My Jounal

/ By Knight- [+Watch]

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Roleplay Responses

[center [+darkred Took a break up today and didn't go crazy. So much for me not being able to handle being broken up with right? I've just never been broken up with, in a fair mature with. With being cheated on or involving my best friend or straight being lied to etc.]]

[center [+darkred It was mature of her civil no cheating. Calm and kind very mature helpful even and not involving my best friend. It still hurts like hell hurts, even more, knowing I lost one that wasn't completely crazy. One that understood me and was willing to talk things out and trust and believe in me. One that wanted me to enjoy things and have fun! With video games and my friends.]]

[center [+darkred One that was loyal and honest one that didn't go back and forth and play games when it suited her. So I wonder what it was I did to mess it up? I'm sorry I just want to say I tried harder than I ever had before. Whatever it was I never meant to mess things up I'm sorry and I want you to be happy.]]
  Yatsu Chikushou / Knight- / 8h 56m 14s
[center [h3 The Fool]]

[center [youtube]]

[center [b This was the tale of a young man, or rather a young boy. A boy who had taken to calling himself "Rex Rider" not for any particular reason. Except that it sounded "cool" to him.]]

[center [b Now despite that reasoning the eighteen-year-old male had no real confidence in himself. He had no particular set of skills being unemployed in the world of the living. He wasn't good at talking with others and he was even too shy to ever get his own drivers license. Eighteen and the boy never even drove. There was a lot about the world he didn't know or understand being a closet otaku. There was only one talent he had...]]

[center [h3 The Beginning of the End]]

[center [b Rex had grown up surrounded by violence the only thing he loved to do in the outside world was to fight. He and his best friend would spend hours sparring and even hitting one another with sticks. His grandmother had even paid for his fencing and kendo classes at his hometown so that he would make friends. Though that, however, was a bust as weak as he was emotional he could sure as hell could take a beating. Though he looked to be timid helpless and weak. Though since the outbreak he had given a lot of effort to his appearance. Before essentials even! Finding bright orange-gold eye contacts. Even going through the work to bleach his hair snow white. Finding durable clothes to put on his bulletproof gear. While he and his two closest friends helped him find a nice sword piece.]]

[center [b Rex was walking in an abandoned building as he had his blade slung over his shoulder. A European longsword Rex found that most swords broke after hitting too many bones. That the real world wasn't exactly like "anime" it took time on how he found this blade. This blade could withstand a hell of a lot of punishment. A glutton for punishment.. sort have like Rex in that sense.]]

[center [+orange Where are any walkers when you need them?]]

[center [b The boy said as he walked down the hall slamming the wall with the blade. Causing a loud ring he would shout but he was too embarrassed any humans may hear him. Yes even in this bleak outbreak he was incredibly socially awkward.]]

[center [b Walking forward going in step by step he rubbed the back of his head ruffling his hair as he held his stomach in pain. There could be two reasons for the pain in his stomach.]]

[center [b Reason One: Rex did not stack up any food or really... anything. The bulletproof gear and the blade were all he had on him. This wasn't a foolish mistake, however. This was simply because he couldn't care less if he died or not. Though he'd rather die on the battlefield than of starvation.]]

[center [b Reason Two: Rex didn't avoid combat and this has resulted in many fights. This did burn calories faster and pointlessly risk his life, however... he learned that bulletproof vest doesn't actually mean bulletproof. Getting shot when wearing this gear still hurt as a blunt force strike would. He had just picked a fight with four travelers. coming close to being put down himself he was shot in the chest and stomach plenty of times. This not piercing his gear but causing some blunt damage, however. He chuckled as he began to think of the fight that had taken place that day.]]

[center [h3 The Fight]]

[center [b The shy boy walked down the road with his blade slung over his shoulder as he let out a huge sigh. It had been too long without anything to do. He'd shout out to cause a ruckus but he was too afraid to make a scene. One of the things he'd hate most is having those of the living giving him "weird looks" even nowadays this bothered him. He remembered doing anything mundane before "it" happened. Going to get groceries for his mother. Or talking to employee's for help he was terrible at instructions and it involved even more talking. Every time he'd feel like he'd just pass out he couldn't do anything. He hated going outside wearing heavy clothing helped. He worried a lot about having a nice style that it would hide the fact he was so hopeless. He wore hoodies even in the summer with fingerless gloves. Things he found really cool but this backfired it just drew more attention. Causing fights at school even and since he was so poor at explaining himself people just decided he was.. a prick. It was strange his mind was wandering here. The idea of others disliking him really bothered him he shook and his heart sank just thinking of it now.]]

[center [+orange What am I even thinking about... Ugh maybe I should just take another nap.]]

[center [b Course as soon as he said that there was two men ahead fighting off a small group of walkers. Rex liked to avoid saying or even thinking of the word "Zombie" he thought it was silly but still it was the same either way.]]

[center [+orange P-Perfect! My chance to break the ice!! I get to finally play the hero!!!]]

[center [b He didn't have to worry about being judged I mean they would appreciate him, either way, right? He threw his blade in the air ready to boast the way he had always wanted. This was the third time in his life he ever got to do this. His first since everything has started. Catching the blade he began to shout.]]

[center [+orange Hey! Ugly!! You want something to eat? Then come on, snack on this!!!]]

[center [b He clanked his blade on the street running forward, he was rather quick on his feet he always was the fastest runner at School. Though before he could charge in three more men popped up shooting the walkers down with double barrel shotguns as the first two started firing now with two pistols. It took a bit but Rex watched, they had them surrounded so if he got involved he'd surely be shot. Even wearing bulletproof gear it would surely hurt and a headshot would be fatal. He sighed and walked forward sad he didn't get to help so as they cleaned house he decided to just go up ahead and say nothing.]]

[center [+red Hey! Kid!! Yeah, hold it! Give us your supplies!!!]]

[center [b Rex stopped and turned around, it was rather hard to tell he had any bullet proof gear on at all. He held his thick blade in front of his face. Flat side it covered MOST of his face. He had learned to do this when fighting those who used firearms, this, however, was much more dangerous than fighting a bunch of flesh biters.]]

[center [+blue Who do you think you are?! The last samurai?! Dude this ain't no Tom Cruise movie okay? Don't be stupid and don't make us waste the ammo on you. Even if it's just one bullet.]]

[center [+orange U-Umm.. I-I'm not really using a katana... I mean samurai didn't use European longswords. They used the traditional katana.. when it came to blades anyhow. They had many other weapons t-though.]]

[center [b Rex exhaled, that was so stupid! Why did he randomly say that?! So not cool! An anime character would have said something cool like "yeah we'll see!" or something cocky and badass. His legs started shaking as the men laughed walking closer weapons raised. He wasn't really scared of the threat, he really couldn't care less if he was to die here and now. It was the fact they were laughing at him. It felt like school again that one weird otaku, the sad part was he had trouble even talking to other otaku's! He shook his head, why was he thinking of that right here? He should be more focused on the fight before him. Okay yeah.. relax just focus on the fight. After this, I'll never see them again, either way, even if I die. No need to be embarrassed, or so he thought but he was still embarrassed nonetheless.]]

[center [+red Uhh, okay weirdo look I can see your legs are shaking, think just cause I can't shoot your head your goddamned superman? Well, Mr smarty pants. If you wanna correct people do it in hell!!]]

[center [b The man cocked his gun aiming at Rex's chest. Damn it! That was cool! That was a cool line!! Rex banged his head on the blade, the guy firing two shots hitting Rex's chest. Thud thud!! They made impact. As he fell over, though they did not pierce his skin. Rex laid on the ground face forward his stomach on the street.]]

[center [+red Dumbass, how did he make it this long? I shouldn't have wasted any bullets. Pretty city boys with their crazy dyes must fuck with their brain am I right boys? Well I shot him, yall strip him!]]

[center [b He said as he motioned for the three shotgun-wielding men to handle it. Placing their guns on their back they walked forward to Rex as they got on their knee's to pick him up.]]

[center [+orange Gotcha now!]]

[center [b Rex yelled as he turned around slashing through all three of their legs. However the third one only having his legs slashed and not cleaved off. Rex hand springing up stabbed the man through his chest, it was easy flipping up before he could reach his shotgun. The two men with pistols began shooting wildly. The two shots earlier didn't truly kill or would have even knocked Rex down. Yeah, they hurt moving at such high-speed ramming into his chest the blunt damage stung. However, his protective gear saved him as always. The men on the ground were in shock and in pain but if they recollected themselves could draw and shot Rex from behind with two shooting at Rex now from the front. He used the man he stabbed into as a human shield. Thank god, because being stabbed through the chest does not INSTANTLY kill you as fast you would think. He'd have time to grab his shotgun and blow Rex's head off. Course the man would die anyway. Still, that's why in movies killing a man in one slash was unrealistic they'd live a little longer before actually kicking the bucket. Though with bullets pounding into the guy wildly he was dead surely quick enough. They had emptied their clips of each pistol into the body. Rex saw that the two on the ground up and shotguns were drawn. How?! So quick? With missing legs? Are these guys paramilitary? Marines? Rex withdrew his blade and turned to block as they both fired one shooting his stomach lifting him inches off the ground as his gear deflected the bullet he coughed. The second hitting his blade scraping his cheek as he bleeds his heart racing. As he almost had his blade blown out of his hands. He's lucky his finger wasn't blown off. He needed the thick gloves to be fingerless however to have a better feel on his blade. He then quickly slashed the two legless men cutting them down as he turned around the two remaining gunmen reloading their clips and firing again. Rex held his blade in front of his face full on being shot by the clips guarding his chest with his arm.]]

[center [+orange Haaa!!]]

[center [b He screamed out in pain and adrenaline as the two stood shocked.]]

[center [+red What the fu--]]

[center [b Rex ran forward bleeding due to all the blunt damage was done to his body horizontal slashing from left to right the man backing up his chest slash Rex dashed in non-stop the man drawing his gun to Rex's face.]]

[center [+orange Too... slow!!]]

[center [b He slashed two more times at the agile man only the edge of his blade scraping him as he fired barely missing Rex's head. Rex span 360 building up momentum as he then lopped the man's head off. He turned to look at the other as he saw all of his dead comrades.]]

[center [+red S-Shit kid!]]

[center [b He took off firing at Rex as Rex put his guard back up the bullets hitting his blade and body.]]

[center [+orange .. Phew!]]

[center [b Rex sat down realizing the guy was long gone, well it was time to see what these guys had. Well besides guns anyway, Rex really didn't know how to work a gun. He'd take one from time to time. He had no idea how to fill a magazine or how to reload he knew to cock the gun and shoot. He knew that much from the movies he was rather hopeless. He sat down taking a breath.]]

[center [+orange I could take a few, maybe give them to somebody who could use them. I don't know... I'm not exactly making friends.]]

[center [b He sighed, he had hoped this was a chance to save somebody. Instead, he ended up barely protecting his own life. He was disappointed that only five guys took that much outta him. He honestly thought he was stronger than that than again he liked to compare the expectations of anime to real life. He laid back remembering some of his more.. finer moments than this reckless mess. Or at least, finer to him.]]

[center [h3 Present Day]]

[center [b Rex chuckled a bit he wasn't thinking that fighting simply five people would be so hard however this was the real world. Things didn't play out the way they did in his head. Guess those were his limits.]]

[center [b Strange Rex had taken life so carelessly and fought these beasts without growing sick to his stomach. Yeah it was a bit hard at first but to him it was all a game and after he had lost his two closest friends nothing felt real to him. He felt like the walking dead himself as if he was moving but dead inside. He didn't feel the real guilt of taking another's life not if they were willing to fight him so crudely. In his mind, they were just bad people he never really thought that maybe they were just doing what it took to survive. Rex never thought of himself as a bad person he always wanted to be the hero. He's saved others lives before but sadly... they always ended up dying. However what broke his train of thought was bumping into something. Hmm... two legs standing... and clothed.]]

[center [+orange H~Hello I'm sorry I!]]

[center [b However it wasn't a man he was talking to. It was a woman though he'd guess the real important detail would be is she wasn't alive anymore. He stepped back drawing his blade as he saw the premise crawling with these walkers.]]

[center [youtube]]

[center [b He scoffed holding his blade by his waist gripping it with two hands as he smirked. This was all he enjoyed now starting pointless battles even if he didn't know he'd make it out of them. He was always cocky in sparring with his friends or video games. Course it wasn't really bravery alone it was really just not caring anymore.]]

[center [b One thing he loved about fighting the dead was he could try whatever his otaku mind thought of. While not being laughed at, he was horrible at verbal confrontation. He'd get nervous when trash talked even by people he could handle hell even if they were unarmed. He wouldn't show how much he enjoyed this but fighting soulless corpses? Helped the pre-fighting jitters. Course once his blood got pumping it wouldn't really matter living or dead. Looking through his dyed white hair his piercing eyes he charged forward.]]

[center [+orange You want some?! Take this!]]

[center [b He said as the slow moving foes began to surround him. Running forward he cleaved one's head off. His sturdy thick long-sword could handle a lot more than most cheap made blades. He tried using any old sword just like in "anime" and realize they broke a lot. Or would get stuck in his targets. In fact, if it wasn't for his old friends he would never have gotten this fine piece of craftsmanship. Course this has already been covered. Rex was one to think the same thoughts a few times. That and it was easy to be reminded on how well made this blade was!]]

[center [+orange Ha!]]

[center [b He turned around cleaving another in half in a fell swoop, he was getting the hang of it. Another from the left he turned to dodge kicking it down. He would have slashed but he kept his guard up for the relentless numbers coming in. Life wasn't like an anime or some old Bruce Lee movie things didn't surround you and wait for their turn to attack you. He'd handle that one in a bit, he hopped back stabbing one from behind him running forward with helm buster sort of slash cutting the walkers head in half. Another ran forward biting Rex's hand. Luckily he was wearing leather gloves and with a metal backhand guard smacked the walker off. While stabbing another's head and turning to kick the one getting back up. He was moving rather quick to handle each and every one as he jumped and danced around he was a natural. True he had sword fighting experience but a natural at.. fighting for real. In a real scenario, no longer for fun. Course to him this was much more fun than any of that was. He started grinning slashing as he ran no longer caring if he hit their heads. Hack! Slash!! Cut!!! He knew a good trick was to keep running around and moving. That wasted stamina quickly sure but Rex could take it, didn't matter if he couldn't anyhow. If he died anywhere he'd want it to be on the battlefield. Though not every slash killed them having arms slashed off or your organs falling out made them either slower less dangerous or more brittle to be later finished off. Not that Rex was trying to be effective, one was farther ahead than the rest he ran up placing his blade on his side. Punching the zombie in a combination. A straight to stumble it, dashing in with a left and right hook than a speeding uppercut. As he span 360 until a haymaker knocking the brittle walkers head clean off.]]

[center [+orange Always wanted to do that!]]

[center [b He beamed smiling, as he drew his blade with one hand running in as he slid slicing another's leg off. As he used a handspring to flip back onto his feet. He held the blade than backhanded with both hands running and cleaving through several nonstop it was amazing the blade could take that much punishment. As he screamed out full force, despite his size he had a decent amount of brute force to work with. Though it was grueling and long he eventually took each and every down. This fight wasn't as "pretty" as he wanted it to be. He got sloppy there was too many to be as flashy as he had wanted to be.]]

[center [b He looked around counting]]

[center [+orange twenty-six? Man, that sounds so small but! Huff huff..]]

[center [b Though that wasn't too bad it sounded like such a small number to him with the millions and millions of these things that must be in the world. More poured out from the rooms as they began to walk at him there was even more than before. Rex held his blade huffing with his lack of food and sleep he looked forward. Even at full condition he'd be feeling the heat that was for sure.]]

[center [+orange Huff... tsk come and get it!]]

[center [b Despite his words he ran away from the creatures running up the buildings stairs as they began to ensue running to the third floor gathering more and more of their attention he swung and hacked at the air. As he panted they closed in and he stepped backward. He looked in front and behind him seeing a broken window. He sheathed his blade on his back as he put two fingers on his forehead with a big grin.]]

[center [+orange See you later!!]]

[center [b He jumped off as his heart sank into his stomach seeing how high up he was! Heights he hated heights!! Holding his arms an a cross block X his body slammed into tree branch and tree branch. His leather clothing served as little guard but it still hurt like hell as his arms felt like they were crushed. His shoulders popping and everything ringing as he hit the ground. The creatures following clumsily smashing their heads on the ground. Though before he could even see straight or even hear he sat up he felt like he was going to keel over and die right here and right now. Seeing a car crashed into a tree and a man with his head smashed through the window he was carrying a... uhh Rex scratched his head. Rex just knew it was a gun and though the car was still running! An automatic weapon and a car! He was saved!! ... NOT Rex didn't know how to drive and had no interest to drive or use a gun. He didn't know jack shit about either to be honest. He was very naïve and many would consider him to be damn near useless. Though in the car Rex thought to himself than there was a sweet aroma. No way?! This deep into shit and this guy has... well kept not rotten.... fucking McDonalds?! With tons of booze to that would make sense. Drinking and driving the last thing anyone would think would kill you nowadays. Ripping the plastic lids off the containers getting into the food he ate the cold (stale) flavorless fries munching on the hard-like but still chewy nuggets. As he looked for sandwiches he found. mc chicken wrappers! His favorite food!! He pulled the wrapper to see it had... a mc double.]]

[center [+orange ... Mother fuck-]]

[center [b Rex sighed banging his head on the metal door of the car as he sat on the driver seat. Beggers can't be choosers and with that, he grabbed a water bottle with a gulp. Ack! The water felt hot as hell but he needed something, right? Eating the cold mcdoubles with the water his pain subsided were he could finally hear himself think clearly. He sighed his body still sore as fuck. He had closed the door locking each of the doors. Sleeping next to a corpse would be weird he thought to himself. He grabbed the backpack off of the man tangling it and ripping it out. As he saw gun mags for the gun the man had.]]

[center [+orange AK-47? What the heck I don't get these bullet measurements.]]

[center [b He grunted keeping the bag of mags knowing someone would be happy to have them. He just knew... not him. With that the boy began to nod off with a full stomach. It was times like these he missed having friends to talk with. Taking some pain pills in the car he sighed lost in thought. He wasn't good at making friends even before this, though. He still remembers the strange way he met his best friend...]]

[center [h3 "Making Friends"]]

[center [pic]]

[center [+green Huff huff... your lucky I went easy on you.]]

[center [+brown Dude, stop with that lame tough guy act. Just shut the fuck up and pay me back all right? Come on Vincent do you like me and my homies pounding your face in every day?]]

[center [b The man with glasses struggled to get up as he coughed feeling blood on his lip.]]

[center [+green Huff huff.. for what? I don't even really know you..]]

[center [+brown Oh? But you know my bitch Serah don't you? Bro you owe me for trying to get some of MY tail.]]

[center [b Vincent hit the ground as he stumbled on his feet panting.]]

[center [+green She's not yours, she won't ever be yours. Tsk.. this is starting to feel like a cliché manga.]]

[center [+brown Oh my fucking god, dude just give me what I need all right?]]

[center [b Though, at that moment a boy came rushing in.]]

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[center [b Swinging with a baseball bat he knocked a few out a few of the men harassing Vincent.]]

[center [i Dude! He's fucking insane! I didn't come to get my kneecaps fucked!! Fuck you dude I'm out.]]

[center [b The man's friends left as "Rex" the timid brown haired boy that had yet to really be called Rex. Stopped the "lead" from running off.]]

[center [+orange Man to man, you and me.]]

[center [b Rex threw the bat and put his fist up looking at the guy who held his chest in relief. Being rather built and much taller he smirked.]]

[center [+brown Oh boy, now you gone fucked up.]]

[center [b The tall man said leaning in punching Rex with a hook then a left jab with a rousing straight. Despite his unrefined words, the man had some form. Rex stood dazed as he bled from his nose. Swinging wildly as he missed a few times blocking one strike. Rex held the guys shirt head butting him. As Rex clumsily fell on top of the guy knocking him down as Rex punched him over and over and over again. The man helpless to defend himself reached out.. for the bat. Rex stood up hopping back. As the large brute swung wildly at Rex. CRACK. One swing hitting Rex's shoulder. Rex's left arm fell as he laughed.]]

[center [+brown What the fu--]]

[center [b He swung again as Rex laughed using his broken arm as a meat shield. He shifted to guard with his arm he could no longer feel pulling his right hand back into a haymaker.]]

[center [+orange Here's a one way ticket to hell! All aboard!!]]

[center [b Rex said decking the brute across the face as he knocked him to ground the blunt force of the cement knocking him cold. He reached his broken arm out weakly to Vincent.]]

[center [b Rex wondered how Vincent did that, talked of manga so proudly talked so cocky so easily. As soon as those words left Rex's mouth. He wondered, did they make sense? Did he say it just to say it? He must have sounded like an idiot.]]

[center [+orange I-I'm sorry I...]]

[center [+green Dude! That was awesome!! You really saved my ass, I didn't know they were hiding hero's at this school. Where do I sign up?]]

[center [b Rex blinked, the way Vincent talked it was like.. nothing he had ever seen. I mean he had, but of course.. that was only in....]]

[center [+green Anime]]

[center [+orange Huh?! What?]]

[center [+green Do you watch it? I mean, of course, we should take you to the hospital but do you watch anime? Maybe we could go to my house and hang out. It's the least I could do ya know Mr hero?]]

[center [+orange My name is "blank" not Mr. Hero, I-I love anime! I am a huge fan! Ever watched Tokyo Ghoul? Shakugan No Shana? Angel Beats?]]

[center [b Vincent laughed.]]

[center [+green Haha, no but let's get on to that then huh? "Blank" huh..? Hmm.. kinda basic for a guy like you I think. The names Vincent! Nice to meet you!!]]

[center [b Rex laughed a bit as they walked side by side to the hospital.]]

[center [+orange So who's Serah? Is she your girlfriend?]]

[center [+green N-No I-I-I were just friends man! She's a real cutie, though! I should tell her about you saving my ass. She isn't good at making friends. Then again I'm not she is my only friend. Well.. her and you of course.]]

[center [+orange M-Me..?]]

[center [+green Yeah! You're dreaming if you think you can show some wicked moves like that and not teach me! Your stuck with me pal!]]

[center [h3 Later That Year]]

[center [youtube]]

[center [pic]]

[center [b With the panting of cold hair, there "Rex" shivered his hair it's natural color so were his eyes. The meek boy looked at his best friend.]]

[center [+orange C-Come on! We shouldn't be here Vince! We need to go!! Her parents would kill her and call the cops if they saw us at her window. We could just.. I don't know text her? Call her? Skype? She has her cell and her computer. Let's wait till--]]

[center [pic]]

[center [+green Dude! Chill!! If you say wait till she's ungrounded again I am going to kill you. You know her dads a good for nothing 24/7 pissed off drunk. I mean do you even know why she got grounded?]]

[center [b "Rex" hid his face and sighed muttering]]

[center [+orange N-No but we could get in trouble..]]

[center [+green Dude I love you, but if you don't wanna step in then fine. I miss the hell outta her I don't know about you but this is killing me. I'd prefer the three amigo's but I can't make you come. Remember that one time you punched her dads shit in? That's the "blank" I'd like here right now. I like that guy, if I could I know I would have. Hell, I woulda tried if you didn't beat me to it! Touching her like that-- Agh, forget it just go.]]

[center [b "Rex" sighed as he looked at Vince, Vince's words were harsh but as soon he said them he dragged "Rex" along. Vince loved Rex way too much to leave him behind. Rex to shy to keep saying no went along with it. As Vince knocked at her window. Rex was thinking "yeah he punched him but he almost went to jail, like he's about to right now!"]]

[center [+green Serah! Hey, Serah wake up! Hello WAKE UP!!]]

[center [h3 Wake Up]]

[center [youtube]]

[center [b Rex had awoken in the car jumping up with tears in his eyes. He then began to vomit in the car looking down at the puke it... didn't look like the food he had eaten earlier. Human... flesh?]]

[center [b Rex was covered in blood as he stood up shocked as it hit him. This was the blood he had from all of his fighting before. Wait no... Rex held his head screaming.]]

[center [+orange No way no way no way no way. No no not again.]]

[center [b He rocked back and forth as he puked again seeing a finger in the vomit hardly even chewed. He had done it again his brain... it shut off reality to him. He remembered the fights today and though they had happened the same way. everything else was not. The not having a drop of blood on him in the real world! Finding mcdonalds in this shithole?! His brain created an escape for him. He had instead eaten parts of the corpse in the car. He checked the bag seeing there was still mags. Thank god... that really happened. He started to break down sobbing wondering what had happened today and what had not. Tears streaming down his face endlessly as he sobbed and sobbed.]]

[center [b He kicked the door open he felt he would puke again but he'd keep whatever food inside he could. Food... he just thought of that man as real food. With so much missing least his stomach still had contents. He wiped his face of the blood and his tears as he screamed out to the world. This empty dead world he might as well screamed to the endless void itself.]]

[center [b He didn't stop as he shouted relentlessly half cry and half a roar. As if he was telling the world "Fuck you" he started to punch the tree as he screamed banging his head against it. Screaming more and more he could be heard probably all mile around but he didn't care he just didn't.]]

[center [+orange Vincent... Serah I wish you were here!!]]

[center [b He held himself crying as he fell to his knees. His brain had tricked him and he realized the lives he had taken today. The real scenes weren't so bright. The men didn't appear so course and callous true they had attacked him. They were like him though they needed food and even if Rex had none they would...]]

[center [+orange Consume me...]]

[center [b The hunger in those humans eyes the tears they were just like him. They didn't say anything rude at all! Rex said those crazy cocky lines outta nowhere!!! There were never even harsh to him. They just had to eat. Just like the man he had eaten. There was no any other food to be found it was scarce and rare these days. So when you can't beat these creatures you join them? No Rex was a hero, right? The awkward kind hero? Or was he just a monster. He didn't know... did he just killed men who wanted to live. Something he didn't even want to do. He had no good reason to fight he didn't want to live that part was true. He just wants to die a good death.]]

[center [+orange Like in some stupid fucking anime..]]

[center [b He muttered to himself he was hardly making any sense anymore he didn't know what was going on. What had really happened he... wait!? He pulled his blade off his back and looked at his outfit.]]

[center [+orange Thank god... your real. You're real you're real you're real your real you're real.]]

[center [b He started laughing screaming on the top of his lungs "YOUR REAL" he swung his blade at the air. Handspringing side from side, seeing the cracks in the tree. His agility his strength his blade. That was real... what else was? The fact he killed five men who wanted to live just to find a good death. Just to end his pain and suffering he just wanted to die.]]

[center [b With that Rex stood on the road looking off to the distance as he sighed.]]

[center [+orange What's the point?]]

[center [b He sighed falling backward on to the road. Raising his blade up as he looked into the blade's reflection to see his own face. Just to take a good long look at what he was now. Rex Rider tsk he may have looked different with dyed hair. His contacts and his clothes but he was the same kid. Nothing's change if anything he was even more hopeless now.]]
  RR / Knight- / 1d 13h 27m 11s
[center [youtube]]

[center [i Big Fanboy rant coming in.]]

[center [i I'm probably going to put this in my journal. So I'm a big Tales of fan I admit I haven't played as many as I'd like.]]

[center [b Tales of Vesperia

[center [b Tales of Xillia]]

[center [b Tales of Xillia 2]]

[center [b Tales of Beseria]]

[center [b Seen tons of stuff with Symphonia and Abyss and Graces oh god I wanna play Graces. I watched the openings the Symphonia Anime and Zeteria's movie and it's anime soon.]]

[center [i So Beseria and Zeteria share a world I played Beseria first but watched the Zeteria movie. I loved Alishia she drew me into this world the earnest and hard working Alishia.]]

[center [i The game sells you on humans and spirits being able to do this cool badass fusion call armataization. However her story? She has low Resonance she can't even really percieve these spirits or Seraphim or whatever. Zesteria is a super upbeat happy justice light kinda game. While Beseria it's prequeal was the darkest in the series and sheds some harsh truths of the world where we were shown to be a "happy one"]]

[center [i I'm word vomiting and butchering it here cause Beseria does have light moments and Zesteria does have hard moments. Alishia tries so hard to change the world she was a figure head at first a princess with no power. She became a knight to change the world with her own two hands despite being told only a hero with strong resonance could do so. Like the hero the Shepard.]]

[center [i She trained and studied and gave it her best and despite her low resonance and lack of using magic she became a powerful fighter in her own right. She can't ever fuse but her playstyle in the game? Has so much heart she fights hard with quick and heavy attacks. I love her character design she drew me into this world more than Sorey or any other character anymore.]]

[center [i Her playstyle with the spear? Looks fun as fuck! Her design whether she is being strong or when she lets her guard down? The frailty of her face when she lets her hair down. When she was afraid to give Sorey her real name despite the honor and respect she was taught to give other people? She's so strong and yet filled with so many inner contradictions. She was really advertised as the heroine of this game and she seemed like a great choice for this game. Her and Sorey propped each other up and the movie shows him meeting her. She was the first other human he met as Spirits raised him. ]]

[center [i Sounds cool right?!]]

[center [h3 Meltdown Motherfuckers]]

[center [i Well fuckkkk noooo you have her in the party and she's tough and tanky and yet? The hardest fucker to play that sounds cool right? NOPE TEN HOURS IN THE GAME. You get to know her from the movie and the opening.]]

[center [i She]]

[center [i Leaves]]

[center [i The]]

[center [i Party]]

[center [i I mean for fucking good not for a little bit. Why advertise her as the heroine?! I'm not the only upset here! In Beseria they added Eleaner to replace Alishia and I like Elanear but oh fuck no. Elenear is just a little more... Upfront about her personal weakness she's crying about the hardship of the world when you first meet her. The main character Velvet belittles her calling her crybaby exorcist I like Elenear but her conviction seemed a little weaker.]]

[center [i Don't get me wrong I loved Alishia's weakness's I loved you'd never guess she was so vulnerable and afraid. Alishia was subtle like a Radiant Whisper it's hard to explain. ]]

[center [i My grammar and spelling is shit here and Idc I'm just nonstop typing oh fuck.]]

[center [i Alishia comes back for thirty minutes in the game fun. They fucked her so hard they tried to fix her! In the Anime and the Manga.]]

[center [i In the Anime they made Soreys resonance connect with hers. She in the game had to count on him to be the ultimate hero to fuck shit up. I mean not entirely true she does her own thing in the side to help the kingdom but in the Anime? They buff her resonance... Her flaw why she couldn't become the shepherd herself. They gave her fusion and her resonance gets on his par. Even give the two some weird ass sacred connection. Her character arc doesn't make sense like that though!]]

[center [i I like more screentime with her but they make her more badass to fix her what?! They even change a scene where she faced her problems foolishly head on with her spear. With her having troops on the side she had to learn these things through loss and hardship... She wasn't a tactical badass who was on par with the shepard on resonance AND gets all the physical strengh from her "hardship" what hardship did she go through to get that strong if she's a tactical genius and has fusion seriously? She wouldn't be that strong if life was that easy for her.]]

[center [i I shipped her and Sorey together to thus the video its from the anime. It's animated by the same studio that did Fate Zero so if you enjoyed that pretty Anime you may like it. You don't need to play the game to watch it.]]

[center [i The Anime does it's own adaptation honestly and I like the Anime, to be honest but... Rip my Alishia this is where I leave your grave my sweet.]]
  Arthur / Knight- / 2d 8h 19m 17s

I don't even like SAO but these blooopers were pretty funny.
Didn't realize Todd Habberkorn played that terribly generic villian.

However the line
"You'll address me as his highness Todd Habberkorn"
  My Babe / Knight- / 3d 9h 28m 9s
I think I might skip exercises today it feels good to be lazy
  My Babe / Knight- / 11d 14h 14m 2s
Wrong just wrong I called it but you know you handled it wrong.
  Kasumi / Knight- / 30d 7h 35m 27s
I'm such a coward I just let you walk all over me.
Lie after lie I just... I'm such a fool.

And any snoopers reading this it's about a friend not Monique my girlfriend she's the one thing I feel like I can trust honestly aside from a few others perhaps.

But what's that mean I still trust and care for the one who lied to me so I'm just a Fucking retard.
  Kasumi / Knight- / 30d 9h 14m 59s
I've been doing good in not being petty.
Even Monique said she was proud of me.
Well I had a small relapse today.

It wasn't big though and I wont get into detail. I still see this person as a friend even if I shouldn't for how much they put me through with little explaination. It was more or minor annoance petty not delete your account levels of petty.
I feel bad to admit I giggled a little but I honestly needed the laugh.
  Kasumi / Knight- / 48d 1h 19m 9s
Okay so something I took a long to respond to cause we speak to each other via journal rather than talking like a normal person. No not tonight's stuff something different.

Ill say a name this time cause it really ain't bad TBH.
To Abby I finally read what you wrote back to my thing in your journal.

It's okay you lost the stuff mom Brandon and me would have wanted you to keep it.
Your mom's right a gift is a gift it's yours.
I wouldnt have destroyed your things hell I got Jill's stuff saved for good memories.

I saved the pictures you drew and sent to my tablet. Like star and the forces of evil cute picture you draw very well.

You deserve them and I don't feel bad having the pictures you drew even if I don't have the physical version.

Because I think of it different than you.
I don't love you either not in a romantic way.
But I'm glad I met you all the same we tried our best with what we knew.

I know you say I never loved you and I said you never loved me.
But I know I loved you and you loved me and we tried our best it's all we could have done.

I hope you find peace in starting your new life.
  Kasumi / Knight- / 54d 8h 36m 6s
I probably shouldnt write this on journal entries but I gotta say it got. If someone screencaps this and puts it there I don't care.

When neons group said they don't gang up on people for no reason. I just remember me and Abby breaking up me apologizing to them for her behavior.
Everything seems cool I leave them alone and journal entries alone.
While Jill's harassing me holding my account hostage. Can't change password she's on it via iPod it won't sign her off she stays signed on.

Neon writes and laughs about my problems.

Outta no where when I actually felt bad for them.

So I can't say who's right or wrong but they flat out lied in that regard jeez.

Edit: I wanna add I didn't mean tally leave es just journal entries cause it's stressing her out. I don't think she's fully reading my pms cause she is stressed out poor girl.

I learned the best way to handle neons group is ignore them. Last few times I just wrote one thing to correct them and left.
They didn't listen cause again they are the center point of drama.
Literally the kinda kids I beat the shit out of in highschool.
Is that mean? The judgmental double standard people? Maybe but I don't care I'm sure they learned more from that than any words you can share with them.
  Kasumi / Knight- / 54d 16h 54m 11s
Your cute Monique.

Wanna vent about two things.
One the hypocritical one. Put your things on blast? You put out an obvious post about me that I jerk off to hentai.
That's putting me on full blast first honey so no I don't feel bad about what I wrote. I know you admit most things you say are hypocritical but dear lord its so annoying you hold others to a standard you don't hold yourself too.

As for the other person all I wanna say is I'm done arguing via pm you don't get what I'm saying there that's all since we made a deal. I get my stuff back and unblocked on hiragana I don't get to vent its fair honestly if I actually get unblocked today on it.
  Kasumi / Knight- / 59d 17h 21m 19s
[size10 [i [center [#c57570 Heeeyyyy BITCH. I see you here.... .thinking... I'm going.... to..... leave you... and..... making it seem.... like... I don't.... love u.... as much.... any..... more.

How. dare. you...???


Jokes aside, I was just feeling a bit down. You know I get like that from time to time. I think, in all honesty, I just missed my own company for a while there. Yeah, sure, you hurt me with that one jab. But let's be real, I probably hurt you way more at the end of the day because, despite you being sensitive, as I know, I still said what I said without much thought into it.

And I don't know? I just... can't really fix that. I try to for your sake, but at the end of the day, it isn't enough? Iunno.

Regardless, I'm here for Y O U.

You know I love you, besides, you're literally one of the greatest guys out there. Even if you're a little sensitive bean. I adore you, I said it once, and I'll say it again, I'm pretty sure there are points of me which annoy you .

And just because I would like to find the comfort of being in my own presence, it doesn't mean I'm going to leave you. You're my boyfriend for a reason, swag bag. And honestly, it's a bit heartbreaking to hear how people would want months of a time away from you because they're "tired of you" and "need a break".

Not everyone is the same, however. And that's something I have to keep in mind as I express myself to you.

I don't need as much time away from you, nor anyone for that manner. Like, it's a little recuperation thing which I haven't done in months and I was in need of it.

I think you're an extrovert, while me? I'm an introvert. I know for darn diddly sure I am that.

And just being around people, and having you on the phone a l l the time started to drain me.

Not to say you can't be on the phone with me ALL THE TIME EKJGFHLJW I enjoy your presence! ;u; I just... sometimes need some time to myself.

I began to loathe myself again, and I need that reminder that I'm my own best friend. I don't want to rely on you to tell me everything is going to be alright all the time. I need to tell myself that, too. And I need to make that so.

And, because you're understanding, I know you will nod your head along and go, "Okay, baby girl, I love you. Take all the time you need!"

I love you, you goofus. And just know I'm not going to leave you because I was having a bad day and wanting to be alone for a bit. ;u;'

Now, if you don't mind, I'll just.... *Slides away from your kawaii little ass to let you go back to your own devices*


  |Ushi| / Ushisama / 60d 13h 14m 43s
I want you to know I cherish the time we spend together. No matter how short or long it will be.

You make me laugh you make me smile. You make me cry tears of joy I know you will say real tears too. They are still good cries I always feel so much better afterward.

Today was great for me I got so much done and dealt with so many people. Made some money and some improvements it was draining and stressful but I was and am still excited to tell you more about it.

I know I don't deserve you and I know if you leave you'd do it right. You'd have every right to lord knows I didn't and don't deserve you it's sweet you say I do.

Just know this doesn't mean I've given up trying on you I promised I wouldn't till you basically beg me too.

I know you'll feel like you should have left me be with Abby.
Her saying stuff like we'd never have broken up if not for you doesn't help.

We probably wouldn't have but would I have been happy? To be yelled at on my birthday? Cheated on time and time again?

It goes honestly deeper as you saw in our three way calls. You laughed at more of my jokes even my silly calling dibs joke. You got me heck you get me.

You overflooded me with honestly years of happiness and healing in such a short time. I vented things to you about Alex even that I never did to anyone. Not her being a bad person or anything just how I still thought of her honestly.

You didn't bat an eye it judge me instead you shared your history with me instead and held my hand.

I adore you.
I love you.

I won't regret giving you so much. I know that I won't cry and scream you hurt me. I'll just be sorry I couldn't suffice as a partner I'm sorry my baggage was too heavy.

You deserve a real goodbye if it ever comes to that no anger not being upset.

Even now I feel this beautiful bittersweet smile.
You've given me so much so fast my heart didn't know how to handle it.

I remember you learning about me and saying I was silly. That all you did was treat me like a human being and I wasnt used to either being abused blackmailed or used.

Maybe there was some truth to that but you treated me more than just a human being I know that.

I won't claim I don't have scars still and things I need to work on. That doesn't change the fact you flooded me with years of peace. To let what felt like years wasted all go and be a lesson and to hold the fond memories.

I'll hold you fondly in my heart and in my soul.

To, my little Pocahontas <3
  Kasumi / Knight- / 61d 8h 48m 36s
Pull was too strong on you? Really? Cause I haven't really tried since than to pull on you. A 100 days and so much is better.

Its hilarious you write that but struggle with the same stuff. Like a few people on your bus stop. You haven't really changed and to the outsiders looking in you don't look that happy. You seem pretty much the same.

The real reason I'm laughing cause my pull? Like I didn't try breaking up with you before and you always pulle me in. Told me it's get better.

I was willing to break up with you without cheating on you too as a push.

I remember you and I breaking up and you pretending it was a bad dream. If that's not pulling on I don't know what else.

Ill stop posting here when you can make
One non hypocrite comment. Say something about someone else that you yourself didn't do just as much if not worse.

I guess that's why is one of us is happy and gets to see our soulmate. And the other one got dumped a week after giving her vCard. Karma and I probably should just leave it alone and let karma do its thing. Its just too much fun pointing out how much of a ignorant hypocrite you can be.
  Kasumi / Knight- / 61d 19h 26m 38s
It seems your really putting it back. Why did you take it off if your gonna put it back?

Well thank you for putting it back and when it's all back I'll even give an apology.
  Kasumi / Knight- / 63d 21h 42m 47s

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