She could tell how much this was hurting Kenna. And it hurt her too. But she still couldn't stay because she didn't trust herself in not hurting her sister or the others. It was so easy for her to lose control. Even in these moments, Lex felt almost as if she happened to be dangling by a thread that could snap at any moment.
[b "No...I don't mind this ring at all. It...Kenna thank you."] She said as her eyes went to the ring. She was surprised that Kenna had remembered it. But at the same time she was more than thankful for it. She would need her mom and sister for this...her mother's ring, but having Kenna's magic that had changed the ring so she could be in the sunlight.
Lex hugged Kenna when she was hugged and let out a soft sound, almost like the whine of a puppy. She really didn't want to go. [b "I will come back when I have better control. Right now this is too dangerous... I love you.."] She whispered before she stepped back and soon flashed upstairs. It was getting too hard to control her blood lust.
"It doesn't need to be this way. They know what it's like, and I can only imagine. You'd have all the time you need to adjust to...the change..." Kenna felt herself almost pleading, but bit her cheek on that. It was her choice only she didn't want her to go. Everyone always did.
"You'll need the bag by the door. I hope you didn't mind it was that ring...just remember. If Nik can say he loves someone, you have all the hope in the world, okay? You'll always be who you are and come back. I have them sealed towards the back."
Kenna felt like she was swallowing her emotions before she hugged Lexie despite the dangers. "Come back to me. I need you."
The girl was leaning against the wall when Kenna had come down with the ring and tossed it to her. She was in enough control for the time being and flashed to her sister to give her a quick hug and then flashed back to the wall she had been against, putting the ring on.
[b "You're my sister and I love you.. So I wouldn't ask you to be sorry. Just I wish it wasn't like this. They were right you feel it all and so much more deeply. I hope to hell you never have to go through this..."] Lexie said quietly as she was looking at the stairway passed Kenna.
She was silent for a moment and then looked to the other. [b "Do you think you can get rid of everyone if only for an hour? I don't want to stay here... I can't until I learn to control this."] It was said more as begging than anything. She did NOT want to be a prisoner or like a caged animal. And right now both were what she felt like. Besides if and when she turned it off she did NOT want to hurt those she had come to love and who were so dear to her. She could not let that happen.
Damon shook his head stiffly remembering all the times that Stefan went off and the centuries of guilt.
What a drag that was. "Then you you do it," Damon answered simpler before flashing off. He'd be there to visit her later. Right now he needed a drink and kill someone.
The next morning Kenna was there, having prepared a protection spell. In her pocket there was a ring. There was the debate on turning her off. Sealing the access off she with magic she came down.
"Here's your ring. Turn yourself off if you want, you know how to. I'm not sorry for this," Kenna said tossing her the ring. " You're my sister, and I love you, but you'll just have to learn and live with what you do."
This was probably the worst idea that he could suggest. He knew what it was like turning off the humanity. They all did. "The only way to convince her in it not being a good idea is to let her do it and to lose her control just once. Seeing the things she has done will wake her up." Elijah said quietly.
It was more something Nik would suggest and he knew that. But he also knew that it took harsh realities to make the point hit home.
Nik was almost ready for her to last again. He knew what he was saying was not as eloquently put as Elijah would have. But he had never been one to truly be soft or to sugar coat what he said. So how she took what he said was up to her. And he did mean what he was saying.
So for a moment he was still and silent, waiting to see what she would say and how she would react. When none came and just a kiss to the cheek had, the man did realx abit. It seemed she was calmer which was what he had been trying for. And soon, he too was heading back, more less following after her
Somehow that was what she wanted to hear the most and least. It was a confusing thought but seemed to halt the whirling emotions.
Stopping any actions she looked to him judging if this was a ploy or not. Only she knew she felt weird around him in a way she wasn't used to. After taking a breath she stepped to him.
Kissing his cheek gently, seemingly calmer and started back to the house.
"My brother is a ripper. He goes to human blood and looses control. It's hard to reign him in. he'd know what to do. You're close enough, what would you do?"
Damon took the drink beginning quickly on it. That basement would only work for a while.
Elijah had a glass of whiskey in hand and handed it to Damon when the man had come up and given the sad shake of his head. He had been listening the whole time in case he had needed to step in. And he did feel for Damon caring and trying to help and he also felt for the young woman taking the change so harshly.
"You know it is hard to change minds on this. Look how long it has taken us to accept our fate. Some of us still don't want to." Elijah said quietly. It wasn't a comfort but a simple truth. "But we can't give up on her either. As you said who we once were never truly dies..it just takes time in finding them again."
"What do you think I want from you, Kenna? And yes I had done those things. But I have not compelled you since you have been with us this time. Everything you have done has been your own choice." The man said evenly and then sighed.
"Look I am so hard on you because I believe in you. I don't want to see you become the way I am.. I would even go as far as to say that I do love you."
He was not Stefan and had the super stare that managed to soften Bambi and everyone else.
Instead he just watched her for a moment before nodding. This was what they all went through, most just didn't want to be turned off so soon. "This won't make sense...but that person never dies...she'll always be there. Even Klaus."
Starting up the stairs to where Elijah was he shook his head sadly.
"That is such crap. You've done this to me since the first time we really met, in fact you had to compel me to do anything. I have no idea how many times I need to ask what you want from me. What do you want from me, Nik?" Kenna asked in exasperation. That temper wouldn't flow but those old cupboards would be blown to pieces.
She wouldn't back down even if she knew he was right. It didn't mean that she didn't need to be around.
This was getting frustrating. She knew that the man cared and wanted to look out for her, but this was her life. She had become the ONE thing no one had wanted for her to become all because she had fallen for someone and that SOMEONE happened to be what led her to her death. That someone happened to be right in front of her now. And she hated herself for having let herself fall like that. Hated him for making her care about him.
[b "If you won't help me figure it out then I will find someone who will. You said I am not like you and the others. That had been the HUMAN me...now I am. Because the girl I was died out there."] She said quietly and flashed away from the man, her back to him.
"That was by no means me getting into your head and stepping on toes. It was speaking from the sense of someone being there and having done it. But you can think what you like as you always do." Klaus said evenly. But the matter remained that he WAS stepping on her toes and he was trying to make her release some of that anger.
Her saying for him and Elijah to leave when Lexie calmed down had him stiffen. "Do you honestly trust her not to try and hurt you? You saw how she was tonight and that right there is like asking for a death wish."
Kenna's breath caught in that moment before closing her eyes. She couldn't let herself become that and she was just on that edge.
"Do you really think that you can just jump right inside my head here? Come and just step on my toes?" Kenna asked feeling her temper flare up before taking a breath. "Yes, it felt good, and now I feel horrible. Weak for loving my sister and she died and maybe will come back."
It was right there, telling them to go and not come back.
"I want you and Elijah to go for a few days when she's calmed down. I want my fucking space, she needs her space. We aren't you guys and will never be."
"You think it will never come back. But it does, seeps in...and then you come back. Afterwards you live with everything you've done, feeling everything and plus some from what you did. I can't do that to you, Lexie. I care about you and can't help you hurt yourself," Damon answered with those fire in his eyes.
"Everyplace will feel the same. You will kill indiscriminately, and nothing will be enough..."
Klaus couldn't help a smirk at her words as she had called him the more irritating person she had met. Oh he knew it was not a good thing but the very comment had him amused. She still had fight and the flare that had attracted him to her in the first place. "Honestly do you listen to anyone?" The man asked. Because as far as he knew and as long as she had been with them, Kenna had not fully listened either. He had said it before about them being similar and the thought hit him again in this instance.
"And you enjoyed it? lt gave you a sense of power you had never felt before? I've been there and done it. Still do it. So it's nothing new to me, love. You're talking to someone who has killed for the power it gives and the sense of satisfaction." Klaus said, arms becoming crossed. "And I think I would love for you to tell me."
The man was pushing it but clearly didn't care. He knew if she tried to pent up her anger that it would just get worse.
[b "And why won't you? What is the worse that can happen if you can't feel?"] The girl asked. The stroking of her hair kept her calm enough. But she deep down she was still angry. Hurting even and she was wanting revenge.
[b "I just don't want this...I don't want to be her. Please Damon. I'm begging you."]
Damon froze at the request before looking to her. He didn't move his hand and stroked more before kissing her forehead.
"I can't do that to you, Lex. Because I care about you," Damon said simply knowing Elijah was right outside there. If anything he'd just have his neck broken. Like that that hadn't happened before.
He had turned off his emotions one too many times, and each time it was a rush of what he had done.
"You really are the most irritating person I've met. Never met anyone that just won't listen to anyone..." Kenna placed her hand on her temple. It was her fault but just needed that moment to breath and there was always a Mikaelson.
"I...I killed that woman knowingly, and didn't feel anything. And even now I feel justified. I'm not supposed to. And..." she stopped trying to not let the moment keep rising. "You don't want me to answer that right now."
The man's arms crossed over his chest as he let the young woman say what she was going to say. He honestly did know what she was going through. Perhaps more than she thought. But he had had to learn that in some instances it was the best thing and you had to learn not to feel so it would not eat you alive.
"You want the truth? No we don't know how to give a minute. Because in times like this being alone isn't for the best. It only allows you to wallow in both self hate and pity. It will eat at you and that is a fact. Knowing you killed someone you cared about because you thought it was saving them. But the matter is that it can't be changed or taken back now." He had said he would not sugar coat it or make excuses and he meant it.
Life was hard and it would never get easier. And he did feel bad for her in that sense but it also made a person stronger and know just what they were capable of. "Space how, Kenna?" He asked, now flashing to her side.
Her eyes came up to look at the man as he spoke. Did she want the help? Would it even work for her? Those were sort of things she was debating.
[b "Teach me how to turn it off...I don't want to feel this...you said it was possible."] She whispered. Anything at this rate seemed better.
"God, you guys really don't know how to give a moment. Do you? Is there something wrong with that?" Kenna deflected, clear agitation in her voice. She couldn't stop moving her hand or stay still. "And is this a good thing? Looking someone in the eye as they die? Thinking you're saving someone, when you're killing them all over again?"
Out here it wasn't likely that she wouldn't lose control of herself. It was becoming very close. Keeping her distance from him she turned to face him for a moment before turning back around. "We need some space."
"I didn't want to turn either....I wanted to die rather than kill...it was Stefan who forced me to. And he became this monster. Then he was good again, after another Lexie came into his life, and then...what I'm trying to say is..." Damon stroked her hair once again knowing that this was hard.
"You won't be a monster. Stefan is not a monster, he's wonderful, and I've always resented him for that. If you want...he can help you...much more than I can. But I understand, Lexie. And what you're going through, I felt."
"With the way this is going she may have to turn it off for a little while. At least until she can handle it." Nik said as he was finally able to get back to his feet. The little witch now turned vampire had done quite a number and was certaintly stronger than he had anticipated.
"Do you think you can keep her calm on your own or shall I send Elijah to help? Because I have a girl to chase." Even from the basement he had been able to hear the words that had passed between the two and the slamming of the door.
He didn't really wait for the answer before he flashed up the stairs and out of the house.
"You know you will never be us. But I also will not try and excuse this as Elijah did. There is the fact that even the purest of hearts are not excempt from the lures of darkness. And it would appear that is where this seems to be leading both you and your sister." Unlike Elijah, Nik would not sugar coat it but only because he knew she could handle the hard truth and preferred it straight out.
[b "But what if I don't get this?! I don't want to be Nik! I don't want to be a killing machine!"] The girl was still freaking out. She could feel her fear and even the anger she felt at losing her human life seeming to try and overcome her. If the man didn't back away she could seriously hurt him.
[b "I...I don't want to be a monster.."] She whimpered, more of a wind settling around them.
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