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/ By skitty [+Watch]

Replies: 14 / 7 days 6 hours 15 minutes 42 seconds

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You've proven yourself to be so shallow. The lowest of the lowest. I want to delete every entry on here that I written about you, because at this point I find you just so god damn unappealing. I don't care how perfect you seemed from the start... an person with an icky mind and heart will always remain icky to me. So please, kindly... delete yourself out of my life mkay? it really ain't that hard for me to let go of people so.... byeeee~

[i cri cri cri I don't need you in my life]
  / Skitty / 14h 52m 30s
[Center [Font "Times New Roman" [Size10 I wish... you didn't keep breaking my heart.... being with you is such an emotional rollarcoaster... I just want you to stop. Either be with me, or disappear. I wont bother you if you choose to leave, but stop [b STOP] stringing me along.]]]
[Center [Font "Times New Roman" [Size10 You love me one day,]]][Center [Font "Times New Roman" [Size10 You hate me the other....]]][Center [Font "Times New Roman" [Size10 I just want an answer.]]][Center [Font "Times New Roman" [Size10 I never asked you to be confused.]]]
[Center [Font "Times New Roman" [Size10 The way you deliver your words always makes me believe you, and then at the end you leave me feeling stupid for getting all soft for you. It's not at all like I didn't give you chance after chance. You were the one who kept freely swinging emotions into everything. Even when I offered us to just keep being friends, and I ruined my pride and let you walk all over me.]]][Center [Font "Times New Roman" [Size10 Do you just throw the L bomb around so easily to just anymore? Maybe that word doesn't mean a lot to you... but it does to me.]]]
[Center [Font "Times New Roman" [Size10 I don't need you anymore]]][Center [Font "Times New Roman" [Size10 I don't need anyone]]][Center [Font "Times New Roman" [Size10 I've made it this far alone without any help.]]]
[Center [Font "Times New Roman" [Size10 No one cared when I had my dilemma with quitting high school,]]][Center [Font "Times New Roman" [Size10 No one cared when my grandfather died and I witnessed it and couldn't act normal for a whole week,]]][Center [Font "Times New Roman" [Size10 And NOBODY CARES NOW.]]]
  ø / Skitty / 35m 31s
[Center [Font "Times New Roman" [Size10 Hey Journal,]]][Center [Font "Times New Roman" [Size10 I'm currently kind of confused.]]]
[Center [Font "Times New Roman" [Size10 Like normal, I was talking to Eddie on the phone earlier. We always do this just before both of us are ready to go to bed, and today he seemed especially strange. Out of the blue, he asked me to explain how I felt about him... if I liked him, or if I loved him... what I loved about him, If I wanted to just use him for sex or if I wanted to be genuine. I didn't know how to respond so I stayed silent. I did this not knowing which of the following was the right answer to spurt out. I didn't want my answers to ruin what we already had... and eventually he got scared, and felt a tinge of the same.]]]
[Center [Font "Times New Roman" [Size10 "Never mind! I don't wanna know!"]]]
[Center [Font "Times New Roman" [Size10 We went back to joking, and talking about the randomest of things. However, he got really sad and kept telling me he missed me, and wishes that I was there. I tried comforting him, saying that I'd give him plenty of love and affection- to which he responded that the more he thought about me, the sadder he got. He tells me he loves me, and he even got a little jealous which is rare....]]][Center [Font "Times New Roman" [Size10 we're only pretending to date so it's not real.... so it felt weird seeing that.Normally he tells me he doesn't care what I do aside from what we have.
What's happening?Is he just confused and in the moment again... ? Or....?]]]
  / Skitty / 38m 8s
[Center [Youtube https://youtu.be/P5C8iEoKt60]]
  ⓖⓘⓕⓣⓢ / Skitty / 5d 3h 53m 51s
[Center [Font "Times New Roman" [Size10 Once upon a fucking time, I had strong feelings for a man who led me to believe he felt the same about me.]]]
[Center [Font "Times New Roman" [Size10 We were very good friends, talked every single day, shared our hopes, our dreams, our fears and while there was a lot of love between us, he told me that he wasn't capable of being in a relationship at that current point in his life and things went downhill from there.]]][Center [Font "Times New Roman" [Size10 His reasons seemed valid enough, so I waited. Waiting soon turned into cutting myself off from other guys thinking that I had met the person I was meant to be with forever, and that getting serious about anyone else would be unfair to him. I remained in a state of blissful ignorance until reality came to bite me in the ass. More specifically, the news that this guy who absolutely positively could not be in a relationship, was suddenly in a relationship. In order to protect myself from feeling like a complete idiot, I valiantly tried to find a reasonable explanation.]]][Center [Font "Times New Roman" [Size10 Maybe he just needs to have one last fling before settling down with me? Maybe this relationship is just about having fun, and that sex is just where his head is at right now?]]][Center [Font "Times New Roman" [Size10 I maybe'd my way through every possible scenario, but it didn't change the reality of the situation. Of course, it certainly didn't make me feel any better either.]]] [Center [Font "Times New Roman" [Size10 The relationship lasted a few months and as soon as it was over, he was right there at my doorstep.]]] [Center [Font "Times New Roman" [Size10 It pains me to admit this, but I was quick to oblige to whatever he wanted. I thought that maybe he finally saw the light, and our time to be together had finally come.]]]
[Center [Font "Times New Roman" [Size10 Whoops.]]]
[Center [Font "Times New Roman" [Size10 No such luck. Their relationship wasn't the sham that I made it out to be in my mind. It was real, his pain was real and suddenly I had a very ugly reality of my own to comfort.After spending a few days consoling him I was struck with an powerful epiphany.]]][Center [Font "Times New Roman" [Size10 [i What am I doing? Why would I ever, EVER invest so heavily in someone who doesn't want me?]]]][Center [Font "Times New Roman" [Size10 And just like that, I was over it. No more sadness, no more anguish, I felt ... fine.]]][Center [Font "Times New Roman" [Size10 After this experience, I've steadily abided by one prevailing principle...]]][Center [Font "Times New Roman" [Size10 Ready for it?]]][Center [Font "Times New Roman" [Size10 [b Never, ever, want someone who doesn't want you.]]]]

[Center [Font "Times New Roman" [Size10 First off, someone who can't see your innate value doesn't deserve a place in your precious heart. The toll it takes is devastating and can ravage your sense of self. If you let it fester, it'll only provide you with deep seeded feelings of inadequacy, and self-doubt along the way.]]][Center [Font "Times New Roman" [Size10 If a guy says or indicates he wants to be with you but isn't actually with you for whatever reason then don't waste your time. Don't help his case by reasoning and rationalizing why his reasons make sense.]]][Center [Font "Times New Roman" [Size10 [b when someone starts giving you excuses as to why they can't do something, then they don't want to do the thing in question.]]]][Center [Font "Times New Roman" [Size10 Some reasons may be quite valid, and they may be the truth- but when it comes down to it, if he wanted to be with you... then he would be, no?]]]
[Center [Font "Times New Roman" [Size10 I try to be a really tough person sometimes. It doesn't work. We all know that if a catipillar can make me cry, then there's no way on earth I can Rock Lee my way through a lot of the shit I've been through .... but I do? And it is what it is. My life goal for this year is to become this person I've always dreamed of being. Kind, smart, happy... and nothing of the negative sorts. It's hard sometimes due to my pessimistic side winning over but I'm really giving it my all. Most times I prefer not to worry others with my problems in real life or online. I want to be able to at least vent in here when I feel like it, without filters or wanting to delete it.]]]


[Center [Font "Times New Roman" [Size10 Jokes aside, I have been waking up at 6 am recently a lot. Today is one of those days. I should probably go back to sleep and use up whatever time I have left until work. It won't be a lot though since I have to get up at 7:25... on the dot. I wish Eddie was awake so I could just .... jajwjejdjwbwj <3 you guys don't know how sweet he has been to me as of recently. The caution of him hurting me sometimes disappears, because when we talk it feels so natural.]]]


[Center [Font "Times New Roman" [Size10 I can go on for hours... and hours... but I should REALLLLY get some sleep.]]]
  ¿ / Skitty / 6d 10h 48m 8s
[Center [Font "Bree" [Size10 Nobody cares when you're sad and alone. Nobody cares if you can't sleep at night, or if you had a bad day. Nobody especially cares if a family member passed away right before your eyes, and all you want to do is cry but you have to pull yourself together. I mean technically speaking, What does it have to do with them, right? ha... straight up fucking bulllllllll.]]][Center [Font "Bree" [Size10 I'm the biggest joke of all. Despite my rants, I stay up smiling for these pests... even go as far as to care for them. Why...? are appearances that important to me?]]][Center [Font "bree" [size10 I hate you all. I hate every single bit of everything. God I feel like such a rat..]]]

[Center [Font "Bree" [Size10 I need to work hard to just fix my life so I don't have to depend on anyone anymore.]]]

[Center [b Update:] [Font "Bree" I'm eating chicken nuggets now, and my emotions are in check. Apologies Journal.]]
  ¿ / skitty / 7d 4h 26m 14s
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