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It was good to have an adventure again and feel some weight lifted on her shoulder. The quiet was nice considering there hadn't been a lot of that. "Oh, Maruauders that's a very fancy title. I like it."
Once, inside Honeydukes she purchased her favorite candies with what little money she had here. "If feels as if I haven't had butterbeer in forever though it hasn't been."
She faintly remembered the Death Eaters being reported here. Now it was calm with mostly older people and families ambling around. 'Thank you, Sirius, this is nice," she said giving a smile to him.
"Hes really quite noble, though. His family never encouraged that so he has some difficulties. Aside from not being able to stop tormenting Severus they are good," Remus turned from the window. He desperately wanted to be normal, he wouldn't be himself.
"Holidays aren't happy for everyone, it's difficult this time of year," Remus said before going to sit down. "We each have a burden to bear and it's up to us to wear ur proudly."
Blakely couldn't help her soft laugh at how Sirius would be using the tower room. [b "From what I see of him and his antics that doesn't much surprise me."] She admitted as she once more looked around the room. It was nice and as she had said before homey. It still almost shocked her in a sense that the boy had not brought anyone to it before her.
But she was drawn from her thoughts when she heard the clinging on the railing and the moon's light poured into the room. Very slowly the girl stood and moved over to Remus' side. [b "You seem so very sad... why is that?"] She asked softly, eyes filled with concern for the boy.
A smirk graced Sirius' lips as she seemed surprised to be seeing the passage in the one-eyed witch. "It's one of many passages out of the school. There are reasons a few of us call ourselves Marauders." But that was all he said.
As soon as the girl took his hand, Sirius was leading her through the passage. By now he knew it like the back of his hand and possibly even with his eyes closed if needed. Taking a girl out of the castle was new to him but he couldn't say he regretted it. "Honeydukes is where we'll end up." He explained as a light was coming into sight from the end of the tunnel and he let her name go so that he could go on ahead and open the door to let her out first.
It wasn't that it'd be difficult, he blushed at 5th thought of seeing anything he wasn't supposed to. He still hadn't kissed anyone to this day. "Yes, that's it," Remus covered for himself. "I love my mate's but sometimes they are a bit much. Besides, Sirius would use this for snogging all the time."
He pulled the covers off the Windows looking to the moo sadly, "make yourself at home."
"Not even a little," she assured in a flat tone. Seeing the statue she looked to him curiously before seeing the tunnel. "And how do you know all this?" She asked curiously. She only knew one but it was more for the students safety.
Taking his hand she followed after. This was possibly a terrible idea, but she needed a change in pace and scenery. It wasn't easy with ptsd but she was going to try.
Logically if he wanted to keep up his flirty and carefree imagine than this was one of his less brilliant ideas. But on the flip side the girl seemed like she was having a meltdown and like she had needed something to get her mind off it. At least for a bit and honestly he was no longer feeling the party. So could inviting her out really be that bad an idea? Could getting to know the snarky blonde who had put him in his place the other morning and wanting a new friend be bad? Maybe but since when did he care about making bad choices? The Black boy was full of them.
As she took his hand and spoke, a chuckle slipped his lips and he smirked. Her voice and tone wasn't all there but he could see and hear she eas trying. "Not even just a little?" Sirius asked, though it was clear he was only teasing. "Being serious though you won't have to worry about me tonight. I'll behave." And with that, the boy led her to the one-eyed witch's statue with the hump and opened the passage, making his way through first and offering a hand to the girl. This was the first time he was going to slip anyone out besides going with his friends, but according to him and his logic it was as good an idea as any.
As the two walked, Blakely was silent and taking in the towers of the great school. It was funny but in a cute way that even in this time he so very preferred the abandoned towers. When he had let her hand go, the girl didn't complain but kept her gaze upon him. [b "The dress would make it a little difficult huh?"] She asked, trying to make a slight joke.
Once the latter was down and he had climbed up, the girl slowly did after and took the offered hand. Her gaze wend around the room and she smiled faintly. It was the same set up that she and Willow had when they spent their time in the Room of Requirements.
[b "I think it's brilliant.. and already it feels so homey. I can see why you like it up here and choose to get away here.. And don't worry people and school...it can be too much sometimes and make you want to just withdraw."] Her words were thoughtful as she moved over to the old couch and sat.
Hadn't Willow herself said it was not wise to get close to them? They might as well be ghosts. Instead she had just told him about Brian feeling the upcoming meltdown coming. Instead Sirius seemed to want to pause that meltdown. Looking to him, she gave a small smile.
Taking his hand in response, she smoothed the skirt. It was a terrible idea logically, but company seemed good, and anything but those halls. "Try anything, though, and you'll pay for it."
She added, though her tone was still not quite there.
There was several towers in Hogwarts, and not all used. He let go of her hand halfway through the way before reaching for one tower that looked as if it hadn't been used in many years. "Here it is. I'll go first...because of the dress..."
He pulled out the ladder before climbing up. Inside it was comfortable. There was a fire place, an old couch and other items. "This is where I like to go when Hogwarts is too much. It happens more than it should."
He offered her a hand for when she'd reach the top.
Sirius again listened to the words that the girl spoke. Really did she seem to be struggling and the pain seemed to be winning. In that instance he could have sworn he saw someon beyond their years instead of the teen girl whom he was trying to help. A sad smile did form on his lips as he stood up.
"Come on.. there's a place that isn't quite so people-filled. Or more like we're going to have a night on the town. That is if you're game? Beats being here since you can't seem to do it." The teen boy said as he held a hand out to the girl. If she chose to take it he would take her through a passage and to Hogsmeade. He had meant everything that he had said.
The sharpness in his tone had hit harder than she had wanted it too. But she knew that it was not meant. Knew his pain and irritableness. [b "It's nothing to be sorry for. We all have our moments.. And honestly I would like to get to know you too..."] The gentleness was back in her voice and though still broken it didn't sound as forced.
Green eyes went to the hand that the boy had offered and she took it, standing herself. [b "Lead the way."] The girl wanted a friend as well. Having Willow was a comfort but it still was lonely in its way. A way she didn't quite know.
Remus looked to her knowing his words came out sharper. It was what happened, he grew irritable and the words came out different than intended. He gave her a soft look, "I'm sorry, sometimes the words come out wrong. I just mean...that it'd be an honor to get to know you and you know me differently."
He wanted a friend, yet it was odd how she seemed to know him. "I'll show you one of my favorite spots. If Sirius and James know this spot, they haven't told me."
Standing up he offered her a hand.
Was this the place that he would be in? Looking to his hand and then him, her expression grew troubled for a moment. "It happened though, and it shouldn't have. He was sweet, painfully funny, and could put a smile on anyone's face..."
It was so easy to step back...er, the future in time. "Better place or not it's a hole in your heart. Sometimes you can just see the memory or feel it..."
Looking up towards the way to the Great Hall she shook her head. "I can't do this tonight."
She didn't mean to come off as she knew him, but the fact of the matter was she did. Or rather that she had before. So his words did sting a little bit. [b "I know more than you think....But I guess you're right. It can be a bit curious."] She said quietly and then her attention came to fully go to the boy. His softness and that look. It made her want to tell him the truth.
Her hand came up to the necklace she had been given by Willow and she couldn't help squeezing it. [b "It would be a subject for another time...but if you would like to listen...when we're both not so...out of it I will tell you."] Blakely said quietly and then gave a weak laugh and nod to his next words. Of course he would only go because of James and Sirius.
The girl took a moment of thought but then nodded. [b "A lot of people aren't my thing either. Especially not as of late... So the quieter and more peaceful place sounds nice."] And with that she stood and held a hand out to Remus.
Her words so painfilled and earnest. It was misery even to him and he didn't know the boy of whom she spoke. But just seeing anyone so hurt and broken tugged at the part of him that cared and was actually a decent person. Slowly his hand went to hers and he have it a small squeeze.
"I'm sorry for your loss. No one deserves to lose their best mate...and I can honestly say I don't know what you're going through because I still have mine... But I do know at least he's in a better place and was lucky knowing someone like you. Also wouldn't want you crying and having a bad night either..." The boy whispered and gave her a genuine smile that only James and Remus had ever seen.
Oh, they wanted to come out, those words describing all the horrors that she had seen, the way Hogwarts had been, and losing her best friend. Instead she only lowered her head attempting to push it back for just a while longer. Giving a side ways glance to Sirius, she thought before looking back to the stairs.
"I had to give my cousin a promise ring that my best friend was supposed to give her. He couldn't, because he's dead...a promise is a promise, though," Willow's words choked up towards the end. There was so much more, but it couldn't come out. "All I see is memories of him, and know he's not here..."
"Do I look that bad?" Remus asked with a small, humorless laugh. "No, it's really fine, there's just a bad time with sleep then it goes away...You really don't need to talk like you know me. Actually talking like there's a mystery is good, too."
Hearing her say that he frowned before giving her a soft look. "Would you like to tell me?"
The party made him scuff. "I don't want to go. I do it for James and Sirius but I think I'd like to go somewhere more peaceful and have a quiet evening. What would you like?"
Here it was again. The part of the man he would become that had been a friend and someone she had cared for. He had always had a soft spot for people and seemed to want to help even if he himself was in bad shape. The girl knew full well what his words referred to as did she know he looked like hell due to transforming the next night. But all of what she knew she was forced to hide. Forced to play the ignorant school girl and to be merry with the holiday.
The girl put her head on her lap and closed her eyes. [b "You're probably worse off than I am...not having had sleep in the last few days and roaming even when not on your rounds as a prefect... If I were to tell you I was okay, it would be a lie...I've not been for a long time."] She whispered, but it was as honest as she could be. Or as much as she could say without telling the boy everything though he very much had that calming air about him.
The smallest of smiles came to her lips after a few moments as she slowly looked to him. [b "I'll go to the Christmas Party if you do."]
Her words and the way they were spoken hit something in him. It was the same tone he had used when speaking with his mother before he had run away from home. And for a few moments the boy was silent. Most the time he was an insolent arse, but he could be nice when warranted. And right now it seemed so as the girl seemed so very off.
"Okay, I'll bite. But you tell anyone there is more to me and I will deny it. What's going on? You seem too glum for it being the holiday." The boy said as he slowly lowered himself to sit beside the girl on the steps. He actually was curious as she did seem so off to what he had come to know.
To tell the truth, Remus thought, to say that he was transforming. That was why he looked sleep deprived and sick. Remus smiled at that thought before looking to her. She looked worse than him,really. Frowning he moved to sit on the stairs by her giving a grim smile.
"I don't much care for big groups, to be honest. You were right, people are...uncomfortable," Remus gave a dry laugh before giving a small sigh. "You don't look good, Blakely, are you okay?"
At least it was tomorrow, he'd be free for a some days and it'd return.
Giving a sound of irritation at hearing that voice. Another petty comment. Bringing her knees closer to her she moved her head down to try and reclaim some calm. "Please leave me alone, Sirius. I am not in any mood for this," Willow said in a calm tone, but it had an edge to each word.
She was supposed to go in there and pretend to be happy. PTSD, that was the muggle name for this. It was difficult.
[b "I know we will...and...yeah I'll join you in a little bit."] The girl whispered as she watched the other girl slip off. She couldn't help the chills that went through her or the flashes of the last night she and Brian had had together from flashing in her mind so vividly. It was always like this but just it seemed worse with the promise ring having been given.
She slowly ran her fingers through her hair and slipped the chain about her neck. Since Willow had given it to her and it was from Brain she figured it would be best to wear it. It was only when hearing the shuffling of steps and the voice did watery green eyes turn to the boy and she reached up to rub her eyes.
[b "I had been led here tonight... But it's fine..."] She said slowly and quietly as she looked down at the ground. [b "What has you roaming the halls and not joining the others? It's supposed to be a night of fun for those of us who didn't want to or can't go home."] Blakely said, her voice gentle though trying to hide her brokeness. All she really wanted to do was to go back to the common room and to hide.
Sirius had been exicted about the party. It meant fun and more flirting. Of course he felt bad for Remus and the orher being miserable but he still couldn't help the side of him that had wanted to have fun. So he had ended up in the Great Hall with James and all the others figuring that Remus would come down if or when he wanted to.
He was getting a little bored as he had flirted with almost all the girls in the room and the Great Hall had become a bit stuffy for his liking. So he left to take a small walk and grey eyes found their way to the stairs and a welcoming sight. A pretty little blonde, no THE pretty little blonde who had bested him the other day had caught his attention and so he found his way over to bother her.
"Hey, shouldn't you be in the hall? Too pretty a girl to be out here all alone." The teen Sirius said, leaning against the railing as he spoke.
It wasn't fair that Brian wasn't there. All the noble causes in the world didn't take that personal injustice away, but it was what it took to not hate the world. Willow knew her demons were starting to riot and the girl wished it wasn't so strong. Right now seeing Blakely like this made her think that it wasn't right, it should be changed. Then again, it could turn out much worse.
"I'm glad that you and Brian were able to help outside of the cause the start of this year. You two had time together just you two and whatever else," Willow said before giving a smile. "You're welcome, I know that we'll be okay, no matter what we chose. I'll just give you a moment, okay?"
Slipping off, she moved to sit by the stairs by the Great Hall. She really was not in the mood for people.
The day before the transformation was the worse. Physical pain meant mental pain, Remus didn't even speak to his friends the day before the transformation. There had to be a party on this day, James and Sirius were all excited about it and there he was finding the long way to go to the dining hall. He'd eat a little and go back to the common room.
Coming down one stair case he was surprised to see Blakely alone. "What are you doing here?" He asked hoping his voice didn't give away the pain he was in. She had been quiet in class, which was surprising to him.
Blakely bit her bottom lip as she was led to the little cove near the stair cases. The spot had been where she and Brian had first kissed and when they could slipped off to to sneak in kisses here and there. A magical place to her and would not mean much to others because they didn't know what it truly meant. But this, the look in Willow's eyes said she knew and that alone caused her chest to tighten more.
[b "I...I remember leading him here and asking a favour as well. I think we all did in the event that something happened. And knowing what could happen. We had wanted to help though..."] There was pain lacing her words and her voice as she spoke, snapping her mouth shut to listen to what Willow had to say.
When the other girl had told her and gave her the promise ring on the chain, Blakely couldn't help the tears that stung her eyes. She gave a weak smile and moved forward to hug her cousin. [b "Thank you...you don't know how much this means."] She whispered and kissed her cheek before she stepped back herself.
Willow took Blakely's hand gently, leading her to one of the back areas, it was near the stair case in a little a cove. Willow hadn't known it wasn't important until he had told her it was where they first kissed. Glancing around to make sure no one was around she let out a small sigh finding this too impossible to do.
"Before it started, we all knew the chances, and still did it. He pulled me here and asked if I would do something just in case. I asked if he would too, I was going to have him give you grandma's books I inherited," Willow took a moment to let out a small, dry laugh. "He told me that come Christmas he was going to stand here and give this to you, and if something happened, asked me to. So...I'm keeping my word."
She pulled out the chain with a simple ring on it the color of Blakely's birth stone. "It's a promise ring...he loved you...I'm not going to kiss you though, you're beautiful and everything but cousins..that's just creepy."
Cracking a small smile she placed in Blakely's hand before stepping back.
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