[google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Montserrat][Montserrat Nicolai could tell this wasn't an easy subject for her to discuss. He felt she understood what he was getting at, trying to tell her this was not some light illness that could be managed and wouldn't impact their lives but that it may take him at any moment. However discussing ones mortality and the ease with which he could be here and then gone was not simple or simply brushed aside. Even when she tried to justify it with talk of the Taken it came out rather macabre and a wry smile tugged at his lips.[+royalblue “I know it isn't something easy to talk about.”] He shifted very slightly, hands still holding her full figure close to him to share their warmth, yet he managed to dip his head and his eyes opened to look at her.
Leaning forward briefly he kissed her, a light and fleeting moment as if to thank her but also to quash any concerns he may have brought forth. Easing back his hands squeezed appreciatively.[+royalblue “I'm sorry, it's not pleasant I just haven't had anyone to talk about it with. And after last night I feel like I can be more honest with you.”] It was odd to admit that aloud but it felt the right thing to tell her, to let her know she held such a lofty seat within his inner world. It was his way of telling her that no longer was she shunned or pushed aside and withheld from his thoughts but that she had broken through and now she had access to the more demure and tainted parts of his soul.[+royalblue “Look, I know we can't see the future, we can't know what day will be our last, but I worry and I always will. I have spent so long wanting and trying to keep you and Augustine safe and happy that if something stops me from protecting you two it leaves me fearful for what is to come.”] Whether it was from his illness or being injured in a fight, he had always felt the need to be strong and in control was his only means of helping them. They may have toyed with the idea the night before that he was not the best General, but he was, at his base element, a man with a sword and a determination to keep them safe.
[+royalblue “I know you will argue I offer more, that I can be more than a mere guard, but I know my limits and this illness and... I worry that as we get close to the end I may be left a mere guard unable to raise his sword and fight. Being a burden on you all is worse than doing nothing at all.”] The exasperation in his voice was blatantly clear and he released a gentle sigh as he looked down, away from her gaze as if not wanting to see her agree or see the pity in her eyes.[+royalblue “I'm being an idiot, I know. Just… just tell me to shut up and tell me you like me again. That helps.”] He tried to show his humility, that he understood how ridiculous he was being, and a softer smile turned the corners of his lips as his bright eyes came back up to hers. He was like this at times with Elizabeth, though loathe to admit it now, where he needed her encouragement. Sometimes he could let his inner demons become too powerful and he just needed this strong, bright eyed woman to remind him he wasn't alone.
His admission was obviously not ideal. It was not really something Florence wanted to think about either, but it also was not a topic that should be swept under the rug, and she knew that. And so she nodded along with what he was saying, an acknowledgement that she had heard him and was processing it a bit before she gave her actual response. She knew what it was like to be sickly, but not in this sense. Her own ailment was predictable and while it could be debilitating, Florence did not really have to worry about it suddenly killing her, not if she managed herself properly. However, despite all this, she had something else that could act as a point of comparison and so she could relate to his feelings, even if it was not quite the same.
[+mediumseagreen “It was my understanding from the beginning of this we were going for something more.”] The whole goal for her was to build something solid so she might have a chance to move passed some of her own issues and feel normal for once. Florence did not think that was possible with something fleeting or temporary, but given their tendency to clash against one another, she could see why he might have felt otherwise. [+mediumseagreen “But I understand your reluctance to push this to front and center.”] Seldom did anyone want to dwell on their own mortality. She was no different, but here they were. [+mediumseagreen “I do not want to lose you...”] she knew how painful it would be. [+mediumseagreen “But I am not going to let that stop me from being with you. This happiness now is worth it... It is the same for you too, is it not?”] Perhaps this would have been an apt time to pull back enough to look at him, however she was content to let their closeness be enough to convey her sentiments, especially in the way her hand gripped his just a little bit tighter. [+mediumseagreen “I pissed off a band of mercenary assassins... I do not imagine they want to talk it out.”] The only reason she could figure why they had not killed her when they had an agent in Astoria was because they had other options to inflict suffering onto her. Now that they were back on the Taken’s turf, it was unlikely that would be the case anymore. Not as soon as they figured out their little group was here. But that was not really the point of what she was saying here. [+mediumseagreen “By coming back to this country we are risking our lives, we could be found at any time and that would be the end.”] This was coming out much more morbid than she intended. [+mediumseagreen “...I guess what I am trying to say is life is unpredictable. Anything could happen tomorrow, whether it be illness or something else entirely, but that never stopped me from wanting this.”] Florence had heard the apprehension in his voice, but she could not tell if it stemmed from a fear of death or from the fact that she might reject him in light of his condition. So, in the end she decided to focus on the latter, as it was something she could try to comfort him in and do so sincerely.
[google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Montserrat][Montserrat It had been a tremendously nerve racking moment for Nicolai to place his illness so openly before her. Yes he had managed to quell the worst of the tremors, subdued his own body back into some semblance of normalcy, but it was unnerving for him to just place his hand to her and make it so apparent. She said all the right words and had a way with language that often subdued him and left him quite humbled, yet the belief that he had to be strong and physically imposing was a societal trait he would find hard to overcome. Men with illnesses were pitied and shunned. He wanted to personally feel he was perfect as much as hear her say he was. It was an odd masculine flaw.
Closing his eyes as she pressed her hand atop his he was grateful for the kind way she showed her acknowledgement. It was sweet and it was gentle, though he felt a touch shameful for having hid it to begin with given how she was reacting. He had expected her to shout at him or shame him. This reaction… it was new, and whilst refreshing it threw him off a little as he was unsure how to respond. His hand's squeezed her a little, their chests pushed together, her thigh pulled closer.[+royalblue “You have to know… it could take me at any time...”] It was said very softly, trepidation in his voice and it was good that he wasn't looking at her less the fear show in his gaze.[+royalblue “I can't let you be in the dark on that any longer, not if we're going for something more.”]
That was a bit of a double-edged sword. On one hand she was glad to not have to worry about parting too soon, but on the other she hated to know his suffering would be prolonged over the course of the next several days. Nicolai did not seem all to thrilled at the prospect either, though it seemed he was already plotting how to lessen the torment, much as she was. That was until he shimmied in closer to her and she decide not to squander the present on thoughts of the future.
[+mediumseagreen “It takes more than that to scare me.”] Perhaps it was probably truer to say it took different kinds of things to scare her, but Florence felt as though her comment got the sentiment across tolerably well. More so when he pulled them closer together, bodies flush to one another. It brought a slight smile to her face, even if his words were mildly self-depreciating. [+mediumseagreen “And there is nothing for you to be scared of either.”] Her head tilted ever so slightly, as she spoke the warm words. They matched her expression, though her green eyes stayed locked to his violet ones as his gaze traveled over her features. However, that connection was lost when he gingerly brought their foreheads together. She had been happy to watch his beautiful eyes, but this was good in its own way. The self-consciousness at being watched as she spoke dissipated. [+mediumseagreen “I have a bad habit of overlooking the flaws of those who I am closest with.”] This was most apparent in her son and her brother, though she was certain Nicolai had already noticed that ten times over. [+mediumseagreen “I am already convinced you are worthy of me,”] whatever that meant, [+mediumseagreen “and I cannot help but think you are fast approaching perfect in my eyes.”] Wrapped up in the moment, it was terribly difficult to see how he was not perfect, but to say such would be admitting something she wasn’t quite sure was true. Or rather, if it was, she had not admitted it to herself yet.
Florence had taken note of the minute tremble of the elf’s hand on her leg no sooner than he placed it there; she opted to leave it be while she continued with what needed to be said. She knew he did not want to be viewed as weak or worthy of pity, but as she spoke, she could not help but think this was exactly the sort of thing she was talking about. So, taking her hand that had fallen around him when he turned, she placed it over his on her thigh, quelling the barely noticeable shaking with a light pressure. [+mediumseagreen “And I do mean all of you, my dear.”] She hoped that this knowledge might deter him from hiding his episodes from her, in much the way he seemed to have done just a short while earlier. The woman hoped to be able to support him as much as he did her, though that would be hard if he continued to feel shame over circumstances out of his control. But change was a process and she knew it. Florence just hoped he might come to be more comfortable relying on her with such things in time.
[google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Montserrat][Montserrat Nicolai nodded along, though he found it hard to imagine this woman drinking anyone under the table. She had done well last night, drinking quite a fair amount, but to hear her talk about drinking as if she had been some kind of professional? He doubted that. It did make him smile just a little and he shifted just a little as she leaned up to kiss his cheek, pressing her figure atop him just a little and it was gratefully welcomed. How long had he been longing for a return to these times, where a soft squeeze or gentle kiss on the cheek was a highlight to his day? Perhaps a few years. And that was just sad.
[+royalblue “Oh, not to worry, she will leave me be. The punishment will come in the next few days. I’ll be her little lackey – though I think I may use Augustine and Flora as a distraction much sooner.”] He could do without the stress of Helga haranguing him for help and servitude. It might keep his mind distracted, but for now Florence was the perfect distraction. His right hand continued its flexing to stem the lasting tremors though, he believed they were beginning to subside.
He let out a hum of indecision as his arm around her wrapped more securely about her side and his hand came flush to her stomach. Pulling her figure tighter against his side for her softness and warmth and allowing him to tangle their feet once more he shuffled a little down into the bed so that he could be on eye level with her.[+royalblue “I hope I didn’t scare you with my stories last night. I can understand if it sits at such odds with how I exhibit myself in public or even with how I am now here with you.”] He eyes flitted about her face, from her full lips to her bright gaze and back to her rosy cheeks, seemingly lost in just watching her.[+royalblue “I guess part of [i me] was and perhaps still is scared. Scared that my past held me back from being fully open to you, making me want to be someone worthy of you, not wanting to be less than perfect to you.”]
It was then that he brought his other hand across, turning onto his side a little to face her though now his chest pressed to hers. His free hand came to rest on her thigh – not in an overly sexual manner – and positioned her in a slightly more comfortable position to him. Though it was not as obvious as he thought, his fingers would tremble against. It was subtle but they would offer varying degrees of pressure as if he were playing some imaginary piano against her smooth skin. He leaned his head forward pressing his forehead against hers lightly as if to complete their connection in a manner of speaking.
Of course he felt the need to bring that up. [+mediumseagreen “Well, perhaps we could have lived without that particular comment. But it is true, so I will let you have it.”] Florence let out a short sigh. It was not one of anger, but of defeat in knowing that she may never hear the end of that. He was just lucky that kiss to her head placated her just enough to let it slide. [+mediumseagreen “With any luck, that will be the case.”] Sure some of the things they spoke of were worth repeating, especially the ones that carried on into the future with their feelings and whatnot. But the darkness of long distant pasts, that could stay there as far as she was concerned.
Florence shivered at the mention of stronger drinking alternatives, both because her stomach could not handle the idea of taking any more alcohol and she had experienced something similar long ago. [+mediumseagreen “I can remember a few nights in my youth much like that, but with moonshine…”] Obviously she was not the greatest kid in that regard. [+mediumseagreen “But my tolerance was not quite so low back then… I could drink just about anyone under the table; then came Augustine. I do not know what that boy did to me, but ever since he was born I can barely handle a decent stout without making a mockery of myself. It is a shame.”] She did not know a thing about chemistry or whatnot, but she knew after she had that child she was a complete and total lightweight. Augustus teased her terribly when she came back to Astoria.
Then the topic came back to Helga. She did not want to lose him to her, but that was the price they had to pay in order to have this time they were currently sharing. Pushing herself up, she placed a kiss on his cheek. [+mediumseagreen “Thank you. I know it is a pain, but hopefully this will get her off your back for a while… if not, we can toss Augustine at her and mention him and Flora. That should get her distracted for a good while.”] Strangely enough, the two of them were almost on the same page there. [+mediumseagreen “For now though, fingers crossed that she will get her morning chores out of the way before she comes to collect you.”] With that comment she squeezed him just a little bit, a sign that she was not ready to hand him off just yet.
[google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Montserrat][Montserrat Thankfully his arm was kept out reach of her when she wrapped her arm around him though he did proffer a kiss to the crown of her head as she settled herself closer. His left arm curled around her, stroking softly along her back though he paused momentarily to adjust the covers over her some more. He was hoping the distraction she provided in how warm she was and her conversation would help take his mind off his troubles so he pulled her in just a little tighter.
It was a pity she did not sleep better, a faint wonder if his missing figure helped toward that, but he was glad she slept continuously.[+royalblue “Oh? Even your comment about my arse? What was it again.. a 'very nice arse' I believe?”] He needed the uplift in spirits and smiled as she tilted her head up to look at him. Of course he wouldn't forget that quote. Details of what had been said by both parties would deteriorate over time but that would be held onto for quite some time.[+royalblue “I am glad we talked too. Now we never have to talk about all that ever again.”] It was said with a little relief though it was also perhaps with hope that their troubles may be behind them – most of their troubles at least.
Her fingers brushed back his hair and he closed his eyes slowly, relaxing in her gentle touch for a time. His own hand continued to trace up and down her back slowly.[+royalblue “I would put that down to drinking grain alcohol for a year in Malidek. It tastes like shit and half a cup is enough to put you on your arse but it's available in great quantity and you learn to tolerate it.”] He remembered his first few tries of it, how it had burned his throat and left his stomach twisting in painful knots. Thankfully he could enjoy more refined alcohols now; though after last night maybe not for a while yet.[+royalblue “But not to worry, you and everyone will have a nice day to relax – I will whittle away Helga's time and hold her attention as I recall all the wonderful events of the last seven years.. joy..”] He voice turned demure and glum though it held a jovial tinge to the ends of his words. He just hoped they would remember this in the future and keep the busy elder woman preoccupied should he need the time alone.
Seeing no reason for him to lie to her about this, Florence took his words at face value. Her emerald eyes attempted to follow after him as he crossed the room again. It was still difficult to make anything out, even though her vision was adjusting to the dimness. She did however hear him shuffling about in the drawers. It made her wonder what he was after over there, especially when he seemingly returned empty handed. Still, with him climbing back into bed she did not pay any mind.
Taking up his offer to come in closer, the woman laid her head against his chest with an arm over him. She was perhaps a touch warm, even for just waking up, but it was not enough to cause alarm. [+mediumseagreen “It was not as restful as I would have liked, seeing as I am still frightfully tired, but I managed not to continually wake through the night.”] That was often the case when she went to bed overly drunk. She must have not gotten to that point last night, even if she was feeling the effects elsewhere. [+mediumseagreen “But I do think it was worth it… I am glad we got the chance to say all the things we did.”] Another thing to be thankful for, all her memories were intact, it truly would be a shame if she had woke only to find the previous night was a blur.
Tilting her head up to look at what she could manage of his face, Florence smiled. [+mediumseagreen “I do hope I did not call you in too early.”] Bringing the hand slung over him up, she brushed his hair back off his brow lightly. [+mediumseagreen “You drank a good deal more than me, so it is hard to imagine you are feeling very well.”] Though that did not take into consideration her poor tolerance for liquor.
[google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Montserrat][Montserrat Noting the fatigue in her voice he was a little remorseful for not being there when she woke. It had been one of the things he enjoyed about waking up with her last time and yet now he wanted nothing more than to shut himself away and just have them all ignore him, her especially. But, he couldn't. He had done so before and come to regret it, and running away wouldn't help things.
Telling the truth though would not help either.[+royalblue “Sorry, I just needed some fresh air to clean my head a little.”] It was a good lie, his voice held its resolve and the reasoning was okay.[+royalblue “Drank a little too much last night I think. I'll be fine.”] He offered in addendum before rising up. He walked across to his drawers, opening them to put away the vial and length of wood with small cuts notched into it.
Pushing it over he quickly glanced to his right hand, lifting it to see it still shook and trembled but it was much better than before. It was like his hand was not his own and his fingers moved of their own accord. At best he could ball his hand up tightly to hide the spasms and he may be able to play it off as the lingering effects of the alcohol should she notice. Returning to the bed it was perhaps luck that he was on her right hand side keeping the bruised limb from sight, tucking himself under the sheets next to her and lifting up his left arm.[+royalblue “How did you sleep?”] He asked as he nodded for her to rest against him and make herself comfortable once more.
Giving a moment for something to happen, Florence began to expect the man had left to start his day, however, shuffling eventually came from the open door, passed the curtain. For a second he was bathed in light, looking oversaturated compared to the stark darkness of the rest of the room. And then it was nearly pitch black again. Eyes having adjusted to having a light source, the woman was essentially blind in the darkness. It did wonders for her head though. The sharp pain falling back to a dull throb, something she was more easily able to ignore.
She did not catch his outline until he was nearly upon her. The bed shifting beneath his weight confirmed it was the real thing and not a phantom made up by her searching eyes. His silhouette shifted, it looked as though he was passing something from one hand to the other, but Florence could not make enough of his movement out to be sure and she did not want to jump at shadows.
Immediately he mentioned she should go back to sleep. Florence knew he was right. She was tired and there was really no reason to be up, aside from the fact that she was missing him next to her. That bit, however, was harder to say now with all her inhibitions intact. Still, she did speak up with something. [+mediumseagreen “That goes for you as well, does it not?”] Her words were still coming through groggily. [+mediumseagreen “I just thought I would wake up to you here with me…”] While disappointed, it did not reside in her voice like the night before. Her openness was in part still there, and she hoped to continue that trend, but it would come through a little differently. In sober Florence’s own personal way. [+mediumseagreen “Is everything alright, Nicolai?”] His name was said a little softer than usual; there was more care to it. She had not noticed his tremble or the vial, but something felt off to her and she wanted to be sure he was going to be okay.
[google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Montserrat][Montserrat Stood outside in the cool sea air Nicolai was at the railing just staring out to the great expanse of open water, hair whipped about by the winds now and again and thin under shirt fluttering slowly. Sometimes as a child he would look out and imagine just taking a boat out there, out into the unknown, off to seek new lands and new adventures each day. These days when he looked out on the water he could only think the same thing; though it was so that he might become lost and forgotten. Today was one of those latter days, and was not starting well. His left hand sat atop the stone railing that ran the length of the balcony, placed atop his sword hilt though it still remained in the scabbard. In his right hand was a small piece wood and an empty vial, the stopper in place. Despite the morning sun creating a pleasant temperature, he shook – rather his right hand and arm did.
Hearing his name being called out rather weakly from the room he glanced back toward the open door. He didn't want to go in, not in the state he was in. But he knew that if he stayed out here too long the tired woman would drag herself from the bed to come fetch him. He didn't want to disturb her more than his absence had already caused and regrettably he turned back to head inside taking the sword with him. Stepping back in he saw the curtain had been blowing in the wind letting in a little too much light. He placed his sword back on his table before closing the door over and returning the curtain to its place so that she wasn't blinded too much. He looked a little gaunt, his face taut and eyes half lidded. As he returned to the bed he sat down on the edge, his back to her, and this only made the tremor in his arm appear all the more prominent. The vial and piece of wood in his right hand was quickly transferred to his newly freed hand as he feared crushing or dropping the delicate container.
From her angle it was perhaps not too easy to see, especially since he had closed over the curtain and put them back into a semi-dark state, but the outside of his right arm from the elbow up was covered by a soft red blemish. The bruising was already beginning and would only darken over the coming days, the impact of his fall having been quite severe and part of the reason why he tried to steady himself by trying to pin his arm in at his side and calm the trembling. Loathe to want to say much he had to say something,[+royalblue “You should go back to sleep. The sun hasn't been up long and everyone can take the day to rest.”] He didn't want to push anyone and hoped to give them a day to just relax and come down from such a heavy, fast and long ride from the north. Given Florence's hungover state – he wasn't completely sure but it looked that way – and his own troubles, they both could do without additional tasks or plans for the day.
As wide awake as the emerald-eyed woman thought she was, it took close to no time at all for her to fall asleep. A combination of having Nicolai close and being warm and comfortable in his bed made that possible. So after she was out like a light, she stayed that way. He may not have moved much in the night, but even if he tossed and turned, it was incredibly unlikely Florence would have noticed a thing. She was normally a heavy sleeper, but it was not generally this bad. His getting up off the soft mattress would have stirred her, however tonight was the exception. It was not till later that she woke, and holy shit she felt terrible. The water she drank before getting into bed probably helped a good deal, but her head was still killing her. The light filtering through the windows exacerbated it most of all.
Soon as she settled into her surroundings and the throbbing pain behind her eyes, she noticed that Nicolai was nowhere to be found. She vaguely recalled vocalizing her want to have a morning like the one they had missed just the other day. She knew very well that did not make her entitled to it, but Florence had thought he might oblige her. Continuing to look around, it was a little silly to think he might appear from the shadows of the room, but there was a tiny hope.
Her throat was dry, uncomfortably so. So, the woman’s attention soon turned to the cup sat on her nightstand. Taking it up, she threw back what remained. It was stale, but sated her thirst for the time being. It was highly unlikely it would do anything for her current ailment, but surely it would ease her suffering in the long run. Thirst quenched, she gave one more glance about the room. Her brain still was not working as properly as it should be through her grogginess. The sound of the waves should have let her know exactly where he was, but unable to put that together, so instead she called out. [+mediumseagreen “Nicolai?”] Her voice betrayed just how tired she still was, and now terrible she felt. Right now all she wanted was to lie back down and fall asleep, but she did not want to do that without him. It was quite the predicament.
[google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Montserrat][Montserrat Her response made him chuckle and he was a little caught off guard by how subtle that flirting moment had been. It was a toying smile and he could swear that tone was just a little bit too inviting, as if she were goading him into making that move. Knowing how sly she was it would end with him being denied and forced to fall asleep frustrated, much to her humour of course. Whilst these silly scenarios swirled about his mind she darted in for a quick, over before he had time to register and respond and left trailing after her for a moment. She knew what was she was doing and that just made it all the more devilish.
Regardless she was turning from him before he could say a word and he lay his head back on the pillow as she backed herself up into him. He merely lay there, waiting for her to get comfortable before reacting. With her pressed so close, certain.. feelings, would be more than.. distracting, at that moment, so it was difficult for him not to think of particular things at that moment. Thankfully she was facing the other way lest she see how crimson his face had gone. Retrieving his free arm, the other still under her pillow and her head, he lifted it over the covers before wrapping it around her, hand flush to her stomach as he curled his taller figure around her, their legs entwining with one another once again.[+royalblue “Sleep well mein kriegerkönigin.”] He whispered softly and he too would soon fall asleep not long after.
Following several hours of dreams came the regular slide show of nightmares for Nicolai that night. Everything seemed to swirl and group together and leech off one another to build into worse and more painful moments. He didn't move much, similar to the other night with her, but when she awoke she would find the bed empty and a gentle breeze blowing in from one of the doors to the balcony. His clothing was still left haphazardly on the floor where it had been thrown aside the night before though the sword from the bedside table had been taken, the covers cast aside in an unkempt state. The fire had burned out leaving the room in the cool sea air, the waves crashing outside one of the few sounds she would hear.
Much as Florence was divided before, so she was here. He said he would not gawk, but just earlier today he had been determined to run his fingers over the scars on her arms. She was looking to avoid a repeat of that if she could, most of all when things were looking to progress the relationship between them. Still, he was sweet with his words, so she was apt to believe him for now. Nicolai also mentioned the need for sleep and she nodded. [+mediumseagreen “Yes, I do suppose it would be best if we had some rest.”] The exhaustion was setting in now. The alcohol that used to fuel her brain, begging it to continue on, was now lagging her, calling her to sleep. Though a great part of that was probably due to lying in bed. The comfort of it made her want to sleep. It was much better than the ground or even the beds in the tavern they recently stayed in. Though that was a complement to Nicolai, who was technically their host for the time being.
[+mediumseagreen “I suppose you are right.”] There was a tone of disappointment in her voice, this coming from the loss of his leg between hers. [+mediumseagreen “I wouldn’t want you claiming I only slept with you because I was drunk.”] She did not see that accusation actually coming to light, especially since it wouldn’t be happening at all, but she would rather it not be a doubt in the back of his mind. When he mentioned not wanting to regret it in the morning, she only nodded. Florence wasn’t entirely sure she would feel remorse over sleeping with him here, but it would go against what she was trying to accomplish in waiting. And that was something significant, at least to her. Still, she thought it might be good to vocalize this. [+mediumseagreen “But… I don’t think I would regret it… not with you.”] A subtle smile played at the corner of her lips, brows upturned as if she was almost sad to admit it, but overall it was a honest and heartfelt response.
Despite her previous words, Florence was resigned to just sleeping for the night. Sure she would be doing so next to Nicolai, but it would be almost platonic in nature, save the cuddling she was determined to have. Moving forward, Florence stole a quick kiss. She wasn’t entirely happy to have just that, but thought it was more fitting for the moment. Once that was done, she turned, rolling to her other side so that her back was pressed flat to his chest. [+mediumseagreen “I would still like to sleep close with you, if that is alright?”] It was only half a question, as she was determined to be like this, almost regardless of what Nicolai wanted. [+mediumseagreen “I will see you in the morning, dear… I hope you sleep well... I know I will.”] Confidently encouraging words came from her who was growing comfortable in his arms. It would not be long before she fell fast asleep.
[google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Montserrat][Montserrat [+royalblue “Trust me when I say I see enough scars every day, nothing you could show me would make me 'gawk'.”] He smiled a little as between his back, shoulder and head, he was closing in on being more scar tissue than healthy skin. As if on cue his back had began to tighten and thus he shifted to her side. was better able not to crush her but also to press her against him and hold her closer. It was remarkable how she could be so sweet and loving and all it took was a sizeable amount of alcohol, who knew? He hoped there wouldn't be regret and embarrassment come morning on recalling tonight's events. He wanted this to be the catalyst that pushed them forward and showed he was not just stringing her along. The comment back at the lake, that he was just with her for sex or her body, still hovered around the back of his mind.
She pulled from the kiss though his hot breaths just transferred to her neck and for a time he kissed up and down, soft and sweet kisses as his hand sneakily moved off her side though it hesitated as he reached her hip once more. Deciding it best not to push too much further his fingers interlinked to hers as he retreated back to his pillow, leg pulled from between hers and no longer pressing as close to her as the he visibly looked flushed.[+royalblue “We should really get some sleep, I'm starting to lose control of my desires.”] He grinned, winking playfully at her, his other hand still around her and tracing his fingers along her upper arms.[+royalblue “Don't take that as a bad thing though!”] He knew her mind might fall to the negatives connotations to that statement.[+royalblue “I am more than raring to go.. you know that.. but I'd rather not go too far and regret my actions come morning..”] His voice trailed off to ward the end, hoping to draw a very significant line between himself and the demons of the past. Short of calling in Elizabeth to personally confirm his more honourable nature, it was difficult for him to get this across.
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