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[size10 Funny how some people try to psychoanalyze others based off some posts and try to act like they're being cool calling out certain people. Actually it's not even funny, just sad. Trying to be relevant only to be completely shut down.
Socially feeling a bit like shit. Its not been fun scurrying away from some contact just to avoid potentially sounding like a dick.
Very few things draw me back here nowadays and I just wish the last bit of people would have other consistent forms of communication so I can feel less obligation to be here. Don't get me wrong, I'd probably still pop by, considering the weird draw to this place, but I'd do it even more sparingly than I do now. I'm sure itd make a couple people happy to see me gone.
Shiny hunting like crazy in Ultra Moon. Boring as ever. Managed to get that shiny Magikarp after three or so hours, though, so at least I'm making progress. But I'm also getting ahead of myself - I should finish my Pokedex so I can get the shiny charm.
Juggling between this, I occasionally mess with the discord bots Pokecord and Monstacord, actually netted myself a few legendaries on both. Been pretty fun, albeit slow.
I'm really tired. I wish I wasn't. I don't want to keep sleeping days away. Don't wanna keep sleeping life away.
[size10 Turns out some family has been trying to contact me since my birthday... oops. Never thought I'd hear from my grandpas ex wife. I guess he'd given her a diamond ring a long time ago and she'd been meaning to give it to me for my 21st. I was in tears with a mix of joy to finally be able to have something of grandpas, and a lot of pain that I really don't enjoy being dredged up. But she's been really nice. Even talked about helping with tuition if I went to college. I'm a little overwhelmed hearing from her. Don't know what sort of information she knows about dad and I's falling out. I guess it is nice hearing from her regardless, though.
The two birthdays of August have finally rolled past. They were both a lot of fun, and I think a lot of good for the family. Mum said it was the best birthday she'd had since everything happened. My two "kids" were even nice enough to throw in a happy birthday for her, and I got her a card from Freya which made her laugh a lot. She looked at my card and didn't even open it before starting to cry. I know things have been hard for her. That's why I'm trying to work hard at moving forward for her. Things are slow and places still aren't interested. Guess I'm gonna have to go the schooling route. Oh well.
Been playing a lot more chill stuff lately. Slime Rancher, some Darkest Dungeon. Darkest Dungeon has actually been a LOT of fun. I took the time to sift through the steam mods and got some cool balance adjusters, new classes, and waifu'd up some existing characters. Its really made for some funny scenarios, like when I first lost Reynauld... only for the very rare resurrect event to play immediately at entering town... so... I guess Reynauld is back! And then I fought the lvl 5 Siren boss and lost my favorite team... thanks to Guts being a weak-willed bitch! Seriously... got allured every turn and MASSACRED everyone else... then his grave has the audacity to say "killed by his own allies"... bitch whAT you literally KILLED EVERYONE. Should have named you Griffith for that betrayal. Genuinely was so heart broken that I made a whole new game. Now that I actually attach myself to the characters and give them each personalized names, the game is a lot more intense. Definitely wasn't playing like I should when I was just haphazardly throwing out dudes into dungeons without caring. Seriously, fuck DDs RNG.
Also, while I was sifting through bots for Discord, I found out that there's a good amount of pokemon related bots and? welp now I have a newfound obsession, fuck. it's like gacha game levels of addicting.
/ 1y 216d 14h 52m 25s
[size10 Cytus is my current obsession, love the songs, totally addicted to attempting to get perfect scores... never been good at doing two different things with my hands at the same time() but I guess the rhythm game is doing a good job of helping me with that!
I got my first interview, I was definitely nervous as hecc. Don't think I'm gonna be scheduled for a second one, but surprisingly... I'm okay with that. Not like, that I'm happy I didn't get the job, I'm just not beat up over it. Just time to move on and apply to other places is all. I'm doing my best to ease up on myself, not be so hard. I've always put myself down for being as old as I am and being so late to adulthood. But I realize that I ended up crippling myself more. I don't want to do that anymore.
Here's to better times with friends that adore me, a partner who's stood by my side despite everything I've done to him, and my tight knit family that sees my potential and wants the best for me. You all give me too much patience, and I don't want to take that for granted anymore.
/ 1y 248d 11h 4m 53s
[size10 I've been spending a lot of time in the server. Even neglecting to be present in others. But it's fun. I haven't smiled and laughed like this in a while. I've made some new friends and feel even closer to the ones I had before. It's like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. A part of dread that had resided in me is slowly going away. I hope these people know how much adoration I hold in my heart for them for making my life a little better.
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