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Kane nodded holding her. "I need help... will you help me get help?" He asked her basically begging her for the help he knew he despratley needed... even a therapist could help him.. one that could come to the house so Alexandria could be at Kane's sessions. He loved her and they had already been through so much and he wasn't about to let him past take his future away from him... they were having a baby... a baby girl at that and Kane knew he would always have Raelee with him but she... she couldn't be showing up... he couldn't be seeing her places. He needed professional help and he was smart enough to ask for it.
He held her, "We don't have to go back today... just I need you and I need help. I need a drink... I need to know that we are going to be okay and that your not going to leave me and take our daughter and I'll lose you both... I can't go through that again." They weren't even married yet.
Alexandria just stared at Kane for a moment. She almost couldn't process what he had said. It hit her like a stack of books. The room shifted. It was colder than it was thirty minutes ago. [b "Hey. Baby. Look at me."] she said. [b "I'm right here. I'm here with you. Just focus on me. It's going to be okay. I'm going to help you. We'll get professionals. Its probably just your head wrapping around the fact that you have another baby on the way."] she said.
She wrapped her arms around the man and pulled him closer to her. [b "I love you. It's going to be okay. I promise."] she said. It had to be, right? How was Kane going to go about their own baby, when his deceased daughter kept showing up? Would he even be able to mentally handle it? [b "Do you want to go back to Nashville? My parents will understand... They can come visit us in Nashville soon.."] she said. She only hoped that her Mother would understand.
“I saw a ghost...Raelee running past me...I... She was right there...I don’t know what to do.” He said putting his head in his hands and let the tears fall. “I..I need to go..I saw a ghost...I saw my daughter.” He was a blubbering mess. What was wrong with him? “I can’t be seeing ghosts not of Rae, she...she was right there and I half expected her to run into me it was so real” he said still shaken up about it.
Kane’s hands found her midsection and he rested his head against her shoulder. “I can’t get through this without you. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” Out Of The corner of his eye he saw it again, the little girl sprinting past them both. “I just saw her again.” He muttered softly. He didn’t want to acknowledge what he was seeing but if he didn’t it was going to drive him absolutely insane. He was seeing things now, things that were not there, people that weren’t alive. He needed help.
Alexandria was downstairs on the couch scrolling through her social media. She was going back and fourth from reading comments on she and Kane's pictures on Instagram, and looking at Nursery ideas on Instagram. She wanted to keep the gender a surprise until she delivered, but with Kane, she knew it would be easier if they just found out. Plus it would make shopping for Baby Brown a lot easier.
She heard footsteps on the wooden staircase and assumed Kane was finally coming down. She didn't pay much attention to the fact that minutes had past, and he still wasn't down stairs. And then she heard him call for her. His voice was shaky. She all but threw her phone on the carpet and jogged upstairs to her bedroom. [b "Kane?"] she said. She seen him sitting on her bed, and he looked like he had all but seen a ghost. [b "Baby what's wrong?"] she asked as she sat down beside him. [b "Did something happen?"]
Kane sat on the bed with his head in his hands. He wouldn’t make it through this trip without a bottle of jack Daniels but he didn’t know how he would get one without Alexandria noticing.
He was going crazy...he loved her parents but it was all this pressure with the baby coming and her parents asking all these questions of him. He just wanted to enjoy the fact he was going to be a father and he couldn’t enjoy it because everyone pulled him back to dwell in the past when he was just getting over it.
Kane was about to get up and leave to go downstairs when he saw her...Raelee... running past him and then suddenly she was gone. He managed to get to the railing of the stairs and call down, “Babe?” He aske Shia voice shaky. He needed to talk to someone...tell them what he was seeing. Illusions? Ghosts? He had no idea but he had saw her and heard her laugh plain as day. Kane sat on the edge of the bed broken.
Alexandria just sighed as she wrapped her arms around Kane. [b "Hey. It's okay. I'm right here.."] she said [b "We will find out. Okay. As soon as we possibly can. We'll find out."] She leaned up and planted kisses all over his face. [b "I love you so much."]
She looked over at the bedroom door that was shut when she heard her Mother's voice. [b "I'll be down soon Mommy."] she said [b "I'm not feeling the greatest."] She watched as Kane walked out of the bedroom and she just sighed again. [b "Baby..."] she said. She groaned and then headed downstairs. [b "Come on Rambo."] she said.
She curled up on the couch and waited for Kane to come back downstairs. She was excited to be back in Boston, her home? But she missed Nashville. It definitely seemed that their lives were a hell of a lot easier back home in Nashville. They didn't have to answer to anyone but themselves. She didn't know how the rest of the trip would turn out.
"No." He muttered shaking his head. As soon as the door to their room was shut he pulled her into his arms holding her tight before he started to cry... "I'm sorry... we don't have to find out... I just... I have to prepare myself if we have a girl... " He wasn't okay. He had been putting on a charade for her. Even though he loved her and wanted this baby, the pain he was feeling didn't go away. He didn't know why but he couldn't let himself enjoy the fact that there was a baby on the way... their very own baby.
There was a knock on the door... it was her mother. "Sweetie... I made you some tea and you two haven't opened your presents yet... and Rambo is outside the door." Kane wiped his face and said, "I'm going to use the bathroom... I'll be downstairs, I love you."
As soon as she was out of the room he dug into the bottom of his suitcase, finding three small bottles of liquor and downed them before brushing his teeth and hiding the bottles under the rest of the trash.
Alexandria was upset when Kane said he needed to know. Don't get her wrong, she completely understood why Kane needed to know... But it wasn't exactly fair because it was taking away from the joy of her first baby. Not that she would ever mention or talk about those feelings. She didn't know what would happen in the next for months or how it would go down.
She glanced up when Kane squeezed her hand. She snapped out of it and looked over at him. [b "Uhm.. No Mommy. No. We- Uhm. We haven't.. We haven't talked about getting married yet. Everything is happening... So fast."] she said. She looked up at Kane and nodded. [b "Well.. Baby Momma isn't feeling so hot. Babe... Will you come upstairs with me? I think I just need to lay down for a little bit."] she said as she stood up. She reached down and held her hand for out Kane.
After she made sure that Kane was behind her, she headed upstairs to her bedroom. [b "Are you okay?"]
Kane looked worried... "I know we haven't talked about it but... I want to know.... for my peace of mind I need to know." Everyone understood... if they were having a girl he was going to have to mentally prepare to have a daughter again and not to cry at every little moment. He knew he would cry when this baby was born, he had cried when Raelee was born and he had been so young..so so young.
Kane leaned his head against her and looked to her parents, "Thank ya'll for having me here... and putting up with Rambo.." He was slowly starting to slip... he needed a moment to himself before he blew up but he couldn't exactly tell her parents that. He just tightened his grip on her hand and hoped she would take the hint to get him out of there. Then her mother asked, "Are you two going to get married?" Kane hadn't even discussed it with Alexandria yet... but he was planning on asking her... her father looked a little shocked but hid it quickly as not to ruin the surprise.
Alexandria was finally able to breathe again after she realized that her Father had asked Kane if he was alright. She hadn't even thought about that.. What if Kane wasn't alright? What if he was masking it all for her? She was going to make sure that he continued the therapy sessions through her pregnancy at least. She just wanted to make sure that Kane would be okay.
She snapped out of it when she heard the question about the gender of the baby. [b "I'm only about six weeks. So we'll be able to hopefully find out in about a month and a half. Though, I think it would be neat to buy gender neutral and keep the gender a surprise until the birth."]
She glanced up at Kane, because she hadn't even mentioned it to him yet. She wondered if he would be on board for it or not. It wasn't very traditional, as most people found out before hand, but nothing about the two of them was traditional at all.
Kane held onto alexandria’s hand protectively, squeezing it to reassure her that he was there and wasn’t going to let them upset her. He pulled her hand to his lips and kissed the back of it and her mother put her hand over her mouth and he saw the tears start to fall...thankfully they were happy tears. “I’m getting a grandbaby! Oh my god this is such a surprise.” She muttered hugging Alexandria tight and then her father looked at the pair.
“I’m all for a baby, especially since I know Kane will take care of you and our grandchild..but Kane...I know you might not want to talk about
Your past...are you alright?” He asked him seriously and Kane just nodded, “Yeah..it’s been five years and I know everyone knows now and well Shelby and Rae would want me to be happy and I’m finally happy again with alexandria.” Her father seemed to accept that answer and said, “Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?”
Alexandria held onto Kane’s hand for dear life as she watched her Morher pull on the strings from the box. She had never been more nervous and anxious about anything like this in her entire life. What if been Mother was upset? What if her Father didn’t like the fact that she pregnant after only knowing Kane a few months?
Wendy wasn’t sure what her Daughter had up her sleeve with the Christmas presents this year. But she knew it had to be something judging from the way that her Daughter wouldn’t let go of her boyfriends hand. She reached down and handed the black shirt to Poppi and took the pink shirt for herself. Her eyes were wide after she read it. [b “Alexandria... Are you pregnant?”]
Alexandria slowly nodded. [b “Si mommy. We found out a few weeks ago.. Momma... Poppi... say anything.”] she said soflty. She glanced up at Kane, the worry splashed all over her face. How was this going to go down?
Kane was nervous for her parents to open the box, her father had just given his blessing for Kane to ask her to marry him and this could change everything... a baby... their first grandchild... it was a lot to handle all at once and Kane and Alexandria hadn't been together very long and they had just met him for the first time the day before.
Rambo was laying at Kane's feet, being a lazy dog after he had a biscuit and some gravy himself for breakfast. He had a good Christmas... this was the best Christmas that Kane had had in over five years.
Kane held Alexandria's hand as they watched her parents open the boxes.... He felt like he was holding his breath but he wasn't holding it... he was just scared that her father was going to murder him. A baby wasn't something that parents wanted their daughter to have out of wedlock... and he wasn't sure how strict her parents were... but then again they hadn't said anything when they found out they lived together.
Alexandria was slightly suprised when Kane repeated that her parents would be driving down for New Years in New York. [b “They hate New York... They must really wanna see you perform babe.”] she said. [b “But yes. I’ll het the passes before we head out our selves. Are we still flying?”]
The next morning, she woke up super early, before Kane. She could hear her mother down in the kitchen, so she headed down to help. It was like tradition. She always helped with the dinner and breakfast. [b “Ohhhh. Mami. Are you making home made gravy for the biscuits and gravy? Kane is going to loveeee it.”] she said. [b “Want me to start on the eggs?”] She looked up a little while later when she heard footsteps in the stair case. [b “Merry Christmas baby.”]
After everyone ate, they headed into the living room for presents. [b “Now. Before anyone opens anything. I want you and papi to open this. It’s for the both of you.”] she said as she passed the box over.
Kane chuckled, "He questioned me a little.... I think he knows about Shelby and Raelee but its alright... we're good... and your parents are driving down for the new years rockin' eve so I told him I'd ask you if you could get them the passes so they don't have to be in that crowd. They can be on the side of the stage with you." Kane said changing and kissed her gently.
"Tomorrow they find out about baby Brown and I can't wait... your mom might just cry." he said seriously.
The next morning Rambo woke Kane up licking him, "Bubby, its early." He groaned but got up anyway and noticed Alexandria wasn't laying in bed beside him but then he smelled the breakfast... she must have been helping her mother in the kitchen. Pulling on a t shirt that matched his pajamas that matched Alexandria's. He walked downstairs smiling. "Hey darlin'." He muttered planting a kiss on her lips and hugged her mother, "Hey momma." Her mother loved him.
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