if you're reading this it's too late

/ By RedComet [+Watch]

Replies: 27 / 341 days 4 hours 38 minutes 0 seconds

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I have been up for an entire day. Had to wake up early for work then work for almost 12 hours... at least I got to have some fun on my new DS v.v abused a glitch on pokemon Yellow and now I have a level 100 Nidoking to clear the game with ahahah... and then I got to play some Siege and Dark souls Remastered. Drowning myself in video games helps me not think about things I know I shouldn't think about, like you... or how I'm hopeless and in love with you. I can't help it... I hope you are well
  Bone / RedComet / 260d 23h 26m 37s
I feel such a strong desire to be loved but no one will ever love me the way I want them to. Especially not you...
  Bone / RedComet / 271d 7h 50m 36s
Oh I love you so much more than I can stand. I hope the universe has plans for us
  Bone / RedComet / 275d 21m 48s
Will you ever care about me like I love you? Probably not, but one can die hoping
  RedComet / 283d 5h 15m 45s
and then there are the nights like these where I very unironically want to die
  RedComet / 310d 1h 34m 39s
Everyone should just leave me alone. I'm not worth the effort. It was my mistake to want to be involved with others again in the first place.
  ~Haise / RedComet / 311d 43m 40s
I am sorry for all of my behavior. I have been down for longer than I can remember.
  ~Haise / RedComet / 333d 6h 51m 18s
Tonight is a low night. I am dreading what I have to do tomorrow... So I may not sleep from now until then.
  ~Haise / RedComet / 335d 4h 11m 9s
My life is far too much for someone like me to bear sometimes
  *Comet* / RedComet / 338d 4h 42m 7s
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0pdwd0miqs]
  *Comet* / RedComet / 339d 2h 38m 15s
I just want one of my parents to be okay when I'm not around to take care of them. My dad is the strongest person I know but now he needs help... and I had to help my mom get to bed tonight after she drank too much for the fourth time this week. When I go back to school next week I am going to have no way of helping either one of them... This weight is getting to be too much. I guess I have nothing to do but keep internalizing.
  *Comet* / RedComet / 340d 4h 1m 45s
I spend all of my time worrying about the few people I let myself care about, but it seems that when I stress over them nothing bad happens. I can accept that. If it's possible to take all of the burden of their worrying and pain, I will do it if it means they are okay. I don't have anyone to talk to, so keeping everything locked up in my head is the only option I have, even if it hurts.

So of course when I forget about my stress for a few weeks and drop that weight, bad things begin to happen and continue to stack up until it's cataclysmic. I'm sorry, Dad. Maybe if I hadn't dropped that weight for a bit, if I had just stayed vigilant and stopped thinking about myself, you would still be able to live your life like you used to and not be afflicted moving forward. I hope you find some way to find enjoyment in the things you used to again...

Me? I guess I will just add this to my weight...
  *Comet* / RedComet / 341d 4h 23m 4s
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