ShenanigansReplies: 59 / 184 days 18 hours 39 seconds
- [Allowed] Knight-
Heck it, it's my little place to read, write, do whatever I please. I'll only give access to the boif since, well, I like him so much.
[https://www.retailmenot.com This is the shopping thing which lets you get coupons lmaoooo]
[https://www.dresslily.com My to shop place because I love the style,,,]
I use wish for stockings and things which are cheap. Beware of the material since it is thin and easy to break,,,
Uhhh,,, more shopping stores as I go alone huhu.
[h3 [center Ushi's shopping list]]
[https://www.dresslily.com/bowknot-stripe-backless-peplum-tank-product3018390.html Tanktop with bow]
[https://www.dresslily.com/asymmetric-lace-panel-open-shoulder-product2905940.html Gray floral tanktop]
[https://www.dresslily.com/skulls-lace-up-tank-top-product2760786.html Skull lace tanktop]
[https://www.dresslily.com/long-sleeve-empire-waist-handkerchief-dress-product2145972.html o wo]
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[#c57570 [i [center [size10 That photoshoot was cool. Especially since it was with some cool peeps. Huhuhu. I’ll probably upload them to Instagram and Facebook. We shall see owo!]]]]
[size10 [i [center [#c57570 Dont try to threaten me bro. I’m telling you that right now, I don’t give a fuck on whether or not you can beat my ass. At the end of the day, I’ll be the one who will fuck you over. Fucking try me.]]]]
[size10 [i [center [#c57570 Oh how I wish I had kept that to myself. It’s almost hurtful how easily I brushed off your worry, and I’m sorry. I’ll be fine, it’s an occasional urge. And yes it has been more frequent since I have been feeling something other than nonchalant.
I apologize, maybe I should have still kept that to myself. As I have been for the past few weeks.
In other news, I have a photo shoot tomorrow. And I know it’s going to be great. That’s something to look forward to after school ^^ <3]]]]
[size10 [i [center [#c57570 Is it wrong of me to have the desire to see you at your lowest? To indulge in the demons you speak of which abuse others emotionally? To see if I’d be able to live through it and still love you for who you are? Flaws and all?
Would it be wrong of me to desire it vice-versa? For you to feel isolated and shelled off as I lie through my teeth to you and tell you, you were meaningless to me from the get-go? Nothing more than a space of time to occupy as I get ready for my actual life?
What if I wanted us to go through the ultimate test? For I know if we were to make it through that, we would be able to make it through anything.
I want to know what it feels like, to have you hate me but love me all at once. I’m interested to see what would break, if we were to, or just me. Would I be strong enough to face that and say I’d be there for you? After you spit lie after lie? Then tell me only half truths when trying to make amends with me?
Would you be strong enough to know better about how elegantly I can thread my words together to feel like a thousand knives going into your back? Would you know better that you meant the world to me, despite what was being said in the there and present?
So many questions have been stirring in my head during class. And all of them are intriguing and enticing to ponder over as I sit complacent on my patbus back home.
What of your boundaries? What comes before me, aside from your family and David?
What about me? What comes before you, it’s a good question which I have yet to pick apart within even myself at the present.
Would I be able to bring out an ugly side of you which you didn’t know existed? Would you be able to do the same to me?
Would we be able to go back to how things were after the storm?
Hm... only time will tell if fate has these unforeseen events tangled in our distant future.]]]]
Gonna add more as I go rip
[center [i [size10 [#c57570 I think... I’m going to purchase pants and shirts this upcoming pay check owo! I need those too, pft. It’s gonna be great. >w<]]]]
[size10 [i [center [#c57570 Me: *Finishes a light debate with coworker, walks away*
Him: ... You win this round.
Contractor working the building: ... They win them all.
[i [center [size10 [#c57570 The nerve of my laptop freezing on me when I was editing a picture for a half hour and didn't save..... that cunt.]]]]
[size10 [i [center [#c57570 Me, as soon as I crack my eyes open from the confines of my bed: I can’t wait to go to sleep today.
I gotta grab something moderately okay to eat e ve gotta find some places which sell healTHY FOOD SINCE ALL IVE BEEN FEEDING MYSELF IS TRASH.
I’m the trash
The trashiest or pandas
Who live in the dumpsters and steal yo shit.
But really, I would like to find some store that sells food with sustenance. Ugh!]]]
[#c57570 [center [i [size10 I think I figured my own thought process out. My self destructive habits and everything of that nature.
I like to break myself apart to see what will become of it.
I revel in the misery of being in the lowest of the low
Just so see if I can come back from it again. I think thats what I like to do.
Love to challenge myself to become a better person in certain aspects which I believe need to be worked on. And, at most, it’s my emotional state along with my social skills.
I derive a sick pleasure from my own misery as I have been conditioned into gaining the enjoyment of tormenting others before the feel of what they have done to me sinks in.
And then I brood
Before I ask myself “What can I do to make it better?”
And that’s probably why,
After being alone with my thoughts after being requested to be left alone for the night, I hold more of a volition towards finishing this quarter off with good grades.
Just some other input/epiphany I had over myself.
[#c57570 [size10 [i [center FUCK YEAH BITCH I PASSED AND I AINT EVEN STUDY REALLY AMDBWKSHHEEK.
I’m going to have to write my notes via after review tests and quick checks though oh my gooooodddd. Stop being a cunt, Monique.]]]]
[#c57570 [center [i [size10 Goddamn am I tired. The hour of sleep was needed; and having people stare at you for your walk is great? Still doesn’t change the fact I’m t i r e d.
I got my vitamin D supplements tho, and I think I’ll leave them at my job since I’ll otherwise forget to take them. Idunno, maybe? The bad thing of not having a cash cow around any longer is the fact he was SUPER ON POINT WITH EVERYTHING.
He gave me reminders on when to eat ACTUAL food and not a simple fudge round. And he made sure I was just doing healthy things for myself.
It was worth it in the long run though.
If I do good on this test, we’ll see what I shall reward myself with.. granted I don’t grab a bite to eat before I go in, anyways.
A nice toasted muffin with a sandwich sounds really good right about now...]]]]
[center [i [size10 [#c57570 Also, tbh, I've been feeling rather emotionally drained and I feel the need to disappear. And I know I can't. Not right now, anyways, when I have so much work to frickin' do. Maybe after school tomorrow I can go straight to bed and just lay down? Stare up blankly at my ceiling as my mind travels to hell knows where? I just... I don't know.
Perhaps if I pick up knitting again, it will help me as well? I know if I smoke again, it wouldn't:
A) Be until this weekend
B) I'd have to hang out with either two of my friends.
I don't want to talk about what's bothering me all that much. I just want to breathe, think, and relax. Is that too much to ask for?
My coworker was offering me time at his place to have some of his. But I feel like he would desire a little... company or something along the lines of that.
Marie said she can neeext week. So, I'll probably be shooting for then.
I'm getting three extra hours Thursday I believe since it has been offered to me.
Man oh man do I love money.]]]]
[center [i [size10 [#c57570 Y’know, perhaps it’d be best if I invest in vitamin D supplements. I’m always so, so drowsy and I sleep away the entire weekend. If what I have been told by my previous OTA teacher is correct, more vitamin D in my system wouldn’t make me laze around?
I enjoy going out and doing things. It’s just I’m always having the desire to sleep. Especially on the weekends?
Like, you would think I’d stay up all night due to my schedule. Alas, this isn’t so. I’m always s l e e p i n g. Ayudame por favor.
Edit: To my dick supplieR, give me the D pl0x. This is a manner of life or death.]]]]
[center [#330b5b [size10 "Like cmon stop being salty that we ruined your life come back and let us ruin it again"
Is this love?]]]
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