"If I'm never ready for that step...you'll just...I hate the thought of you never finding that happiness, if I never get to that point," Willow leaned against the door. Mostly because she felt that wave of light headness. Rising a hand to her her temple she closed her eyes.
"I'm going to get back in..." she said with a weak smile before straightening opening the door. God she felt awful.
"The only way you can hurt me is to tell me you never want to see me again... I'm happy just seeing you and spending time with you." He said leaning down and kissing her cheek. "Willow... you weren't only my girlfriend, you were and still are my best friend in my book. We did everything together and you are my other half... and I will never let go of that."
"Alright, that'd be lovely," Willow nodded. No one seemed to know her here which was good. At the door she looked to him almost debating if she should or not. "Are you sure? I mean, this is hard enough on you as it is. And...I don't want to hurt you anymore."
It was around that time, wasn't it? God, she could already feel her empty stomach beginning to stir. This was a form of universal punishment, wasn't it?
Kane nodded, "alright, let me walk you back... its getting late and I don't feel right letting you go back alone." Rambo was still trotting along in front of them like he was a prized race horse. "Promise me you won't be a stranger, you'll call and text me.. and if you need something you won't be afraid to ask. I still love you but I respect that this is what you want and not me."
"Adoption on top of the two they already have? Damn, I wonder how they have time to do this and the music..." Willow whistled. It was so strange to think that someone would do that. "Actually she invited me two months ago but I couldn't go."
There wasn't sickness going through her but she was exhausted. It was only a while longer before she gave a yawn too tired to keep going. "I think I should get back. I'm still knackered. And a bit hungry...think I might get some miso soup..."
Kane nodded... "Could explain why they invited me to the lake house out of the blue too... they either think we're together or are trying to put us back together... but yes I don't have a problem with you working with him. Hes cool and they just adopted a little girl if you didn't know. Adorable thing.." Kane sighed and Rambo pulled them along. The hurt on Kane's face was hard to hide even though he was trying.
Where would they be at this point if she hadn't gotten cold feet?
She had gotten cold feed and went for something else, and as much as she wanted to regret it, she couldn't. Willow looked to him and sighed. "I'm sorry for all that. Truly, I am sorry. I hope it will get better soon."
She reached out to touch his arm for a moment. "I want to ask if it's okay to work with Thomas Rhett again. His wife invited me to this lake house for a weekend and he wants to work on another song."
"I went out drinking.... fell into a spiral but I'm getting sober now... not going to drink anymore... depression got the best of me and I'm not going to lie, I tried to get out there and date someone but the girl was never you so it wasn't right... so I stopped looking." He muttered looking towards their feet as they walked. "I wasn't okay... but I'm trying to be."
"Do you mean if I've dated or shagged anyone since? No. This time no shagging, dating or anything for a while. It's just me and life," Willow looked to him slyly. "It hasn't been bad. Worked with some artists, explored. You?"
She was almost hesitant to ask one question knowing what it might lead to. They started off fast and she was not ready for that again. At least she told herself she wasn't.
Kane smiled, "a walk would be nice." Rambo walked in front of them on his leash attached to Kane's wrist, sometimes circling back to make sure she was still there. "So other than all the stress... how have you been really?" He was hinting around to see if she had moved on from him... he hadn't from her but he had tried... and no one was the same as when he was with her .
"It's not that easy, Kane. We tried that before and it just kept escalating," Willow tried to not to feel worse about that. "I could visit, though just it can't get to that point."
It was strange going this long without any guy or sex but it was working. She was ahead and with songs, immigration and eventually school again.
"So, a walk then? It's lovely here. It's already bloody cold in England."
"When your done with your research trip and everything... would you mind coming to Nashville to spend a few days with me?" he asked his hands easily finding her waist, "I know you don't want a relationship... no strings attached... I know I can't fully be without you but I want you to be able to do what you want... so no strings attached a few days with me in Nashville... what happens stays between us."
"Hello, poppet," Willow smiled kneeling down to let him. She had almost missed waking up to that drool and letting him out in the morning. Looking to Kane she figured out the answer.
"I have a lawyer here, I'm meeting her tomorrow. It's been a pain in the arse, everyone seems intent on terrorist attacks in England. And...we're taking a research trip up the East Coast. I was almost thinking a national park too."
She hated that look, and the fact that she wasn't close to done soon.
Rambo was sitting at Kane's feet but jumped up when he spotted her and started to bark and jump happily. "I told you he missed you." Kane said with a smile. "How long are you going to be in Boston and is there anything I can do with the dual immigration thing? I mean you need my help just ask... I mean it... with anything." Kane still loved her, it was written all over his face.
"I don't need to go to the doctor. I'm fine. It's just been bloody mad with these Immigration court. I'm closer to becoming a dual citizenship on one side just need to work on here," Willow nodded. "You don't need to worry about me anymore. I can take care of myself."
Going back to the condo to change. The nausea was down and she got some water and tea. Eating some crackers before going. This was a bad idea but maybe there was a chance to get a friendship back.
Meeting him there she sighed wondering why she still wanted to go back to what they were to a degree.
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