The oddest thing happened before the were preparing to leave. Despite wanting some time alone and see New York City, she didn't want to leave Aria behind.
"Do you think your mom would object to her going? I mean, I don't want to leave her," Kenna said. Aria was down for a nap and everything was prepared. It was overwhelming to feel like this, yet that was pretty ordinary in her world.
Kane chuckled, "its been too damn long." He muttered kissing her and smiling at Aria, "Baby girl you did it." He muttered as the little girl was squealing in celebration. "Shes going to be crawling before we know it.... its insane. Momma said she will be by to pick her up in a couple of hours, She can't wait to watch her and we need to pack and have a few hours alone before we fly out."
"I didn't now I smiled often," Kenna said watching the girl play. She was working on rolling to her stomach on her own. Sometimes to the point of frustration but she wasn't giving up.
Looking up to Kane she gave a laugh of delight. "God, yes...It's been...what ten months? That's the longest that's ever happened."
Gurgling some more Aria managed to get herself to her stomach, looking around excited letting out a loud squeal.
Kane leaned in the doorway smiling at his wife and daughter, “She’s easily amused for now, but that smile...that’s all from you.” He said kissing her temple and wrapping his arms around her from behind. They hadn’t been intimate since Aria was born and she had been cleared. “Maybe in NewYork, we can have some us time....some sexy time?” He asked holding her.
Just them, eh? That was a strange feeling considering it had been a form of madness ever since finding out. Before then it had been sickness, his health, and then baby.
"It's okay, I can take her," Kenna said walking to the other room. At least the babys room was a true baby room instead of being on the first floor. She spent more time there these days.
She was growing big and her facial features was becoming more dominant. She'd be a heartbreaker. Taking her to the bed she started packing as Aria was beginning to gurgle and coo happily playing with a sock.
"A penthouse with a city view for a few days, just us, I can call Momma and have her come here to watch Aria that way all her things are here and Momma gets a mini vacation on her own. "He said kissing her as Aria started to cry. "I'll get her and call Momma, you start packing." His mother jumped at the chance to watch her first and only grandchild for a few days.
"One of those places with a view of the city?" She asked more interested. "I never thought I'd miss seeing the city lights and nearly underground bars that smell old..."
Looking to him she gave a smile and a nod. "No one ever said this was murder on the parents and relationship. Or how ill-equipped we are..." Kenna said before walkover to him and kissed him wrapping her arms around him. "I love you, too."
"You want to go house hunting in New York?" He asked looking to her. "I can pack and get Aria's things around or my momma can watch her for a couple of days and we can get a break... would that help?" he asked looking to Kenna. "I know we've been focusing on her and its been crazy and I'm sorry if you feel like I've been ignoring you." He said sighing, "I love you."
"These pants need something else than this house, seeing the name somewhere, and in dirty diapers," Kenna said frankly before throwing away the coffee cup. "I'm going to work hours away from here. Something where she can go if need be and then have some other..."
Kenna shook her head. "I want the old Kenna back. The one that's been left behind months ago. Not whoever this is...we both need that. This is just trying us crazy."s
“I get up with her at three in the morning Kenna, I get her bottles, change her, all I’m asking you to do is get to know our daughter. I know you don’t think your cut out for this but I know I’m not and I do it everyday because I love our little girl. I love you. I never thought I’d have kids, never had a role model as a father. I’m flying by the seat of my pants right now.”
"I don't feel like I should for her. And I miss the freedom..." Kenna nursed more of the coffee. There was no more breast milk so she was free to drink more coffee. Giving a soft sound she rubbed her temples. "I don't know, Kane. I tried. Skin to skin, talking in that way, little walks....Everything and I still just want to tear off my ears when she cries at three in the morning."
This was why she knew she didn't want children, and there was a hope that would change.
“Don’t tell me your leaving becaus you don’t want to be a mom?” He asked getting s little angry. He didn’t ask for this either and his life had changed drastically since their daughter was born. Usually he was going out, seeing friends and having drinks but she was nearly a month old an she had barely left the house unless it was to buy diapers or formula.
"It's okay, Kane. I just don't feel that and maybe that will fade or that's what happened with Jenny," Kenna said slowly taking the girl. She held her for a two minutes before going to place her down.
"I'm just thinking that maybe....I am not really a mother and wife...just was trying to play that hand that's not mine," Kenna sighed running a hand through her hair. "Sorry, just....I don't know since all we do is baby and maybe sleep, work, and baby. That Kenna is so gone now."
“How...your her mom and your amazing. Just because she likes me every now and then doesn’t make you not her mother. She looks so much like you Kenna and that smile...every time she smiles I see you. She loves you too babe...you just have to spend more time with her.” He said sighing, he was always the one holding the little girl, not Kenna. He took care of her more.
"At four months? Not according to Trish. Usually at six months...it's probably a part of a growth spurt," Kenna shook her head before nodding to him. How was she supposed to say anything? "Maybe we should go back to New York City. A real sandwich and...I don't know..."
She sat down and nursed the coffee. "I don't actually think I'm her mom. Like I carried her and threw up three times a day. But...I don't feel anything close to that...like she's all your child and I just help out when you are busy. And I'm okay with that..."
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