catalogue of thoughtsReplies: 6 / 10 days 14 hours 37 minutes 6 seconds
[+red I don't care if you read this, but don't criticize me for anything I post.]
[+blue It's how I feel and the shit I think about, so what can ya do?]
You don't have permission to post in this thread.
I am sorry for all of my behavior. I have been down for longer than I can remember.
Tonight is a low night. I am dreading what I have to do tomorrow... So I may not sleep from now until then.
My life is far too much for someone like me to bear sometimes
I just want one of my parents to be okay when I'm not around to take care of them. My dad is the strongest person I know but now he needs help... and I had to help my mom get to bed tonight after she drank too much for the fourth time this week. When I go back to school next week I am going to have no way of helping either one of them... This weight is getting to be too much. I guess I have nothing to do but keep internalizing.
I spend all of my time worrying about the few people I let myself care about, but it seems that when I stress over them nothing bad happens. I can accept that. If it's possible to take all of the burden of their worrying and pain, I will do it if it means they are okay. I don't have anyone to talk to, so keeping everything locked up in my head is the only option I have, even if it hurts.
So of course when I forget about my stress for a few weeks and drop that weight, bad things begin to happen and continue to stack up until it's cataclysmic. I'm sorry, Dad. Maybe if I hadn't dropped that weight for a bit, if I had just stayed vigilant and stopped thinking about myself, you would still be able to live your life like you used to and not be afflicted moving forward. I hope you find some way to find enjoyment in the things you used to again...
Me? I guess I will just add this to my weight...
All posts are either in parody or to be taken as literature. This is a roleplay site. Sexual content is forbidden.