[center [font "Segoe Print" A place for my thoughts. Read if you wish but unless your a friend keep your comments to yourself.]]
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[center Your gone..just like that in a matter of days..everything was fine the last I saw you. Suddenly my world got turned upside down. Everything came crashing down. You just..no one could of seen it coming. I feel so broken inside, so tired. WHy? Why now? WHy did you have to go? It's easy for me to pretend everythings okay. Focus on everyone elses issues. Then..then I don't have to deal. I don't have to deal with the gnawing ache inside. The emptiness that's snuck up on me.]
[center Emotionally..I'm so dead inside. I can't feel, I can't think. I just feel like there is destruction going on around me. I give up. I just want to fall asleep and never wake back up.]
[center I am so fucking sick of you sitting there blaming everything on uncle Jake. You know what? Yeah he can be mean. Yeah he can hold a grudge but he doesn't let that stop him. HE SHOWS UP ANYWAYS TO ALL OF THE STUFF FOR GRANDMA OR MOM. He has been at ALL OF MY STUFF. He's always made sure to get me a birthday card, even if it's a stupid goofy one. You? Nothing. YOu don't show up, you don't do anything. You always have a pity party. We threw you a birthday party once and what did you fucking do? NOT SHOW UP. Grandma sat at the door with a heart broken look waiting all day for your ass to not show it up.]
[center It's always you don't understand, you don't get it. You don't know what it's like. Alright, bro. I don't know what it's like to feel unincluded. Even though I have literally sat there ALONE while kids bring their dad's to events because mines gone. I don't know what it's like to feel seperated when people boast about all the things their dads got them and that they did with their dad's in the summer. I don't know what it's like to be depressed. Even though It's gotten so low I thought about ending my own life. But no. I don't know anything about it. Get the fuck over yourself. All you do is break your sisters fucking hearts and I could rip your fucking throat out old man. I'm so fucking sick of it.]
[center ALl you've done all your life is make problems. But it was never your fault. Now your a monster who can't even visit his EIGHTY FOUR YEAR OLD MOTHER because you got a thousand and one excuses. And one day, possibly soon, she will die and you will have to deal with the pain and regret. But you know what? I'll still see Aunt Dianna and Uncle Jake because they care. They have a connection with us. If grandma was sick or in surgery who picked us up from school? Uncle Jake. If the car broke down who was the first one to help us fix it? Uncle Jake. When grandma was having surgery who was the first to offer to watch us after school? Uncle Jake. So do not sit there and bad mouth the man whose been our uncle and been there for us in ways your sorry ass hasn't. I'm over it.]
[Center So th cycle begins again. I knew it would. I felt it. But I will not speak I'll of him. I will not push my friend to leave. I will not be a negative person and wish him ill. I dont feel like theres a reason or point. It's sad it happened but I'll be there for my sister, my friend. Her finding her happiness amist the storm is what matters to me. And no matter how terrifying the storm is I wont leave. Because shes been there through my storm. I'll stand beside her.]
[center I've Finally, FINALLY gotten myself a job. I'm so excited for it you have no idea. I start on Monday and I only hope that I do well and keep the job. I'm somewhat starting to peak out of my depression. I'm realizing that there are certain people who shouldn't be in my life. I'm also realizing a lot of things about myself. I'm slowly, but surely, becoming who I want to be. A pagan, a nature lover, a witch. The more I am myself the more alive I feel. It's..amazing honestly. I just hope I can meet someone who believes the same that I do.]
[Center I have trouble believing you changed. I keep hearing it but I've yet to see it. "Shes not angry anymore" then why block my witch Facebook for no fucking reason. I ain't messaged you. I dont give two flying fucks. I cant believe you ain't saying what she wants to hear till I see it. And so far I am seeing the same old cycle.]
[center It's hotter than the nine hells out there and I am slowly melting. I can not wait for my SIL to go back to work. I love her but she's driving me up a wall. Oi. PLease summer don't kill us.]
All posts are either in parody or to be taken as literature. This is a roleplay site. Sexual content is forbidden.