights to the house were still on. Which meant that Grace was up. Priscilla took in a deep breath as she shut off her car and walked up to the door. She stared intently at the door as she figured something was going to be happen. She had a pretty good idea what was going to happen as she opened up the front door…
Priscilla looked at Grace as she could tell something was going on in that head of hers. Before Priscilla could even ask what was going on, she heard the words, ‘We need to talk,’ slip out of her girlfriend’s mouth. Priscilla just watched her for a moment, and then nodded slowly. [b “Okay, what would you like to talk about?”] Priscilla sat down next to her on the couch, as she could feel her heart racing and beating against her chest.
Grace then started to explain on how she felt, and that she was breaking up with Priscilla. At first, it took Priscilla to even comprehend what was said. Priscilla had to think how she was going to react. Priscilla wasn’t sure herself. All she knew she was extremely hurt. Because now even her gang life scared Grace away. Priscilla got up, and felt herself getting angry. [b “That’s fine Grace. You want to leave, that’s fine. Leave like everyone else.”] Immediately, Priscilla went upstairs, packed a small bag, and then headed back the stairs once more, gripping onto her bag. The female wasn’t even for sure where she was going to go, but she didn’t want Grace to know that. She didn’t want Grace to know anything anymore.
Priscilla stopped dead in her tracks, as she looked over and obviously saw Grace upset. [b “Remember this, Grace. If I can’t have you, no one can.”] Priscilla slightly growled and snarled at her, opening the door and slamming the door behind her. Priscilla got into her car, and took off into the night.
[i We used to be so close. She was the sweetest girl that I had met and I remember that when we met we were both shy. And then we got to talking and it all melted away. I know it's silly but it felt like a missing piece had been found. So we decided to hang out more and more.. Movies, clubs, random walks at night.. You name it and we probably did it. Finally, Pris asked me to be her girlfriend and it was the best day of my life. I remember feeling fully happy and loved. Still we were so close.. But then I found out she was hiding something from me.. She was in a gang! When I asked she told me the truth and I loved her still. I wanted us to work because NO ONE had ever made me feel the way that she did. She was my world. So we tried and tried again. At first everything seemed fine but then I noticed her gang-self became mixed with the woman I loved. She was changing so much and before my eyes too..and I couldn't stop it. The worst part about this....I have to break up with her..but I don't want to..She was the love of my life...and to an extent always will be. I just can"t do this anymore though..]
Blue eyes looked down at the journal page she had just written. She had been writing things like this a lot lately and often had to keep this particular notebook hidden from Priscilla because she didn't want to fight. Mostly the writing helped her clear her head and think things through. Or that was what Grace told herself. But the more she reread older entries and wrote new ones, the closer she came to breaking up with her girlfriend. Well actually this one DID make the decision..she just had to follow through.
The young woman looked to the clock and bit her lip. Pris would be home any minute and she had to decide whether to do this or not. [b "If I don't this time...I'm never going to. I guess it's time to as they say face the music."] She whispered as she hid the notebook and sat at the table, eyes on the door.
It was when the came in did Grace give a weak smile. [b "Pris...we have to talk.."] She began as she stood. And soon she was explaining a basic of what she had written. She ended telling the woman that she loved her and always would BUT she just couldn't do this anymore.
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