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/ By InterStella [+Watch]

Replies: 16 / 65 days 7 hours 15 minutes 0 seconds

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  1. [Allowed] Psyk


[h1 Just for me.]

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Sneeze over Sneeze. Im SICK. Honestly I thought I was dying, but I'm fine. I think.

I feel bad Ive been neglecting babe. Im sick and Im always too busy or tired to get up after school. Ugh. MY BIRTHDAY IS SUNDAY.
  SRS / SinfulStella / 40d 16h 47m 2s
Some old Therapy project shit...



Icey cold. Icey cold. Those were the thoughts racing around my head like horses frightened in a thunderstorm. Thrown in the white tiled tub, unable to speak because of the tape he had covered my mouth with to muffle the screams. Icey Cold, Icey Cold again and again going through my head as I was soaked from the water. This had been going on for days. The yelling, the screaming, the fighting. From the time I came home, to the time I fell asleep. Mentally and Physically beaten black and blue, until I was too tired to do anything else. I’ve made mistakes, yes I have. So has he. Mom, my motherly figure, my hero and my bestfriend was helpless. She was too scared to stop it, to get in the middle and stop him.

32 times. 32 times I went to school, crying, bruised like a rotting banana. They called, they came, they did nothing about it. 32 times. Nothing. I had the proof. On me. Literally on my body. They had the pictures. They had them. But did they care enough to do something? Even when it came unbearable, they did nothing. Even when I went and held that one knife, that my mother couldn’t bare to use, to my wrists they did nothing. Nothing at all.
  SRS / SinfulStella / 51d 5h 33m 44s
[center [b 10-23-17]]
[Center [I Soooo.... Babe can see what I'm typing so I gotta be careful. Uhm... Where to start.... OH! I worked this weekend... I ate sushi... went shopping.... ordered more glitter..... Hmm what else.... OH RIGHT BABE PROPOSED TO ME DUN DUN DUN!!!! XD. ANYWAYSS WHY THE FUCK ARE MY CAPS ON?????]]
  SRS / SinfulStella / 51d 14h 54m 15s
[google-font https://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Over+the+Rainbow]
[#2d9a6a [size20 [Over+the+Rainbow I was miserable until you.
The day that we met I was thinking of not going out at all.
Lucky I did because now I have you in my life.
I was sad, depressed, and didn't care about anything.
Then you showed up and turned my world upside down.
You turned my frown upside down.
No one has been able to do that in a long time.
I look at you and you look back.
You ask me what is wrong.
I say nothing, I've just been wondering where you have been all my life.
You say that you were wondering the same thing about me.
I smile and think that you are juts perfect.
I tell you:
Until you I wanted my world to end.
Until you I had nothing to look forward to in the day.
Until you I was just part of the crowd.
Now that I have you all of that is juts is the opposite,
no one can ever change that
Now that you are here,
you have completed me and my life.
  SRS / SinfulStella / 54d 1h 11m 9s
[google-font https://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Over+the+Rainbow]
[#2d9a6a [size20 [Over+the+Rainbow I'm standing on the edge
My toes hanging off the side
The wind blows sweetly
Rustling my hair
And relaxing me
Causing me to lean towards the void
All around me
I hear his voice whispering
"You're beautiful" and
"I'll always be there for you"
I close my eyes
And I can feel his hand in mine
And his arms wrapped around me
Then my head is filled with memories
Of his lips
Pressed against mine
In the softest manner
And then
I'm
Falling
I've fallen in love with him
And it's the most exuberant feeling
The air rushes around me
And makes me lightheaded
It's like I'm flying
And nothing can stop me
All I hear is his voice
Telling me I'm the only one for him
Then...
He
Leaves
I hit the ground
Which seems to materialize underneath me
And for months I lay there
Broken
Hurt
And crying
People try to help me up
But I don't let them
All I can think of
Is him
How could he make me fall for him
When he had no intention
Of catching me

Then you come along
You mend my brokenness
And help me to my feet
And before I know it
I'm on top of the building again
And yet again
The wind blows
Trying to push me off the edge
But this time
I brace myself
I don't want to fall
And get hurt
A second time
I try to back away from the edge
But something stops me
I hear your voice
Calling to me from below
"I will never break your heart
I swear"
Slowly
I move towards the side of the building
I picture the times we've talked for hours
The times you've held me when I cried
The times you stuck by my side
When no one else would
"I'll never hurt you like he did"
You whisper this in my ear
As I drift off to sleep one night
I never remembered until now
Then
I
Fall
And yet again
The feeling is amazing
Only this time
It doesn't end with brokenness
Instead I land in your arms
And
In your heart
  SRS / SinfulStella / 54d 1h 18m 58s
[google-font https://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Over+the+Rainbow]
[#2d9a6a [size20 [Over+the+Rainbow Im a stalker and I went through babes shit and found this. I'm honestly starting to wonder about what I'm doing. I had a plan at one point and that involved getting married at about 25, having two kids by the age 30 and all while being finacially stable living happily doing what I want to do with life.....

Really what am I doing? I'm screwing myself over.
I want kids....
I want stability....

I want to know how to handle emotions in general and not just be extremely aspie about them!

I want to be held..... I want to be kissed.... and be whispered too.


Here is my Reply:

You want to get married at 25? Lets get married on your 25th birthday.
You want two kids at 30? Lets have some at 30 then.
You want stability? Fuck that shit, I'm not stable and neither are you.
You want to live happy? I'll do my best to make you happy every single day of my life
You want to know how to control your emotions? Talk to me about them
You want to be held? I'm already holding you in my heart.
You want to be kissed? I'm already kissing you
You want to be whispered to? I'm loud, so I'll have to yell how much I love you.
  Wink Peace / SinfulStella / 54d 2h 52m 13s
[center [b 10-20-17]]
[google-font https://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Over+the+Rainbow]
[#2d9a6a [size20 [Over+the+Rainbow Well know that I know bae can read this I'm fucked. Absolutely fucked. God damn. Anywaysss. I finally got a whole night's worth of sleep. YAY ME. I also realized that I have the house for 8 straight hours alone. So thats good, but it won't last.
  Wink Peace / SinfulStella / 54d 3h 15m 43s
[center [b 10-18-17]]
[center [i God Damn. I'm so freaking tired, but last night was worth it.]]
[Center [i Kirby and I have been together for 3 weeks going on 4 weeks aka 1 month. God. I'd be lying if I said it didn't feel longer. He's the sweetest boyfriend ever. He's not pushy, and damn. His eyes. *w*. God, I remember before we got together. He was a totally different person. Hard headed, bad boy vibes, a complete hottie. What the hell! He still is! But now, god. He's the cutest, sweetest, cuddliest man ever!]]
[center [i Thats all for now.]]
  Wink Peace / SinfulStella / 56d 7h 33m 29s
[center [B 10-13-17]]
[Center [I Kirbylicious. Hehe. I have no idea what that was. Anyways. Seems like bad shit is happening to me. First a car wreck, then I broke my laptop. What's next? Who knows. Its Friyay! Date night with bae. Movies and cuddles. Yay!!]]
[center [b 10~9~17]]
[center [i Class. Whew! What to say about to day... It was crazy and as usual Whenever you had a sub, your class went crazy because you know, their normal teacher wasn't there.]
[center [I You'd think that since we were all adults we would act like it. Most of us didn't. I tried to, but it's hard when your friends were goofing off and making you laugh.]
[center [i I think most of my posts will be about bae. I don't know why, but I think it's gonna happen.]]
[center [b GOD IM SUCH A GIRL]]
[center [b 10~09~2017]]
[Center [i Welp. My dad finally got out of the hospital. I'm not sure if they found anything, he's on medication and he's more of an ass then ever before.]]
[Center [I Mitchell and Lucas came over yesterday, without letting me know. It was a pleasant surprise, until I got soaked. They stayed over pretty late, and plan on staying in a hotel for the next week. Mitchell is going to join the Marines. Hes... ugh.. I don't know how to feel about it. Lucas is very close to me, only because he's the youngest son and closer to me in age. We get along well so yea.]]
[Center [I I'm really happy with Kirby. I feel bad though, I've been super busy and haven't been able to talk to him much, but when I can I enjoy it. We have little date nights over the phone. Its fun. I want to visit him soon.]]
[Center [b Thats all for now!]]
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